If It Hadn't Been This Way

When the two men came through the front door, Audra had a quick kiss on the cheek for her brother and a longer kiss on the lips for the young man who came in with him. "Did you two have a good day?" she asked.

"Fairly boring," Jarrod said, made his way to the table by the stairs and put his briefcase and hat down there.

"Negotiations over that land deal near Lodi," Clarence Robinson said.

Mrs. Clarence Robinson kissed him again. "Did they go well?"

"Well enough," Jarrod said. "Clarence is going to spend a long day writing up a contract tomorrow. How's Mother doing today?"

"Oh, she's fine," Audra said.

"You worry too much," Victoria said as she came in from the kitchen and kissed her oldest son.

"You took a nasty tumble last week," Jarrod said. "How's that bruise? Nick told me looked like you fell into a vat of ink."

"More yellow and green than purple now," Victoria said, touching the spot on her left cheek that had hit the ground before the rest of her did.

Jarrod could picture it, but he could only remember purple and yellow and green. Totally blind since the explosion that took his sight right before the Cunningham trial, he had put his law practice back together by hiring Clarence as his assistant when he decided, after having to kill Cunningham and complete the prosecution of his henchmen Mason and Corell, that he was going to keep practicing law, somehow. The somehow turned out to be with the bright young man who moved to Stockton out of the blue, became Jarrod's right hand man and then his brother-in-law. Jarrod had escorted his sister down the aisle only six months ago, on what turned out to be one of the happiest days of his life. He didn't trip over anything as he escorted her and then went to his seat. He danced with her and their mother and several of Audra's friends and didn't trip any of them, either. It had been a beautiful evening.

But fairy tales give way to realities. Even though he was able to continue with Clarence's help, even trying cases in court, Jarrod was coming to realize that the young man was going to need more of a practice that was his own. Jarrod made him a full partner and that increased his income, but he couldn't be just an assistant forever. He had to make his own practice, build his own life. Audra was going to have their first child.

Being stuck with a blind partner would only hold Clarence back. Jarrod knew that for a fact, but how was he ever going to find an assistant as good as Clarence had been? Or should he even try? Might it be better if he just turned the entire practice over to Clarence and retired?

But then what? What does a blind man do when he gives up his life's work? How does he build a new life when he's only in his mid-thirties but he can't see a thing?

For now, Jarrod chased the thoughts away and walked to the refreshment table. He knew his way around the house just fine and didn't bump into anything. They had tied a string around the neck of the decanter that held his favorite scotch, so Jarrod had no trouble finding it. "A drink, Clarence?" he asked as he poured some into a glass.

"Not just yet," Clarence said and came into the living room with his arm around his pregnant wife. He sat her down on the settee and sat beside her.

They always left Jarrod's "thinking chair" empty for him, and he made his way there with his glass of scotch and sat down. Once he was safely in place, Victoria sat down in the chair next to it.

Jarrod had been thinking about something that had happened in town, wondering if he should say anything about it. He expected Clarence was watching him, wondering if he was going to bring it up. With the way things seemed to have turned out, Jarrod decided, and he said, "Something else did happen in town today. Cass Hyatt is back."

"Cass Hyatt?" Victoria said with alarm.

"He's out of Quentin," Jarrod said. "The governor pardoned him, and he came home."

"Did you tell Clarence who Cass Hyatt was?" Victoria asked, looking to her son-in-law with a look that said something very dangerous was happening.

"I did," Jarrod said.

"All of it?" Victoria asked.

Clarence said, "He told me he'd put Hyatt in San Quentin seven years ago and Hyatt threatened to kill him if he ever got out. I'm not sure how serious that threat is anymore."

"Hyatt came up to us in the street," Jarrod said. "He laughed when he saw me. He said something along the lines of, 'Don't worry, Barkley, I'd never kill a blind man.'"

Clarence looked at his wife and then his mother-in-law, embarrassed for his partner. "The Sheriff was nearby and heard all this happening," he said.

