Baaaack! :D I'd give you the long backstory as to where i've been... but it's boring really. School, finals, dental surgery, broken arm, yada yada marching band drumline. That sums it up! Enjoy! :D

Ch 13

MAIL BAG:

BG-13 – Thanks :D It really means a lot to me :(D

Dcandthebirds112446 – thanks to you :D

DeadlyDarkAngel – thanks for reading :D

Cookies-For-Cats22 – thanks! I love when people scream at computer screens :D I do that all the time! There should be clubs for situations like that…

Luna827 – hey, he's not known for being the most observant… ;0D

Nami Uchiha 1313 – thanks :D and updates will become more frequent as soon as I reclaim my sold soul. (aka when marching band seasons over ;)

New york Mike –- Thanks, and I'll attempt to keep this epic :D

Quoththeraven1103 – Thanks :D and they're my favorite characters too :D

Khositas – LOL and I'm sure Raven-er, Rachel will appreciate you hug anyway… ;)

She got out alive – Thanks :D And you should watch the Breakfast Club, it's a great movie :D And I agree that Slade would be a very scary teacher xD

Black rose-raven angel – Where was he? Somewhere in music land… ;) And the moral of the movie's a little different… ;D

AllPEACENoWAR25 – Welcome to the story, and thanks!

Rangermaid – Thanks :D And Bruce won't be too mean… but hey, he IS Batman, and as a teen exaggeration is Robby's best friend… ;)

Lpwriter4life – thanks :D

(Anon) – thanks :D

Onwards to story land :D

Actually, a note first: SPOILERS!: With this… particular character, I had lots of trouble. Do I turn him into an in disguise batman? Wintergreen? Someone funny like mad mod or control freak? Then I realized: Carl is already perfect as he is. So here we go… ;)

Tick… Tick… Tick…

Everyone miserably looked at the clock. Richard, noticing the time, vocalized for everyone: "Aww, fuck!"

"Pretty much, dude. Pretty much…" Gar agreed, glad for an albeit temporary distraction.

"You know, for a guy who's supposed to be real… bright –" Gar paled at the word, "You say 'dude' an awful lot, don't you?" He sighed with relief, and shakily answered.

"Uhh… I guess. But it's not like if you're smart you've automatically got good grammar, or vice versa…"

"You mean like Kori?" Dick quietly muttered to Gar, who flushed with embarrassment at his faux pas. "I mean, her grammar, when she's not attempting slang, is as pristine as a proper princess… ain't it?"

"Uh…"

"Meanwhile… well, she isn't exactly the brightest cookie in the jar now, is she?"

"I'm not gonna- she's like, right there!"

"Yea, jamming out to Katie Perry or some other bullshit while makin' gaga eyes at Jockstrap."

"Dude, do you not know anything? Girls are tricky."

"You sayin' she's fakin' out? Not listenin' to anything but this absolutely riveting conversation?"

"I'm just saying that girls can be sneaky…"

"Oh, so this is becoming the general consensus. Spectacular," Rachel chimed in sarcastically. "Is there any hope for humanity?"

"Depends," Dick started, turning to her, "Ever seen the movie 'The Fox and the Hound'? It's some Disney flick."

Eyes narrowed in suspicion she answered, "I've read the original book…"

"Daniel P. Mannix, good man… you ever see the Disney flick though?"

"Disney screwed up that book too?" Gar asked, horrified.

Mock shocked, Dick retorted, "Do we have a Disney hater in the room?"

"Only when they try to be historically accurate and completely destroy any sense of credibility within the first five-"

"Oh wah, so you watched 'Pocahontas' in social studies. Big deal. It's Disney – they were probably so busy repressing memories of school that they didn't realize that was an actual event in history. But back on task here – Rae, you ever seen ze foxie dog flick?"

Rolling her eyes, she reluctantly answered, "Yes, I've seen it. And seriously, don't call me Rae."

"Rae Rae?"

"No."

"Lil R?"

"What do you think?"

"Yes?"

"I don't think so."

"What about Raven?"

"Sounds like a hooker name."

"Moving on…" Gar swiftly interrupted, looking over at Dick, mischief written all over the latter's face.

"Hmm…" Dick mused.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Well it's just- nah, you wouldn't take me seriously…"

"About what?"

"Well… its just that- nah, I cant… I don't have an opening line… hmm… but then again…"

"Huh?"

"You have an opening and… I have a line…"

"Wait excuse-"

"So if you had a superpower, what'd it be, Dick?" Gar again cut in, trying to give his fellow dude one last chance to live.

"I already have a superpower, Gar – I've got mad fine skills with the fairer species!"

"Pshh yea. Right," he 'agreed' with a roll of his eyes.

"I bet it does take skill to scare off every one you meet…" Rachel mused aloud.

"Why, you 'fraid of me ravy-gravy? Y'think I'm too man for ya?"

"As if."

"Well why don't you come over here and find out?"

"In your dreams."

"If that's my dreams, I can't wait to see reality."

"You're sick."

"Then will you be my doctor?"

"Grow up!"

"I'd rather grow down, enjoy the stunning view for a while longer…"

"Are you trying to earn yourself a fat lip?"

