This is the second Tom/Minerva story I’ve seen so obviously it’s more of a thing than I realized. I’m not sure when it became popular, but even though it’s crack (since they actually didn’t attend at the same time) it seems pretty neat. We don’t know when Dorcus attended either, since so little info was given on her. So she’s a great tool to use in fanfiction.

I love this story idea. I love seeing youngsters way back when trying to save the day, Marauders and Dumbledore Army, style. The idea that adults are stupid and don’t know what they’re doing is something every generation goes through.

{ Dorcas relented; even though Tom Riddle acting cute couldn't sway her, she knew they had very little time to operate before the evidence was gone.} Good to see someone else resisting Riddle’s charms.

The “poetry” that speculates on Dumbledore’s romantic preferences was PERFECT. I like how you note that even when Tom is being affectionate with Minerva his eyes show no emotion. Voldy cannot love. Apparently he’s decent at faking it, but he truly doesn’t feel anything.

I liked Tom using a fake creature in order to distract Dorcus- say anything with enough confidence and anyone will believe it to be true.

I can tell this is meant to be a prequel. I feel like the majority of the point was how Tom got Dorcas’ pocketwatch. And how Dorcas came to believe the Chamber of Secrets was in a bathroom and not trust Tom. It’s very much a set up for another story. I think other stories I’ve read about Dorcus have paired her with Sirius. I love that you don’t use her as just some love interest, but as someone who seriously threatened Voldy with her intelligence and conclusions. That makes sense why he would personally kill her. I can imagine that the followup story would follow her adventures during the First Wizarding War and ultimately lead to her death and I really want to read it now. :)

Hi, SiriuslyPeeved! Rhino here –hugs- I am completely fandom blind in regards to this story, so please forgive me if I get anything wrong )
“he couldn’t be dislodged without a Severing Charm” was a very clever turn of phrase. Even without knowing exactly what that is, I immediately get the picture of an ingratiating cad. Reading on, my assumptions seem to be true. He ‘insulted’ the Hufflepuffs’, ‘whispered’ a spell, and had a ‘smirk’ and a ‘negligent hand’. It also seems that he picks friends who are of a like mind. Mulciber feeling up Dorcas on the way to a murder investigation? What a creep!
I love the flashes of humour attributed to Dorcas. Being a head girl she appears very prim and proper, yet she comes out with gems like “Exams are over…there’s ever so much to do in the library.” The innuendo was priceless, especially considering the setting of a boarding school and the time of the 1940s.
“I want Hogwarts to be peaceful” was such an ambiguous statement. It didn’t put Tom squarely on one side or the other and set him up well to be an obvious suspect at the end of the story. I didn’t believe his ‘reticulated fantail’ story at all, and was seriously irked at Minerva for interrupting them. I seriously fear for her safety at her boyfriend’s hand.

Hiya there! I’m kind of canon blind, but I have seen the movies.

Very interesting idea of having a side story after Myrtle’s death. I’ve always been curious of what happened after she died. I love the suspense you are building in the scenes. It makes me want to read more and more after every sentence!

[She itched to check the dainty pearl-faced watch hanging from a thin gold chain around her neck…] You should know my favourite part when I read stories is concrete detail. I love how I can come into the story itself and get connected with the characters. There is also come great characterization here as well. I don’t know who Dorcas is, but she seems very interesting.

[I want Hogwarts to be peaceful.] Oh yeah, sure you do. Then you want to destroy it. Seems as though Tom is um…in love.

[It’s almost as if…The Chamber of Secrets…It’s a snake, Slytherin’s symbol…The bathroom has something to do with the Chamber!] I’m pretty sure this is all part of Tom’s plan. Of course, I knew he was the one who set the monster free in the first place, but I’m pretty sure he’s had this plan of taking over the magical world since he became a student.

Very lovely one-shot! I enjoyed it.

Cheers,
-Sapphire

Interesting idea for a story, set during the time that Myrtle dies. And McGonagall, Sprouts, Tom Riddle and Hagrid are all students. Kind of disappointed McGonagall didn’t have better sense, but she was young, and maybe Tom's evilness wasn't as apparent yet, oh well.

