Unwilling: 'Allo! This is our profile!

Unsworn: They'd have to be pretty dumb not to know that, since it says "bio" in big letters...

Unwilling: Sorry about her, folks. We let her off the sugar.

Unsworn: ...

Unwilling: OK, maybe not. Just coz we're writing this on MSN and I have no idea what she's doing...

Unsworn: I'm deciding I'm a Fatalist.

Unwilling: (Backs away)

Alagaesia!

Unwilling: Since this is mostly my fic, I'll talk about it. This is what happens when someone spends too long taking notes on the Roman Empire and discussing various soft drinks. Erm... just so people know, I'm Lyra. Unsworn is Greenpeace.

And, just so we're clear, I do NOT support G/M slash! (Unsworn: Yes, you do.) My daddy is straight!

Unsworn: I do. But since it has nothing to do with story except being a character quirk, could we please just GET OVER IT?

Aslan vs.the Dark Kingdom

Unsworn: Okay, this is crack. C-R-A-C-K. Born of sugar, Jadeite's Japanese deathscream at inappropiate moments during the Narnia movie, and more sugar.

Just so you know, I hate dub!Zoycite. She pisses me off. But since Unwilling has an unhealthy obsession with her (ducks flying books) she is here entirely too much.

Unwilling: Meheheheheh.

I Remember

Unwilling: Erm... I think I wrote this one during an extremely boring time in my life. I can't remember writing it, but there are cute little comments in the margin of my notebook saying stuff like "Kill me NOW!" etc, so... I must have been pretty bored.

Phantom!

Unwilling: Phic. Obviously. It involves Lyra and Greenpeace (again) journeying to the Opera House to move in with a certain someone... Unsworn would like to add that urple is teh colour of D00M!

I would like to laugh at all of you pathetic beings who haven't glomped Erik yet. Moo-hahahaha!

Red on White

Unsworn: Umm, Red and White was written at Coca-Cola Christmas in the Park--Unwilling wanted Murtagh angst and cutting. I obliged. She beta'd. End of story. See, it wasn't that interesting, was it?

Unwilling: (coughsmokingkillscough)

Unsworn: (Produces Zar'roc)

Unwilling: (gulp)

Tears in Timespace

Unsworn: Well, this is Unwilling's pet peeve. See, I just wrote this with a friend of mine whose penname I can't remember. Neither could she, so we posted it under this penname. Without letting Unwilling know. Hence a very nice review. It's from Cherub, though, and I sincerely doubt Unwilling has ever had anything to do with it.

Unwilling: Nope. I really should write a PotO fic just to even things up...

The Stars Know Everything?

Unwilling: Yet another crack fic. I hide in shame at the horrible humour. It won't be finished because if it was we'd probably be kicked off FF.N...

"So, anyway, what the Romans would do is tie a person to a pole, tilt their head back, and pour melted lead down their throat. The person would then melt from the inside."

"Pretty..."

--Unwilling's teacher...and Unwilling.

"I remember all the things you taught me, every book I ever read! Can all thewords in all the books help me to face what lies ahead?"

--Yentl,from Yentl.

"Qu-queen Beryl-sama! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH!"

--Jadeite.

"And this is Kamui, and Kamui, and Kamui with his pretty wings, and Kamui in his school uniform, and the frog, and the frog on Fuuma, and the frog again, and oh!he's so cute! Yeah, that's chibi!Kamui..."

--Unwilling, when she shows people the pictures on her phone.

"SMOKING KILLS!"

--Unsworn. Christmas in the park.

"I'm gonna write a book called Sarcastic Frogs That Say 'Gleep!' It's gonna be about mutant giraffes that walk around going 'baa!'

--(blinks.) Erm, yeah. This is me (Unwilling) after a B O R I N G science lesson in which I convinced everybody that giraffeshave black-and-white stripes and short necks. Yup. Even my science teacher went along with the joke...

Nataku paused. “Why does she bounce?”

Kakyou choked. Fuuma, overhearing, went off into another bout of laughter.

“We saw other women in the mall,” Nataku continued. “They didn’t bounce. They were much prettier.”

Kakyou gave up and burst into snickers. Fuuma was literally lying on the floor, laughing so hard he was nearly crying. When Kakyou finally got a hold of himself, he turned to Nataku and said seriously, “because Kanoe is a floozy.”

“Oh.” Pause. “What’s a floozy?”

“It’s somebody who dresses in clothes that are too tight and throws themselves around to try to get men to sleep with them and are shameless.”

“Oh.” Another pause. “Is sleeping with someone fun?”

Kakyou choked again. “I hear it is, yes.”

“Oh, it is,” Fuuma said from his place on the floor.

“Why is it fun?” Nataku asked.

Fuuma picked himself up off the floor. “To sleep with someone is a euphemism for sex, Kazuki.”

“Oh!” Nataku said, understanding dawning at last. Pause. “You’ve had sex?”

Fuuma fell over again.

--The (in)famous floozy scenario. From Atropos: /knkfics/atropos.html

Sam I Am says:
fag 4 me!

Sam I Am says:
/fang

sadame/hitsuzen says:
/g/

Sam I Am says:
lol

sadame/hitsuzen says:
that was an incredibly amusing typo

--This came from an IM convo between us. We were talking about whic MaxRide charas we liked, and I (Unwilling) kinda... erm... misspelt Fang's name.

"Stop standing around. Kill something."

--The Deacon from the live-action of WaterWorld. It amuses Unsworn.

"The cloth is blue!"

--from the subtitles of Unwilling's pirated dvd of Eragon: the movie. And you didn't hear it from us. btw, Eragon (long may he die in mysterious ways) was saying Brom.

"aboot"

--From chapter six of Alagaesia! Sue-Lyra has adopted a Scottish accent.