¡Hola, todos! Hey, everybody! My name's Girlbender, for Katara, Azula, and Toph: awesome girls who can kick anybody's butt with their bending! I am a major Star Wars, Harry Potter, White Collar, Lord of the Rings, Rurouni Kenshin, Sherlock, Doctor Who, and Avatar: The Last Airbender fan.

My stories are relatively harmless; just adventure, angst, drama, hurt/comfort, etc. I write purely for fun, so my updates can be stable or sporadic depending on inspiration. I do tend to love overworking myself, so that will likely affect how much time I have to write.

Well, that's about it for me. I hope you all enjoy my stories, and don't be afraid to give me tips! And, uh, just ignore all the begging for reviews in my earlier stories; I was a young teen when I wrote a lot of this stuff, so I was excessively emotional, haha. I do still love reviews, though, and I always find feedback helpful. ;)

NOTES:

(7/30/20) So nursing school and working rescue squad in a pandemic are currently kicking my butt. Do not expect updates lol, if I get a second to breathe I'll probably update my lighter stuff.

Naboo Rose: Still working on it, I promise!

Chronicles of the Garden: UPDATED. :)

BLS for Reluctant Providers: Have started on the next chapter, will update sometime in the near future because torturing Anakin is amazing mwuahahahaha! Also listening to TCW season seven soundtrack is killing me.

Plot bunnies/upcoming works:

Well, I've only got about five billion of these, lol... I'll just tell you about the ones that have an actual plot to them in my head.

The New Padawan - Star Wars: The Clone Wars slight AU - Ahsoka Tano is eager to become a Padawan and help in the war. When she's assigned a Master, her first mission isn't entirely what she expected; dealing with the Strategic Information Services and covert operations is taxing enough, but her new Master is an enigma as well. The mighty Obi-Wan Kenobi is known for his military prowess and his impeccable command of negotiations, but he's also known for his disgust for the Council and his reluctance to take another student. Will Ahsoka make it as his Padawan? Main characters: Ahsoka, Obi, OCs. Genre: Adventure. Pairings: None. Rating: K/T, probably T due to violence.

Death Squadron - Star Wars AU - Death Squadron is the most formidable, largest, and oldest fleet in the Empire. Its highlight is its mysterious admiral; no one outside of the fleet has seen him and survived. Now, as the Tantive IV is attacked by the squadron's flagship over Tatooine, Princess Leia braces herself to face and hopefully survive an encounter with this man, this mystery... named Admiral Vader. Main characters: Vader, Imperial OCs, Tarkin, (maybe Mara Jade?), Leia, Luke, Han, Chewie, Obi. Genres: Adventure, drama. Pairings: None, mostly. Rating: T - violence, mainly... some mild adult themes.

The Son of Suns - Star Wars AU from TPM - Watto refuses to let go of his slaves, so Qui-Gon promises to return and free them after his mission. 8 years after his death, Obi-Wan is sent on a mission to track down a Jedi who stole several dangerous holocrons and claims to be the Chosen One. The manhunt leads Obi-Wan to Tatooine... and directly into the life of someone he was sure he'd never meet. Main characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin, OCs. Genre: Adventure. Pairings: Ani/OC, maybe Ani/Padme, also maybe Obi/Satine. Rating: T - violence, mild swearing, mild adult themes.

Heir to the Throne - Star Wars AU from RotS - The duel on Mustafar was interrupted by Palpatine's arrival, leaving Vader unscathed and forcing Obi-Wan to flee. A year later, a fully powerful Darth Vader grows tired of Palpatine and murders him, thinking that he will then inherit the throne. However, there is one stipulation that Palpatine had made to deter Vader: there is an age minimum to the throne, and so it goes to Vader's next of kin. But who is Vader's next of kin? Main characters: Vader, Rex, OC, others you know but I won't reveal the surprise. Genres: Drama, family. Pairings: None. Rating: T - dark themes, political intrigue, violence, murder, etc.

The Secrets of Jiaan - Star Wars AU from RotS - Shortly after Order 66, Obi-Wan is attempting to help rebuild the Jedi Order when he is sent to a small Outer Rim planet called Jiaan to rest and recover. However, his methods of healing become more unconventional than anyone expected when he realizes that the events of Order 66 as he understood them were not what actually came to pass. Main characters: Obi-Wan, OCs, some big name Jedi, brief appearances/mention of Yoda, Bant Eerin. Genres: Adventure, hurt/comfort. Pairings: Ani/Padme. Rating: T - dark themes.

Her Royal Highness - Star Wars AU - Amidst war between Jedi and Sith, a lone mercenary named Skywalker makes his way in the galaxy. When a job he thought was over comes back to haunt him, he finds himself caught in the middle of a power play between Jedi and Sith... and lots of silk and lace. Main characters: Ani, Mace Windu, Luminara Unduli, brief appearance by Hondo Ohnaka. Genres: Adventure, humor. Pairings: None. Rating: T - language and somewhat mild adult themes. NOTE: This story is the first of a series; each story will feature progressively more galaxy-concerning plots and more familiar characters.

