Sham-a-lang-a-ding-dong.

Say that three times fast. And again. And once more for the record...

Congratulations, you now certifiably look insane! Now stop jibbering at your computer (honestly!) and start reading this demure and sensible profile, home to the one and only...

THE EDITH FACTORY!

Now, despite the misleading name, we are not, actually, a factory that produces little old ladies by the name of Edith. We are actually a gestalt entity of two writers, who individually are known on Fanfiction as Aiko's Night Patrol (That is me. I write in Italics, because, frankly, I rock).and Mooncheese. You, however, may refer to us as Katie and Kelsey.

You may be wondering why, exactly, we decided to call ourselves 'The Edith Factory' (affectionately reffered to as Teffy) Well...it all began several years ago...

FLASHBACK

(Katie and Kelsey are talking sleepily into the wee hours of the morning)

Katie: Blah blah blah...blah blah?

Kelsey: Blah!

Katie: Blah...blah blah...

Kelsey: Oh, I like your curtains. Did Edith make them?

Katie: No, Edith didn't make them. Edith's mother made them.

END FLASHBACK

This conversation proves many things, such as our possible insanity, or our capability to continue a conversation on sheer nothingness for a long time. However, it was also the seed of inspiration for our name: The Edith Factory.

And now I am going to stop writing and let Katie take the wheel for a while...

Good Evening. Welcome to the abode of we two part humans. I am Aiko'sNight-Patrol. I like to think of myself as rather special. I am partial to blood and dark places- but in a vampire-esq way, rather than an emo way.

Here, if I may be so bold, are a few little known facts about me and my werewolf chum.

Until the age of 12, we lived alongside each other in friendship and harmony. However, shortly before I reached teen-hood, we were cruelly ripped apart by my loathsome parents, who moved me to a dark, dingy place in the east of England commonly known as 'the countryside'

Despite living so far apart, we manage to keep in contact through long phone conversations. When I say 'long' I mean 'world-breakingly, fantastically, extraordinarily, parents-screaming-in-horror-at-the-phone-bill-ly' type long. I think our record may have been seven hours, in which we talked right into tomorrow, where we wished each other Happy New Day and then very hastily hung up I got a lot of impressed, or perhaps sympathtic, looks when I mentioned aforementioned conversation to my friends. One of them enquired whether I had ever had such a long conversation with my then boyfriend. I replied that my then boyfriend was incapible of holding a three minute phone conversation. Being male and all.

We often talk to each other in third person. This confirms a) our immense coolness and b) our certified insanity

Example:

"Hello Katie,' said Kelsey. "Kelsey wonders how Katie is today?"

Katie thanks Kelsey for her concern, and assures Kelsey that she is, in fact, peachy (yes, I do use the word peachy. got a problem?)

We both share a rather unnatural affinity with Sirius Black, and HarryPotterdom in general. In fact, rather a large portion of our conversations are spent talking about HarryPotterdom, amongst...other things that I'll leave to your imagination. (Blinks) That...sounded rather sick, didn't it?

Another thing we share an affinity with is Johnny Depp, and/or, Captain Jack Sparrow. We went to see it a Leicester Square odeon (we thought that such a fine film merited a famous cinema, even if they do practically ROB you the tickets are so bloody expensive). Sad though it may sound, we actually formed a Jack Sparrow fan club. Damn. Now you really all do think we are freaks.

(Note: For full information about said Jack Sparrow club (no, you cannot join, we're elite) feel free to visit Mooncheese's profile, savvy?)

We have been there for each other while we each have fretted about a boy, been asked out by each boy, WENT out with said boy, freaked out while the boy had an attack of the clingyness, and then eventually dumped said boy. I am talking about two seperate boys here, not the same one...although they did act rather like each other.Yes, it resulted in us coining the phrase 'Kings of Cling'

Contrary to what people might tell you, or lead you to believe, neither of us have lesbian tendancies. We do, however, both own barbies, which we bought from Hamleys toy shop on Regent Street.

Katie, are you suggesting that owning a Barbie doll is a lesbian tendancy?

Kelsey, I am sitting here looking shocked that you would suggest such a thing!

I notice you aren't denying it.

just like YOU have never denyed your crush on Dumbledore!

Yeah, well...well...you SUCK!

(Looks affronted) well, well. If thats how you are going to be... well... you can just ... just ... GO EAT SPAGHETTI!

(Gasp) Oh Katie...how could you sink so low...?

HA! I just did! (looks tiumphant)

I am quite interested to know how you can look tiumphant.

Well fine. just DISRESPEC' MAH SPELLIN NOW HOMIE?

DO YOU WANNA TAKE DIS OUTSIDE, BEE-HUTCH?

You is mixin me up, dawg. i aint gettin all this shizziz

Bee-hutch: noun, derogotary slang word. Derived from 'bitch' but infected with fromdahooditis.

We is lykin da gangsta talk, homie G! kelsey is mah blut, you get me, pimp?

I have thought long and hard about a dramatic way to end this beautiful creation which lesser mortals may call a 'profile' but, in the end, all I can say is: "So long, and Good night."

May your dish never part from you to flee with your spoon, and may you one day find a pig who would be willing to sell for one shilling his ring.

Amen.

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And Now...What you have all been waiting for...(drum roll)

The Lazy Author's Guide to Telling the Teffies Apart

If you have been lucky enough to receive reviews from either or both of us, then you may be wondering how to tell us apart. Well, wonder no more! Here is your own personal Lazy Author's Guide to Telling the Teffies apart!

If Katie is reviewing, she will sign her name as Aiko's Teffy

If Kelsey is reviewing, she will sign her name as: Teffy's Moon

If we are both together and are reviewing together, then we shall simply be:

xxTEFFYxx