I Am

Present time

As I held my perfect little boy in my arms, I couldn't get over how beautiful he was. I just couldn't believe he was mine. After everything his mother and I had been through I just couldn't believe I was standing here with him. If I could cry, I probably wouldn't be able to stop the tears. However, maybe I should start at the beginning of our story.

My name is Jasper Whitlock and I am a vampire.

I was born in 1844 in Houston, Texas, my early childhood and teen year where normal for the period, consisting of schooling during the winter times and helping in the fields and with the harvest during the summer. At least until the Civil War broke out.

In the year 1861 I joined the Confederate Army; within two years I was promoted to Major. I was only 19 at the time and held the title of the youngest Major in Texas. One night I was riding back to Galveston after evacuating a group of women and children when I came across three beautiful young women.

As was expected from my upbringing and training, I offered my aid and that was when it happened, the one I came to learn to be known as Maria bit me hard in the neck before I could react, her speed and strength overpowering me. The pain was unbearable, the worst thing I had ever felt. Almost as if something was causing my blood to boil, it was a never-ending cycle of pain.

My human life ended in the year of 1863. After spending three days in intense agony, I finally came too but everything had changed. My sight, my hearing, my sense of smell. Everything was heightened, it was overwhelming at first. Maria had explained to me what she had done, how she was a vampire and by pumping her venom into my system she had changed me into one. How she had chosen me to help her build and train her own Army in order to take over the territory of the South.

It was around a week later that we found that I had been gifted, vampires with gifts where rare and Maria marveled in the fact that she had created one. I was gifted with the ability to feel and manipulate other people's emotions, also known as an Empathy, Maria found this useful in her quest to build the ultimate army of new-born vampires. On top of my task of training the new vampires and keeping them in order, it was also my job to dispose of the ones that had outlived their usefulness. In other words, once a year had past and they were no longer extremely strong due to their human blood, I was too kill them. Being an empathy, it was horrible, I could feel everything they did in those final moments. The fear, the anger, and the betrayal.

I did, however, make one friend during the whole ordeal, his name is Peter. I allowed Peter and his mate Charlotte to escape when Maria had giving me the order to dispose of them. After that Maria no longer trusted me and I knew it was only a matter of time before she tried to destroy me

If Peter had not risked, his life to come back and tell me how our kind lived up north I do believe I have no doubt that I would be dead. In the year of 1938 I left and headed north, I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a couple of years but watching as they grew closer and feeling how their mate bond affected them, I decided to head off on my own.

In 1948 I was saved by my now sister. Little pixie Alice Cullen, she saw me coming of course and waited for me after her family had left the area. Alice knew how horrible I felt every time I took a life in order to survive, how feeling their fear and their horrified acceptance as I drained their life force from them was slowly chipping away at the humanity I tried desperately to hold on to. She knew just how broken I truly was. She didn't hesitate to take me to her family, promising that they could help me, and they did. They showed me a new way of life. They taught me how to live off of animal blood and showed me what it was truly like to be part of a coven, one that supported and trusted each other. I don't know where I would be without my family and that was what we were, we weren't a normal coven, we had been told many times from others that we acted more like a human family than a coven of vampires. But that was the point, we wanted to live normal lives.

So we went to school and our 'parents' had jobs, I mean sure we had to move every couple of years due to not aging and redo the process, but it worked for us. Redoing high school over and over was tedious but it helped us blend in, the younger we start the longer we can stay.

2005- Late August

This is where my story truly begins though, in the year 2005 on a plane to Port Angels, Washington to begin the start of another era. Our family was very fond of Forks, Washington, according to Edward they came back here 50 years or so, most people they knew during their last stay had died or were too old to remember them. This will be my first time coming to Forks.

"Jasper are you alright, son?" I heard my "father" ask through my thoughts.

"Yes, I am just thinking" I replied

"Anything I can help with?" Carlisle asked

"No, I was simply thinking of my past, what lead me to be here today." I informed him as I stood up and went to walk away before remembering we were on a plane.

Everyone was staring at me like I was an idiot before they started laughing, as I sat back down. Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder.

"We all have a past son. I know you haven't been with us very long, but you are doing remarkably well. I am not saying to forget the past, of course not, hold onto it, learn from it and use it to help you make sure you don't slip up but at the same time do not wallow in it, do not let it keep you from moving forward or allow it to stop you from becoming the person you want to be." I gave my father a slight nod of my head before turning to look out the window.

Carlisle was the leader of our family, our father in all but blood, it had taken me around 30 years to get used to having parental figures again Edward, Rosalie and Emmett took to it naturally due to Carlisle being their creator, they had been calling him dad since their turning. Alice didn't take long to fall into the routine with her being a seer, she had quickly fallen into the role of daddy's little girl. For myself it was a little more difficult. Although Carlisle was older than myself, being born in the 1640s and being turned at 23, I had been alone or with a horrid woman for most of my existence. It wasn't until my first slip up that I truly started to see him as a father and not a coven leader while he consoled me and ensured that he wasn't mad with me.

Carlisle was born in the 1640s, his father was a pastor and would lead raids to find and kill werewolves, witches and vampires. In 1663, Carlisle led a raid on a coven of vampires, during the chaos, he was bitten a left for dead. For two weeks he stayed hidden and tried various ways to kill himself, eventually, the hunger got too much and he attacked a deer. Realizing he could live off animal blood, Carlisle found new hope for his life. Carlisle has never tasted human blood, not even after 342 years of being a vampire. He had amazing self-control.

Next in the family would be Edward, Carlisle changed Edward in 1918 when he was 17 years old. Edward had been dying of Spanish Influenzas along with his mother. Carlisle had promised his mother that he would do everything in his power to save her son and so Edward became Carlisle's first ever Childe. Edward was giving the gift of mind-reading, he never seemed to complain about it but sometimes you could see that it overwhelmed him if he was in a crowded place.

Then we have Esme, Carlisle's mate, and our mother. She was changed in 1921, after being taken to hospital following an attempted suicide due to the loss of her infant son. Instead of being mad at Carlisle for changing her, she accepted it fully. Being Carlisle's mate help the situation and as the family grew, she quickly stepped into the role of mother for the teenagers.

Next to be changed was Rosalie, Carlisle found her in 1933 after she had been raped and beaten by her fiancé and his friends. Carlisle had hoped that she would make a match for Edward, but it wasn't meant to be and so the two teenagers became siblings.

In 1935 Rosalie came across Emmett after he was mauled by a bear, recognizing him as her mate, she carried him 100 miles back to Carlisle and begged her father to change him. Wanting to see his daughter happy and knowing that the young man would die if he didn't, Carlisle did as she asked.

Alice was changed in 1920 although we don't know by who, or why they did it. Due to her gift of seeing the future it didn't take Alice long to track down the Cullen's and become a part of their family. It was made easier that she is Edward's mate and that she already practiced the 'vegetarian' diet. When Alice told them that I would be joining them, they didn't question her and so it was easy for them to accept me even before they had met me.

I am the only one not mated and even though it can sometimes be lonely, I'm happy to have an amazing family who supports me and helps to make the loneliness less painful.

As the plane touched down at the airport, I was more than ready to start another chapter in the Cullen life. Even knowing that it would be the same as always. It was the same routine every time we moved. My siblings and I would attend the local high school, Carlisle would work at the hospital and Esme would be the stay at home mom while building up her interior design business.

I wasn't, however, ready for the changes that were going to come with this move. I had no idea that my entire existence was about to be turned on its head and that it would never be the same again.