"I don't think I have anything to worry about as far as Hyatt is concerned," Jarrod said. "I think he was as happy to see me blind as to see me dead, and now he doesn't have to worry about paying for any revenge he might have to exact. He'd just as soon see me fumbling around in the dark as see me six feet under."

There was an edge to Jarrod's words, a bitterness. Jarrod took a hefty drink of his scotch. Victoria wondered if his "you don't have to worry" line was covering up a fear, a vulnerability, an anger that he couldn't defend himself if Hyatt did come after him.

Clarence was still wearing his sidearm, and he quietly touched it. A signal to his wife and mother-in-law that he would look out for Jarrod, as he had been doing. Audra looked both distressed and comforted. Having her husband take her brother's place in the line of fire wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear.

But Jarrod said, "Hyatt won't bother me, I'm sure of it. He's already got his revenge and didn't have to lift a finger. And besides, he knows the sheriff is watching."

"Still, maybe Nick or Heath better stick with you for a few days," Victoria suggested.

"I'll talk to them," Jarrod conceded. And he hated it, being unable to console his family, being unable to take care of himself, being just unable.

Clarence and Audra were not staying for dinner and headed home only a few minutes after Nick and Heath came in from the field. Again, Jarrod was irritated, as he often was, because even though Silas was in the house, Clarence always waited until Nick and Heath were here before he left. As if Jarrod alone couldn't look after his mother. It even bothered Victoria a bit, but even though she took Clarence aside once and assured him he need not stay until her other sons came home, Clarence said, "It's not that I think there's any danger in just you and Jarrod and Silas being here. There isn't, I'm sure of it. I just like being able to report to my dear wife that all her brothers and her mother are safely at home together at the end of the day. Now that she's having a baby, that Mother Hen is pouring right out of her."

Victoria understood that, but she knew Jarrod never would. Besides, on this day, she felt better that Nick and Heath were here before Clarence and Audra left, because Cass Hyatt was around.

"Cass Hyatt?" Nick blurted when Victoria told him as he and Heath came in the front door.

In his thinking chair, Jarrod had no trouble overhearing it and groaned.

"Who's Cass Hyatt?" Heath asked.

"Jarrod put him in San Quentin seven years ago," Nick said, frowning. "Hyatt claimed Jarrod railroaded him to make a name for himself and said he'd kill him if he ever got out."

"He's not gonna kill me," Jarrod said as his family came into the living room with him. "Like I told Mother, Hyatt was perfectly content to see me blind as a bat. Now he can go on with his life and doesn't have to risk going back to prison and he can laugh at me anytime he wants."

"I still think either Nick or Heath ought to stay with you and Clarence in town, at least for a few days," Victoria said.

"No," Jarrod said, contrary to what he'd said earlier about talking to them about it. He was beginning to get angry about being treated like a cripple, even if he was one. "Clarence will keep an eye on me," Jarrod said, "and Hyatt won't be bothering me anyway."

His mother and brothers looked at each other, still worried.

Jarrod knew exactly what they were doing, and he got up and turned toward where he thought Nick was standing. "I'll carry a gun before I'll carry a bodyguard."

"The heck you will!" Nick blurted out, before he noticed Jarrod was beginning to grin.

Jarrod let his anger ease off, saying, "I can be just as absurd as the rest of you. Relax. Hyatt isn't going to hurt me. He's just going to laugh at me."

"And that's not gonna bother you?" Heath said bluntly.

"Under the circumstances, no," Jarrod said, "because if I know Cass Hyatt, he'll get into some other kind of trouble and I'll prosecute him if he does. He's not the only one who can have his revenge."

And to prove something – to prove he could tell Heath was standing right in front of him by the sound of his voice – Jarrod gave him a slap on the arm and walked carefully around him, avoiding any collision with anyone or anything.

"I need to go clean up," Jarrod said, and headed straight for the stairs and up them, without missing a step.

Victoria shrugged. "Barkley stubborn," she said.