Hello there! *Sticks Virtual Hand out*

Link to my Wattpad account is:https:///user/TaliaAnnabethChase

Link to my Goodreads account is: https:///user/show/42109240-talia

NAME: Call me Talia.

GENDER: Fangirl(duh)

Age: old enough to be in high school (like year 7-12 high school.)

ALIASES: thebookworm88, ravandorzeusshadowhunterfangrrl, imademigodwithtributeandranger.

COUNTRY: AUSTRALIA!!!! Officially best country in the world.

FAVORITE BOOK/SERIES/FANDOMS: ummm...Mortal Instruments, Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus, Divergent,HUnger Games, Maximum Ride, Ranger's Apprentice, Brotherband, Sea Glass(that's the first book, forgot series), poison study(Also first book), Spiritwalker trilogy, Spirit Animals, Dork diaries, Fault in our stars, Samurai kids, Magyk, Eragon, Elementals, Heist Society, Gallagher Girls, Vampire Academy :D

Ok like my TOPITTY TOP favs(that's hard) ummmm...

1. Percy Jackson

2. The Mortal Instruments

3. The Infernal Devices

4. Heroes Olympus

5. Harry Potter

6. Heist Society

Honourable Mentions: Maximum Ride, Divergent, Gallagher Girls, Throne of Glass

LIKE, REALLY, REALLY, IMPORTANT FACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME BEFORE YOU READ MY STORIES. LIKE REALLY IMPORTANT:

-I have never blown a successful bubble with bubble gum before. EVER

-I once went to China on a three month holiday

-I have a weird dislike of long haired men...don't even ask

-I swear I have ADHD. seriously. not like really bad, not demigod type ADHD, i just find it super hard to focus on something, and it is shockingly hard to not tap my fingers every five seconds.

-I have an irrational fear of tomatoes. serious. last time, my mum asked me to cut some cherry tomatoes in half for a salad, and i was like, hey at least i won't eat. and Ill just stay as far away as i can so i won't smell it. but the i tried to cut one and this disgusting greenish juice OOZED out with these seeds, and some got on my hand. I literally screamed. I was going crazy, and i washed my hands with gallons of soap like TEN times. so, the moral is, never EVER bring a tomato within TWO METRES OF ME. EVER

-I enjoy beaches, yet I HATE getting my hair wet. Unless its like washing my hair in the shower.

-I suck at swimming. Mainly cos most of the time I'm laughing so hard cos I can't stay afloat. Do you know HOW hard it is to keep afloat while laughing? REALLY HARD

-I like seafood. mostly. but i HATE salmon. i HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT

RANDOMN SLIGHTLY MORE IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT ME...

- I’m a bookworm, and sometimes prefer books to people.

- I am crazy at school, and speak what I think most of the time, but hates mean people.

- I sometimes get so angry with book characters I once ripped one by accident.

- A dream friend would be someone who loves the books I love, is a lot like me and like fan fiction as well. Sadly, I know no one in real life that likes all the books I do (I only know three person who ha read mortal instruments the full series...)

- I’m chinese born, but aussie lived.

- I like setting my priorities straight. For example if someone does like a somersault over their bike and land awkwardly, but it looks funny, I would laugh my head off, then go like OMG OMG ARE YOU OK??!!! DO U NEED THE AMBULANCE? ARE YOU DEAD?? HELLO? HELLO?

-I am crazy impatient.

- I think PJO, HP, TMI is real, the letter for hogwarts hasn't come yet, my mum is taking me to the local warlock yearly, and i haven't developed my demigod skills yet.

I am that girl. The one who likes books more than boys. The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy. The one who always wonders what she did wrong. The one who writes to . The one who just wants to help. The one that really wants to make a difference. The one that sticks to her values. The one that refuses to believe that this is it. The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow. Copy and Paste if you can relate.

20 Years From Now...

Your Daughter: Hey mum, I like this book...

You: Oh my god, I'm so sorry

Daughter: What-

You: I'll call your teachers...

Daughter: Why are you-

You: To tell them your grades will be dropping

Daughter: Why will-

You: I'm afraid it's downhill from now

Daughter: What are you talking abo-

You: I suggest you say goodbye to your friends

Daughter: But I-

You: Do you want me to help with your blog?