/ "Rubeus is fourteen years old and he cries when he squashes a beetle in Transfiguration./ Aww, I like Hagrid and his love for all creatures, even ones that are considered “scary” or not important. Nice that McGonagall is defending him since she knows how kind he really is.

/ "I've never trusted him. He's got a warped idea of what's safe and what's dangerous; he's probably feeding the monster pablum off a baby spoon."/ This is an ironic line coming from Tom Riddle. And even though he might not be evil yet, it characterizes him as not a very nice or considerate person. (and from remembering canon, Tom actually has more to do with the monster…)

/ she had to admit to herself that she sometimes nodded off in Care of Magical Creatures;/ Oopsies, not a good thing to do at Hogwarts. Even though Dorcas is very keen on appearances and being punctual, this line shows that she can get a little careless with things she doesn’t consider important. Interesting also that when Tom used the magic spell, Dorcas’ thought was that “the trade-offs weren’t worth it.” So it seems that anything she’s not good at she dismisses as something she wouldn’t want anyway, which seems to be one of her major character flaws.

/ Dorcas wasn't at all satisfied with Riddle's answer. / Too bad she wasn’t a little more subtle after he started acting weird. It looked like he was about to get rid of her before McGonagall came in.

/ What was Riddle about to say right before McGonagall came in?/ Well, if she can’t figure that one out, she’s in for a tough time. It looks like Riddle left her in a bad situation – broken glasses, missing watch, and having to deal with the unsealed room; and there’s a hint he may do worse.

This was an entertaining story that ties in nicely with canon. Well done!

Hi there and congratulations on your story being nominated for Best Action/Adventure in the Reviewers Choice Awards!

I have to really commend what you created here with this piece. You took a small moment we only see represented as a fragment of memory created by Riddle in order to lure Harry into his trap and not only expand upon it, but deepen it. We don't know a whole lot about Tom Riddle. What little we do know comes at either the memories of others or what Tom himself chooses to reveal. So seeing this moment and who Riddle was before completely abandoning all pretenses and becoming Voldemort was really fantastic.

I thought here: (("On your own time!"/Minerva scooted nervously away from Riddle, whose smug smile resembled the gargoyle facing the entrance to the Prefects' bathroom. Dorcas had always wanted to punch that gargoyle.)) that Dorcas' attitude about Tim and Minerva smacked almost of a latent type of jealousy. Now, I realize that it is possible that she doesn't want Tom or Minerva (same as it is possible she does). What is clear is that she's carrying around some serious jealousy for what the two have, despite being extremely annoyed by it. It suggests to me how Dorcas has lived her life at school fixated upon her studies, upon being the perfect prefect and model student and ignored things like romance and stolen kisses in dark corners.

I love the way you created the crime scene image here: ((...the Aurors had drawn a magical outline of Myrtle's stubby form. The outline glowed in faint orange, radiating up from the floor like poison. Even the dead girl's short pigtails were visible;)). It really makes it feel like HP-CSI with how the crime scene has been treated. The separation of how a normal police investigation is conducted to how a magical one is done also makes it clear how separated the wizarding world is from the muggle. Yet, there's also that connective point, as well. Maybe Aurors use magic instead of chalk and crime scene tape, but they are investigating the murder with the same forensic and detective type skills.

Oh, Dorcas has no idea how here: (("It's almost as if… The Chamber of Secrets," she suddenly realized. "It's a snake, Slytherin's symbol… This bathroom has something to do with the Chamber!"/Tom Riddle inclined his head as if conceding a superior move in a game of wizard's chess. "You're a credit to your education… It's a pity…")) she nearly became the next victim in Riddle's game. I absolutely love how you use Nagini without actually defining her or specifying even that it is her. You keep readers who maybe haven't gotten to this part in the series in the dark and in suspense even as you have Dorcas in the dark (literally). We also see the true Riddle show himself here. His words are richly prophetic and chalk full of the malevolence festering in his soul. Had Minerva not intervened when she did and disrupted what Tom clearly was planning on doing, Dorcas would have been discovered dead in that bathroom.

In all this was a wonderful look at the early history of characters we don't see much of in the novels/movies. Fantabulous job!

Just popping in for the reviewathon over at the RLT! This story caught my eye a while ago, and I'm glad that I have the chance to read and review it now.

