Great story. Reminds me of "The Scarecrow and Mrs. King" - how they used to get into tight spots trying to spy on a bad someone - and wound up in trouble, only to get out and have to hide how much they loved each other.
Thank you for sharing.

So the old people are… Wait… I can’t… Figures.

Okay, I am widely confused and I’ve gone back and checked. It ends with the Hamilton’s dragging Kristin and Nathan out of their rooms, but then it opens with the Addam’s Family. *Snap, snap* I didn’t make the connection there. How did that happen? Where did the Hamilton’s go? I’m confused.

The basement was cracking me up. I love the rat squeak and stuff.

OH MY GOD! I SHOULD HAVE SEEN HAROLD!

I said. I said. I said. They shouldn’t be discussing things in their room. I told them so.

This makes me mad on a number of levels and I can’t say why. I wonder why they weren’t more vigilant. Why didn’t they take these things into account? I like that Nathan told them to let the hostages go, but then I was mad he didn’t fight. IDK. I’m a bit flustered about everything going on right now and I can’t formulate words. Maybe if they just sit down to a nice breakfast they can talk everything over. Food always helps.

Is this all a set up? Like, to get them to talk? Or something…

What is going on? I feel like I’m all over the place in this chapter. Nathan, why would you? And he kissed her. He kissed her. What? Why would you wait until now? You should have said something sooner.

I’m so glad Morticia is there for moral support. He’ll heal. Thank you for those kind words. You are a saint. *Rolls eyes*

Wait, what happened to the Addam’s Family? *Snap, snap* Did they get taken in? Or are they allowed to walk around free? What?

Is he hinting that she broke his nose on one occasion? Please say yes. That would be the best one shot ever. She accidently does it. That should be your plot bunny.

Wait, so how long were they there for? And I think I don’t remember the beginning because I thought it was going to connect to that fight they had. But I think if I knew how long they were there for it might patch that up.

I thought this was cute. I almost felt like the ending was rushed. Over all, it made me laugh and smile. I liked it.

I like the cutesy bit at the beginning about remembering how to eat. I’m interested to see how it goes with other couples. Is it wrong that I want this to end with them together?

Why are the couples eating at separate tables? I don’t see that as a couples retreat. Uh oh. I smell trouble. Especially with the Addams family host. It’s making me laugh about picturing Gomez and Morticia. It’s awesome. Where’s Wednesday? And Thing is going through their luggage.

Couples eat separate. I… Well now… Okay. These people are weird. Why can’t they eat as a group?

Do people have frequent flier miles at Cupid’s Paradise? Is there a punch card that Kristin and Nathan are going to get? Why would you need couple’s therapy frequently? Shouldn’t the place help out? Perhaps not…

I don’t know that she’ll forget there were troubles. I mean, some women have a decade there. What’s Blanchard up to. Hmmm….

I didn’t get the feeling that Morticia was in love with Xavier. However, maybe they’re in cohorts with Xavier. OMG. Watch it be Anna and her husband. They’re probably the culprits. Lol.

Aren’t Nathan and Kristin worried that they have a room that’s bugged?

Why don’t they share the bed? If anyone stops by, it makes sense to be in the bed. Okay, well, I didn’t see the old people coming in but I’m still not sure that they’re really the culprits. I think something else is going on. And this chapter was a lot shorter than I thought. What? Where’s the rest?

Sorry for the delay. Real life had some complications that I had to handle first. heh.

Since Justice is a story that I’d prefer to read on my own time, I decided Cupid would be a good story to use for RT.

Still fandom blind.

This first chapter was so very interesting. Being fandom blind, I wasn’t lost or anything and was able to stay caught up with you. I have always been a fan of “faux-married couple” storylines on tv and books. I like how you handled the characterizations of everyone involved.

Awesome job, and below are my thoughts as I reading the story:

"How in the world could you say those things about me?" - I love this opening line. This is never a good thing for someone’s wife to say. Immediately, I’m intrigued in why she says this...

