![]() Author has written 10 stories for Teen Titans. Well, I was never too sure about a profile, once I had one, then I deleted it, than made one again, then deleted it again, and now . . . it looks like I made one, again. It will probably end up being deleted, but, who knows? Maybe it won't be. ~PM me if you need to know or ask me something. I'm a Teen Titans freak, Robin and Raven are meant to be together, Bleach kicks ass, I don't update as much as I should, and I really love music. My favourite band right now is Three Days Grace. XxX I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!" Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn Watch your thoughts; They become words. Watch your words; They become actions. Watch your actions; They become habits. Watch your habits; They become your character. Watch your character; It becomes your destiny. XxX Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." "I called your boyfriend gay and he slapped me with his purse." "I never said I was normal... you just presumed I was." "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." I can't go to Hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me. That's not a haircut, that's a cry for help. If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving is not for you. I'm so broke I can't even pay attention. Would you like a side of epic with that fail? Some people worry about leaving the stove on. I worry about the zombie uprising. My imaginary friend thinks you have problems. "Latte" is Italian for "you paid too much for that coffee." Just remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off. I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends! Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs. Silence is Golden, but Duct Tape is Silver. You're just jealous cause the little voices only talk to me. I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity... It still works. "People say violence isn't the answer. Well, they're right. Violence is the question. The answer is 'HELL YES'." Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines. Dear Homework, you are unattractive; therefore, I cannot do you. Toyota: Moving Forward (even when you press the brakes). I blame Disney for my high expectations in boys. "Flying is not inherently dangerous; crashing is." "If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?" There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon." "Beware of the letter "G." It is the end of everything." That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work. It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys. When all else fails, use duct tape. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? "I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! " A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. You're a great friend but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you. "Doctors say I have a multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that." Smile: it confuses people Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me. Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many. Last night, I laid in bed looking up at the stars, and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" "Don't play dumb with me, I'll always win." "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." "What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" Well, no shit, smart guy! After you find it, you stop looking! Whose cruel idea was it to put "S" in the word "Lisp"? "Computers make very accurate mistakes. (2+2=3 Calculated in 0.000000001 seconds)" "If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room." "Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door..." When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it! The U.K. gives us Harry Potter, and what to we give in return? Twilight...I'm sorry England... The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I didn't lose my mind! I sold it on eBay. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder. When in doubt, make up words. I'm the kind of person would spend hours trying to drown a fish. Don't knock on Death's door; ring the bell and run- he hates that What happens if you get scared half to death twice? You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. "Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark." "I have not lost my mind; it's backed up on a disk somewhere." "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." When I say LOL, I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say. I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do, kill me? A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Strength is nothing more than how well you can handle the pain. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? |