Daughter: I don't have a bl-

You: You will

Daughter: But-

You: Shhh, it's already done. No turning back now

Copy and Paste if you can totally relate!

I AM...

95% human 5% bird(maximum Ride)

Ravenclaw (HP)

Shadowhunter(TMI)

District 1(due that make me evil??...)

Ranger(RA)

Daughter of Zeus(Surprisingly)

Gallagher Girl (Guess where...)

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England) Anime895(USA), Starwatcher-shadow (Belgium), mewmewgodess (Canada), KiaraWangWilliams (Canada), Stitches on a Zeppelin (Canada),DaIvanbraginski (Scotland),CheesyBirdie(Wales) Ginygroov(Philipines) poseidon's hufflepuff daughter (USA) imshadowhunterdemigoddivergent (Australia)

THE PERCY JACKSON PLEDGE:

I promise to remember Percy

Whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

Whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

For Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

Whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe

Whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

Whenever a limo passes my car.

I promise to remember The Stolls

when my home is beginning to unsettle.

I promise to remember Beckendorf

whenever I see someone working metal.

I promise to remember Silena

whenever a friend takes one for the team

I promise to remember Michael Yew

whenever I see a smile that gleams.

I promise to remember Briares

whenever I see someone playing hand games.

I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth

whenever I see a cloth in flames.

I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos

whenever I see someone go against the odds.

Yes I promise to remember PJO

Wherever I may go.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!

PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!

PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid

PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile

PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

When angry…

Mortal: Shut up!

PJO:

Thalia: Shut up or my dad will zap you!(Go Uncle Zeus!)

Percy: Shut up or my dad will blast you into seawater! (Wooh! Go Daddy!)

Annabeth: Shut up or my mom will kill you with wisdom! (Go Aunt Athena!)

Nico: Shut up or I’ll bring you to my dad NOW!(Go Uncle Hades!)

Beckendorf: Shut up or I’ll invent something to kill you!

Travis/Conner: Shut up or you will be as poor as a beggar! (They’d steal everything away in case you didn't get that.)

Kate: Shut up or I'll make you eat cereal for the rest of your life!

Silena: Shut up or my mom will mess up your love life!

Castor: Shut up or my dad will wrap you with vines!

Clarisse: Shut up. My dad's sharpening his knife.

Chiron: Shut up or my dad will— Oh wait that doesn't work. Shut up or I and my buddies will have a stampede on you!

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile.

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been in the middle of a sport Match and a strange book quote popes up in your head copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have walked into the bathroom thinking to was the kitchen because you where to busy day dreaming about a Fanfcition you could wright copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever heard a song and automatically matched it with a book character copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been to the beach and the first two names that come you are Poseidon and Percy Jackson copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you are constantly told to get off the wifi copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in ur profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever asked a stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are not sure if you find these 'copy and paste things' annoying or if you love them, copy and paste this on your profile.

Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

You can't fix stupid.

I'm an angel honest... the horns are just there to keep the halo straight

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

When in doubt...throw a chair.

Even though he's gone, you can still hear the stupid.

Wake Up, Read, Eat, Read, Go to School, Read, Eat, Read, Go to Sleep, Repeat

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCHthe fire to see if it's really hot.

Watch out for the idiot behind me.

I ran with scissors, and LIVED!

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

The reason your mama told you not to hit girls is they hit back harder, and sometimes repeatedly.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

When life throws you lemons... throw something harder back!

I did not hit you... I simply high fived your face.

Of course I'm out of my mind... It's dark and scary in there!

Happiness is just around the corner; too bad the world is round!

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

I know the traffic signals by heart; green means go, yellow means speed up, and red means check for cops.

Boys are like wine; They need to have the mess kicked out of them and be left to mature for a while before they become something you are able to have a meal with.

I used to be normal, then I met the freaks I call friends

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!!

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

Sometimes I lie awake at night asking myself what I've done wrong, then the voice in my head says, " This is going to take more then one night..."

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree.

I didn't say it was your fault... just that I was going to blame you

My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you at the same time.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. (and that is why I love silver)

Growing old is mandatory, growing up however...

There are all kinds of art. There's the art of drawing, the art of dancing, the art of science, and of course the refined art of being an idiot

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train headed your way.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

The only way to make my PC faster is throwing it out the window.

