What's the difference between a guy in the bighouse and the average guy you pass in the street? The guy in the bighouse is a Loser who tried. - Charles Bukowski

~lalaLAlala~

"Daria, is there some reason you weren't home last night?" Helen asked when Daria returned home from school, one carefully plucked eyebrow perfectly arched.

"I was unable to resist the pull of Morpheus yesterday when I was hanging out at Casa Lane," Daria replied flatly. "This is hardly a new occurrence."

"Yes," Helen allowed, "but it's never been without notice before, and the last time I remember you staying over at the Lane's was before you and Trent were going out."

Daria frowned at her mother. "If you insist on taking me to a gynaecologist for an inspection, you and they will find that my virtue is still as intact as it ever was," she stated, an edge in her voice.

"I'm not going to take you to a gynaecologist," Helen protested with a hands raised defensively and a dismissing shake of her head. "I was just concerned, that's all. Though I can't say I'm not relieved to hear it."

"Mph," Daria grunted.

"I'm sorry Daria, but while your father has gotten to know Trent better, what with the squirrel-hunt and staying with the young man while Rita was here... I really haven't," Helen explained, a little helplessly. "And your father doesn't really take note of the sort of things that concern a mother when it comes to the beaus of her daughters."

"Alright, then let me give you a harsh summary," Daria offered. "Trent's oldest sister has five kids, all to different fathers, none of whom she was ever married to. His brother pays two alimony cheques a month and is on his third marriage. Trent has told me that he intends to wait until we've both finished college before he proposes. Furthermore, while he hasn't actually said it, I get the impression that even if I weren't more than tentative about sex, Trent wants to save that sort of intimacy for marriage."

Helen blinked in shock at how serious all of that sounded. It certainly was a harsh summary, just as Daria had promised it would be.

"Does that allay all of your motherly concerns sufficiently?" Daria probed hotly.

"Yes," Helen answered, subdued. "Yes, thank you Daria."

"Good. Please never ask about, pose curious veiled inquiries of, or make implications about this subject ever again."

~lalaLAlala~

What Daria had been doing at Casa Lane was never brought up, but in fact, she had been researching scholarship options with Trent and Jane. Yes, they had some money saved up. No, they did not want to rely entirely on those savings to get them through.

Jane had applied for no less than five art scholarships, while Trent had looked up music scholarships and scholarships for those people who were finally going to college, to try and get their lives on track after not having been able (for whatever reason) to go to college straight from high school. Daria had written out applications to just about every other scholarship that was even remotely applicable to herself that they'd been able to find.

It was buying into The System, which was another way of saying 'sucking up', but it was money, and they were just as entitled to have that money as any other person. Hopefully, they'd be more successful than the other applicants at getting those scholarships though.

Scholarships looked just as good on college applications as extra-curricular activities, something Daria had precious few of, Jane had even fewer of, and Trent couldn't claim at all, as he would be entering college at the age of twenty-three, rather than eighteen.

Daria continued to return to Casa Lane to write out her applications – and help the Lanes with theirs, as they were more artistic people than they were essay-writers. She was more careful to wake herself up sufficiently to return to her parents house each night though, after that first accidental sleep-over. She was a little more sluggish in first period though.

"Hey Daria," Jodie greeted during the break after second period.

"Hey," she answered.

"You doing okay?"

"I appreciate your concern, however, I'm simply filling out scholarship applications, and working on constructing my college applications in an attractive manner," Daria replied.

"Smart," Jodie complimented. "I don't suppose you want another extra-curricular for your college application?" she asked hopefully. "One of the editors of the school paper quit."

Daria sighed in resignation. She didn't really, but this was the year for getting in the extra-curriculars and writing the applications. "What would I have to do?"

"Just check grammar and spelling," Jodie answered quickly.

"If I can do this editing via email, then fine," Daria agreed.

"Thank you so much Daria," Jodie said, a grateful smile all over her face. Only for that mouth to turn down and the lower-lip to be caught between her teeth. "Um..."

"Try the Wizard Foundation Prize," Daria recommended. "Neither of us are likely to get it, since Wizard is both sexist and racist, but there's no harm in trying."

Jodie's smile returned, more sardonic than before, but still appreciative. "Thanks Daria."

~lalaLAlala~

"Dad's offered to write a letter of recommendation for Middleton," Daria stated when she slumped into Trent's car.

"Middleton?" Jane repeated from the back seat, confused.

"His and Mom's Alma Mater," Daria explained. "It's actually where they met."

"Huh, history," Trent noted.

"And a versatile college, even if it doesn't have the reputation of Boston University and its many sub-schools, or quite the desired distance from Lawndale," Daria added, though she was clearly unenthusiastic.

"That's right, your folks took you there as part of the checking-out-colleges part of the college prep-class, didn't they?" Jane recalled. "You made a good bit of cash off the students there."

"And raised the school's grade-average by doing so," Daria remarked dryly. "Dad's latest effort to promote the college was to inform me that they've dropped all requirements, so we can take whatever courses we want."

"That is actually kind of appealing," Jane allowed, then shrugged and shook her head. They all three wanted to get into Boston University before any other option.

"But not necessary, unless we can't take the pressure in Boston," Trent stated firmly.

"We'll make it," Jane declared confidently.

"We will," Daria affirmed lowly. "Now, remind me why we're going to Jodie's graduation party?"

"One," Jane counted off with a chuckle, "because she's our friend. Two, she, Mack and Brittany aren't going to a college in Boston, so we're unlikely to see them again any time soon."

"If we're lucky, then we won't see anyone from Lawndale in Boston, except for each other," Daria quipped.

"It's just one more night with those who's stupidity has so tormented and entertained us lo these many years," Jane reminded her friend with a smile. "A farewell to dopes."

