Hey, great story so far! Just a quick note- the introduction chapter was very long and basically just recapped what we as readers already know from the original series. In normal fiction, it is important to establish origins like that, but in fanfiction it is less necessary and sometimes can even be foregone completely because all of the fanfictions for that particular community will have the same basic background facts from the series. The only time it would be prudent to give that much background for your characters is if you are adding elements to the plot or justifications for your characters to act OOC but in-character within the context of your story.

Thanks for sharing.

"dushbag"

There's potential here but the lack of punctuation and capitalisation is an issue. Spelling and grammar need work. Consider forming paragraphs instead of blocks of text. A beta would be invaluable to the process and it's definitely something to consider for the future.

I like it there was a bit of spelling and grammar problems but other than that really great story loved it

I'm sticking with it because I love a Jasper story, but this really needs a beta. Can't wait to read more

The story is good, a bit rushed, but it was good

the story like sounds and seems good but im sorry i can't read anymore. my advice is to capitalize what needs it and not put it all in big chunks. it makes it harder to read.

Awww

i love it:) plis more soonn:)

I think you should continue with this story!

OMG :) I love it soooooo much that section- story !
Amazing! Simply amazing! I love your writing and i love this story! I can't wait to read more.
Please update soon! ::)

Love this story. Need more Bella/Jasper stories.

Love love love this story please lease finish it

Hohoho! Omo! Cool, I love this story and i can't wait to see where you go from here. Simply amazing! !I can't wait to read updatesoon! ::)maybe some time today. Plz, I will die.

OMG :) I love it soooooo much!plis more :)