That was beautiful. Too beautiful.

So when does Andromeda leave? Is it the year that Protege and Long Road to Ruin take place or is it the year before? I loved how this continued the chapter in Ruin. Out of all the members of the Black family I really felt for Narcissa when Andromeda left. I mean she's alone, well Bella is there but I'm not sure that's a good thing.

"Bella has never been this angry. Never.

It scares her."

I'd be scared myself if Bellatrix was that upset that she's not even acting out.

"Bella's nails draw blood, and then Cissy throws her arms around her sister and buries her face in her neck.

I still love you, she thinks.

It is not enough. It has never been enough."

Massive props for this. I feel so bad for Cissy in pretty much everyone of your fics but I think this moment especially. She's so helpless she can't save her sister. I wish i could just give Narcissa a hug, she really needs one.

-Clicks on Missing by Evanescence on windows media player-

Wow! That was just... I don’t know.. stunning, emotional.. Especially when I was reading it in time with the lyrics.. –wipes tears-..

I totally get the desperation and the hurt that you are trying to display here.. Narcissa doesn’t really want to reveal her true feelings whether that is because she fears that nobody will listen to her or because she seems such a quiet and reserved person anyway.

She is gone.
Gone.

This little section sort of finalising the fact that Andromeda has gone and there is nothing that nobody can do to change it. I am thinking that Narcissa feels quite numb with shock at this point.

This displays that everything must carry on at normal, and how Narcissa doesn’t want anything to change. It shows how she wants to keep her pureblood nature of having house-elves do everything for her, and feels that she would be like Andromeda if she did so because Andromeda left with someone beneath her

"Narcissa has never opened her own curtains before, and she does not intend to start today."

I love how you portray Bellatrix as she believes strongly in what her parents taught her of how you should be proud of being pureblood. She sees Andromeda leaving as being the ultimate betrayal to her.

This is a really nice metaphor:
"They stand in the rubble of Andromeda's life."

It represents that Narcissa thought that Bellatrix and her were going to get on well forever, as if her mind didn’t think to anything else from it just being them three; that they would all marry appropriate people. The rubble represents how their relationship between Andromeda is destroyed and how she has made that decision to not get into contact with her sisters ever again because she has betrayed them.
I love how Narcissa wants to say something to Bellatrix as I think that it may be hurting her that Bellatrix is behaving like this, and this line practically sums up as to why Narcissa doesn’t want to ask Bellatrix to do anything:

“Bella does not know how to fix. Only how to break”

The image of Narcissa throwing her arms around Bellatrix is actually quite heartbreaking, and Bellatrix accepting the comfort shows that she needs Narcissa more than ever. I think that this is also calming Bellatrix down too..

A really emotional drabble! Excellent work
-Sarah x

P.S: I am sorry for clogging up your inbox.. –hugs-

No. The formatting is fine as far as I'm concerned - and so are your characters. Narcissa is perfectly arrogant as ever, but yet sensitive beneath it all - as shown by the last paragraph.

It's a lovely song for this as well, good choice. It could be sung by any one of the three sisters, though since I don't know which one you were intending, I go for Bellatrix - singing it in her head as she sits there immobile.

See, this is how songfics should be done. I think the song is very well-chosen-the lyrics add to the piece, rather than distracting from it. And this is just a really nice piece of writing. Your Cissy descriptions are great, from her starched collar to the line about never opening her own curtains. And the visual of Bella wrecking Andromeda's room is so perfect. You've used it all throughout the Protege Moi series, but it doesn't lose any power here-Cissy's POV on the situation is heartbreaking. Bravo!

Wow, this was great!

(hugs)

Very good fic! It's very sad and the song is a good choice!

Great work!

I'm not really one for song-fics, personally, but this was rather tolerable, I think. :D It was an interesting idea that was nicely executed. Bravo! Bisous ~ the shattered star

You did one! (Songfic, I mean) *Hugs*

I'm doing my 'reviewing while I read' game that I usually do with your longer stories. That way you get my reactions as they happen, I'm not certain that's the best method but it is fun... and interesting, for me anyway. *apologizes*

What do you think is wrong with your format? It looks fine to me, unless you're unhappy with the spacing between lyrics. Just hit "SHIFT" and "ENTER" at the same time for a single as opposed to a double space between lines.

Like THIS... well, that was dumb, obviously you can't see what I did. But try it some time, I was pleased with myself for learning that trick by ACCIDENT. lol. *fails*

That's the only format issue I noticed, do not worry about it. It looks nice actually. I wish I'd thought of line breaks instead of random, centered BOLD text... oh well. Maybe next time. But, yours is fine, I promise. *calming, comforting touch* okay?

