Hmm I loved how you tied the mirror and seeing and looking into the last sentence of this chapter. Although I'm wondering whether the characterisations are spot on, I think the last sentence may be :) It's certainly very cute though.

Oh and I really liked this: "If this one man asked her to shoot, she would kill." It's so profound you shoulda put it in with the story! :P

Keep the awesome work up!

Wow. Excellent characterisation. I like how you've shown development with Roy, like how he's mature. And an interesting side to Riza! Riza love

The second chapter was -slightly- incoherent but I more or less got it.

It's short but sweet. Leaves me wanting more!

Very good for first fanfic.

Neato chapter. ]

really good i loved it I can't wait for the next chapter update soon

Meanie Roy. But good chapter.

Very nice. ]

this was really good i can't wait for the next chapter update soon

We can only guess what Roy was like when he was much younger. Though I definitely write him differently, at least for the most part, I think you did a fine job of writing him the way you thought he should be written.

It was a bit incoherent, but just at the last. I could tell where things had coming from and where they were going.

You're doing a great job, really. I look forward to the next chapter!

I like it. Keep it up.

wow this is really good i can't wait for the next chapter update soon

Wow. That blew me away. First fanfic? It's absolutely wonderful!

You capture the exact emotions, tones, etc. with your words, and with the feel of this piece, the bit of disjointedness works quite well. Your characterization is great, too.

However, it is a little short, but, as it's your first fic, it's not gonna be perfect, right?

Well, I certainly look forward to reading more from you! 'Til then!

This was really good i can't wait for the next chapter update soon

wow...Im glad that Roy isnt an incoherent drunk, that would be simply out of character, Roy stumbling through the streets...

This story has A LOT of great potential, so if I were you I would definitly update...( .)

Yours Truly,

ghost

Wow, just... wow. I liked how you had written this, sure this could have been longer, but this was ... read-able, I enjoyed reading this a lot. That part where Roy is talking to God (more like yelling that was great to make him be desperate there), somehow I liked that part, since it just suited so perfectly there, dunno... O-o"

Also this was RoyAi, which is always a plus~ w

I wanna read more of this RoyAi collection! Update soon! D

I liked the way you have shown Roy in this, and how Riza is there for him when he needs her the most.

Good story.