WARNING: LONG PROFILE IS LOOOOOOOONG.

Name: Classified.

Age: (slaps)

Boy or Girl: Girl...Alien. HA HA HA HA HA! PUNY EARTHLINGS!

Location: RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!

Country: Planet X.

Fav people:

Lewis Black

Kbunny10(I'm featured in a few of her stories!)

Jim Cummings

Jim Gaffigan

Mitch Hedberg

2NE1

Everyone at HellFireComms

Fav shows:

Scrubs

South Park

Family Guy

Whose Line Is It Anyway?

The Smoking Gun presents: World's Dumbest

Futurama

Johnny Bravo

Ed, Edd, and Eddy

6Teen

Fav Movies:

All the Pirates movies

Beauty and the Beast

Aladdin

Toy Story 1 &2

Finding Nemo

Up

Enchanted

Airplane!

Spaceballs

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Bruce Almighty

Yes Man(Can you tell I'm a Jim Carrey fan?)

The Grinch that Stole Christmas(both versions)

The Cat in the Hat(Mike Meyers version)

RENT

Across the Universe

A Collection of Quotes

Media

Form of an Ice Menorah!!-JD, Scrubs

Frick on a stick with a brick!!-Elliot, Scrubs

I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh…. Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, ‘The O.C.’, the U.N., recycling, getting Punk’d, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything–eve–everything that exists — past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. Oh! And Hugh Jackman.-Dr. Cox, Scrubs

You couldn't push my buttons if you tried. In fact, I have no buttons. Please think of me as button-less, all smooth like G.I Joe's nether-regions. And, by the by, this image is brought to you by my son Jack, who has been yanking the pants off of his toy soldiers and leaving them in provocative positions on my nightstand. It is... just disturbing enough so that, leaving the house, I'm cranky and less able to suffer fools which brings me back to you - THE FOOL. I'm done suffering you so go now. Go... go before you can write a book entitled "Help! A Large Doctor is Beating My Ass COLON, The Lester Hedrick Story"- Dr. Cox, Scrubs

Hiya! My name is Bob Kelso and I like whores! Now, why don't I introduce myself like that? Because there is a time and a place for the truth.-Scrubs

Hey champ. What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? (points at self with two thumbs) Bob Kelso, how ya doin'?-Scrubs

Butters, I'm not just sure-I'm HIV positive.-Cartman, South Park

In just two easy steps I can come over there and punch you right in the f(bleep)ing balls!-Billy Mays, South Park

You shot me in both knees, then lit me on fire. Piss off.-Brian, Family Guy

(when asked to give their best pig call) Hey Judy! JUUUDY! Judy, come over here! (cut to Judy looking muderous)-Brad Loekle, World's Dumbest

(long sigh) I hate people.-Judy Gold, World's Dumbest

(referring to a boy who tried a backflip off an MnM machine and failed, giving himself a concussion) There was a full second or two where I felt really bad before I remembered, "Oh, that's right, I don't care about you."-Danny Bonaduce, World's Dumbest

Wow! I wish I could speak whale.-Dory, Finding Nemo

Honey, please. He was a gynecologist and he STILL didn't have a clue.-Maya, Only in a Woman's World

One plus one equals one on a bun.-Ed, Ed, Edd, and Eddy

I am Ed! Cheese and macaroni!!-Ed, Ed, Edd, and Eddy's Big Picture Show

The hills are alive, Eddy!-Ed, Ed, Edd, and Eddy's Big Picture Show

(Scroob) Can't you stop [the self destruct mechanism]?!? (Sanders) I can't, it's irreversible! (Scroob) (to himself) Like my raincoat...-Spaceballs

(Juno) Wow, your shorts are like, especially gold today. (Paulie) Uh, my mom uses color-safe bleach. (Juno) Go Carol. -Juno

(Adoption agent) So, we all agree that a closed adoption is the best decision for all involved? (Juno) SSHHHIT! Yes! Close it up!-Juno

You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events. -Juno, Juno

(Vanessa) Your parents are probably wondering where you are. (Juno) Nah. I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kinds of shenanigans could I get into? -Juno

I think the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you, for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, pretty, ugly, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines on your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with. -Mac, Juno

We're all jerks. You, me, this jerk (points to random guy) That's my policy.-Bender, Futurama

Hey universe, check out the dude with the Rolex!- Bender, Futurama

(Woody) Look, we're all very impressed with Andy's new toy- (Buzz) Toy? (Woody) T-O-Y, tooooyyy. (Buzz) Excuse me, I think the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger". (Woody) The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are preschool toys present. - Toy Story

