NOTE: I go on hiatus often, usually without warning. Sometimes in the middle of a story. I'm going to try writing just oneshots now, as well as finishing chaptered stories all at once before uploading a single part.

Age: mid 20s
Gender: Female
Occupation: ehh
Previous Usernames: redacted (It's something very easy to find, even on this site alone, but I please ask that no one bring it up again; I won't deny being that person, but that's still not a part of my history I'm all that proud of. I did a lot of mortifying or even hurtful things.)

August 23rd, 2017

WOW UH. Okay, so, in 2015 I had planned to complete my account name change within the span of, at most, one year, and thus I changed to a temporary name to reflect the in-progress move. I had also planned to write and finish a new fic and use that as the vehicle to finish the process. But a great many things occurred halfway through, which kept me busy, and I never completed the change until years later. Better late than never, I guess.

First, the most important stuff: I'm sorry. In the past decade or so, I have said and did a lot of nasty things that may have hurt people. No one ever came up and told me I'd done so, but surely there must be at least one person out there who read my tonedeaf writing and felt an ugly churn in their stomach. This is part of why I'm separating myself from my previous username, because it's too stained with that kind of history. And not all of it can be excused as being a child. Some of it happened when I was older, and as an adult I should have known better.

I'm not asking for forgiveness and pity. I don't have a right to demand that, and I don't think I even want it anyway. I only want others to know that maybe not everything in the world is hopeless. I'll try to be a better person from here on out -- it's a lifelong endeavor, but I'll do what I can, for the sake of everyone that has to read my writing.

Where does that leave my currently-existing fics? I'll keep most if not all of them up -- there were readers that enjoyed them, so they'll continue to exist. Some of them, I'll even polish up with a bit of refinement whenever I can, generally to remove mistakes or skeevy offhand lines. Many of these stories, however, are so inherently flawed that I can only do so much polishing. I'm not looking to do any total rewrites, so at their heart they will remain as-is. (As of November 2017, I think the only stories I've touched up are the Vocaloid and Evillious Chronicles. Being relatively recent, it's easier to stomach my own writing.)

Will I write any more fics in the future? Eventually, I might. I'm devoting most of my energy into other fan projects that aren't suitable for this site (OC-based roleplays that have little in common with canon), but I do have a few ideas simmering on the back burner. No promises as to if they'll ever see the light of day; I've learned time and time again to never make a promise about projects, because I so rarely finish them.

If I ever do post another story here, though... I hope you'll give me a chance to show how much I've improved. Thank you to everyone who's supported me in the past.

November 21st, 2013

If I favorite/follow your story but don't leave a review, please don't be upset! I really, really love your fic -- I wouldn't be putting it on my favorites list if I didn't! -- but I just don't know how to articulate it. Yeah, I know, I write my own fics and thus should know how to write a review, but writing something that no one is obligated to look at still feels way different when you're trying to praise someone's work without leaving a generic "good job, write more". I like to try to add some depth to my reviews whenever I can, but since I hold back it often doesn't get done.

Which is not unlike my storywriting process. See: All the story ideas I have abandoned.

DISCLAIMER / WARNING: My older stories have language and concepts that might make some readers uncomfortable. This includes cursing when it's not needed, shaming of femininity or sexual activity, gendered or ableist insults, and violent language/ideation for angst. I apologize for this, and these past years I have been working harder to mind my language. If possible, I'll try to remove the most blatant uses of this, but there may be some stories/scenes so deeply entrenched in it that I can't edit it out. Let my past serve as an example, then, of old times and bad times.

And on that note: If I can have just one ~PSA~ on my profile... "It's just a word" isn't a good excuse for inconsiderate or downright rude behavior. If someone believes that words are just words, then how can that person claim to enjoy writing or reading fanfiction? If there's one thing being so closely involved with fanfics and stories in general can teach a person, it's that words have power.

It's the differences between outraged, displeased, spiteful, sullen, or just plain mad. It's the ability to make readers cry out of joy or out of sorrow, or to inspire them to consider ideas that they never believed in before. It can either reinforce or challenge the standards society lives by. It's a power that can't be erased by simply saying "I was joking, lighten up" or "I wasn't trying to harm anyone" or "it's just a fanfic about cartoon characters".

So, please, if someone does tell you that what you said is a personal attack on either themselves or an entire group of people, don't just dismiss their concerns automatically because you were trying to be silly. No one likes to be told they hurt someone (I could tell many tales about the things I've done that must have hurt others so much), but no one likes to be laughed off for trying to change things for the better, either.

Fics I Have Removed:

Victory in Victoria (MapleStory) - 2007
NaNoWriMo of 2007, I wanted to write a MapleStory fanfic for it. It'd have been a 20-chapter, 100,000-word thing. However, people who have followed me from the beginning of my fic-writing life (very few, if anyone at all) would know that I tend to get amazingly lazy when I try and write something that isn't a oneshot. Eventually I deleted it because it clocked in at an unsatisfying five chapters out of twenty-five, and because the offensive jokes and general bad writing made it unsalvageable with simple edits.

I lost interest about halfway to the NaNo goal on chapter five, mainly because I hadn't actually done the Book of Ancient/Where is Hella? questline in Orbis. I didn't know how I'd implement it, anyway, since I wouldn't be doing the full quest. There is little chance of this being redone, as so many classes and bosses stronger than Zakum (who was meant to be the ultimate villain in this story) have been introduced. A cast of eleven characters was more than enough for me, and there is no way I'd be able to implement Dual Blades, Cyngus Knights, Resistance, Heroes, Novan Heroes, and all the miscellaneous classes. (I know I don't really have to include them, nor did I ever have to have a huge cast to begin with, but I didn't and still don't like the idea of leaving any one class out. I just gotta represent everyone in a long 100k adventure, even the perma-Beginners!)

Here's some spoilers: Mary Sue gets killed in a second ambush by the Crimson Balrogs, Seth and Sumi stop yelling at other and hook up in the ending, and Kenta and Vivi also become a couple halfway through.

Double spoilers: I forgot the names of half these characters and had to look up my old draft of ViV.

Please Praise Me (Vocaloid / Evillious Chronicles) - 2011
It was a straight retelling of Tale of Abandonment on a Moonlit Night (or at least a retelling based on the information the fandom knew back in 2011), one that had no interesting qualities whatsoever. It was just an excuse to write violence and gore, I guess. Daughters of the Lullaby was a labor of love and self-discovery and Paint a Sun was a brief look into Kyle's mind, things that definitely cannot be said for this old story. Please Praise Me was only up for a short time, and it was so bland that I'm not sure if anyone misses it.

various forgotten stories from 2004 - 2007 (Mario, Sims, Pokemon, Animal Crossing... maybe more)
They were extremely bad and inspired by shows and stories of...highly dubious taste and sensibilities. Just trust in me when I say that the world is a much better place without my mid-2000s "humor". Unlike the two stories listed above, I have no local copies of these left, or at least not any copies that I'm aware of. Everything was either deliberately deleted or lost in one of countless hard drive wipes.