The Cooper Comic Book Conspiracy

It was a sad time for the tenants of the fourth floor. Poor Sheldon's greatest triumph was overshadowed by the passing his beloved Mee-Maw.

Sometime in the previous year, Dr. Cooper was finally able to prove String Theory, thus rendering Loop Theory and its supporters redundant (pun intended), as well as earning his much coveted Nobel Peace Prize.

Being a laureate never felt so good. He imagined that it would feel a whole lot better once he got his hands on his trophy. He decided long ago he would take his Mee-Maw to Switzerland for the award ceremony. On the tenth of December he sat in the front row practically vibrating with excitement. When he got up to receive his prize he felt relief and joy fill him to the point he felt he would burst. After his speech he looked out into the crowd to see his Mee-Maw's eyes teary with joy and pride in her Moonpie's accomplishment. But he also noticed the traces of deep sadness.

'Why would Mee-maw be sad?', he thought. But just ignored it just as quickly as it emerged.

A month later Mee-Maw got very sick. Mary called her son to tell him to come home, it wouldn't be long now and he should say his good-bye. Sheldon rushed from Pasadena to his Mee-maw's side pausing only long enough to have Leonard drive him to the airport.

When he got the hospital, Mary watched as her son shut the door room door to have his last moments with her mother. Propped up against the wall, she prayed that God give him the strength to endure the loss. Twenty minutes later, he came out looking crushed and looking every bit his thirty-three years. Her eyes blurred as she took her baby in her arms.

Sheldon eventually made it back to California a few days after the burial. Barely noticing his friends waiting in the living room, he walked straight to his room and shut the door.

That was two days ago.

It was Wednesday- comic book night- when Leonard knocked on Sheldon's door.

"Sheldon, are you going to come out? It's comic book night and we'll be leaving soon."

"Go away, Leonard."

"Come on, Sheldon. You can't stay in there. You haven't come out in two days. Please come out. I'm worried about you, Buddy."

"Fine. Although, I don't see the point." Sheldon came out looking pale and frail. Stubble dusted his chin and smelled like he was due for a shower.

"Why don't you clean up while I fix you a little something to eat?"

"Ok", he replied sullenly as he turned to gather his things. Leonard walked into the living room surprised and very worried for his friend.

"How's he doing? Did he come out?" asked Raj.

"Yeah, he came out. But I'm really worried about him." At this Howard scoffed.

"He's locked himself in his room before. Remember how he was when we came back from the arctic?"

"Howard, this is different. When I told him to get cleaned up, he didn't make a fuss. He just meekly obeyed."

"Wow, that's bad." As Leonard moved into the kitchen to make his roommate a sandwich, his neighbor let herself in.

"Hey guys. Is Sheldon still in his room?" Leonard looked up from his task. "No, he's in the shower now. What's up?"

"The new mail guy put some of your envelopes in my box again and one of them was a letter sent by his Mee-Maw."

An uncomfortable hush settled over the apartment. Then Howard moved into gear.

"Change of plans, we're not going to the comic book store tonight. Penny, go shower while I order pizza. Raj, text Bernie and Amy. Tell them to get here as fast as they can." Leonard eyed Howard quizzically.

"Why do they need to be here?"

"Normal people have a support system when they're grieving. This is Sheldon we're talking about here. Once he reads that letter, it'll reopen the wound. So we need all the support we can rally."

Penny looked at Howard and gave him a rueful smile. "Never thought I'd say this, but Wolowitz is right. That's very thoughtful Howard. I'll be back in ten."

Eventually Sheldon emerged from the bathroom freshly showered and cleanly shaven. As he walked out of the hall he was greeted by the scent of pizza and the sight of his friends waiting in the living room.

"I thought we were going to the comic book store." He looked around the room feeling confused and looked to his roommate for clarification.

"Leonard?"

"There's been a change of plans. Why don't you take a seat and have a slice?"

Sheldon picked three slices from a box. He didn't normally have that many, but living off the meager rations from his emergency kit was not an experience he cared to repeat. He was pretty hungry. A sense of comfort washed over him as he settled in his spot surrounded by his friends…and Howard. After a few bites of his pizza, he decided to just ask. "Why are all of you here?"

