I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way,
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When Sorrow walked with me.

-Robert Browning Hamilton

His eyes burned. His lungs convulsed as he coughed again and again, his screams of protest cut off as he fought to get past the people holding him in place, but his exhausted body failed him. Scorching flames pierced the darkness of the night sky, brilliantly illuminating the normally quiet cobblestoned streets of Soho, now a place full of spectators and frightened residents, fearful for the state of their homes and businesses. Edward didn't care about his home, he no longer cared about Alchemy, but the tears in his eyes that would seem for obvious reasons to an outsider were due to something far worse than the smoke in his eyes or the loss of his livelihood. Winry was still inside.

They'd brought each other to the stars for the second time that night before falling asleep in each others arms, exhausted and drunk on the one thing in their lives that felt good and right: being together. Edward awoke some hours later, sweating profusely and wondering why, given his state of undress and the mere 38 degrees it was outside. Winry stirred beside him and sat up, holding her hair off the back of her neck for the same reason.

"God its sweltering in here. Is something wrong with your heater?" She moaned softly, still waking up. Edward stood and moved to the door, stalling when his hand touched the metal knob; it was unusually warm. A tiny voice rang in his head.

"Get dressed." He said to Winry. He grabbed his black pants from the floor and pulled them on before pulling one of his large, long sleeve shirts from the closet and tossing it her way. "Now. Quickly."

"What's wrong?" Winry pulled on the shirt and found her underwear. She was about to ask if he had some sweats she could borrow since her jumpsuit was reduced to scrap material when Ed opened the attic door and descended the steps.

He swore loudly and Winry ran down after him. It was like walking into an oven.

Edward had kicked and screamed as time slowed down, clawing his way from the street back to the building but to no avail. The firefighters held him back and shouted at him to stop; that they would find her. Edward realized he was watching his life literally go up in flames for the second time. He would suffer the most unimaginable fate yet again. He would sooner die than let her burn in there alone, and he continued to fight against his restraints, almost winning until a third person jumped in and Edward felt strong arms grip around his torso before pulling him backward.

"ED STOP! There's no point!" Havoc screamed as he pulled his friend back before tackling him to the ground. Jean kneeled and grabbed Ed's shoulders in attempts to get through to the most distraught person he'd ever known. "You'll die in there! It's too late!"

Edward was having none of it, and slugged Havoc across the face with his right fist before scrambling to his feet, but before he could start running back toward the blaze he was brought back to the ground by Jean.

"Get the fuck off me, Havoc!"

"Stop! You'll only make it worse if you go back in there! You can't—"

Jeans words were drowned by a deafing blast, and they stopped, heads snapping up to look back at the burning building as the roof —the attic space where Edward had laid with Winry in his arms only minutes before— exploded in a ball of flames and splintered wood before his horrified eyes.

She was still inside.

The alley running behind the building was shared with another row of tenements, only spanning about 10 feet wide and while usually dark, was now bright ablaze from the fiery hell she'd escaped from. Smoke burned her throat, soot smudged her cheeks and she wouldn't have been surprised if some of her hair had burned; she had gotten what she'd turned back for and in her mind, it was worth the risk. Winry stood on the fire escape and clutched Nina's book to her chest; she couldn't let Edward lose the only piece of his daughter he still possessed, not after all he'd been through. Her thoughts were cut short by the immense roar from above and her head shot up to the sight of the roof exploding.

"Oh my god, Edward!" She screamed, having no idea if he'd made it out or not.

The studio was engulfed in flames, and she'd raced along with Ed toward the front door, trying not to inhale smoke as it burned her eyes and the heat nearly scorched her skin. They reached the door and barreled through it as a firefighter was coming up the stairs, and Winry suddenly stopped as her heart contracted in her chest. Without a word to Edward she spun on her heel and raced back up the steps and through the door, into the inferno again. She didn't see Edward turn to run after her, she didn't see the firefighter wrestling him out the door amidst Edward's shouts of protests, insisting he go back for her. Winry's only thought was of getting the book from upstairs. Fear sliced through her when the beams in the studio ceiling began collapsing behind her, blocking her ability to reach the front door. Her lungs burned as she breathed the blistering air, and ran back up to the loft before wrenching open the old window and climbing out. The 10 foot drop to the fire escape below sent spiking pain through her ankle, and would have stranded her if it were not for the supportive arm of Roy Mustang wrapping over her shoulders.

"We need to go!" He shouted over the noise of fire and sirens, and Winry climbed on his back so they could descend the fire escape to the ground before heading down the long ally and out to the street before the entire building came down. She was insanely lucky that Roy had the sense to come sprinting down the ally himself instead of waiting for a firefighter; he was already halfway up the fire escape when he saw her drop from the window. Without Mustang's help, Winry would have been trapped two flights up and left to either burn, or break her legs from jumping and then die from the building coming down on top of her.

"How did you know I was up there?" She yelled over the noise. Mustang looked back at her over his shoulder as he gripped under her knees and continued toward the street.

"Your tracer I gave you, it was turned back on a few hours ago and I saw online that it was still active a few minutes ago. I prayed that if the tracer survived the fire, maybe you might still be with it."