SEPTEMBER 1ST? And you said Narcissa is ELEVEN... so this is happening just before her (FIRST) train ride to Hogwarts. I pity her already. And she's already so... obsessive. I guess we knew this already if this is the same version of her from PM and LRTR. I think it is... most of your stories are connected, it seems. Unlike mine, in a good way.

I like the contrast between their rooms, as different as their personalities... also, "small staccato shivers". Alliterations have a special place in my heart and that one was clever. And fun to say (aloud).

Ouch! Well, I'm a little frightened of Bella in this state too...

I'm sure I've asked this before but I've forgotten (sorry)... but, how much older is Andromeda in your timeline? If it's only two or three years then she'd be going back to school later this day too... I'm sure she's older than THAT though if she's already pregnant with (or already had?) Tonks.

Are you one of those people who say she ran away? Or was she forced to leave? OR did she choose Ted over her own family and left quietly when they refused to accept this with little fuss until AFTER she was gone? I haven't decided yet what I think the case was.

Is it odd that what saddens me more than anything else here is the fact that they still have to go back to school after all THAT? It just seems like the end of the world, especially for Cissy. :(

It just makes it all the more dramatic and tragic. I liked that Bella, however silently and violently, reached out for her sister. There was anger, but the real truth was shown when she didn't turn away Cissy's hug.

I know it's canon Cissy, regardless of being the youngest, is the more responsible and in-control of the sisters. It just didn't occur to me she'd be taking care of Bella this early in life. It really says a lot for her character.

The lyrics fit beautifully. You broke up the text thoughtfully. With mine, I spaced the lyrics and wrote little connected drabbles between them, but you kept the pattern and the story going throughout. Well done.

Did you mean the narrator of the song to be Andromeda? That was my first guess and it would be a clever idea to have the song here then, like she's watching them like a ghost or a neglected or invisible third person of the scene. But then I thought of Narcissa... i know not all of the words fit her case. But i thought some could express her feeling alone and abandoned, missing her sister, and wishing she'd come back so everything could be normal and okay again. ... hm, maybe not? Either way, though: great song choice and use of the lyrics.

Well done. Love. :)

Re: Your PM: OH! I get it now: Bellamour. That's clever, I like it. sorry you had to explain, but, still: _

yes, I LOVE "Brick by Boring Brick". It was an amazing video. I am currently obsessed with Kerli's "Walking on Air" as well. It has a Burton-esque feel to it and the song makes me feel peaceful and excited at the same time, somehow.

I'm so glad you did decide to do this songfic. It was great. Love you.

Wow! I absolutely love this. Poor Cissy, and poor Bella, and poor Andromeda!

Your desciption of Cissy's room - the "thin grey light," the starch in her collar, the mess and the cracking leaves in Bella's room, all sets the stage perfectly, lets us know that something is horribly wrong. And then we get to Andy's room. I love how you detail what she left behind. This line was particularly heartbreaking: "There are earrings, her favourites, pressed into the carpet, bent out of shape beneath Bella's heel."

And I love how you capture both sisters' personalities - Cissy is such a perfectionist, trying so hard to stay in control of everything (plaiting her hair the first thing in the morning, not opening her drapes because it's the house-elf's job, dictating just how much starch should go in her collar, "the baby that isn't right"). And even though this is in Cissy's POV, there's a great characterization of Bella too - her messy room, as compared to Cissy's, what she's done to Andy's room, and the way she reacts by freezing (and that "for once" when Cissy hugs her).

Lastly, usually don't really like songfics - I usually find myself skimming over the lyrics, annoyed at the way they break up the text. I'm not going to lie, I still kind of skimmed the lyrics, but I think you chose the perfect places to break up the text. All those short, separate scenes leading up to the final one, where Cissy finds Bella - it really works.

Great job! You are amazing. (I think I'll have to work a little more before posting mine, now!).

Oh, one thing though - if this is the morning after Andromeda leaves, then she had Tonks before this ? And Cissy and Bella know about it, and that the father is a Muggle-born? So Andy's family allowed her to stay (or locked her up, forcing her to stay, maybe?) in their house while she was pregnant with a Muggle-born's child, and they let her have the baby? I have a feeling that your mention of Tonks wasn't a mistake, and your summary says that this is the morning after Andromeda's abandonment - so, all I can conclude is that your version of what happens with Andromeda is going to be REALLY interesting! I can't wait to read further hints as to what happened, in LRTR and your other stories.

Oh, my goodness, Hannah. You're writing is so freaking amazing; I'm completely jealous. I loved this piece... abosolutely loved it. I just... it was amazing. I don't know what else to say.

Excellent job!