The Dragon - Star Wars AU from RotS - When Anakin's fall to the Dark Side quickly shifts to a slip into insanity, the galaxy is left devastated in his wake. Palpatine is overthrown though not defeated, and he won't give up so easily. There's only one other person in the galaxy who can talk sense into Skywalker. As bizarre and frustrating as a Jedi/Sith team is, desperate times call for desperate measures... but will Obi-Wan and Palpatine kill each other before they even get to Anakin? Main characters: Anakin, Palpatine, Obi-Wan. Genres: Adventure, drama, family, hurt/comfort. Pairings: Ani/Padme. Rating: T - maybe some language, but with a Sith as a main character you can bet there will be dark themes.

Braveheart - Star Wars post RotS AU - When Darth Vader worked with Lord Momin to create his fortress on Mustafar, both attempted to open a portal to the Dark Side. However, the Force had a surprise in store for the Sith, leaving the fortress incomplete, Momin dead, and Vader missing. Meanwhile, a weary hermit on Tatooine finds a child in the middle of the desert, and both are completely baffled by the encounter. Main characters: Vader/Anakin, Obi-Wan, Luke Lars family, Palpatine, probably other familiar faces too but I haven't thought about this one too much yet! Genres: Family, adventure. Pairings: None. Rating: T - very dark themes, language.

My pet peeves:

1. Character bashing. If you don't like a character, that's your opinion, and as much as everyone has a right to express their opinion, it should be in a well-mannered, polite, and calm way, not bashing someone you hate. The whole idea is pretty ridiculous if you think about it considering that the character is a two-dimensional piece of fiction.

2. Heterosexual people turned homosexual. Look, I don't agree with active homosexuality, and while I have a great respect for the people with those inclinations since they're human beings like everybody else and deserve to be treated with love, respect, and dignity, I still really hate it when people take characters who are quite clearly shown as heterosexual and put them in a homosexual relationship. So yeah, don't expect any slash or yaoi or whatever from me.

3. Flamers. If you think that someone could write a story better then give them a review that has constructive criticism. For those of you who don't know, constructive criticism is when you state what you think is doing well and then you state what you think could use some improvement. All of this is done in a helpful and optimistic light. People post stuff on fanfiction.net to improve themselves and for the fun of it, not to get beaten down by people who have neither patience nor intellect.

4. Rabid Fans. I don't mind when people are really into a show, movie, book, etc. but it gets really annoying when something happens in a show or movie and then the fans freak out on the writers. HELLO-O, YOU'RE not the creator, THEY ARE. I mean, believe me, I get it; some (a lot) of the stuff in the sequel trilogy makes me pretty frustrated. But it's Disney's story to tell now. We just get to play in that world. Pick and choose your head canon, but don't take it out on real people, whether they be fellow fans, actors, or writers. If there's one thing I've noticed about supposed Star Wars "fans" it's that a lot of them are real jerks. I have no tolerance for situations when people actually go so far as to insult and threaten others. Come on, people. It's bloody fiction; it is not worth somebody's well being or self esteem. If you have a problem, create an AU to fix it, complain with friends, whatever, but don't get hateful with people!

Fan art!

Here is a drawing of Capt. Mentzer and "Luke" from Little One by DarkSora2.1. Thanks, DarkSora! I never even thought anyone would do fan art for one of my fics, lol.

http(colon backslashx2)jumpinsoraa(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash)art(slash)Captain-Ton-Mentzer-and-Luke-153064994

Favorite quotes:

"A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it."

"Fallacies do not cease to become fallacies because they become fashions."

"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered."

"What embitters the world is not excess of criticism, but an absence of self-criticism."

"Among the rich you will never find a really generous man even by accident. They may give their money away, but they will never give themselves away; they are egotistic, secretive, dry as old bones. To be smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it."

"I believe what really happens in history is this: the old man is always wrong; and the young people are always wrong about what is wrong with him. The practical form it takes is this: that, while the old man may stand by some stupid custom, the young man always attacks it with some theory that turns out to be equally stupid."

"The person who is really in revolt is the optimist, who generally lives and dies in a desperate and suicidal effort to persuade other people how good they are."

"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it."

"We have had no good comic operas of late, because the real world has been more comic than any possible opera."

"Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to that arrogant oligarchy who merely happen to be walking around."

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him."

"Once abolish the God, and the government becomes the God."

"If you attempt an actual argument with a modern paper of opposite politics, you will have no answer except slanging or silence."

"He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative."

"For fear of the newspapers politicians are dull, and at last they are too dull even for the newspapers."

"When a politician is in opposition he is an expert on the means to some end; and when he is in office he is an expert on the obstacles to it."

"There cannot be a nation of millionaires, and there never has been a nation of Utopian comrades; but there have been any number of nations of tolerably contented peasants."

