UPDATE: Apr 27 - Chapter 17 of Tanglewood is posted.

Apr 30 - Chapter 2 of How to Catch a Goblin King is up too.

Welcome... Bienvenue... Failte...

I'm a long time reader of fan fiction (a.k.a. purveyor of procrastination) and now a two time writer (see below). I believe all wit should be delivered viciously. I originally joined fanfic in order to procrastinate writing papers in uni. Then one day - many years later - I decided to write one myself... and somehow it ended up being the most reviewed and most faved story in its fandom on FF. I seriously have no clue how that happened and I feel like I got you all drunk and that one day you'll sober up and feel very poorly used, but thanks :) I love people who have brief but edifying profiles. This is not one of those profiles.

About moi:

Pierre Berton said a Canadian is "someone who can make love in a canoe." It takes skills. Bring life jackets and only attempt in summer.

My studies were in English Lit and Poli Sci and now I have a real, grown up adult-type job. I'm married to a kilt-wearing, guitar playing dude. We have three human beasties because we decided to be outnumbered. They actively abet my inability to write and update on any kind of schedule (and they destroy my house daily because they are indoor terrorists). We also have a feline overload, a monstrously huge dog, fish and a dragon because we are a goddamned zoo. All of our clothes and food have a fine dusting of fur. Always.

I collect antique and Folio edition books and am an uber geek/ nerd. I game. I have cosplayed Labyrinth (Sarah) many times and Star Wars a handful (Starkiller Base - I was pregnant). I love shoes (the higher the heel the better), corsets, pin-up art, antiques and HP sauce and garlic salt on French toast (it's delicious). I love fishing and swimming and cottage life, and I think life in general tastes better with a gin and tonic in hand. Irish pubs are where adventures happen and where husbands are met.

Fanfiction/ Writing:

Irish roots tend to influence my writing - see Goblin Market for proof. I love to incorporate mythology and bend rules and mix origins and add too many footnotes. I love the Oxford comma and I'm having an affair with the em dash. I'm a grammar pedant who still makes mistakes and typos (I don't use a Beta). It's a conflicted existence - be forewarned. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE writing the chase and lost of UST (followed by smut, baby).

Give me 'bad guy gets the girl' anyday. I'll always root for the anti-hero/ villain provided he's both attractive and witty - preferably viciously so.

Readers (and reviews) mean a lot to me. I write for myself but I write for them (you) too. People who have made fan art of my stories MAKE me SO happy. I am a review whore. Give me, give me! I will never withhold a chapter for reviews though. That's just mean. If you review I will probably reply just to say hi and answer your questions.

I would love to write a real, grown up proper book and get it published by a proper, grown up company, but I am a devout procrastinator. If I ever do I will shill it here so hard.

If you've cared enough to read this far, thanks for the visit and feel free to drop me a line and tell me about yourself. I can also be found on tumblr, Deviant Art, facebook, and Archive of Our Own.

Cheers,
Vic Wit

viciously.witty@

My Stories:

The Goblin Market

Nine years after defeating the Labyrinth, Sarah is in Ireland - a land of old magic, where legend suggests her victory comes with a price and her story is far from finished. Something ancient has been set in motion and Sarah finds herself at the centre of a very old, very goblin, tradition.

As time passes, fruit ripens.

Let the feast begin at the Goblin Market...

This piece was largely inspired by a smattering of Celtic myths and my time spent in Ireland (particularly at The Hill of Tara and Newgrange). I also reference some literary works, music, etc that have helped flush the story out. The title is taken from the Christina Rossetti poem of the same name.

You can also find my story on Archive of Our Own: http:///works/2142213/chapters/4679844

Tanglewood

Words have power. They are woven to beguile and to ensnare - like twisted branches of a tree. They lie in shadow – filled with purpose and intent. Filled with old magic. Sarah really should have known better. Norse gods, ancient rituals, the chase… He waits. It all began with a book; it is only fitting that it should end with one.

Enter the Tanglewood...

