Authoress's notes: hi all, and welcome to my first (and probably last) Gravitation fic. It's just a small drabble – two, actually. The first is in Shuuichi's point of view, regarding Yuki. The second is Yuki's view of Shu-chan. Quite simple, huh?
I recently had a Gravi-Marathon: I sat in front of the TV for over 4 hours and watched these two chase each other over 2 continents, 3 concerts, 13 episodes and an OVA. And then I remembered just how much I loved the songs. And then I was bitten by a bunny. And ... here we are!
Two Coins
He's an odd one, he is, this Yuki Eiri.
He's got a least two faces – more. I'd say he's like a four-sided coin. Or would that make him a box? No, a cube has six surfaces. Oh, well.
It's very hard for Yuki to open up. He rarely does, and that's why I treasure those moments when he concedes to be vulnerable for just a small time with me. I suppose I've grown on him, since he lets me stay. True, he does kick me out of his office or the whole apartment on a daily basis. But he always lets me back in eventually, and half those times we end up talking about what I did to annoy him so much, and that usually turns into a conversation about why he's mad all the time.
That's the face I love second-most: that tender, sad face after he's just revealed a bit more of his past to me and is wondering if he's regretting it yet. It seems that he never does, because every once in a while a bit more information is revealed; very rarely is it accompanied by tears, but often enough his voice cracks near the end, and he lets me hold him close.
The face I love most is ... is when we make love. Yuki calls it sex, but to me it's just pure, unadulterated love. He lets go when we're in bed. I half expect him to dominate me roughly, but it seems the trauma he suffered when he was sixteen in America has led him to be gentler: he's never hurt me, even unintentionally, when we're in bed. He's always soft and tender, and even in his climax he kisses me. His kisses are not as soft in the throes of passion as they are if we kiss elsewhere, but it seems he's always careful.
It's strange, he also seems somewhat afraid to be hurt himself. But, he knows I was raped too, and he understands that we both share a similar trauma when it comes to sex. It makes him all the more careful.
His third face is the cold, bored face he usually wears whenever we're not in bed or reminiscing. He spits out insults, calling me 'idiot' and 'brat', but while he might actually mean them, I've come to take them as endearments. It's the attitude he utilizes the most, and I'll admit, it helps keep me off him during the day.
His fourth (and more or less last) face is his public face. We're hardly ever together in public, even though he announced on live television that we're lovers, so his only public persona is that of a romance novelist. And the face he uses for that is mostly nonchalant, smiling rarely but always polite. It's a face I don't much care for, but luckily I don't have to see it much.
He's an odd one, he is indeed.
But I love him just the same.
Perhaps ... perhaps even more.
He's an annoying, sugar-high little brat.
Well, of course I don't mean it. He's just ... very enthusiastic about his work, I suppose. But still, he's got two different lives. He's this bouncy little coin with two sides, which share some characteristics but are quite different. Though they manage to get tangled together sometimes.
For a famed novelist, that sure came out clumsy. What a disgrace.
Shindou-kun, and the two faces of the coin that is his life.
There, that's better.
One face is his career side. He's just as enthusiastic, but he's also professional. He takes his work seriously, but not too seriously. He'll enjoy himself as much as possible while still getting the job done. I don't know how Nakano and Fujisaki deal with him, but I'll congratulate them on working with him long enough to release two records, the first of which sold a million in little over two weeks (I'll never forget that date).
When he's onstage, the little brat sings his heart out, and he enjoys himself so much that I can't help but smile if I'm watching his concerts on TV. I hold back if I'm there personally, usually as a guest of Touma's.
The other face ... is just his that: his other face. Whenever he's not working, he's usually bugging me, and when I give in and spend some time with him rather than my laptop (which has been happening increasingly – and disturbingly – often as of late) he'll sit me down on the couch and bury his head in my lap, or under my chin, and just ... cuddle.
Usually I just let him sit there and hold me, and sometimes I'll hold him as well. A while ago we got discussing our various tactics in bed, and the inevitable subject of Shu-chan's rape came up. He's ... he's gotten over it, I think. He seems to think it was nothing, since he'd do anything to protect me, but I don't think he realizes that I too would do anything for him. I almost killed for him.
I'm always careful with him in bed; I'm almost afraid he'll break in my arms. But he's proven to be strong – so very strong. I'm just glad he was strong enough not to turn out like I did – glad he didn't kill that fucking lazy eye. I suppose I'm glad I didn't kill him either. Shu-chan would be horrified.
But this is going in a direction I don't like. I don't like it at all. It's giving me a headache, like the little bugger often does. I do believe I'll stop thinking about him now.
Damnnit, I've got a deadline to meet.