I think you're blowing things out of proportion a bit," Nathan replied.- Despite never having been married, but I’ve been in enough relationships in school and also having a mother and sister, I’ve learned the above line is never a smart answer.

By excusing himself, more than likely he’s going to cause Kristin to be even angrier.

"Oh, really? So you don't think I'm cold-hearted, self-absorbed, stubborn bull?" - Oh wow, those are some messed up things to say. No wonder she’s upset. Poor girl.

You've forgotten we're supposed to be here to work on our marriage. That can't happen if you won't say anything to the therapist." - Yeah, this is true, but he’d probably been smarter choosing his words better, Still, if things were going to be worked out, he’s right to a certain degree.

Her anger faded as her voice grew quiet. "So…so you really think I'm cold-hearted and stubborn?" - I really like this line here... it’s kinda saddening to think about, to realize that someone’s words that you consider hurtful about you to be not a “lie” meant to hurt you. I feel bad for Kristin.

"Stubborn, of course; you know you are. But I didn't say you were cold-hearted. I said you could act very cold-hearted," Nathan corrected. - He could use a bit more tact, but there’s a huge difference in what she heard and what was said, eh? ..

Just a slight nitpick (and really not one): I think the line could be stronger- maybe if you showed a bit more of Nathan’s physical reaction to her words rather than just saying “he corrected.” Maybe you can show a little more of his body posture or maybe how he looked at Kristen in saying that line...

Maybe you could say:

“Stubborn,” he looked at his wife, sternly, “of course.” Nathan smiled and touched her shoulder gently then continued by saying, “But I didn’t say you were cold-hearted.” His voice became gentle and his eyes softened, “I did say, however, you could act very cold-hearted.”

"I don't see the difference," she said with a shake of her head. - The line is a bit passive. If you get rid of “with a shake of her head” and replace it with: “(comma) shaking her head.”... I think you’ll find it a bit stronger.

"Ha! If that isn't the biggest lie I've ever heard." She pulled her ring off and threw it at him. "There, now you don't need to worry about being married to me." She then walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her and being sure to lock it. - This is a powerful and angry moment. However, the writing is passive and doesn’t show the emotion very well here..

I think adding a bit more physical descriptives would help this line.

Maybe you can say:

Kristin’s eyes flashed angrily. If looks could kill, Nathan would’ve died nine times over. “Ha!” Her voice cracked in her anger. “If that isn’t the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.” Face red and her heart racing, Kristin ripped the ring off her finger and flung it at him. “There! Now you don’t need to worry about being married to me.” She scathed.I enjoy

She picked it up and slipped it back on and let out another sigh. She knew it wasn't Nathan's fault exactly, but things had gone from bad to worse so quickly. If she had known what was going to happen, she'd never have agreed to this. But it had seemed like such a wonderful idea at the time… - Very nice way to end the first scene.

Scene One’s Overall Thoughts:

I love the idea of what’s going on. A broken couple going through a hard time and trying and failing to talk it out after a therapy session. That’s why it’s often smart for the husband and wife to go to therapy separately. heh.

I enjoy watching couples struggle. It brings realism to a couple.
There are moments in your writing where you can add a little bit more action and descriptions to bring it more to life...

Your writing, however, keep my interest piqued the entire time.

"Just call Dr. Westphalen in here, and it will make sense soon," Bill said. - I have a feeling that Bill is playing cupid. lol. I love it.

"And how exactly do we do that?" Nathan asked. "Pretend to be married?" - Lol... Never give away plans, Nathan.. has he never seen a good romance novel or sitcom.

"Now just a moment," Kristin protested. "What gives you the right to say what I do or don't-" - lol, I love Kristin getting all snappy. haha... I do think “snapped” would be better word here than “protested.” Again, a showing of actions would work wonders here... like putting her hands on her hips in annoyance... Still, I love this line.

