~*After the Beep*~
A fanfic by Setsumi-san
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Quotable quotes: Anna: I'm Anna the Itako: future wife to the Shaman King.
Horohoro: What?! You're gonna be my wife?!- From USA Shonen Jump issue #18
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Setsumi-san: That quote reminded me of the time I took an online quiz at Quizilla to figure out which Shaman King boy was my match and got Horohoro as the answer.
Horohoro: (chokes on the sandwich he was wolfing down) WHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!
Setsumi-san: Sheesh, don't blow a gasket! It was just a fan-made quiz. Besides, I actually got Silva on the first try.
Silva: WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!
Setsumi-san: I said cool it, Silva!! I got you only once, Yoh three times, and Horo for the majority of the tries.
Yoh: (bolts up from his nap) WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!
Setsumi-san: THAT DOES IT!! CUT THE OVERREACTIVE CRAP!!! *chops the wall up with her bloody axe*
All: o_0'''''
Setsumi-san: (pants for a minute) I have had a very, very, very stressful week. I can't keep up this good mood up anymore so you all had BETTER not mess with me. Yoh!
Yoh: *gulp* Yes ma'am?
Setsumi-san: You have two seconds to fetch your attractive mochirei for my own personal glomping pleasures if you don't want Anna to find out about these extra-long daily naps.
Yoh: (takes off like a shot)
Setsumi-san: Horohoro!
Horo: Er, yes?
Setsumi-san: I'm giving you two seconds to find Starfire and divorce her before I send mobs of her angry brick-wielding fanboys after you.
Horo: O_O Zerp! (does the same as Yoh)
Setsumi-san: Silva!
Silva: *whimper*
Setsumi-san: Get your butt into the chapter below and entertain my dear audience!
Silva: But-
Setsumi-san: (raises axe)
Silva: Ahhahaha…very well! ^^'
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/Silva and Karim's Answering Machine/
Silva's voice: Don't bother to call this number. Nobody lives here anymore.
Karim's voice: The check is in the mail. Besides, it was his entire fault.
Silva: My fault?! You never paid your half of the rent for one minute of your stay here or any of the places we leased out!
Karim: Shhh! Hurry up and help me finish packing our suitcases before the owner tracks us down!
#BEEP#
Message 1: *sigh* As chief of the Patch tribe it is my duty to watch out for my people, but I shouldn't have to babysit them. You two aren't halfway dependable enough to be judges for the Shaman Fight. Why should I let you decide who wins and loses if you can't even handle your finances responsibly? Anyone with half a brain knows to bounce a check rather than not pay it at all! Ugh…
#BEEP#
Message 2: Silva, you're simply going to have to accept the fact that you are my descendant. It hurts me so to know you deny that Asakura Hao's bloodlines are flowing through you like Holy Water into an X-law's drinking glass. You may as well put those genes to good use and learn the right way to do everything- my way. Go on; rub your back against the bark of the family tree and use it to scratch away the humans making you itch. Goodbye for now.
#BEEP#
Message 3: Horohoro's voice: (whines) Karim-san, the Oracle Bell won't wooooorrrrkkk! Heeeeellllllpppp meee!!
Pillica's voice: (in the background) Oniichan, it's fine!
Horo: No it's not; this thing is too complicated! He gave it to me, so only he can fix it.
Pillica: The Oracle Bell is easy to operate. Do you remember the rhyme I taught you?
Horo: Umm…no.
Pillica: It goes like this- 'If you push the left button twice
the Main Menu pops up all nice.
Enter in the proper code
to set it in Unfiltered Mode.
Press your thumb down very firmly
so the Bell can scan your i.d.
Select option 7-x
to free yourself from being vexed.
Push all buttons in a pattern.
This is all you need to learn.'
Horo: I only wanted to turn it on.
Pillica: That is how to turn it on.
Horo: EHHH?!?!
#BEEP#
Message 4: Hi Silva, this is Yoh returning your call about needing a temporary place to stay. I don't think they'll let you share my room here at the hospital unless you're really hurt. I'm sorry; I wish I could get out of bed and help you. Then again, it's great being able to lounge around. It doesn't really matter that I get sharp pangs that happen every time I try to move my body more than two inches because I don't have to train. Maybe I should let Anna maul me with yard equipment more often.
Anna's voice: That can be arranged. (loud buzzing noises)
Yoh: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! NOT THE WEED-EATER!!!
Anna: Maybe this will motivate you to be less lazy!
#BEEP#
Message 5: *Mari*: We know that you two are on the lam. Give yourselves up now without a fight and we will let you plea bargain. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say…Why are you two glaring at Mari like that?
*Kanna*: It's a known fact that you do very good prank calls, Marion.
*Macchi*: Yes. Perhaps you're a little too good.
*Mari*: Don't mess around! Stick to the script!
*Macchi*: Kanna and I are not in a joking mood, Marion Phauna.
*Mari*: (a little nervous) Stop it…
*Kanna*: We are supposed to be a team, but all the fans like you best no matter what we do together. I'm afraid we have no room for a glory hog…so Macchi and I need to make you pass on to another realm. Ashcroft!
*Macchi*: Jack!
*Mari*: Mari's not going to meet her end here! Chuck!
(Much clamor can be heard for a few minutes when Mari suddenly lets out a high-pitched scream of pain.)
*Mari*: Ungh…*pant, pant*…N-No…Mari won't have her ending here!
*Kanna*: We're sorry Marion…but we must end the fanfic.
*Mari*: Waaaahhhh!!! Now Mari will get bored again!
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Setsumi-san: (is squeezing Amidamaru in a death grip) Mmm~ I'm in a good mood now. ^_^
Amidamaru: T_T Yoh-dono…
Yoh: T_T I'm sorry Amidamaru, but it was either this or face Anna.
Iron Maiden Jeanne: Was there not a surprise to be revealed at the end of this story?
Setsumi-san: (still squeezing) Mmm~
Jeanne: A-hem!
Setsumi-san: Oh, pardon me. ^^' Yes, there is a special treat for everyone: I will post a sidestory to this fic this Monday.
All: NAAANNNIII?!?!?!
Setsumi-san: Yep, I'm going to write a whole new fic centering on one of the mini plots in this one. Which will it be?! Will we see Horohoro on caffeine high, Yoh-kun running away from Anna's wrath, the Hanagumi making mischief, or Manta and Tamao falling hard for each other? You'll just have to wait until May third!
All: (shudder with dread)
Setsumi-san: By the way, I'm not associated with/don't own Weed-Eaters and don't encourage bouncing of checks. Please review and consider checking out the sidestory coming soon!
~*The End*~