I am temporarily distracted by a sharp, shiny object.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and bi*ch slap that mother f*cker upside the head

Define 'normal'

I don't suffer from insanity, I am enjoying every minute of it.

Knowledge is power; Power is the root of all evil. Therefore study evil and excel at it.

If the opposite of pro is con, what's the opposite of Progress?

Only two things are infinite: 1)The universe. 2)Human stupidity

There are few problems that can not be solved with large amounts of explosives.

Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

If you think I'm normal, you need to go to a mental hospital.

What is this 'kindness' you speak of?

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it gets strange.

Flying is easy. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE . God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (too late )

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (thank you captain obvious . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (no comment . . .)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Oh yeah because many kids are driving cars and operating machinery these days . . .)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Isn't that kinda the point??)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (okay that made me curious, what other use??)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (captain obvious has returned!!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (because they don't want to give us the fake bacon, they want to give us the real fake bacon :P)

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

(as apposed to what?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.

(because it somehow always end up inside the children right?..)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

9 Things I Hate About People

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my pants when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Dang right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid 12 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the floor...

6. When people who ask, 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say 'life is short'. What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here?

Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Flamestar, Samishi Destiny, Silverstar's Shadow, Darkangel24700, iLoVeMoOnYnPaDfOoT, Someone aka Me,Yourcool79, Give up your Prejudices, MyNameIsCAB, chibi-sarus, hawkstar2, CrazyLittleKookoo, imshadowhunterdemigoddivergent

95% of all teens would panic if they saw 1D/Edward Cullen/Justin Bieber/Miley Cyrus on top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this into your profile if you are one of the 5% that would grab some popcorn, drag over a chair, and shout: "DO A FLIP!"

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Repost this if you are against bullying. I bet 99% of you won't, but repost this if you are the 1% with a heart.I am a part of the 1% that has a heart. Are you?

Dear bullies,

See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked his friend out of suicide.

See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself.

See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country.

See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor.

See that girl you made fun of for wearing lots of make-up? You bullied her for being ugly without it too.

That boy you punched in the hall today? He committed suicide a few minutes ago. That girl you called a slut today? She's a virgin. The boy you called lame? He has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the stairs the other day? She's already being abused at home. That girl you called fat? She's starving herself. The old man you made fun of because of his ugly scars? He fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. You think you know them. Guess what? You don't!

Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't. Your life would probably not be as harsh as theirs

Try Not To Cry:

Mommy...Jonathon brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Jonathon shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Jonathon, got the gun from his dad

Mommy, please know; That I love you very much,

And please tell my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet older neighbor; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with you, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be a doctor, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my boyfriend, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Slow Fade

There was once a little girl. She had lost everything. And she was only in Kindergarten. She sat in the back of the room, while the rest of the kids drew smiley faces on their balloons for the end of the year party. The teacher said, "We are going to use permanent marker, since the colored Crayola ones won't stay as well."

And the young girl raised her hand. "Yes, Rose?" the teacher asked.

"There is no such thing," the girl said quietly.

"As what?" the teacher replied patiently.

"As a permanent marker," she said simply. And the teacher looked at her.

"Honey, this is a Sharpie. It won't come off your balloon like the regular markers." The little girl could've laughed aloud at how naive the teacher was.

"That does not make it permanent," she stated. The teacher paused.

"Yes, but - "

"Then why call it so?"

"I don't know. Some people just want to believe that things will last. Some believe just want to believe that there are permanent things out there, because they couldn't bare to think otherwise."

"Well, then they are foolish," was Rose's answer.

"Maybe they're just hopeful," the teacher contradicted.

"Well, their hope is wasted. Because nothing is forever. Once perfect families fall apart, scars fade, mountains crumble, and one day, not one will remember our existence, or even care. Memories die with us."

The room was silent. And the teacher stared at this pale girl.

She finally said, "Then who am I to tell you to use a Sharpie?"

The girl smiled softly and reached for the blue Crayola marker.

(By horse-crazy girl13)

Things to do on an Elevator

1.CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2.STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3.WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4.GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5.MEOW occasionally.

6.STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7.SAY 'DING' at each floor.