"It is true that I am of an older fashion; much that I love has been destroyed or sent into exile."

"The modern city is ugly not because it is a city but because it is not enough of a city, because it is a jungle, because it is confused and anarchic, and surging with selfish and materialistic energies."

"Love means loving the unlovable - or it is no virtue at all."

"Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline."

"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people."

"If there were no God, there would be no atheists."

"The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man."

"The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion, but, on the contrary, of its liberality and humanity. It is shorter to state the things forbidden than the things permitted: precisely because most things are permitted, and only a few things are forbidden."

"These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own."

"If a man called Christmas Day a mere hypocritical excuse for drunkeness and gluttony, that would be false, but it would have a fact hidden in it somewhere. But when Bernard Shaw says that Christmas Day is only a conspiracy kept up by Poulterers and wine merchants from strictly business motives, then he says something which is not so much false as startling and arrestingly foolish. He might as well say that the two sexes were invented by jewellers who wanted to sell wedding rings."

"Men do not differ much about what things they will call evils; they differ enormously about what evils they will call excusable."

"It's not that we don't have enough scoundrels to curse; it's that we don't have enough good men to curse them."

"There is a case for telling the truth; there is a case for avoiding the scandal; but there is no possible defense for the man who tells the scandal, but does not tell the truth."

"Truth is sacred; and if you tell the truth too often nobody will believe it."

"There'd be a lot less scandal if people didn't idealize sin and pose as sinners."

"Idolatry is committed, not merely by setting up false gods, but also by setting up false devils; by making men afraid of war or alcohol, or economic law, when they should be afraid of spiritual corruption and cowardice."

"I say that a man must be certain of his morality for the simple reason that he has to suffer for it."

"The voice of the special rebels and prophets, recommending discontent, should, as I have said, sound now and then suddenly, like a trumpet. But the voices of the saints and sages, recommending contentment, should sound unceasingly, like the sea."

"Most modern freedom is at root fear. It is not so much that we are too bold to endure rules; it is rather that we are too timid to endure responsibilities."

"In the struggle for existence, it is only on those who hang on for ten minutes after all is hopeless, that hope begins to dawn."

"Modern broad-mindedness benefits the rich; and benefits nobody else."

"Price is a crazy and incalculable thing, while Value is an intrinsic and indestructible thing."

"Business, especially big business, is now organized like an army. It is, as some would say, a sort of mild militarism without bloodshed; as I say, a militarism without the military virtues."

"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."

--G. K. Chesterton

"Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation."

"Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation."

"Faith is to believe what you do not see. The reward is to see what you believe."

"Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others."

"Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again."

"God had one son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering."

"He that is kind is free, though he is a slave; he that is evil is a slave, though he be a king."

"He who created us without our help will not save us without our consent."

"If we did not have rational souls, we would not be able to believe."

"If we live good lives, the times are also good. As we are, such are the times."

"It is not the punishment but the cause that makes the martyr."

"It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels."

"Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature."

--Saint Augustine

"Anakin, the most difficult trial a Jedi must face is to look inside oneself. Often we see things we don't like. But these aspects are not set in stone. It is our decisions that shape our destinies."

"Oh, well, just another boring day saving the universe."

"Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?"

--Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi: So, I assume the plan is to crawl through the sewer, work our way to the shield generator, fight our way through the defenses, blow up the generator, knocking out the shield and all our troops swarm in and overwhelm the enemy."

Anakin Skywalker: "Yup, let's go!"

Anakin Skywalker: "Everything I know I learned from you, Master."

Obi-Wan Kenobi: "Oh, if only that were true."

"I'm sorry, Master . You were right. It was a trap, laid out by the Sith, and I ran headlong into it... but I emerged victorious!"

--Anakin Skywalker

Copy and paste time!!

For God so loved the world He gave His one and only Son. For you so loved God that you gave up part of your bio to repost this.

That boy you punched in the hall today? Commited suicide a few minutes ago. That girl you called a slut today? She's a virgin. The boy you called lame? He has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the stairs the other day? She's already being abused at home. That girl you called fat? She's starving herself. The old man you made fun of cause of his ugly scars? He fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. You think you know them. Guess what? You don't!

Repost if you are against bullying.

If you have ever knocked on your head to see if it's hollow, copy this into your profile

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile

If you love writing paste this to your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you think that over 70 percent of the American population doesn't give a flip about responsibility and it drives you INSANE, copy this into your profile

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

In Avatar: The Last Airbender, Princess Azula and Ty Lee are talking. Ty Lee says: "Look if you want a guy to like you, all you gotta do is smile a lot and laugh at anything he says, even if it isn't funny." Azula says: "Well that sounds really shallow and stupid." If you agree with Azula, post this in your profile.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

-- Girlbender875

(P.S. - if you're still reading this, give yourself a pat on the back for getting through the monumental wall of text.)