"Because it was Howard's idea", answered Amy.

"Why did you ask everyone here? Do you have some announcement you would like to share?"

Howard got a sort of distressed look on his face as he answered. "I thought you would need some sort of social comfort during your time of grief."

"Oh", said Sheldon as he looked down at his plate. "Why not just make me a hot beverage?"

The room seemed to prickle with anticipation at Howard's response.

"A hot beverage is for when someone is upset. With grief, one should be surrounded by family and/or one's social group to provide support and comfort." After a pause he concluded his explanation with "it's a non-optional social convention."

"Oh." Sheldon made a mental note to change Howard's status from acquaintance to friend.

The rest of the meal progressed with idle chatter, though Sheldon was unusually silent but no one remarked on his behavior rightly guessing that he was thinking about his grandmother. Eventually every one finished their meal and another awkward silence dominated the room. It was agreed by all that Penny would have to hand Sheldon the letter but she sorely wished she could stall for time. She didn't want to see her friend hurting.

Amy coughed and Penny knew that was her cue to get it over with so that they could help him move on. But she couldn't find the words. Anticipating her plight, Amy cleared her throat and suggested a movie. Everyone was moving around trying to find a good seat when Penny finally plucked up the courage to complete here task.

"Hey, Sheldon, this came for you. The new mailman must have messed up again." Sheldon took the letter and moved to his desk. He looked down at the envelope in his hands and paused mid stride, then rushed to his desk for a letter-opener.

He stood by his desk for long minutes staring at the envelope taking in his grandmother's familiar scrawl. Each letter was perfectly proportioned. Every word was evenly spaced slanting to the right. In a smooth motion he slid the opener along the top seam and carefully removed a thick wad of pages. He sat as he gingerly unfurled the letter.

The rest of the room sat quietly and pretended to watch the screen, all the while sending furtive glances in Sheldon's direction. After a few minutes, he gently refolded the letter back into thirds and slipped it back into its envelope. He stood, shoulders no longer drooping, and walked confidently back into his room and shut the door. The rest of the group looked around at each other not sure what just happened, much less what to do about it.

Sheldon came out of his room again with eyes slightly wet and nose a touch pink. He walked over to his spot next to Amy and settled down to watch the movie. Leonard hit the pause button and turned to his friend.

"You okay, Sheldon?" In turn, Sheldon looked up at his pal.

"No, but I will be." He looked around at his circle of friends, which now included Howard, and said a simple phrase. "Thank you."

The tension in the room broke.

Leonard pressed play.

Life, like the move, resumed.

~O~

Weeks had passed in much the same way they did before: Sheldon stuck with his schedule with everyone else towing along. Leonard, however, noticed some subtle changes. Sheldon was a bit less chatty. He now, on occasion, let others dominate the topics of conversation. He listened a bit more carefully and wasn't as quick to treat others with condescension, which, Leonard thought, proved to make him twitchier (if that were possible).

Amy also noticed a few changes. After having Leonard escort her to the wedding, Sheldon seemed more attentive. For instance, one girl's night in with Penny and Bernadette, Penny trimmed her hair and cleaned up her eyebrows. A few days later, he noted the change and said that her "hair looked even and eyebrows looked neatly groomed". Sure, it wasn't anything near "you look beautiful", but from Sheldon, she would take what he could get.

~O~

One morning, a few months after the letter came, things were about to change drastically.

Leonard walked in and dropped on the couch after working all night at the university doing what he did best with lasers. Sheldon walked out into the living room about a minute later and greeted his roommate cheerfully.

"Good morning, Leonard." Leonard gave a slightly sarcastic wave. "Glad to see you're safely back from testing hypotheses which have already been proven. I would like a moment of your time before Raj gets here."

Normally, Leonard would defend his work but he was too exhausted to even contemplate summoning the energy to do so. It was simpler to let Sheldon get on with his prepared speech.