8.SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10.STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11.WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12.TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13.DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14.WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15.PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16.ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17.HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18.DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19.BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20.PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21.SWAT at flies that don't exist.

out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23.Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

24. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a demonic voice announce: "It is time..."

IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of

next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the

store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't

have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:

1. Ask For Directions To A Place Youre Already At.

2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.

3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.

4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.

5. Try To Sell Your Money.

6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.

7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.

8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.

9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.

10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant

TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. Pretend to have amnesia.

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Say all of the words in a film.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!"

11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm retarded!"

12. Talk to a pen.

13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.

14. Try and climb the wall.

15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT KISS YOU!"

16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.

17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"

18. Eat your hair.

19. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!"

20. At everything they say yell "LIAR!"

21. Pretend to be a phone.

22. Try to swim in the floor.

23. Tap on their door all night.

Hey guys, lets see who I am more likely to be a child of hey? The bold writing will be what's correct about me and the normal writing will be what's incorrect about me.

CHILD OF ZEUS

You like being in charge.

You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.

You were voted Class President.

You do what’s best for everyone.

You think you have what it takes to run for President.

You think every problem has a solution.

You love showing off.

You like plane rides

You are hydrophobiac

6/10 for Zeus

CHILD OF POSEIDON

You feel at home in the water.

Your favourite vacation place is at the beach.

You enjoy snorkelling, scuba diving, surfing, etc

You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.

You visit the local pool on a regular basis.

You swim professionally.

You hate seafood.

You never get seasick.

You’d rather ride a boat than a plane.

You are acrophobiac

1/10 for Poseidon

CHILD OF HADES

You’re not that much of a people person.

You like staying in the dark and writing.

You experience bad moods on a regular basis.

You like listening to loud, angry music.

You spend most of your time alone.

You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.

You like to keep to yourself.

All your closets are padlocked (or you wish they could be)

You write in diary/journal/blog.

You feel most active at night.

3/10 for Hades

CHILD OF DEMETER

You own a garden.

You like the great outdoors.

You have a green thumb.

You’re an environmentalist.

You have a special connection with animals.

You’re a vegetarian.

You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.

You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.

You love going to flower shops.

You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.

3/10 for Demeter

CHILD OF ARES

You often start fights.

You’re a very aggressive type of person.

You like watching wrestling.

You’re competitive.

You like reading about war.

You don’t take crap from anybody.

You have anger management.

You never back away from a fight.

Everyone does what you say.

You don’t always think before you do something.

3/10 for Ares

CHILD OF ATHENA

You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge

You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis.

Half of your Christmas presents last year were books.

You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.

You’re the valedictorian in your class.

You’ve never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card. (I’m pretty sure)

You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.

You think it would be better if you were the President.

You have a huge shelf of books at home.

You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful

7/10 for Athena

CHILD OF APOLLO

You’re very creative and artistic.

You like listening to all kinds of music in general.

You always feel sunny and optimistic.

You are talented at drawing.

You like writing poetry.

You can play at least 3 musical instruments.

You like going to art museums.

You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.

You have straight A's in Art on your report card.

Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.

5/10 for Apollo

HUNTER OF ARTEMIS

You dislike boys in general.

A deer is one of your favorite animals

You can shoot targets

You like silver.

You like the moon better than the sun

Zoe Nightshade is awesome

You love wild animals

You spend most of your time outdoors.

You love to move around the place

Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters

6/10 for Artemis

CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS

You have a way with tools.

You build awesome things during your free time.

You’re the best at Woodshop in your class.

Metalworking is your forte.

You have your own toolbox.

You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.

You’re a techie.

You often have carpentry projects.

You dream of being a carpenter.

You aren’t afraid of fire.

0/10 for Hephaestus

CHILD OF APHRODITE

Every guy/girl swoons for you.

You like putting on makeup.

You naturally smell good.

You never experience a bad hair day.

Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping.

You’re always at the front of every trend.

You’re the popular girl/guy at your school.

You’re often invited to parties.

Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.”

You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis.

1/10 for Aphrodite

CHILD OF HERMES

You like pickpocketing your friends.

You’re a prankster.

You’re a speed demon.

You consider yourself restless.

You’re the best speaker in the class.

You like thinking on your feet and using your wits

You’re inventive and resourceful.

You often start arguments.