"On the contrary, Captain, I'm happy to help." - So, it just occurred to me that it was a fake marriage therapy session that got her so upset in the beginning. lol... that is brilliant.

"Of course. Why? Are you afraid of being fake married to me?" She gave his arm a gentle push. - This is so cute. It made me smile. haha.

She shrugged. "You seemed like you were being sincere…" - This is so cute... I really like these two.. poor Kristin got her feelings hurt.

I seriously doubt Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton are suspects." Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton were the neighbors from across the hall and were both in their eighties. - Lol.. this line made me chuckle. haha... they, of course, could be the master culprit.

Nathan sighed. "We'll just see which of us is more tired later, okay? Now, go get changed, Mrs. Murphy." - This is an interested ending. I’m really excited to see how this will end up.

Thank you for writing this,
It was amazingly fun,
Until Next Time,
Neo

Fandom blind.

Alright and interesting first chapter, certainly something that could easily entice one into reading more. You did a good job with the cold open and I imagine it's doubly rewarding for people who are in the fandom and probably wondering when Nathan and Kristin got married and why their marriage had devolved to the point of needing therapy.

There were a few places where I had trouble with my willing suspension of disbelief. First, the admiral choosing Nathan and Kristin for this mission. Nathan's the captain as I understand it, so he'd have some of the most important responsibilities on the ship and probably the highest profile, so why choose him to go on a clandestine couple's retreat? All of his on ship duties would have to be dumped on someone else and of everyone on the ship, he seems like the most likely to associated with the UEO, an organization with the apparent authority to investigate (and presumably prosecute) the same arms dealing that Nathan is trying to covertly find out about. Then there's Kristin, who not only is a civilian but also immediately blew up at Nathan for saying he had problems with her...to a therapist...who they are trying to trick...by pretending to have problems with each other. Seriously, if she, in the midst of her anger, had phrased her rant a little differently and the wrong person were listening, they could both be dead. Admiral, sir, there is surely a better operative to send on this mission. In fact, why isn't this organization that seems to have the legitimacy to investigate crimes not using actual, trained undercovers instead of two people that happen to work for/with them?

Another thing I'm having trouble swallowing is Blanchard's gunrunning organization, such as we know about it now. Noyce says that they've been watching them, etc., etc., and know how they operate, which is why they know Kris and Nathan will be fine wearing wires. If any criminal organization lets anyone, especially someone new, near guns or drugs or anything like that without searching for a wire, then they need to go ahead and give up the crime game. If anyone in the organization is talking about guns near enough for customers at their front to hear, again, they need to do some self-assessment and realize that crime is not for them. And if the Blanchard machine is that careless and the UEO knows they're that careless, then they should already have evidence on them without needing to send untrained operatives in to sniff around.

Other than some problems with how realistic the premise is, this is a pretty solid chapter. Opens up a lot of room for intrigue (both personal and otherwise) and just plain makes you want to find out what happens next.

Nitpicks:
"So you don't think I'm cold-hearted, self-absorbed, stubborn bull?": It seems like you need an article after "I'm" here.

"Crocker announced as Admiral Noyce...": I'd call him "Admiral Bill Noyce" here, since you start referring to him outside of dialogue as Bill, but don't actually say anywhere that Bill is his first (I assume) name.

"...sleep on the couch, you know?": Is she asking him or telling? From context it seems like she's making a declarative statement that she never said he had to sleep on the couch. And yet that question marks sits there. Staring at us. Daring us to question it. Well I have, you rogue question mark, I have.

That was good. Though I found it a bit rushed.

Blanchard’s reveal….i was thinking he might be lurking around, but well, I was not expecting THAT. You had me totally fooled there….clever disguise. Love Doug’s indignation and Blanchard reminding him he didn’t bother reading the fine print.

Okay, what idiot gave Kristin a wire stamped with the UEO logo? :facepalm: Did they not even think for one second about how that could be found out? (Yes she took it off, and that is how they found it—but it could have easily been discovered other ways, like a forced strip-search….and yea. If they’d given her an unmarked one, then it would have been easy to make up a story like they were reporters or something.)

