Who: Clarissa Gavin. Not actually my real name. Shocker, right?
What: A white female human of no particular beauty.
When: Don't you know it's not polite to ask a lady her age?
Where: United States. East coast. South. A city.
Why: Dude, I don't know. Why freaking not?

Hi guys! Clarissa here! But you knew that already, didn't ya? I mean, it's right up there. Anyway, thanks for visiting my profile; I hope it helps you understand what kind of a person I am. I think it's really important to know your favorite writers (even if they are amatuer fanfiction writers). XD

Shout-outs to my homies Sophie Trite, my sister and shamelessly cruel idea wall; Vorel Larek, my bestest bud, fellow brony and true Whovian; and Will, who is my favorite person in the whole wide world.

And now, a note to the FBI: Hello government agent(s)! I know you are reading this right now because I am not stupid. That, of course, makes me a threat. I know you've gotta be really busy fighting terror (or not, what do I know?), so I'll make this quick. I'm a socialist. Yeah, so, I'm not really sure what you want to do about that, but I figured I'd tell you so you wouldn't have to waste your time investigating. My parents were totally hippies, which you know, which is why you're observing me. I guess I should tell you I'm not a threat. Not yet, anyway. I'm angry, sure, but not enough to blow shit up yet. But when I am, I'll tell you here. Let's hope you guys are more on top of it than you were with the underwear bomber. Anyway, have a great rest of your day. Hope it's not Wednesday. Wednesdays suck.

Things I've watched/played/read (and ships therefrom):

Anime: Monster (Johan/Tenma, Johan/Nina)

Games: Trauma Center (Derek/Tyler, Victor/Derek, Victor/Tyler, Gabe/Maria, RONI/Gabe, Gabe/Naomi, Gabe/CR-S01, Gabe/Hank, Naomi/Navel), Phoenix Wright (Gavincest, Kristoph/Phoenix, Phoenix/Edgeworth, Klavier/Apollo, Franziska/Adrian, Akbey/Franziska, T. Badd/B. Faraday/C. Yew), Professor Layton (DescoLay)

Books: Sword of Truth, Good Omens (Crowley/Aziraphale), The Graveyard Book (Silas/The Lady), The Book of Lost Things (Roland/Raphael) and The Gates

REQUEST STATUS: OPEN
I'm back in business, baby! Taking requests for the following catagories:

Monster (Seven Heads and Ten Horns) - Drabbles on any topic. Series is finished, so spoiler requests are fine.
Trauma Team (Making Progress) - Anything involving Albert Sartre and Mini!CR-S01.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. (Yes, it is possible to be both Jewish and an atheist. XD)
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. (Why yes, I am, but that's not the point.)
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (True.)
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly. (True.)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (Also true.)
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. (See ANTI-DEPRESSANTS.)
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. (Check.)
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (Check.)
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. (Check.)
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (SUPER CHECK!)
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (Yup.)
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (Wouldn't count this one out just yet. Come get me, feds!)
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. (I write fanfiction. What about that is NOT childish?)
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. (Oh so much yes.)
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.