I love that you’ve taken a character that we know very little about and given her a backstory, as well as wonderful and believable characterization.

“Supreme self-control” this alliterative phrase paints a clear image in my mind about how Dorcas conducts herself. And really, just your first paragraph gives me the impression that Dorcas is an incredibly fastidious person. I applaud your ability to set up characterization so quickly and maintain it throughout the rest of the story.

I’ve never read an HP story with McGonagall as a student. I think your choice to explore, firstly, a character we know very little about, only that she must have elicited rage from Voldemort, and secondly to set it in a time that isn’t directly explored in canon makes this story different and interesting and I know even after reading the first couple of paragraphs that I’m involved in what’s happening.

I like the dynamic you create between Dorcas, Minerva, and Tom, and the dialogue flows naturally. Dorcas needs Tom, but it’s clear that she’s loath to approach him. When she asks him to break the spells, and she’s met with his laughter, I thought you did an excellent job of showing that’s he’s a bit unhinged.

Wow, the description of the bathroom is very atmospheric. I love the lines, “all the candles had melted to nothing” and “the outline glowed in faint orange, radiating up from the floor like poison.” It paints quite the eerie picture.

“As if someone had cast a non-verbal nox” – It’s Tom! It’s totally Tom. The scene that follows is written in a way that I was on the edge of my seat, and even started to doubt that he was in on it. Or was it the basilisk and Tom used nox to protect them? Though I’m a bit confused because you said they heard claws against the tile.

Tom’s dark impassive eyes in the mirror are disturbing as we know that he personally kills Dorcas. I had the impression that he might have attempted it right then and there if Minerva hadn’t come in. There’s a promise of something sinister in that impassive gaze.

I wonder if Dorcas would be so quick to want to leave at the end. I think she would feel even more curious afterwards as I think the whole incident must have raised even more questions. Though after all the noise they must have created I can see how her investigation would be cut short.

Oh, and Tom takes her watch at the end. I wonder why? As a memento? As a way to draw her to him? Something to use against her later?

This was well written, and I enjoyed having the chance to see your take on a character we know very little about.

Hiya, SP. Hope you're doing well!

I do not remember Dorcas Meadowes but I enjoyed this tale of hers from start to finish. You illustrate her impatient nature at the very beginning as well as her exasperation with flirty couples and her own lack of a partner—as a single person, I understand the latter frustration very well. I did a double-take at McGonagall and Tom Riddle—mostly because I didn't think they were students at the same time but your A/N does say this is an AU so I'm betting that accounts for it.

Your Riddle is just like we saw him in the movie flashbacks—just enough arrogance to make Dorcas think he is just a total jerk while we the reader can read between the lines and see how well he is attempting to play off like he knows nothing and is just another innocent bystander. Especially when he threatens to go to the professor in charge himself when Dorcas asks him to break the rules (and the wards) to access the crime scene—the perfect way to keep her suspicions down before he gives in to what she wants.

I had to LOL at the idea of magical caution tape and how you modified it from its RL counterpart into stuff that sets off screaming alarms if it's moved by anyone other than the authorities, as well as the glowing body outline of poor Myrtle. Great touch.

And I was afraid that Dorcas going to look at the "carving" was a bad idea. Now they've been blinded by darkness and whatever it is (I suspect the basilisk we saw in the Chamber of Secrets) has the advantage x.x

["I've never heard of them!" "They've heard of us!"] – this cracked me up. It's such a great exchange in the middle of this OHCRAP situation. And lying or not, Tom has a point—someone not knowing the species of a creature doesn't mean it won't take the advantage to eat you if it can or wishes to :P

I like her suspicion of Riddle coming right back after the battle is over, even though she admits her own faults—that this creature may exist and she doesn't always pay attention in class, and yet they just finished driving off something that wanted to kill them and Riddle's all calm and collected again. I'd be suspicious too.

The ending is a bit chilling—it's obviously Dorcas' watch that Riddle pocketed; one can only imagine what he'll be doing w that thing in the future :shudder:

This was a great read. Nicely done!

