American Chimpanzeehide bio
Author has written 39 stories for Fifty Shades Trilogy, Bible, Lucy, Seinfeld, Star Wars, Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Dracula, SpongeBob SquarePants, Walking Dead, Planet of the Apes, Scarface, To Kill a Mockingbird, Misc. Movies, Quantum Leap, Twilight Zone, Titanic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, It's a Wonderful Life, MAGNUM P.I., Princess Bride, Roswell, IT, A Christmas Carol, South Park, Pulp Fiction, Doctor Who, Dracula 2000, Parodies and Spoofs, Edgar Allan Poe, Wizard of Oz, Misc. Plays/Musicals, Full Metal Jacket, and The Prisoner. All content has been written for humorous and entertainment purposes only. None of it should be taken seriously at any time. Ever. These are works of satire and occasional parody. Please consider this an invitation to visit my other humor sites: RaisingDad at fictionpress.com and Random Acts of Nonsense at fictionpress.com @JimDuchene |
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Fifty Shades of Gnocchi (and other literary shenanigans) reviews
If a turtle loses its shell, is it homeless or naked?
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 5,652 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 6/1 - Published: 8/22/2013 - Christian G., Anastasia S.
Fifty Shades of Grey Hair II reviews
Like Grey Hair I, these stories are based on classic jokes like this bad driver joke by Will Rogers: "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 6,704 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/21 - Published: 4/6/2018
Fifty Shades: The Further Adventures of Kate & José reviews
Like "Grey Hair," these stories are all based on classic naughty jokes along the lines of: "Life is sexually transmitted."
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 6,137 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 4/15 - Published: 1/17/2016
Grey Shades of Fifty reviews
Why is an actor IN a movie, but ON television?
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 3,908 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 1/13 - Published: 6/22/2015
Getting Old Is Hard To Do reviews
What did JayZ call his wife before marrying her? Feyoncé.
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 268 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/28/2019
Off To See The Wizard reviews
I almost fell in love with a psychic, but she left me before we met.
Wizard of Oz - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 776 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/24/2019 - Complete
Biblelicious (saving souls, one offensive story at a time) reviews
This Just In! Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!
Bible - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,680 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/23/2019 - Published: 12/23/2013
Fifty Shades: As Told by Christian, Too reviews
Because of the overwhelming outcry against my original satire of "As Told By," I've decided to rethink and rewrite the distasteful parody.
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/11/2018 - Complete
Bananas Revisted: The Migrant Caravan reviews
When Woody Allen filmed his second movie "Bananas," he was asked if sex was dirty. "Only if it's done right," he answered.
Misc. Movies - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 750 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/7/2018
The Raven (edited for time) reviews
Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? It didn't have the guts.
Edgar Allan Poe - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 256 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/30/2018 - Complete
Fifty Shades: As Told by Christian reviews
Deja Vu walked into a bar. Deja Vu walked into a bar. Deja Vu walked into a bar...
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/29/2018 - Complete
Towelie Says: DON'T DROWN!
I'm high on life. And heroin. But mostly life. I promise. Just kidding, I'm high on crystal meth.
South Park - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 370 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/31/2018 - Published: 6/3/2018
Footprints in the Sand reviews
If life is a highway, then Mondays are the potholes.
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 654 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/27/2018 - Published: 7/26/2018
Barackula Revisited
Two flies land on a piece of poop. Before he eats, one fly lowers his head and begins to pray. When he's done, the other fly asks him, "Was your prayer answered, Joe?" "No," the first fly says. "It's still poop."
Dracula 2000 - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 928 - Published: 7/16/2018 - Complete
The Prisoner reviews
They say a barking dog doesn't bite. Now, I know that, and you know that, but does the dog know it?
Crossover - Doctor Who & The Prisoner - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,052 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/16/2018 - Complete
Obama, Joe Biden, & Me
"I'd KILL for a Nobel Peace Prize." -B.O.
Crossover - Pulp Fiction & Full Metal Jacket - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,252 - Published: 6/7/2018 - Complete
Fifty Shades of Grey Hair I reviews
I wish I could take credit, but these stories are based on classic naughty jokes. Such as: "An Irish toast: 'To my wife and girlfriend. May they never meet.'"
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 16,634 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 4/6/2018 - Published: 8/2/2014 - Anastasia S. - Complete
A Christmas Canine reviews
It would probably be better if you didn't read this.
A Christmas Carol - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 704 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/16/2017 - Complete
Stephen King's IT Parody Song reviews
Sing to the tune of "Ruby (Don't Take Your Love To Town)" by Mel Tillis. By the way, why doesn't glue stick to the INSIDE of the bottle?
IT - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 177 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/27/2017 - Complete
Roswell! Alien Abduction Capital of the World!
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
Roswell - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/1/2017
Queen Elizabeth's Sapphire Jubilee reviews
The quickest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Princess Bride - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 969 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/8/2017
GRANDPA PI reviews
Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two or three hours?
MAGNUM P.I. - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 928 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/2/2017
It's A Wonderful Legacy reviews
How come we put a man on the moon before we realized it would be a good idea to put luggage on wheels?
Crossover - It's a Wonderful Life & Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,037 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/26/2016 - Complete
Rudolph the Red-Faced Reindeer reviews
Did you hear about the old lady who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 916 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/1/2016 - Complete
Men Are From Mars, Women Are Just Crazy reviews
The problem with the gene pool? No lifeguard.
Titanic - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 985 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 11/5/2016
Psychic or Psycho? reviews
Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety-one"?
Twilight Zone - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 898 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/8/2016 - Complete
Barackula
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Dracula - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,423 - Updated: 9/27/2016 - Published: 7/14/2015
Climbing Everest! reviews
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will get in and clean them?
Misc. Movies - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 664 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/6/2016 - Complete
November 22, 1963 reviews
I've been in love with the same woman for the last 49 years. I hope my wife never finds out about it.
Quantum Leap - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/22/2015
LEE DANIELS' The Butler
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Misc. Movies - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 139 - Published: 8/4/2015
Mark Twain, Spinning In His Grave reviews
I always hold my wife's hand. It's the only way I can keep her from shopping.
Adventures of Tom Sawyer - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,889 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/24/2015 - Published: 7/14/2015
To Kill A Mockingbird, Too reviews
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean the fifth person enjoys it?
To Kill a Mockingbird - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 509 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/22/2015 - Atticus F.
A Very Scarface Christmas reviews
The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
Scarface - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/19/2015
A Dog's Life reviews
Drunk is feeling sophisticated but not being able to pronounce it.
Planet of the Apes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 460 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/16/2015
Ozombie bin Laden reviews
There was a beautiful woman banging on my door all night. I finally had to let her out.
Walking Dead - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 862 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/15/2015
SpongeBob SillyPants
Eating too much, buying too much, and drinking too much are what doctors call symptoms of stress. I call that the perfect day.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 632 - Published: 7/14/2015
Disney plus George Lucas equals Monkeys! reviews
If you try to fail and succeed at it, which have you done?
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 631 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/13/2015
The Lost Seinfeld Episode reviews
How come just one careless match can cause a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Seinfeld - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 241 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/19/2015
Lucy (Using One Hundred Per Cent Of Her Brain) reviews
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Lucy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/2/2014 - Complete