You’ve never lost a debate.

You like making witty and sarcastic statements.

5/10 for Hermes

CHILD OF DIONYSUS

You’re the life of the party.

You like wine.

You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there.

You can finish a martini in less than a minute..

You have a happy, cheerful disposition.

You’re a foodie.

You like going to social events and mingling with people.

You like trying out new food.

You feel that you’re abundant in life.

You think that too much of anything is bad.

2/10 for Dionysus

Guess I’m a daughter of Athena! (ANNABETH IS MY HALF SISTER!!!)

Remember when:

HP was just a printer.

FOUR was just a number.

SUGAR CUBES were just something you put in your tea.

You didn't care about ANCIENT GREECE/ROME/EGYPT.

SHIPS were just big boats.

LOOK AT YOU NOW.

if you can relate, copy and paste this onto your profile. and add your name to this list: ihatejasongrace, PJoHoOFan, imdivergentshadowhuntertribute

f you're on fanfiction post this on your profile

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews in your email, paste this into your profile.

95 of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: SafireRansomePoseidonsDaughter, AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, Kikyouhater118, Midnight-angel-of-darkness, adngo714,cyber-porygon, the aku dragon of light, PirateCaptainBo; Ski Bo, pyro_manic19,ImmaLickYou, BloodredAngel808,tmmdeathwishraven, Spottedpool, oOHawkpathOo, CandyBunnies, Jay Nice, NinjaMeap, imdivergentshadowhuntertribute

You say vampires, I say DEMIGODS!

You say Rob Pattinson, I say LOGAN LERMAN!

You say Bella and Edward, I say PERCY AND ANNABETH

You say Team Edward, I say TEAM PERCY!

You say Bella, I say ANNABETH!

You say Jacob, I say NICO!

You say Jasper, I say LUKE!

You say Alice, I say THALIA!

You say Rosalie, I say SILENA!

You say the wolf pack, I say THE STOLLS!

You say Emmett, I say BECKENDORF!

You say Carlisle, I say CHIRON!

You say Esme, I say ZOE!

You say Forks, I say CAMP HALF-BLOOD!

You say Twilight, I say...PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS BABY!!!!!!!

Did you know that the 'Alphabet Song', 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' and 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' have the same tune? If you just tried singing those, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

copy/paste this in your profile if you could read this

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"When I was born I was black,"

"When I grew up I was black,"

"When I'm sick I'm black,"

"When I go in the sun I'm black,"

"When I'm cold I'm black,"

"When I die I'll be black."

"But you sir..."

"When you're born you're pink,"

"When you grow up you're white,"

"When you're sick, you're green,"

"When you go in the sun you turn red,"

"When you're cold you turn blue,"

"And when you die you turn purple."

"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

A friend will leave you if thats what the crowds doing, Best friend will kick that crowds butt!

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, Best Friend well go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he dumps you,Best Friend will call him and whisper "Seven days..."

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will hand you a Kleenex and ask you “Who do I have to kill?”

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend convinces you not to jump off the cliff. A best friend hugs you "Goodbye, I'll miss you. Can I have your I-pod?"

A friend will help you up when you fall, Best Friend will laugh because she tripped me.

A friend helps you find you're prince charming, Best Friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend gives you there umbrella in the rain, Best Friend takes yours and runs away.

A friend helps you move, Best Friend helps you move the bodies

A friend well bail you out of jail, Best Friend is siting next to you saying "That was Awesome!! Lets do it again!!"

A friend knows a lot of things about you, Best Friend could right a very imbarrassing biography of your live.

A friend will teach me how to drive, Best Friend will help me push the car in the lake so i can collect insurence.

A friend will go to the concert with me, Best Friend will kidnap the band with me.

A friend will hide me from the cops, Best Friend is the reason there after me.

A friend will let me make a fool of myself in public, Best Friend is makeing a fool of herself next to me.

FRIENDS:

Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS:

Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS:

Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS:

Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS:

Would be sitting next to you sayin, "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME!"

FRIENDS:

Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS:

Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore/Cry with you.

FRIENDS:

Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS:

Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS

: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS:

Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:

Return your stuff right away.

BEST FRIENDS:

Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FRIENDS:

Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."

FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FRIENDS:Will help you move a body

BEST FRIENDS:Will say "call me when you need a shovel."