:goggle: Estelle is Blanchard’s mother? Okay that’s just creepy right there, lol.

Ack, poor Nathan—taking that awful beating and Kristin having to listen to it. Rather surprised that Clarissa was being sympathetic, tho personally I think she’s just pretending sympathy. Glad the cavalry showed up quick-like tho!

I had to laugh at everyone being all “oh he’ll heal/give it time” to try to placate Kristin’s worry. (Broken nose and three ribs? Um, OW.) And I love the sweet scene at the end in medbay.

["If I hadn't, we'd both be lying in medbay." He brought a hand to her cheek. "I couldn't bear seeing you hurt."] – d’aww :sigh:

Wonderful way to end this story. Loved it :)

SPAG bit I spotted:
[She put moved his hand to give it a kiss.] – extra word snuck in there when you weren’t looking ;)

Woohooo last chapter! *dances*

Something about Kristin's actions and thoughts in the first part of the chapter really spoke to me... I'm not sure what it was about it, but she felt so vulnerable and... the only other word that comes to mind is "female" but I feel like that has a negative connotation, even if that's not what I'm looking to say. She just seems so real there as she's trying to figure out what's going on and what to do. Between that and Estelle not letter her and Nathan be together at that point... she's going through a lot. Feel like I'm just rambling here, but it just had so much to offer... Darn you, when you manage to reduce me to incoherent babbling. :p

"...fate awaited them." Think you want a question mark at the end here.

"...the rats away," Ewww... wouldn't bet on that.

"...noticed is how agile..." Bit of a tense change...

"...what appeared to be..." Speaking of eww... that kind of scene can have so much impact, especially if the mask was well done in the first place. You just don't see that kind of thing coming. For a man like that to be hiding in plain sight... veeerry tricksky!

"Very fine print," Very fine print indeed. Speaking of tricksy...

Mmmm, I love it when Nathan goes all UEO official and protective. Delish. :D

"Mother, will you..." Okay, for some reason, that is just beyond creepy that he's getting his MOTHER to do all the dirty work for him... wonder what he had to say to get her to do that. ;P

"... going to be fine..." D'aww! Lots of feelz! Gotta listen to Nathan this time around, Kristin. He's got it aaaalll figured out. I love the relationship between the two of them here... perhaps the retreat has gone more successful than they might have thought!

"...instantly regretted..." LOL, I can kind of see how that might be... we've got a plan... right?

"...heal with time." Emmm... not sure how that's going to be all that comforting when you can still hear him screaming in the other room. Still, I guess it's true... I love the way that you portray her worrying right here. They've really got themselves into a mess this time, haven't they... ooooooh man. Not good.

"...take them on?" Well, if he does, he's even more stupid than I previously thought... brave, but incredibly dim...

"...way too much" Heh, now that's the truth...

" he'd heal" Such a missed opportunity for further Nathan!angst! /shot But seriously, ouch. That does not look good, and he definitely put himself through an awful lot for her... she would have left in a much worse state if she'd ignored him in the first place. Soo many shipping feelz. Aaaalll the lovely feelz.

"...won't heal from" OMG, you too, Ford? XD

"I'm fine, really." Lol, half expected her to swat at him after hearing yet again that he's "fine" XD

D'awww! Just such an absolutely adorable ending! I'm so glad you wrote this one. I loved it so much. Thank youu!

Cheers, dearie!

Nicely written chapter.
I can hear Nathan and Kristie in my head.
Nans

Aww. Sweet ending. Cavalry arrives. Capture the bad guys. Bring home the wounded. Sweet interchange between N&K. Everyone will heal. What more could we ask?

great chapter! I love Nathan being so prtective of Kristin. It was so sweet!

Mrs. Hamilton then showed up from behind him, yielding a rife. [ I am guessing you mean WIELDING a RIFLE, yes? LOL Some good typos there.]