(Buzz) I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet. (Woody) Oh. Well, that's good. (Buzz)...But we're not on my planet, are we? (Woody) No-(Buzz attacks Woody) GAAAAH-OOF!! -Toy Story

(Buzz) Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness. And *you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command! (Woody) ...YOU! ARE! A! TOY-EEEEEE!!!!! You're not the real Buzz Lightyear, you're-you're an action fi-gure!!! You are a child's plaything!!! (Buzz)...You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity. Farewell. -Toy Story

(Woody) Buzz, hey, Buzz are you okay? (Buzz) GONE! (sobs) It's all gone. All is gone, bye-bye, woo, see ya! (Woody) What happened to you? (Buzz) One minute you're defending the whole galaxy...And SUUDENLY you find yourself sucking down Darjeeling with...(whispers, indicating the two headless dolls) Marie Antoinette and her little sister. (chuckles crazily) (Woody) ...I think you've had enough tea for today, let's get you out of here, Buzz- (Buzz) DON'T YOU GET IT?!? You see the hat?!?!? I am Mrs. Nes-bit!! (laughs maniacally) (Woody) SNAP OUT OF IT, BUZZ! (brings Buzz's helmet down, slaps him with his own arm, and brings the helmet back up) (Buzz)...I-I-I'm sorry, I'm, you are right, I am just a little depressed, that's all. I-I can get through this...OH, I'M A SHAM!! (Woody) Shh! (Buzz) Look at me, I can't even fly out the window! (He keeps talking as Woody forms a plan) The hat looked good, tell me the hat looked good? The apron is a bit much- (Woody) Out the window! Buzz, you're a genius! Come on, let's go! (He drags Buzz) (Buzz) Years of Academy training wasted! -Toy Story

(Sarge) Molly's first present is...Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head! (Hamm) Way to go, Ida-ho! (Mr. Potato Head) Gee, I'd better shave! (Pulls off mustache) -Toy Story

(Jessie) YEEEEE-HAAAAAH!!! (Woody) AAAH! (Jessie) (hugs Woody) It's you!! It's-you-it's-you-it's-you-(gives noogie) It's reeeallly YOU!!! (Woody) What's me? (Jessie) (pulls Woody back and forth like a yo-yo by his string) Wooo! (listens) (Woody's voice chip) There's a snake in my boot! (Jessie) (gasp) It IS you!! (Woody) Please stop saying that. (Jessie) (hug) Oh, Prospector said someday you'd come-(gasp) Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln!! The Prospector!! He'll wanna meetcha!! -Toy Story 2

(Jessie) Everyone knows YOUR name, Woooo-deeeeeeeeee. -Toy Story 2

(Woody) (to Jessie) What is your problem?! Look, I'm sorry I can't help you guys out, really, I am, but you didn't have to go and pull a stunt like that! (Jessie) Wh-ya think I did that? (Woody) Oh sure, the television just HAPPENED to turn on and the remote MAGICALLY appeared in front of you! (Jessie) Are you callin' me a liar?! (Woody) Well, if the boot fits. (Jessie) (glare) Say that again. (Woody) If. The boo-TAH. Fits. (Jessie) (adjusts hat) Okay, Cowboy. (the two start wrestling) -Toy Story 2

(Al) Oh, thank you, you're a genius-HE'S JUST LIKE NEW! (cut to display case in Al's Toy Barn that proclaims "New!")-Toy Story 2

(Woody) I don't have a choice, Buzz. This is my only chance. (Buzz) To do what, Woody?! Watch kids from behind glass and never be loved again? Some life. -Toy Story 2

(Buzz) Uh-ma-m'am? I, uh-(clears throat) Well, I just wanted to say you're a...bright young woman with a-beautiful yarn full of hair. Hair full of yarn! It's uh, oh, um-(clears throat) I must go. (makes to run away) (Jessie) (pulls him back) Well, aren't you the sweetest space toy I ever met! -Toy Story 2

(Buzz) You still worried? (Woody) About Andy? Nah. It'll be fun while it lasts. (Buzz) I'm proud of you, Cowboy. (Woody) Besides, when it all ends, I'll have old Buzz Lightyear to keep me company. For infinity and beyond. -Toy Story 2

(Jessie) Buzz, we're your friends! (Buzz) Spare me your lies, Temptress. Your Emperor is dead, and I am immune to your bewitching good looks. -Toy Story 3

Being in a relationship, that's something you choose. Being friends, that's just something you are. -Tiny, Will Grayson, Will Grayson

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