FRIENDS:Try to help you when you get hurt

BEST FRIENDS:Sit there laughing their ass off saying, "Dude, you're an idiot!"

FRIENDS:Ask why you're crying

BEST FRIENDS:Already has a sword ready to kill the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS:Will ask you where is everything in your kitchen

BEST FRIENDS:Know your kitchen better then they know the one at their parent's house.

FRIENDS:Ask before they go into your room

BEST FRIENDS:Randomly start cleaning up, because they know where everything goes

FRIENDS:Will say sorry and hide when someone close gets kidnapped by a monster

BEST FRIENDS:Say, " I got 6 pounds of explosives in my backpack... Let's find this thing and blow it to shit!" when you explain your predicament

FRIENDS:Laugh with you and say "Nice Job" when you have to dance in front of the class

BEST FRIENDS:Laughs, and never let you forget it.

FRIENDS:Never borrows money...

BEST FRIENDS:Borrow $20 and then say "What money? YOU owe ME."

FRIENDS:Will give you your phone back

BEST FRIEND:Will steal your phone, tie your shoes together, and videotape the result.

FRIENDS:Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BEST FRIENDS:Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you in the process

FRIENDS:Will be embarrassed when all goes silent and you start to sing the song that has been stuck in your head for days

BEST FRIENDS:Will be singing along with you

FRIENDS:Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS:Are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this crap!!

Friends Fade, Best Friends are forever.

THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and clean your teeth.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

16. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!"

17. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match.

18. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"

19. Grab a security guards walkie-talkie, Run away an yell into it the ducks are in the pond i repeat the ducks are in the pon when hen say what say why don't you ask your mom when he reply you said we would never talk about that say an what was it we would never talk about again...

Comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)

Man: "I know how to please a woman."

Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."

Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:

Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."

Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."

Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"

Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."

Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"

Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"

Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"

Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"

Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "Where have you been all my life?"

Woman: "Hiding from you."

Man: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together."

Woman: "Really, I'd put F and U together."

Man: "Your eyes they're amazing."

Woman: "Seeing your back would be pretty amazing."

WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF WALMART

1. 'Test' the fishing poles

2. Leave a trail of tomato juice from the bathroom

3. Enter the dressing room and yell "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"

4. Go up to some old guy and say "Grandpa! I thought you were dead!"

5. Look for a guy that has a girl beside them and say "Who is this?" and when he says that he doesn't know who you are say " Oh, so that's how it is. Well, whatever we had is now over, you cheating liar." Then run away crying.

6. Put a wet floor sign in a carpeted area.

7. When the guards chase you, try to get to the aisle where they sell chainsaws and grab the one. Then go to the the toy, grab a teddy bear and say "Stop or the bear get's it."

8. If they catch you kick 'em in the groin and say " That's for my mom."

9. Grab a toy sword and run around yelling "FOR NARNIA!". Then find an old lady and say "AH! IT'S THE WHITE WITCH! SOMEONE GET ASLAN!"

10. Get a toy gun and walk around singing "Secret Agent man, Secret Agent man."

11. Release all the balls and say "GO PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU!"

12. Find some Yu-Gi-Oh cards and walk up to random people saying " IT'S TIME TO DUEL!"

13. Go up to the cashier and say "Where are you keeping him?" When they say they don't know what you're talking about say "GODDAMMIT! WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING MY BROTHER?!

14. Do the Hare Hare Yukai in the men's bathroom if you're a girl, do it in the girl's bathroom if you're a boy.

15. Get one of those dolls that can pee and get an employee and say "Sir, there is something wrong with my brother/sister and I can't find my parents." When the employee leans in to look at your 'brother/sister' activate the doll.

16. Attach a walkie talkie to an Elmo and make it say "Elmo has mommy." in a demonic voice whenever a kid (that's alone) walks towards it.

- The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction -

1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.

2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.

3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.

4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.

5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.

7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.

8. Thou shalt not use :D or :( or ;) etc. in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.

9. Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!

10. Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.

11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.

13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.

14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character—yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.

15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.

16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).

17. Thou shalt show and not tell.

18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.

19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est—writing is an art.

20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.

21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.

22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.

23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.

24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.

25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.

26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.

Child Abuse

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

Repost this if you are against child abuse!!

