I didn't mean to take so long to update this one, and I think what gives me trouble is that it is far angstier than I usually go with my fics. It's also been extremely difficult to work out Loki's offscreen arc from falling from the Bifrost to appearing in the Pegasus lab, but I've had a few ideas lately and I think I've got it all sorted out now.

Anyway, I want to say upfront that this chapter has about two layers of unreliable narrator in it, so don't take it all at face value. Loki's perspective is very warped, and Thanos might be bafflingly wrong all the time, but try telling him that.

Sanctuary: Day 2

The first thing Loki became aware of as he regained consciousness was the sound of Thanos's voice. "Your magic is powerful, Asgardian," said the Titan. Bitter anguish twisted Loki's insides. Expelling the implants had not done enough damage to kill him, then. He opened his eyes. He was back in the room where they'd first brought him, lying on the slab of cold rock. "That is the first time my gifts have been rejected. Do you have some objection to my children healing your wounds, helping you become stronger?"

Loki said nothing. The Titan thought himself benevolent, did he? That Loki ought to feel grateful, indebted, for those things Corvus and Maw had lodged within his flesh?

"But I understand. Nebula told me you begged for death. Instead you met me, and my repairs only take you farther from your goal."

Loki's eyes snapped to his, but still he didn't speak.

"Why would the son of Odin wish for death?"

The silence stretched out between them, and a spark of irritation flickered in Thanos's eyes. "You don't need to speak, but I will have my answers." He looked past Loki at something behind him, and a second later, fingers pressed into the sides of his head. Terror blanked out his thoughts. It was Corona. He hadn't even sensed her drawing near. His mental defenses gave a shudder as she dragged at them. It seemed she enjoyed doing this, as though they were a mildly interesting musical instrument, rather than any true obstacle to her. "He was raised a Prince of Asgard," she said, "but he knows now that he isn't a true child of Odin. He's one of the monsters from a world of ice, cast out to die as an infant by his real father."

"What, then, you found out you had no real claim to the throne, so there was no point living?"

"Yes, it was the throne I wanted," Loki croaked, trying to fight back against Corona's invasion, but he still had no idea how she was getting in. He tried to fill his mind with only images of sabotaging Thor's coronation, holding Gungnir in his hands, and sitting upon Hlidskjalf. Perhaps if he couldn't stop her getting in, he could at least ensure the only information she could access was misleading. Corona's hair-raising laughter sounded inside his head.

"No," she said aloud. "He wanted to defy his blood and prove himself a worthy son of Odin. He did all he could to protect Asgard and to prove his loyalty. He went so far as to murder his true father, Odin's enemy, and nearly destroyed the world where he was born, but Odin still rejected him."

Loki could not bear the humiliation of having his shameful childish desires pulled from him like this. His vision blurred with tears and impotent hatred surged through him.

Thanos made a disparaging sound. "Pathetic boy. I've done battle with Odin, and I find it ironic that those under his rule call him Allfather. I've seen worlds his armies ravaged. He's a warlord. If you weren't born his child, then you could never have been more than a spoil of war to him. All the devotion in the universe couldn't win his affection. He understands little of what it means to be a father."

This account of Odin jarred against what Loki knew, and he was repelled by the implication that Thanos was the superior parent, after what he'd seen of his motley collection of so-called children. Loki had been the problem in his family, not Odin. He had trespassed where he never belonged, presumed rights to more than he could ever deserve, and longed for the impossible. The House of Odin would be better off now that he was gone.

"You will do well here, Loki of Asgard," said Thanos. "I know how to appreciate the talents of children not of my blood, and I know how to reshape their weaknesses into strengths."

"Yes, so that they can become 'tools in your hand,'" said Loki with disdain. Perhaps he could offend Thanos into finishing him off. "No freedom to determine their own paths or even to control their own bodies. You'll forgive me for thinking death the better option."

"Fool. You argue for freedom after it has brought you only misery?" He turned to leave the room. "You'll learn to appreciate what I offer soon enough, and then I will have a task for you."

He departed. Corona, however, did not. Her hooks remained embedded in Loki's mind, seeking out more of his deepest secrets while he was powerless to stop her. Worse, Corvus and Maw came into view, bearing trays of metal instruments. Within moments, the air was full of his screams.

X

When next he woke, he was back in his cell. He could feel the new implants and upgrades they had installed, just like the first set, and his seidr was responding the same way. It would only be moments before he violently expelled them. Was this to be his existence now? How many times would they subject him to this until they realized it would not work? Would there be anything left of his sanity by then?

As before, Gamora arrived to bring him some foul substance he was presumably supposed to eat. She set the bowl and cup down near him and then backed away, but didn't leave. Perhaps she was waiting for the show. "If I attacked you," he said, "would you kill me to defend yourself?"

"You're too weak to be that much of a threat," she said.

"Oh?" As loathsome as the implants were, and as surely as they would soon be scattered around the cell like the first ones, and as much pain as he was in, they had patched him up enough to grant him nearly full mobility. He conjured a dagger into his hand, left a simulacrum in his place, and sprang to press the blade to her throat. It barely touched green skin before she grabbed his wrist and twisted, sending him crashing flat onto his back with enough force to knock the breath out of him.

She looked down at him, arching a silvery, artificial brow. "Like I said." She twirled his dagger around her fingers. "But I'm not so sure you really want to die."

"Have I not proven it already?" said Loki dully.

"You've proven you want someone to kill you, and you keep hoping your wounds will eventually do the job, but if you want to die so much, what's stopping you from doing it yourself?" With two fingers, she threw the dagger so that it embedded itself in the rock an inch from his hand. Tossing her vibrant hair over her shoulder, she strode back out.

He stared at the dagger as the pressure continued to build around each implant. There was nothing stopping him from taking it and driving it through his heart. He knew precisely where and how to strike to prevent any chance of his seidr healing the wound in time to keep him alive. What was so different between that and letting go of Gungnir?

The dagger remained where it was, and he screamed when the implants were expelled, leaving him broken again.

He was a coward.

It was pretty surreal writing Thanos's opinions of Odin's parenting, based on information taken from suicidal Loki's mind and Thanos's own experience from battling Odin thousands of years ago before he had his big change of heart and stopped conquering worlds*. Loki believes that Odin was rejecting him when he said "No, Loki," and that makes perfect sense to Thanos. I, on the other hand, think it was more of a "No, Loki, you didn't have to prove yourself to me." but it's not like there's anyone on Sanctuary to make that case.

*The thing that actually helped me get this chapter written was rewatching Avengers and The Dark World. I noticed that Loki has a few lines that suggest he learned about Odin's reign of terror while he was in Thanos's clutches.

Next chapter will likely be back in the present, but it'll take a couple more flashback chapters to get through the rest of the important Sanctuary stuff.