"I'd be dead if it weren't for you."

"If I'd waited any longer to come find you we both might be. That explosion was likely caused by all the chemicals in the shop. We need to get out front and find Edward, his tracer was still active last time I checked."

Roy breathed heavy when they reached the ally's end and emerged onto the street. The area was a chaotic mess of civilians and the police who were trying to keep them out of the way while firefighters set to work to bring down the blaze before it destroyed the rest of the tenement buildings. Winry and Roy both scanned the area, looking frantically for Edward. It was his howls of anguish rising above the surrounding noise that sent Winry's heart surging through her chest.

"No! NO!" Ed screamed. He made no attempt to hide his tears as he raked his hands into his hair. The blue eyes blurring and refocusing in his memory danced back and forth between that of Winry and of Nina until they were no longer any different. He would be sick if he weren't so stunned, and Havoc could do nothing but look on horrified -the pit of despair in his stomach only hollowing further as he watched the tears flow freely down Edward's face. The sobs would only be interrupted by Ed's deep-chested coughs -a telltale sign of the smoke he'd breathed in to match the black smears all over his sweating skin. Oxygen fought hard toward his lungs with only little success but Edward hardly cared —his mind lashing him over and over with the thoughts of her, how she screamed his name under the heat of his touches only to scream for him again as she lay burning alone —crushed under the weight of the fiery rubble. There would be no quelling his sobs, each forceful drag of air only fueling his next tortuous cry. Concerned voices of the EMTs went unnoticed as they asked questions to test his cognizance. He could only stare ahead, the roaring flames climbing higher to whip against the black sky and devastating everything in his life. His business gone, his home burned yet again, his every possession was reduced to ash as he hung his head and ignored the throbbing in his every muscle; the strain of fighting to get to her finally caught up to him and rendered Edward listless as he knelt in the glow of death before him. Havoc knelt next to him, waving away the EMTs for the moment. He didn't know what to do, and though he had never been a religious man, the only words that could rise from him were the Lord's Prayer that his mother had spoken to him as a child —for what could he say to alleviate his friend's suffering? Jean's knees met the concrete next to Edward and he squeezed his shoulder supportively, his own tears threatening to fall for the unimaginable suffering his friend had endured in life, and for the knowledge that after this, Ed likely would not live. Jean wasn't stupid —his optimism for Edward and Winry's budding romance was neither blind nor foolish, and his heart broke not only for the woman but for the happy future that had fallen just shy of Edward's reach for the second time in his life.

Ed's tears continued to stream as his hollowed gaze remained on the fire, and the weight of his truth crushed down on him. Jean bowed his head.

"…Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name—"

"—I was afraid."

Ed's anger and misery found no hiding place in his voice —to powerful to be hidden by much of anything, not that Edward would try. He had no reason to hide how he felt anymore, and his conscience crippled him with this admission. Jean looked on, treading carefully.

"Ed?"

"I-I never…. I never said what I should have." Ed gasped, raking blackened fingers through stringy hair, streaking it with soot. "And now I never can."

Jean's heart plummeted again, for he had seen the signs.

"She never knew…" Ed ground out. "…because I couldn't admit it to myself! I was too goddamn stubborn!"

"Winry must've known." Jean pressed, his hope that Ed would listen to reason hung precariously, fully expecting to fall. "She had to have known how much you cared."

"That's not it!" Ed pushed through another sob as the front bricks of the building tumbled inward into the scorching hell. His burning eyes swam, obscuring any detail into a blurred abyss of light and dark before him. His heavy breathing shook, his tears spilled again, and he looked at Jean.

"…I never told her how much I love her."

Jean knew then that his friend would never live past this, wether it be loss of mind or death by his own hand, Edward had finally started to heal and had given his guarded heart only to have his love destroyed by fate's cruel clutches yet again. Edward's head fell in his hands as he howled openly, and Jean bowed his head once more and drew a shaky breath.

"…Our Father …who art in heaven ….hallowed be thy name." Jean looked up and blinked rapidly through watery eyes to expel the stinging of the smoke as he continued, speaking low and slowly over the anguished cries of his suffering comrade. "Thy kingdom come… thy will be done… as…."

Jean trailed off as his eyes scanned the crowded street around them and stopped at the gleam of light off buttery blonde hair. He would've told himself he was imagining things, if it weren't for the hollering of Commissioner Roy Mustang -his commander while at war- shouting for his attention once their eyes connected. Words died on paralyzed vocal chords as Mustang worked his way past the crowd and through hazy air, finally coming into Jean's full focus as he realized that bright blue eyes pierced the orange glow around them before being obscured by his own tears. Roy eased Winry from his back instantly for her to carefully stand, favoring her body weight to one side so as to not further injure her ankle, and her own tears spilled of relief only to be replaced with crushing guilt at the sight of Edward. Too stunned to form words, Jean fought to shake Ed's shoulders and raise his head from his hands to no avail; Edward couldn't be reached through his devastation until a broken sob cut through the fury.

"Edward!"