List twelve of your favorite characters from any fandom in no particular order. Then answer the questions about them.

1. Clary Fray

2. Percy Jackson

3. Annabeth Chase

4. Jace Wayland/Lightwood/Herondale

5. Hermione Granger

6. Captain Holly Short

7. Eragon

8. Isabelle Lightwood

9. Tris Prior

10. Zoe Nightshade

11. Thalia Grace

12. Clarisse

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven Fic? Do you want to?

Um, no way. And I guess it would be interesting to read

2. Do you think Four is hot?

Depends.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

If Clarisse got Izzy pregnant??!!!! No comment needed

4. Can you recall any fic's about Nine?

Heck yes!! Who hasn't read a fic about Tris?

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

oh lol thats percy and holly. hell no

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Hermione and Tris? Hermione and Thalia? They’re both pretty bad, but I’d probably sayHermione and Tris?...

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

If Eragon... walked into Percy and Clarrise having sex...oh my gods, what would happen? that’s just…nasty.

8. Is there such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Heck no, Clary and Isabelle fluff? Come on.

9. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Clarisse/Eragon hurt/comfort fic... um... Unlikely Friends...?

10. Does anyone on your friends list read Three hot?

I dunno, but i suppose some think annabeth is hot...

11. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

I don’t...think so?

12. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

PercyXJaceXHermione...nnnoooo way!!

13. If you wrote a song fic about Eight which song would you choose?

Fight Song by Rachel Platten for Izzy.

14. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic what would the warning be?

Rated T for language and violence. (Clary/Clarrisse/Holly)

15. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Last week?

16. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3)."

Clary and Eragon are in a happy relationship until Tris runs off with Eragon. Clary, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Thalia and a brief unhappy affair with Clarrisse, then follows the wise advice of Hermione and finds true love with Annabeth.

Ok, first of all, this practically makes Clary a lesbian almost the whole way. Poor Jace! And cCary and Eragon together??... Tris with Eragon I suppose is ok ish. A hot one night stand with Thalia? um, hello, Hunter of Artemis? Eternal maidenand all that ish? Clary and Clarrise. Um, ok. gross. Clary and Annabeth. *shudder* Plus the fact they both have 'famous' boyfriends

What title would you give this fic?

An Unlikely Tale

To those people who wonder why girls go to the bathroom together, they went alone and:

Hermione got attacked by a troll

Ginny got abducted

Myrtle died

Katie got cursed

writer / [rahy-ter]

1. a peculiar organism capable of transforming caffeine into books.

In chapter Four, Tris mentions Marcus's son, Tobias.

In chapter Six, Tris meets Four.

Coincidence? I think not.

The arena is divided into a clock, with a new threat every hour. You mean, school?

The fandom song (Tune of twinkle twinkle)

Welcome to the fandom world,

Filled with lots of boys and girls.

Watch out when the feels attack,

Authors stab you in the back.

Welcome to the fandom world,

Filled with lots of boys and girls.

My Dad: (yelling at the TV)

Me: You're yelling like the prayers are actually gonna listen to you.

My Dad: You're in love with a man who doesn't even exist.

Me:

Me: Don't talk to me.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.),Phish Tacko (Marty McFly, Klaus Baudelaire, Alex P. Keaton) Sugary Snicket (Danny Phantom/Fenton in my early FFN days, Durza, Dexter Morgan, Sirrus) FanofSnicket (Klaus Bauldalaire!!), MissVioletBaudelaire13(Peter Pevensi, Klaus Baudelaire, Duncan Quagmire, Quigley Quagmire), dramaqueen5611(to many to list), IHeartPercyJackson (Percy Jackson), randomosity4arty (Artemis Fowl, Nico di Angelo) DreamingAboutLeoValdezForever (Leo Valdez, Peeta Mellark, Harry Potter) poseidon's hufflepuff daughter (Harry Potter, Percy Jackson,Tobias Eaton, Augustus Waters, and Peeta Mellark) imshadowhunterdemigoddivergent (PERCY JACKSON, Will Herondale, Four, Gale, Leo etc. etc.etc.)

My family members when I finish a good book:

Why are you crying on the floor?

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.

You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.

Shopping is torture.

Sad movies suck.

You own/ed an X-Box.

