And so their friendship begins... Thank you for writing this story! _

Hello!

I don't know what language is your first, but I'm glad to see you trying so hard to write a story in a different one! (I assume that's what you mean by "my pad english"? I hope I'm not wrong, anyway. _; )

I like Heiderich so much, and I've always wanted to see how Ed could have met Hei (and I can't think of anything on my own!). .

I really like how you put both alter Ed and Al as brothers. And you brought in the crime element that would come to Munich at the time. It was very convincing! Good job there. It really helped the story!

I'd like to tell you that with the flashbacks in this particular work, since we can tell it's a flashback, you can either leave it written normally, or you can do what is traditional in English literature and put it in italics. If you don't know how to do that on this site, I think it's i and / i , with no spaces.

Also, saying someone's age is done in two different ways: "he is fourteens years old" is a phrase. But to make it one noun is like this: "a fourteen-year-old ..." The one with hyphens is the one you need in this story. :)

I also really like how caring Alfons is at the end of your story, especially the line "But you need to eat something first. You are too thin to be healthy. Have you been starving yourself?”

That's a really good line because it shows not only his deep caring for other people but also tells us a lot about Ed's state. It's also sad and sweet at the same time.

Thanks for not only taking the time to write this story to the best of your ability but also for sharing this story with us! It made my day a little brighter. _

Aw, brotherliness! :D

The reason Ed has for saving Alphons was kinda sad... Poor guy! Nice job with Alphons's general reaction to Edward's insistance. It was nice how, despite his efforts to ignore him so he'd go away, Alphons actually gave in when he found out how much Ed was willing to care. English isn't your first language? Wow! If I wrote a story in French (my second language), it would be atrocious, so I'm very impressed! I noticed very few tense errors, and they were hardly even noticable.

Awesome job! :)

Very nice! Have you written any more?

Wow. I always assumed they'd met whild researching together, but the conflict in this story is preferable by far. I really love it!

Aw... it's so sad and yet to good! I loved it! Good job!

*sob sob* I love all of your fics! Now watch me! *clicks all buttons at bottom of page* HA! How do ya like that? You speak really amazing English, better than me, and I've lived in NY all my life (Oh, no! I told a stranger I live in NY! Is that enough info to stalk me with? XD)

Please keep writing!

~Eo

Such a good story!

x_x! I love this one-shot...it's awsom...I love what you've done with the angst though. 3 -runs off to read the sequel and review it too-

Aw~! That was just so.. sweet! Lovely! To ma favvles! *goes off to read sequel*

aww, tht was such a great story! i loved it when ed told al the only reason he needed was him being al, very touching and professionatly (is tht a word?) written! Please write another chapter, or a sequel, or anything like this! itd be a shame if u didnt continue this work!

awesome update soon

please continue

awesome story

im begging ya

please please please

Horay~ I like this story, very nice. I'm going to go read the squeal... but before i go... I LOVE Mr. Heiderich, there should be more stories with him on here... *sigh* oh well.

Thank you so much for writing this! There may be truth (some what) in this story and I love the angst you put in there.