Daria grunted in answer, and turned to watch the street roll past until they reached Jodie's house.

"Hey guys," Jodie greeted with a smile. "Thanks for coming."

"I suppose pulling out a can of pepper-spray right now would be considered bad form?" Daria enquired dully.

"Don't be a party-pooper Daria," Jane scolded with a smirk. "You crave this group dynamic, don't deny it."

"Hi Daria! Hi Jane! Hi Trent!" Brittany greeted with a smile and a wave. "Did you hear back about your college applications yet? I'll be going to State University," she said brightly. "They have one of the best cheer-leading squads in the country, and I got my acceptance letter last week!"

"That's... really great, Brittany," Jane offered weakly.

"I'm also going to be studying film," Brittany added, a bit more seriously.

"That is great," Daria affirmed.

"Yeah," Jodie agreed with a smile. "I'm sure you'll do great, Brittany. I got into Turner," Jodie said, continuing the conversation, "and Mack managed to get a scholarship to Vance."

"That's a good school," Trent noted, impressed. "Uh, both of them," he added, when he realised he'd spoken in the singular, and two colleges had just been named.

"Have you guys heard back yet?" Jodie asked.

"If these two have, then they're keeping it from me, or haven't taken the time to check their mail lately," Daria answered, a tiny bit of peevishness seeping into her tone as she spared a Look for the Lanes. "I got my letter from Boston University today."

"We all did," Jane supplied. "Trent and I have just been so busy looking at ads for housing in Boston that we haven't even gotten around to sharing the good news yet."

"You're all going to Boston University?" Jodie choked out, eyes wide.

"That's definitely what it looks like," Trent agreed with a lazy smile.

"Wow! Congratulations!" Brittany cheered.

~lalaLAlala~

Trent was sitting in the bleachers with Jake, Helen, Quinn and Jeffy, watching the graduation ceremony for his little sister... and his girlfriend. His girlfriend who had just won the Lawndale High Dianne Fossey Award – which, according to Ms Li, was for dazzling academic achievement in the face of near-total misanthropy. Trent didn't think it really fit, but it was still an impressive trophy.

Daria had to be pushed out of her seat by Jane though. She was simply too stunned by the very notion of receiving the award that she couldn't even stand to be presented it without prompting.

"Um... thank you," Daria said when she had crossed the stage and accepted the trophy from Ms Li, only to be gestured towards the podium and microphone.

Clearly, it was being implied she should make a speech.

"I'm not much for public speaking, or much for speaking," Daria started. "Or, come to think of it, much for the public, and I'm not very good at lying. So, let me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks."

Jane in her fold-out chair on the field, and Trent and Jesse on the bleachers, all smirked in agreement.

"If I had to do it all over again, I'd have started advance-placement classes in pre-school so I could go from eighth grade straight to college," Daria continued on the stage.

Helen and Jake both seemed distressed by this, while Quinn and Jeffy were fighting amused smiles of their own.

"However," Daria said. "Given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I'd like to add that if you're lucky enough to have at least one good friend, and a family that cares, it doesn't have to suck quite as much."

Quinn's head fell to rest on Jeffy's shoulder, and a different sort of smile tugged at both of their faces, while the distress of Helen and Jake faded in favour of pride.

"Otherwise, my advice is: stand firm for what you believe in until, and unless, logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, he is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort-of the same thing, ever," Daria resolved, and then she added one last thing. "And there's no aspect, no facet, no moment of life, that can't be improved with pizza. Thank you."

Jeffy gave an approving hoot as the rest of the assembled masses broke out into applause, and Trent's smile grew just a little wider. It really had been a good idea to bring along Daria's video camera and set it to record the whole ceremony, if only for that speech.

A few years later, Amy Barksdale was the one smirking next to her niece's video camera as she taped Daria's graduation from Boston U. Well, Daria's, Jane's, and Trent's graduation, to be more accurate. As she was the relation that lived in Boston, she'd been the go-to for advice on things like housing, insurance, and all of that when the trio had made the move, and she'd gotten to know the Lane siblings fairly well since then. She would not be the least bit ashamed to say that she liked them, and fully approved of Jane as Daria's friend, and Trent as Daria's boyfriend.

She even approved of Jesse when he followed his best friend to Boston, got a job at a music store – sometimes working the floor, helping customers, sometimes teaching kids how to play guitar – and finally asked Jane out on a date. He would have been at the graduation ceremony too, but he hadn't been able to get off work.

The graduation ceremony was also being covered by a couple of minor TV channels, since the trio had already become reasonably successful with their art house while also still in college – and being quite successful at that as well. Val of Val Magazine was there too, partly as a personal friend of the trio, but also partly as a journalist.

Later re-examination of the tapes would show that Trent had lingered long enough to whisper in the ear of the man presenting them with their diplomas, and the man giving a smile, nod, and very firm handshake in response.

The very last thing that happened at that graduation ceremony? Trent and Daria were summoned back onto the stage, and Trent got down on one knee before her.

He had promised, after all, that he would propose when they graduated. Daria hadn't really believed, or even thought for a second, that he meant when they graduated.

Through the shock, Daria choked out a yes, and the whole auditorium went absolutely wild with applause and cheering. Jane's triumphant "Yeah!" could still be heard above everybody else as Trent swept Daria up in his arms and spun her around in joy, and Amy gave a piercing, cheering whistle before she joined in the applause.

Even if it did mean she'd have to wear a formal dress again soon. Daria's wedding would, she was quite sure, be a very different tone to Erin's. If for no other reason than that Jane would happily slip Rita and Helen some of those glitter berries if either of them started to get out of hand.

Both the proposal and the wedding were front page articles on Val.

~The End~