This story is something I've been mulling over since I finished Goblin Market. There is no connection between the stories, although there may be some future crossovers of original characters from GM into Tanglewood. I really wanted to touch on Norse mythology since I'd had so much fun mucking about with the Irish. It will be a learning experience for me as I am no expert in that field and don't know that much about it.

Expect a similarly dark Jareth and a similarly forthright Sarah. It's how I like to write them and it's how I see the evolution of the characters. That said, my villains are always redeemable - WHETHER or not they are actually redeemed in the end.

The Art Class

A study of paint and peaches. Jareth takes an art class or four times Sarah was naked in front of the Goblin King.

A one shot about the perils and rewards of nude modelling. A bit of... something sparked by a backstory I gave Sarah in Tanglewood. The stories are not connected.

Of Tape and Feathers

"I think we both know you aren't going anywhere. That you are very much in my power." The world spun and a moment later she felt her back hit the wall of the throne room. Bands of silver slithered across her skin and pinned her to the stone until she was all but immobile. Trussed up like the owl that had started it all. "And the fun, Sarah mine, has only just begun."

A PWP in three parts.

This was born from a ficlet prompt on LFFL on Facebook. I could not resist. It's basically smut with a dash of plot. Slide side of crack.

Avatar:

Credit goes to https : // antiquecameo . / art / Warhammer-Witch-2-295591786

FanArt (all available on Deviant Art):

*Note - since cracked down and blacklisted most of the internet, I can't link to deviant art any more. That's where they are hosted. Try removing the spaces I put in or search by author's name or piece (or use the code). Please take the time to visit them and give the artists some love.

Goblin Market:

"Fallen" by Enelen, was inspired by chapter 6 in Goblin Market. Check it out. Delightfully creepy and talented! Be sure to let the artist know what you think.

http : // enelen . deviantart . com / art / Fallen - 196524311

This piece of artwork, "Drowning" by Jenuefa, was ALSO inspired by chapter 6 in Goblin Market. Check it out too. In particular, the goblin faces are really bang on. And again, please let the artist know what you think.

http : // jenuefa . deviantart . com / art / Drowning - 310803801

Tanglewood:

Little-lanthe made this kick-ass piece for Tanglewood entitled "Greedy Fingers" from chapter 4 and holy hell it's great! Please go see.

http : // www . deviantart . com / art / Greedy-Fingers - 547018190

Recommendations (if you're still reading):

Literature:

P.G. Wodehouse, Dorothy Parker, Terry Pratchett, Tom Robbins, Edward Gorey, Michael Ondaatje, Robertson Davies, Stuart McLean, Georgette Heyer, Jane Austen (Mr. Darcy!), Edward Eager, Susan Cooper, Clive Barker (Abarat series is super underrated fantasy), Stephen King (The Shining is the most terrifying book ever).
And yes, I have read all the HP books and LoTR and love them.

I've always had a soft spot for (ir)redeemable villains and sarcastic male leads.
I'm really not sure how I feel about the Labyrinth Manga. Let's just say that I've tucked them on a bookshelf and sort have forgotten they exist, m'kay?

Movies:

Labyrinth, Willow, Legend, Ladyhawke, Princess Bride (80's ruled for fantasy). A & E version of Pride and Prejudice (that wet shirt), 1930's Thin Man movie series (Myrna Loy and William Powell are my couple goal). Han Solo shot first and Kylo Ren is *squee*. Buffy should have ended up with Spike. (Most of the) Marvel movies (give me MORE Loki). Go see Wonder Woman. We need more kick ass women. Rey is NOT a Mary Sue.

Music:

The National, David Bowie, Imagine Dragons, Kings of Leon, Mumford & Sons, The Frames, Dan Mangan, Arcade Fire, K-os, Florence & the Machine, Sarah McLachlan, Great Big Sea, Tragically Hip, Ours, Sigur Ros, Kaleo, Bruce Springsteen, Twenty One Pilots & U2 pretty much own my ipod. I still enjoy some Coldplay and James Blunt even though they are apparently uncool.

Games:

Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Fable, and Elder Scrolls are tops. SO MANY HOURS.