What happens when four friends end up in the tales of abyss world? Complete chaos is insured. And how do they get back? No one knows but Yulia. Rated T for language. Later chapters are much better in terms of writing.

USUK. Halloween fic. In his bid to escape the brutal Halloween tradition of The Waning, vampire Arthur Kirkland sews himself a cadaver groom intended to be his ticket out of the Land of the Banished. Unfortunately for him, Alfred has a mind - and objectives - of his own. Loosely based on the 2010 Halloween designs.

Alfred was positive that the person who served him coffee was none other than his favorite porn star. USUK Retired porn star AU!

For years America assumed he was just a basic beta. But then one day he suddenly goes into heat. He always thought omegas were gross so he does not take this news well. Omegaverse parody, crack, UKUS.

DISCLAIMER: I DID NOT WRITE THIS The infamous WORST FANFICTION EVER posted here, unedited, for ur "lulz" -Originally by Tara Gilesbie -Rated M for the "Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time." line! -There is more than 1 chap per page

America mistakenly thinks England has something called low T, and secretly gives him testosterone drugs ... which causes all kinds of hormonal problems. Crack, USUKUS.

America feels insecure about his penis size, so he buys a gun to compensate. He wants to show England a sexy time, but accidentally shoots himself right before. But that's not gonna stop him! Crack USUKUS.

The boy stepped onto his table. He was beautiful, his hair bright gold under the lights, his blue eyes dark and brilliant. He was dressed like a cowboy and had a hell of a sway in his hips. UKUS, with past fem!FrUK.

Alfred F. Jones, a football player, a handsome blonde, popular, is -to his great distress- eighteen and a virgin. Luckily, one of his upper classmen has the sollution. But things advance too fast, and soon Alfred can't tell up from down. /high school AU

It's no secret that America and England can get pretty kinky when they're in the mood for it. But just how kinky, exactly? Well, a little indulgence every now and then can't hurt . . . right? Relevant warnings inside. Kink fic. RP with americalovesthecockpit.

England's been gone for a few months and when he finally visits America, he sees that America has really let himself go. He's not just fat. He's OBESE. But England goes on a date and tries to have sex with him anyway, because it's Valentine's Day, aww. USUKUS, crack, fail sex.

America just wanted to watch "My Little Pony," but England breaks into his house dressed as a pirate and demands kinky role-play sex. England was long overdue to plunder some booty, and other bad pirate jokes. CRACKY UKUS SEX AHOY!

Cardverse AU. Eventual UKUSUK, eventual Franada. Poor peasant Alfred, struggling to care for ailing Matthew, attracts the eye of Queen of Spades Arthur. And that's just the beginning of the twins' romance and adventures in the wartorn land.

USUKUS. When England adds the extra event of a Masturbation Marathon to the Olympics, extremely religious!America ... who is also very homophobic ... tries to say he's sick to get out of it. TOTAL CRACK.

Alfred is an awkward dork, despite the fact his dad is President. Arthur is a member of British royalty, and he's a perfectionist loner. Both boys are given an invitation to attend the prestigious World Academy and, naturally, they're roomies. USUK

America and Canada are at the mall and find themselves at Spencer's Gifts. In the adult section! They joke about the things there and have a lulzy time. But then America sneaks a couple of the items home with them ... Silly, cracky AmCan!

America buys a bed shaped like a giant hamburger. And asks England to bang him on it. Oh, and to pick up some McDonald's on the way too. Cracky UKUS.

AU - All choices have repercussions. At the time, he hadn't even realized he'd made a choice, but it would change his entire future: for better or for worse. Full game spoilers. -Thanks to Ladynadiad and Trystle for helping with the editing-

Peter Pan AU. Captain Kirkland is the bravest pirate on the seven seas, and there is no quest too risky when treasure is at stake. His mystical map leads him to Never Land, and to the greatest treasure of all: an unmannerly pixie-boy named Alfred. UKUS.

It's been nine months since England and America last saw each other, and England is absolutely desperate for a good rough shag. But America is taking his sweet time. Sexual frustration ahoy! USUK, smut towards the end.

It's April Fool's Day, and America plays an epic prank on England. Shame England doesn't think it's funny and withholds sex from him. So America calls France asking for advice. Of course that's a bad idea ...

CRACKY UKUS! America uses a Shake Weight to train for the Olympics. And we all know what THAT looks like. England sure does, so America comes up with a stupid but sexy plan to cost England his medals after he learns a secret from other countries ...

CRACKY AmCan! America and Canada find an abandoned tank during WW2. And have sexy times in it. While calling the enemy Axis on the radio and forcing them to listen. An epic trolling and lulz ensue.

UKUS. Fun fact: alcohol ingested via the rectum is absorbed directly into the bloodstream, making you extremely drunk in record time. America knows this, and during a night of drinking and body shots, asks England to help him experiment with it.

Canada and France accidentally end up sharing a hotel room together. They watch bad porn, reminisce about Canada's awkward discovery of sex, and eventually have le sexy times. Silly Franada.

NON-CON. Russia is creeping on America hardcore. America is not amused. This is actually supposed to be a humor story so enjoy my ticket to hell!

SHEER CRACK. England won't tell Sealand where babies come from. So America decides to troll England by telling Sealand a horrifying lie about his birth, including England getting freaky with his magical fairy friends. Why? For the lulz.

England wants sex, but America is too cold. So he creates the greatest American invention ever ... the Snuggie! And has sex while wearing it. Written for the lulz. UKUS, in that order.

America goes to please England but gets a nasty surprise! A whole mouthful. De-anon from the LJ kink meme.

USUK. America sends England embarrassingly graphic texts on the way to visit. When he arrives, they have an awkward, gross discussion about sex that leads to awkward, gross fail sex. Written for the lulz.

CRACK SMUT. America gets really turned on by food. England gets really turned on by America. Super cracky foodplay smut, written for lulz in America's totally awesome POV, dudes. USUK / UKUS. Yes, both.

COMPLETE. England overhears America's VERY inaccurate version of his Revolution, so he reminds America of how he used to own him. UKUS dubcon in that order, emphasis on the dubious. It starts off with humor but becomes smut because England is a pervert.

USUK. America wants England to pledge allegiance. Or else he's not getting any. It's smut so enjoy, you perverts.

Yaoi, CanUS. America runs his mouth and needs some sweet, sweet free Canadian health care. Written from America's totally awesome POV, fellow heroes. Don't be daunted by the length, because you know you like it long.

Japan wished China wouldn’t be so foolish, trading tea for opium whilst England and America laughed. UKUS/UKxChina/USxChina

UKUS. "No matter what I do or say, no matter if I revolt or defy, no matter how angry I make you, you will always forgive me. You will still love me. You will still call me America." Oneshot.

Being a dad was all England could ever really want, but this is one thing he just can't do. America x England Yaoi LEMON oneshot

AU Based on Reflections. When Christmas comes around, getting everyone presents is just too impractical. Drawing names is a much better idea... right? Full game spoilers

...A promise made by two foolish children long ago. A foolish dream of overcoming death... [A novelization of Jade Curtiss's past, created from a rough translations of the Bandai Namco Tales of the Abyss novel and other official sources.]

Jade decided to call it "duplicosis phasis." Luke decided he was tired of having it, but didn't know how to go about getting rid of it. The whole group decided to come together one more time to save both the world and their friend.