Time slowed. Ed's breath seized in his chest, knowing what he'd heard but not allowing himself to believe until Winry's small gasps and sobs filled his ears, and when gold eyes met blue he no longer controlled his own body. He didn't feel his sore muscles power himself up, had no awareness of himself surging toward her, and the world around them fell away; the crowds, the flames, the wailing sirens, gone to suspend them in beautiful silence as he found themselves wrapped in each other, the force of the collision bringing them to their knees. Hearts hammering, eyes glassy and exhausted, and they cried harder than they knew they could.

"What were you thinking?!" He hollered at her once his voice found purchase in his throat again. Winry couldn't stop crying, she simply pressed the book to his bare chest as her tears poured and Edward gaped at her, horrified.

"You… you STUPID…." He grabbed her face in his hands and cried, "You fucking idiot!"

Winry could do nothing but cry, hating herself for what she'd reduced him to, yet never regretting her decision to go back. Edward ignored the book, his attention fully devoted to screaming at her.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU… I CAN'T…." He pulled her into his arms and sobbed. "…I love you, Winry…"

Spring settles over New York carefully. It tiptoes over winter without prior notice to quietly take it's place while no ones looking, and then one day city dwellers step outside and pause mid-stride in awe of the awakening beauty. The city breathes out a long-held sigh. Winter is over; spring brings new life and with it, new beginnings.

Never had this been more true than for Edward and Winry.

Frank Archer was arrested at the scene of the fire he'd started, too mechanically damaged from the fight with Edward to get away in a hurry, and too obsessed with seeing Winry and Ed die to walk away from his work. It was Mustang's digging into Archer's prison history that revealed the factory injury that warranted Frank receiving automail, although who had given Archer such a horrifying alteration was still a question that Roy intended to have Frank answer. When he connected the dots between Archer and the 'monster', he'd operated on a gut hunch that led him to Edward's burning building.

The building was a total loss, reduced to bricks with nothing left to salvage. Sheska, Greed, Envy and Havoc all dispersed to other shops and side jobs in efforts to keep working, while Edward stayed in Winry's apartment and spent long hours on the phone with his landlord and the insurance company. The hard-wired fire detectors in the studio were faulty, something Edward had no knowledge of and his landlord faced serious fines for.

The nights were quiet. Ed and Winry would lie on her mattress together, both struggling to sleep peacefully as their minds tried to process what they'd been through, and how close they'd come to losing everything. A new leaf would turn for them only a few days later, when Ed was summoned to a lawyer's office and was met with the somber faces of Noah's parents. The months following their daughter's overdose had been more than words could convey, and the news of Edward's latest loss prompted them to reach out with news.

"Noah had life insurance." Her mother told him. "It was left to us along with her remaining assets and we used some of it to cover the funeral costs. We want you to have the rest."

Edward sat in shocked silence. He'd never had bad blood with his former in-laws, but they'd mostly lost touch after the divorce and Nina's death. Staying in each others lives had become to painful.

"You've never had the chance to start over, not the way you should." Noah's father said. He shook Edward's hand firmly and Noah's mother hugged him. "You deserve that chance."

"Will you miss being near here?" Winry asked. She sat on the hard-packed ground with Edward at her side as she pulled weeds from around Nina's gravestone. Edward considered her question for a moment before a small smile curved the corner of his mouth.

"I think it's time for a change. Time to break away." He said. He'd visited Nina's grave everyday since the fire at Alchemy, trying to make up for the time he'd missed. "I'll still come back once a week, but I need a little distance from the last few months."

Winry nodded as she placed the daisies she'd brought at Nina's stone and they stood to leave. The warm sun settled on Winry's exposed skin —the sundress she wore featured the open back she'd dreamed of— and Edward smiled at the sight of his work, the tattoo that healed her and brought them together.

"What are you grinning about?" She smirked, catching Edward by surprise as she took his hand.

"I'm just wondering who did your amazing back piece. He must be the greatest artist in the city or something."

The exited the churchyard and walked south toward Tribeca.

"He's pretty great," Winry played. "I heard he's opening a new studio downtown. Maybe I'll go in for another piece."

They stopped on a quiet corner while waiting for the walk signal and Edward turned to face her.

"Where will you get it? Here?" He planted a soft kiss on her shoulder, "Or maybe here?"

He moved and pressed his mouth just below her ear, and felt her smile as her arms slid around his neck.

"Maybe you can help me decide when we get home."

Edward's mouth brushed over hers,

"Think of the possibilities."

A/N: There are not enough ways for me to thank you all for your patience and dedication to me and to this story. This was a struggle. The past year has been an immense struggle I did not see coming but you've been here with kind words, pushing me forward with your encouragement and it's been beautiful. This story was so difficult to write but I'm extremely proud of it all the same, and I'm glad to have pushed myself as a writer and experienced something new.

As for my next story, its in development and I'm so so excited to share it with you all. As the old saying goes, 'write what you know'. Well, for the better part of a year I've become acquainted with some crushing blows, and they will be heavily drawn from for inspiration in my next story. It will be dark, but it will be beautiful and it will be worth it.

Until then, thank you all, and see you soon.

.C