"Well, after you punch me will you kiss it all better?"

"You're impossible."

"Says little miss hard to get…"

"What's there to get?"

"Your attention, to start. How many polar bears does it take to fill a room?"

"Wha-"

"Enough to break the ice. (= it worked, didn't it?"

"Shut up… ugh just-" she looked around for a distraction, "what time is it?"

"How bout you ask nicely. Suppose along the lines of 'do you have…?'"

"Ugh. Do you have the time?"

"Of course – do you have the energy?"

"Fuck you!"

"Well if you insist…"

She sighed with annoyance.

"Ohh rather impatient are we? Don't worry- I'd be impatient if I were you too…"

"I am not going to respond to you're juvenile attempts at –"

"Juvenile? You calling me jail bait? Well then send me to prison – don't worry, I don't mind the cuffs."

"Sick, disgusting –"

"Wanna know something cool? I'm Romani. Do you have any gypsy in you…? You don't, do you? Well, would you like some?"

"About as much as you'd like a kick to the-"

"Ooh, so you like it rough?" he teased.

"Wouldn't know…" she snarkily admitted, as Dick shoved a handful of her potato chips in his mouth, much to her annoyance.

"Wanna find ou-" his voice was cut off as he started coughing, holding his hands to his throat, looking at her with desperation.

"Are you- are you choking!" She asked, not quite sure what to do. He nodded in response. Her panic meter started to go up, as Dick scribbled on a piece of paper:

*I need mouth to mouth! Quick!*

She gave him a hard look as he promptly swallowed the rest of the chips, and burst out laughing. "Ughh I should've known!"

"Aww come on, I think you're just getting into it! Not to mention getting in-"

"I don't wanna hear it!"

"Those pants look nice on you – I think I would too." She glared at him, then turned her gaze to Gar, who she found was laughing along.

"Really, Gar? Really?"

"Alright, alright, ill stop, yeesh," he muttered, trying to muffle his laughter, failing miserably.

"I guess I'll stop too…" Richard amended, much to Rachel's relief.

"THANK you for that!"

"But let me tell you, most chicks want me to keep going…" looking back at Rachel, he swiftly added, "Aww, come on, Rae, don't do that… you know, bashing your head on a table won't make me go away – it'll just make you see ten of me."

"Well we know we don't want that happening…"

"Aww come on, it wasn't that bad, and you know it! I even stuck to the less disgusting pickup lines!"

"You mean you have worse?" she cried in despair.

He smiled at her, admitting, "Yep! This is Gotham after all! Wanna hear some really bad ones I've heard?"

"NO!"

"Kidding, yeesh!" he said, putting his hands in his jacket pockets. Confusion rolled over his face as he felt something in the right pocket. With amusement, he realized it was the screw from the door he had taken earlier. He looked over at Rachel.

"Hey… Rae?"

"What?" she asked with a sigh. He held up the tool.

"Do you want a screw?"

Her response? Well, textbooks can be useful after all…

"Yo! What was that for?" he asked, peeking up from behind the desk, textbook flying through the air.

"For being an idiot!" she seethed.

"Okay, maybe I did deserve that…"

"Kid, you deserve whatever's thrown at you. Especially if you threw some idiocracy first." Everyone's heads shot up at the new voice, besides Dick who just smiled.

"Hey, Carl! Supp?"

"Cleaning up after shitheads like you, that's what's up." Dick just smirked, nodding at the school janitor. Noticing Vic was out of his previous daze, he decided to cause more trouble.

"How ya doin' Gar?" The boy just nodded back.

"That your dad or somethin'?" Dick muttered to Gar, who immediately shook his head no.

"No way!" he whispered back.

Dick just smirked. "Hey, Carl, Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"How does one… become a janitor?"

He scoffed back, "You wanna be a janitor?"

"No," he amended, rolling his eyes, "I'm just wondering how one becomes a janitor, because Vic here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts." Vic's head shot up at those words, looking over at Dick with a venomous look.

"I wanna what?"

"Oh, really?" Carl shot back, glaring at Vic with his buggy eyes. "You think I'm some untouchable peasant? Peon? Huh?"

He reached for a garbage bag, as everyone save Dick rolled their eyes. Carl continued, "Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for the past eight years I've learned a couple of things... I read your texts off of confiscated phones, I look through your lockers…" Dick grinned in awe and respect. "I listen to your conversations," Kori's jaw dropped. "You don't know that, but I do." Vic's expression turned weary.

"I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends!" Carl checked his watch, then looked back up at the clock that had so wearily been watching, "By the way – that clock's twenty minutes fast."

He left the room as everyone groaned besides Dick who just smiled, Rachel who glared and the clock, and Vic who proclaimed, "Shit!"

LOL So yea, Carl is Carl no matter where Carl is :D lol he's spectacular. Wanna tell me whatcha think of Carl? Have you seen the movie? Do you love/hate my story? Need to rant about the New DCU? Marvel fans driving you loco? Just wanna leave a review out of the niceness in your heart? There's a button for that.

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**plus five epic points for anyone who caught the Amanda Show reference!