Great job! And very good idea for a fanfic. Admittedly I had never really wondered what Yassen was thinking during Stormbreaker when he first met Alex, but apparently you did and turned it into a wonderful oneshot. It also showed more about Yassen's character; that most of te time is cold and uncaring but is capable of caring under the correct cirumstances for important people in his life (more personal than professional obviously) even if he doesn't hsow it. It also shows his intense loyalty to John and thus his sense of owing the late John Rider something for helping him that he wanted to give John's brother a chance to survive (even if Yassen did kill Ian, Yassen tried to let Ian get away- at least in this fic) and his sense of protection (among other things) to John's son Alex especially since he is so similar to John in appearance, ersonality, and mannerisms plus in this fic Yassen held Alex when he was a baby when John brought his student/trainee Yassen to his own, personal home where his wife and child were living at and let him hold baby Alex. Yassen was able to calmly plan the deaths of thousands of school children, but he couldn't kill the school boy/spy. Anyway great job. Are you going to write anymore fics about Yassen and what he thought when he sees Alex every time? It would be interesting and something I'd definitely read, Yassen's thoughts when he sees Alex become more and more accustomed to the life of a spy and jaded and weary with a haunted look in his eyes and no longer a child really. I imagine Yassen would be rather mad if his reactions in this fic were anything to go by.

This is really good. It felt quite convincingly like Yassen and I liked the way he seemed to have emotions without breaking from his coldness. Great work.

Anthony Horowitz should have included that. that was amazing, although hard to follow in some parts, if not paying spcial atention...

Some parts though Anthony wouldnt had included, but very well written, thats what makes your writing unique. You were very creative about his life before and dont leave us questioning as much. you explained it with emense detail. i definaty will read more. As Sayle would say, "Your bliddy good!"

Im not a beta reader, just stating my opinion.

I really liked the way this ended. See ing the entire meeting with Alex from Yassen's point of view was very cool. I love the thoughts that he had and the way you worded them. Great job!

God damned incredible. Seriously! For some reason, I keep coming back to this fic and reading it over and over... Brilliant. You have my respect.

You've, um, uh, blown my mind. Can't even think what else to say. Normally, I'd list the six traits of writing and talk 'bout how you did with each, but...I'm staring at the screen and I can't remember a single one...

(two mins later)

1) Ideas - I can't recall ever reading a fic like this. Maybe fics of this style, but yours really stands out.

2) Organization - check. What else can I say? :)

3) Voice - realistic. I adored your characterizations; you sprinkled in just enough creative license to taste.

4) Sentence fluency - no problems here. I see variety.

5) Word choice - other than replacing pronounces (e.g. replacing "he" meaning Yassen with "the assassin", "the Russian" etc.) to avoid repitiveness, I detect nothing.

6) Conventions - almost no errors, bravo.

Good luck with future fics. _

Holy crap! That was effing awesome! I've already read this fic twenty times AT LEAST! Please, please, please write another fic like this! You'll complete my world!

Overall nice. You got Yassen's style of thought very well most of the way through, but I can never see him thinking 'damn' swearing or drinking vodka. It's OK to let some emotions in when you write him meeting Alex for the first time, though, and that part was lovely. I also liked the way you set up Yassen giving Ian a ten-second head-start, to explain why he's zooming away at the start of the film with yassen after him in a helecopter. Ian really was stupid not to steer the car into Yassen's head. At that moment there were SO many things that could have gone wrong for Yassen, and Ian didn't exploit any of them.

'Yassen had left to talk to his superiors at Scorpia and see what their research department could do about time released airborne viruses inside computers.' That line made me laugh. His attitude to Sayle was good too.

True

Wow!

I love your portrayal of Yassen, and his perspective on the whole Stormbreaker mission. It's not too mushy, not too in-depth and 'heavy', not too simple...and really believable. AND it ties in with the books AND the film: amazing! :P

:) :) :)

oh my goddess its beautiful.

Wow, wonderful Yassen fic. Love it. _

Shit... Holy shit...

This was... wow. Just wow. You really captured the characters in somewhat the same way that Anthony Horowitz himself do. It was intresting to read about the way Ian acted, and how strongly Yassen reacted to both Alex and Ian to everyone's subconsciousness.

I have really nothing more to say. Fantastic writing. I'm adding it to my favorites and please please write something more like this soon!

/Helene

Aw... Hm... Can't think of anything else to say. Good story.

Excellent. I really loved their encounter on the rooftop, and how Yassen was surprised by it. Really, I felt that you captured Yassen perfectly. Not a lot of people can-they tend to romanticize him too much. But this was perfect. His friend in Greece was funny too-he's got one hell of a potty mouth! Keep up the good work!

I think this is my favourite story in the whole fandom. it wasn't long with a drawn out story line, but it was perfect, no other story ive read has depicted yassen as well as you did, or alex for that fact. it was VERY IN CHARACTER, i absolutely LUVED it! amazing author, seriously, i'm not kidding! i'll look out for any other stories by u, GREAT work!