"As you already know, since M Theory has been proven by yours truly, I have received many requests by many organizations around the world to speak on my accomplishment. As a result, I have decided to tender my resignation at the university in order to tour the country, Europe and Asia. In doing so, I will be in need of an assistant who will organize my itinerary while I'm off doing more important things with my time."

To say the least, Leonard was mildly shocked at this revelation. He was flattered that his best friend thought of him first. Truthfully, to go on tour as Sheldon's lackey held no appeal for him. Being his a lackey in a normal setting with all the comforts of home was one thing. Being Sheldon's lackey while practically living in planes, trains and automobiles was an altogether different matter. He would have to think about it carefully. Realizing that he'd been quiet for too long, he stood to reply on the way to his bedroom.

"I'm pretty tired, Sheldon. Let me sleep on it and we'll talk about it when you get home." Sheldon gave a curt nod of agreement.

"Pleasant dreams, then", and with that he walked out of the apartment.

~O~

Penny was tired. Bone tired. Emotionally tired. The grind was getting to her. Each day brought an increasing sense of dissatisfaction with her life in general. She wasn't in a meaningful relationship. Her acting career was nearly defunct and she now hated cheesecake.

The very smell filled her with foreboding. Customers were nasty. Tips were terrible. She was getting nowhere fast.

Most of the income was going to an agent who wasn't doing much for her career. As a result, she was nearly always broke and just scraping by. It weren't for the guys across the hall, she'd literally be a starving actress.

Penny was on the verge of depression

It seemed like everyone around her was moving on and being successful. Bernie got her PhD, is in love and planning a wedding. That's progress even if she is marrying Wolowitz. Sheldon won the Nobel Prize. Leonard said he was busy creating new sets of experiments based off Sheldon's work. Amy is getting plenty of her articles published in neuro-science journals, has a boyfriend who is, not only successful, but also showing signs he may be morphing into a real boy. Even Raj has been making improvements on the whole not-talking-to-girls-sober thing. Since he's been hanging out with Stuart he occasionally slips and makes a comment in front of the girls without the aid of alcohol.

She's the only on who's stuck. Maybe she should really throw in the towel and move back to Nebraska. Penny let out a large sigh as she trudged up the last flight of stairs to her floor. All she wanted was a drink and a hot shower before she made the soul-crushing call to her parents. All she wanted was to become famous so she could get rich and travel the world. But she knew she couldn't go on living like she was. She needed a break and at this point even a small one would do.

~O~

Sheldon had an unusually productive day at the office. It was rather bizarre to from theorizing one day to executing a great many tasks in preparation of his imminent departure from the university. Gathering his many books. Figuring out the best place to store them. Handing in his resignation to Dr. Gablehauser. Creating his own website to communicate with the world's physics community. Lunch with his friends was a tedious affair. Koothrappali kept weeping over his spaghetti (it was a wonder that it didn't turn to soup) and Wolowitz was his usual Wolowitz self. Half way through the meal, Sheldon excused himself so that he could get on with his afternoon but not before getting Priya's number from Raj. He was in need of a contract lawyer to assist with a few of his future endeavors. He also needed to contact Stuart to make arrangements with receiving a new comic book on every comic book night no matter where he was.

Before he knew it, it was time to call it a day. He felt a sense of accomplishment. Phase one of his plan was under way. Sheldon only needed to get through this conversation with Leonard to get moving on the next portion of this phase.

"Hello, Leonard. Did you get sufficient rest?" he said as he shut the door. Leonard was sitting at his desk and looked up at his roommate somewhat nervously. "Yes, I did. Thanks for asking."

Sheldon dropped his bag on his desk chair. "Now that we have dispensed with the necessary pleasantries, have you come to a decision about my offer?" Leonard shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"I have."

He paused to clear his throat and lifted his chin a fair approximation of defiance. "After thinking about it, I've decided to decline your offer."

"I see."

"Maybe you should ask Penny." Sheldon startled at that suggestion.

"Penny? Why would I ask Penny?"

"Because she's your friend and she's good at getting your requests right on the first try. She doesn't mind taking care of you when you're sick. Plus, she's been pretty miserable lately."

"Miserable? What does that have to do with anything?"