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

You watch sports on TV. (Only if it happens to be on)

Gory movies are cool.

You go to your dad for advice.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

Baggy pants are cool to wear

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Talk with food in your mouth.

Sleep with your socks on at night (sometimes)

TOTAL: 11

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.

You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink.

Go to your mom for advice.

You consider cheerleading a sport.

You hate wearing the color black.

You like hanging out at the mall.

You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.

Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars.

You were in gymnastics/dance.

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower and get dressed.(thats only cos half the time im getting out of bed...)

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.

You love the movies.

Used to play with dolls as little kid.

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.

Like being the star of every thing.

Total: 9

Okay. Just asking, is it often that a girl gets a higher mark in the guys section in this test?

You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…

List characters from TMI in no particular order.

1. Clary

2. Jace

3. Izzy

4. Simon

5. LUke

6. Jocelyn

7. Sebastian

8. Maryse

9. Max

10. Valentine

11. Jem(Well technically Brother Zachariah, but...)

12.Robert

Do one and nine make a good couple?

Max and Clary? Eww

Who do you prefer? Five or ten?

Duh! Luke

Have you ever read a six/eleven fic? Do you want to?

Jocelyn and Jem? Never! I suppose it would be interesting...

Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Luke and Max? Are you mad? Luke and Valentine?...uh uh

Make up a summery for a three/ten fic.

Valentine appears in front of Izzy one night in an attempt to make her come over to his side. Will she betray her friends or stay loyal? Kinda bad but...

Is there such thing as an One/Eight fluff?

Clary and Maryse. In our nightmares

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic

Sebastian and Robert...ummm...i hav no idea

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Clary/Jocelyn/Robert…rated T for coarse language?

When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Yesterday

One and Seven are in a happy relationship until Nine runs off with Seven. One, brokenhearted has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Six, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds love with Two.

Clary and Sebastian are in a happy relationship until Max runs off with Sebastian. Clary, brokenhearted has a hot one nightstand with Jem and a brief unhappy relationship with Jocelyn, then follows the wise advice of Luke and finds love with Jace.

Ok. two things here. max runs of with sebastian. plus the fact clary had a one night stand with a silent brother. part from that its okay...ish

Sing this to the tune of Jingle Bells:

Crashing through the snow, on an automation horse drawn sleigh

Over the shields we go, Kronos' minions exploding away!

Bells on Blackjacks' wing, Riptide shining bright

What fun it is to swing and slash our swords and clubs tonight!

Oh! Kronos smells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way

Fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!

Kronos smells, Kronos smells, Mrs O'Leary's come to play,

Chewing the heads of Monsters as she comes to Percy's aid.

A dream or two ago, I saw a rising tide,

A horse and eagle fight, a thunder bolt by my side,

The eagle got hit and sank, some time the horse had bought,

Poseidon's face turned blank as he foiled Zeus' plot!

Oh! Kronos smells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way

Fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!

Kronos smells, Kronos smells, Mrs O'Leary's come to play,

Chewing the heads of Monsters as she comes to Percy's aid. Yay!

Oh! Kronos smells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way

Fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!

Kronos smells, Kronos smells, Mrs O'Leary's come to play,

Chewing the heads of Monsters as she comes to Percy's aid. Yay!

Oh! Kronos smells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way

Fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!

Kronos smells, Kronos smells, Mrs O'Leary's come to play,

Chewing the heads of Monsters as she comes to Percy's aid.

I'm so singing this on Christmas

Now, random questions i found on someones profile...

Favourite character?

Why you do this to me FanFiction? Um, PERCYANNABETHCLARYJACE.

Godly parent? Athena and Zeus

Favorite God/Goddess?

Either Hestia or Poseidon.

Least favourite God/Goddess?

Hera. Rick made her very unlikeable

Favourite book in the series?

Lightning Thief, probs

Favourite quote?

“What's this?" he demanded, looking from Clary to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing there.

"It's a girl," Jace said,recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one.”

Favourite ship?

Can’t decide between Clace and Percabeth! Probably Percabeth…

Least favourite ship?

Frazel I think. They just seem so… fake. But I love Frank and Hazel.

Frazel or Jasper?

Jasper!

If you could change anything about the series, what would it be?

Perhaps some more mortals. That would be freaking AWESOME.