Nice little chapter. I remember once going on a retreat and being SO happy to finally have some social time with adults only to be told that they were going to go all monk-life on us and forbade talking for the first 24 hours. If I wanted to stay home and not talk to anyone, why the heck would I pay money to go on a retreat? This eating apart thing reminded me so much of that failed retreat of mine.

Looks like N&K found the bad guys though. Now if they can just keep from dying...

Ah, and the mental image of Nathan Bridger gushing at his fake wife should set me in just the right mood for the rest of the day. *kicks back*

"She nodded." Lol, I can totally imagine her giving him quiiite the look there. Married to Ben? Kristin? That's definitely a crackfic waiting to happen. I really must stop picking out all these potential other plot lines in all your fics... you'll never get your current projects finished if I keep teasing you with all these ideas! XD /shot

"...and you know it" Oooh, Nathan's in a bit of a feisty mood at the moment, I see. Goodness gracious me!

"...will be fine..." LOL, we all certainly hope so. Quite an interesting colony this is, with all these regulations about when the couples are together and when they are apart. I have to wonder what the motivations really are behind it, or maybe it is as simple as it seems... hard to tell. But I get the feeling that something's up around here. Maybe a chance to socialize with the others will give them a chance to get a few pieces of this into place. Kristin's certainly not happy about it, and who can blame her? Yikes.

"I understand." Good. Cuz I don't. :P This whole thing is completely bizarre, as are the people who seem to be a part of this. Seem... oddly cheerful, and not just because of the environment that they're in. I do have to wonder about the whole Blanchard hardly ever being around this. Sure, he's a busy man, but... eeh. Just can't wrap my brain around here. I do wonder if Kristin's right and they'll be at this colony much longer than they might have wanted . Not to mention what it'll actually do for the relationship between Nathan and Kristin towards the end... XD

"... cosmically connect..." Hehehehe, I'll bet Nathan thought it would be tons of fun too!

"...quiet time to..." Nooo! You should try to cosmically connect, and then you can be the first Wendy and yesh! XD

Awww... I really like the gentleman factor of Nathan not having any nonsense about the sleeping arrangements. They both need their rest. And they're both adults. And we has plenty of time for nonsense later. XD /killed

Emmmm... Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton? Eeeeverything okay? That was... unexpected. O_O

Looking forward to the next chapter! Well done!

Cheers, dearie!

Yay, second chapter! (Sorry I am late reviewing this...I blame school. Semester can end now! :P Eesh.)

Dinner date! Well, sorta, since they will be talking to the others, but still. Or maybe not, since it seems like the guys and girls are separated. Seems rather odd for a place that is catering to couples exclusively.

I got a good snicker out of your description of the Addams-lookalike couple. And this: [Kristin half-expected a disembodied hand to come walking along the floor at any moment.] – I just choked on my water/had to clean off my monitor...thanks a lot, ROFL.

Clarissa's explanation—makes almost noooo sense to me. The part that "forgetting that other people exist outside of the relationship" is the only part that does. (Know too many people in RL who get overabsorbed in their relationships and ignore their friends in the process...ridiculous.) But the rest? Especially at a couples' retreat? Um what? Does not compute. And I don't like that she's so forceful with separating Kristin from Nathan either.

Blanchard is hardly ever around? One more notch up the suspicious meter. [Only the very lucky have that privilege] – uh-huh and how does that happen, Clarissa?

I am not sure what to think of the other women...any of their behavior could be an act.

That last scene I was loving (argument fast settled, Nathan being all sweet, etc) until you threw the twist in. Now I love it even more. And then you left it there?! WTF?! LOL! Love it and I can't wait for more obviously. :) great update, dear :)

Minor correction I noticed:
You name Clarissa's other half/partner as Henry when they're introduced, but call him Harold later.

You know I love this story, so I hope we don't have to wait too long :) it's really getting cranked up now! I can't wait to see what to happens...but did he HAVE to burst in just at that particular moment?! Lol.