I really liked this story. You gave a great example of how conniving Voldemort was and how easily he was able to fool and charm the people he was around until he ultimately came into power. I did like the way Riddle was so calm and collected while they were basically checking out his crime scene. One thing that makes no sense if why Riddle would choose to point out the carving on the girl’s faucet, by pointing out that symbol he was clueing Dorcas in. Unless he merely wanted a reason to kill her.
I also liked how you had Minerva playing such an integral role with Riddle. I think in one of the books she mentioned how Riddle had fooled her and this shows it. The Minerva in this story is much more naive and innocent than the seasoned woman we see in the books. Overall a nice read, but it had a sort of unfinished quality like there was more to come.
By the way what was the golden thing that Riddle put in his pocket in the end of the story?

Just stumbled upon this story on a sleepless night. I really enjoyed it. It was rather chilling. And Dorcas was completely endearing. I enjoyed reading her perspective very much.

Thanks for sharing!

Leaving you a crappy, short review because I'm (a) on vacation with family and (b) loaded with homework, but I was searching for Tom/Dorcas fics because I'm writing one right now, and this was surprisingly the only other one that popped up on the site (even though it's not a shipping fic, but that's fine because I just think the character combination is interesting), and UGH YES I'm so glad you wrote this. This is crazy creative - you don't see fics fleshing out Tom's school days too often, and I've never seen him shipped with Minerva or written in the company of anyone other than Death Eaters. The entire dynamic between Tom and Minnie was brilliant, actually, because there was a fascinating inkling there that something is off about their relationship; Imperius Curse or something along those lines was where my mind jumped, but whatever was going on wasn't obvious enough for a simple explanation to cover it, and I loved that - how you were able to fully flesh out the story while still giving it enough of an atmosphere to suggest that there's so much more going on than what you see in the story, which makes the fic simultaneously satisfying and unsatisfying in this really brilliant way that I don't even know how to describe, haha. But yes, and I liked the climax for the same reason: evidently Tom's covering up his involvement in Myrtle's death, but exactly how he managed to pull off the blinding/monster stunt is left as a mystery to the reader because you don't explain it to Dorcas or to us. Basically, yes ugh I love your writing.

Oh, this was just so freaking awesome! You have two of my favorite HP women in this, Dorcas Meadowes and Minerva McGonagall. Now, I never would have imagined that Min had a love affair with Tom Riddle, but it definitely works in this story. Obviously, Min is more love struck and Tom has her under his spell...perhaps literally. I really love how you write Tom as well...not really evil per se, but more of a good looking young man that all the women want. You've definitely made him your own. Ah, and the watch was such an important piece. Now, I really must go and start unwritten to find out what it all means. Is Dorcas in that too? That would make me VERY happy. I just loved it. Great job! :)

This is an amazing oneshot. You characterise Tom Riddle perfectly; charming and intelligent and subtly evil. Dorcas's thoughts about Tom and Minerva are quite amusing. I must say I have never seen a Tom/Minerva pairing before; making it my new headcanon.

I'm not quite sure I read the ending right, but Tom stole Dorcas's watch?...why? Is it just because he's a kleptomaniac?

Interesting and compelling story. I would never have guessed Riddle capable or even willing to fake a relationship with any girl, especially a Gryffyndor, but I half-believe this is some twisted scam of his and he's using Minerva, maybe even has her under Imperio to make her stay close, although I can't imagine it's for anything approaching affection. However, that's just me. Their relationship is not so far-fetched that it affects the suspension of disbelief. I love the subtle mentions of so many recognizable characters and your wonderful descriptions of the bathroom fixtures and all. That makes it feel real. I like Dorcas. I do hope she shows up in Unwritten, which I want to read next.

Very good, enjoyable oneshot. Like the other reviews, I thought your depictions of the characters were excellent and the early charisma Tom Riddle is displaying in this story is almost a frightening foreshadowing of the dark following he was able to gather. I also like the parallels of the group to the modern day wizards; Mulciber, with his talent, but not caring about academics as much as having an adventure, reminds me a lot of Fred and George Weasley in their younger days.

Oh man!

I love your characterization here: everyone is spot on and I love a young lovestruck McGonagall. I also like how much like Harry, Ron and Hermione your trio seems- like every so often a few students got it in their minds to go adventuring.

It's dramatic, and tense, and I really like how canon lends another depth to your work, especially in Dorcas' suspicions of Riddle.

I really enjoy reading your work, and I can't think of anything to CC.

Cheers!