Too bad that Darros perished but at least he perished with honor as his race should (as the minotaurs of Narnia has a strong warrior culture, they wear the armor in the front, they won't retreat but fight to the death, and if even single one minotaur would surrender of retreat, he would bring the shame on the name of the minotaur). I kinda hoped that Peter, Edmund and Lucy had reached to the scene before Darros perished. Lucy would've healed him with the cordial.

That owl that saved Susan was probably Archimedes. This makes me wonder that on whose side he, Wulfric and this Phoenix, Darros' brother Fallon (and their army of exiled Narnians) truly are.

I hope that Susan would tell her siblings of Darros' valiant sacrifice in his honor. Even Aslan himself would want her to do that.

Fantastic. Uber intense. Poor Darros though; I was hoping he'd have a happier ending. And who is this Phoenix guy? and where is he? I thought he rode after the Hags when they left Ettinsmoor. I thought perhaps we might get a few answers, but instead I only have more questions! Arg! I am so hooked on this story.

I really enjoyed this chapter and I'm looking forward to her family finding her. Please update soon!

Great chapter!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, okay I'm favoriting this now!
It's sooooooo good, and your writing is BEAUTIFUL:)
I can't wait to find out what happens, and please update sooooooon!

Absolutely intriguing!

great writing!

OOOOOOO, I'm lovin' this:)

Ahhhhhhhhhh this is getting GOOOOOD!

Love this!

Great job, can't wait to read more!

Argh! You can't stop there. Susan! Lucy! Peridan! So intense. So exciting. Where's the rest of the army? Where are the other followers from Ettinsmoor? Too many questions and not nearly enough answers!

Please update soon! This is brilliant writting! I can't get enough!

Dun dun dunnn... The tension builds. I knew the King was going to offer his daughter as payment to the Phantom King. Grrr... Who is this other Man I wonder, and what ties to Narnia do he and Wulfric have? And are they good or bad? I can't wait to find out!

Yay, Peridan! I have a very soft spot for Peridan as a character, because he intrigues me so much. I imagine him differently, and that’s one of the things I love about fan fiction—see all those characters in different iterations.

I also really like the characters of the Pevensies, particularly Peter. I would like to see a bit more background about the peace negotiations as I’m not totally sure where we are in the timeline. It seems like before the Horse and His Boy, but it’s not totally clear.

There is a lot that makes this story compelling. You set up an interesting story, and your imagery is very vivid. Your dialogue tends towards being very natural and expressing each character well. I think what you need to consider as you write is focusing the reader’s eye and mind. Remember that not every detail needs to be narrated, especially as sometimes the reader likes to do the work of picturing things, so showing the essentials and leaving some things to the imagination is good. The same is true for dialogue. It should always serve one of two purposes: to advance the plot or to develop character, so a lot of the ceremonial stuff could be narrated over. A bit more movement could turn this story from interesting to riveting!

Ooohhhh I really enjoyed this chapter! Things are heating up. Thanks for the read!