Excuse me, I love this.

lol cloud saying to his girlfriend and wife tifa excuse for 5 mins and starts to bang his head against the wall tifa hissing at saying to her boyfriend and husband CLOUD STRIFE YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE KIDS I DO WANT TO HAVE KIDS BUT NOT JUST YET

tifa saying to cloud you don t want to use the condoms do you

Cloud to tifa there is no man alive that will could or would evér use pink condoms i rather get you pregnant tban put a pink condom on my penis

cloud to tifa I am not usuing any condoms I want us to be parents

Aw man I didn't see that ending coming lol, even Arieth did it man lol

That was hilarious! XD

Ahahaha, good one.

This was great! It made me laugh, good job

This, my friend, was a fantastic fanfic :D I'm kinda bummed that it's a one-shot!

This is the only M-rated fic (I read only because you said it was THEME and not content) in my favorites. And I'm darn glad I read it!

This... was hilarious. Excellently done, O Writer! You have a great style and voice in your writing that makes the writing sound very genuine, how people would naturally talk, and it's always a joy to read. I laughed my butt off at how all the characters had to make a 'comment' with their choices. I think my favorite line:

"Cloud hadn't even known they made them that tiny. He appreciated Barret's opinion of his equipment, though. Enough to contemplate giving all the itsy bitsy things to Marlene as 'balloons'." xDDDDD omigosh, I lolled. Very much.

Your writing has a nice polish and wry humor to it that is very refreshing. Keep up the great work and I'll keep on reading!

P.S. Also, I bless you a million times over. You actually did your research or else knew ahead of time, I don't care which but I THANK YOU MOST DEEPLY for using the proper term for Cloud's singular armor piece: A pauldron. Not a shoulder cover, not a shield, not a baldric (something entirely different) - but a pauldron. I think you're the first writer on FFN that I've seen use the correct armor term, and I'm getting on my knees and worshiping you for that. Seeing so many others call it by every name but the proper one had been driving me insane and you've rescued my sanity.

I am forever in your debt. :3

That was really great. LOL.

Oh my gosh! I thought this fic was so fun and original :) I loved it :D

I laughed and laughed and laughed! Truelly inspirational! And I love the idea that even vincent decided it was necessary to bury him condoms, although I appreciate the fact that the condoms bought where plain old condoms and not fancy things like the rest of the crew where buying for him. That might have stained my opinion of vincent forever and ever xD

-Okami

So many choices! Kiss O' Mint was one of my fave names, though I only ever used one of those and that was for work, so it doesn't count...

Love that the last person to "gift" him was the one he'd least suspect.