I want to be remembered. I do not want to waste away among obscurity. To avoid this, I wish to put all the effort I can, and all the focus I can into the things that matter to me the most.

As a person, I am fundamentally lazy. I hate this but I also know that I can't avoid it.

Once I start writing, I find it hard to stop. Words just keep coming until it is very difficult for me to turn them off. But sometimes I write too much, and I fail at bringing any meaning across in a jumbled mess.

Fanfiction to me started off as an attempt to develop a story. To expand my skills around a topic I was interested in and get a good critical review for it. But I failed to understand that everyone here possesses their own vibrant and different opinions. Not to mention values and interests. I failed to think about anyone reading this as a person just looking for free and easy entertainment.

I fell for this as well, spending hours of my life waiting for a story to update, or reading through others.

So I started to write because I hoped it would satisfy my need to submerge myself in all this creativity. For a lot of the work I've done, I've only received hostile responses for certain choices, pairings, and actions committed by the favorite characters from fandoms.

This hostility shouldn't have surprised, and it shouldn't have hurt me. But it did.

I believed in a sense of purity that the online world just cannot possess. The safety of a screen turns humans into the most despicable of things.

So I decided to write what people wanted me to write because it made them feel good, and it allowed them to praise me for writing that. I would turn off the torrent of my words, look over what I had written and felt that it wasn't me anymore. It's not my hands controlling the keyboard anymore.

Contrary to what my profile might say about the number of stories written, I've spent most of my time deleting things that have gotten too carried away. So this message is for the people that wanted me to continue projects like Shinobi at Sea, Strength, Apex, Death Stands Here, and Toxic.

I can't anymore. I can't keep writing those stories.

I want to be the one behind the keyboard now.

I'm sorry, truly, if you held any value for them. But literature is so much more than cheap meaning and simple storylines. It's the chance to challenge your audience, to make it hard for them to read, but also to help them invest with the characters.

Because fiction is entertainment, it could be simple, it could be a basic form of entertainment... but I don't want that.

I want it to mean something.

I want to mean something.

And I'm sick of just sitting back and letting my life slip by while I smoke and write.

It's pointless.

Time is the only thing left to give me meaning and understanding.

From now on I am the captain of my ship.

I am the master of my soul.

But hey, you're free to think whatever you want.

We all are.

Update:

These words were meant as a promise to myself. It also let's all of you know why I'll be gone at times. Too sadly say, I've finally come into my own creative direction, and while this website will always hold very personal and fond memories for myself. I have to go with my dreams, as cliche as it sounds. For those that enjoy my work, and would be willing to take the chance to enjoy it more, I will be releasing the first concepts, stories, ideas and basis of my new series. My own series. My own characters, plots and original content.

For those of you that enjoyed my stories for the flair of my own brush. How I write them, and what I write about.

I promise you this series will entertain you.

More info to come later.