"If you think back to all of your interactions with her in the last six months, does she seem to be happy?" At this Sheldon paused.

"Now that you mention it, her smile has seemed a bit forced." He paused for another moment. "But the reason I asked you in the first place was because you are familiar with physics."

"Penny doesn't need to know anything about physics to be your assistant. Plus, she's an attractive young woman with good fashion sense. I'm sure there will be a number of galas and social events where your attendance would be very much sought after. You'll probably need competent arm candy now and again."

Sheldon stared off into space for a moment.

"Perhaps I need to take the time to further think this through. Thank you, Leonard."

~O~

Knock knock knock, "Penny."

Knock knock knock, "Penny."

Knock knock knock, "Penny."

"Yes, Sheldon?" Penny was not pleased. She finally worked up the courage to call her parents to tell them that she was coming home for good. It took two and a half glasses of wine to muster some spine and Sheldon knocking at her door was all it took to crumble her resolve. If it weren't for her quickly diminishing hope for a good future, she would let herself believe that the universe didn't want her to quit.

"I would like to speak to you for a few minutes. May I come in?" She sighed with exasperation.

"Sure, why not?" Maybe the universe was giving her time to summon actual courage instead of the liquid kind. "Make yourself comfortable."

Sheldon took a deep breath. "It has come to my attention recently that you are currently dissatisfied with your life and I came to offer you a solution." Penny stared at her neighbor in shock.

"What are you talking about, Sheldon?"

"You may not be aware of this, but I've resigned my post at the university. It will be official in a month's time at which point, I'll go on tour across these United States, Europe and Asia to give various speeches and attend various events headed by science communities. Of course, I am in need of an assistant to help me keep track of my itinerary while I'm off doing other things with my time."

"Okay, Sweetie, are you asking me to be your assistant?" Sheldon huffed in annoyance.

"I thought I just said that, but yes."

"I don't think so. I've decided to quit my career as an actress and go home to Nebraska."

"You can't do that Penny. I need you to be my assistant. That certainly has to be better than wasting away in the middle of nowhere." Penny felt her blood pressure rise.

"Get out, Sheldon."

"But, Penny…"

"GET OUT!"

Penny shoved Sheldon out of her apartment and slammed the door behind him.

~O~

She cried herself to sleep that night. She knew he was only trying to help but this was something she had to do for herself. Her grief at the thought of leaving exhausted her. She blamed the alcohol and the spicy wings for the strange dream she had that night…

She looked…different.

Darker?

But she felt beautiful.

Confident.

Strong.

She wore a peach satin dress that was like the iconic one Jean Harlow once wore. She was at a castle walking through its spacious halls toward the music. As she walked past a window she caught glimpses of the moon through towers and ancient trees.

It almost felt magical.

Eventually, she made it to the grand ballroom. The string quartet was playing something waltzy. She took a deep breath and stepped through a medieval looking archway. Standing there she took in her surroundings.

The soft lights on the tables.

The glinting chandelier.

It was an effort to ignore the looks but she felt bolstered by their attention.

Maybe he'll look at her like they do.

Where was he? Finding him shouldn't be so hard when he's so tall.

As she moved past the entrance, the whispers and mutters got louder. There was a flash here and there but she barely noticed. She could feel his gaze though she still couldn't see him.

She was maneuvering through the throng of guests and dignitaries. As she sipped champagne she felt a presence behind her. His long fingers brushed along her forearm and gently grasped her fingers.

"You look exquisite, dance with me."

She let her gaze travel up from their fingers to his face. Nothing was clear. He was familiar, but not. She was captivated and lost in his eyes. He led her to the dance floor and she changed.

Catching her blurred reflection from a nearby window, her dress was a dark shimmering blue. It contrasted beautifully with her fair skin and strawberry-blond hair.

She looked up at his face and he seemed different but with the same captivating eyes. He led them confidently around the dance floor. All eyes were on them.

She felt their envy.

Their awe.

When the dance finished he led them to a side door and they were on a beach under the full moon.

"Please, come with me." His fingers brushed her cheek as he begged in soft pleading tones. "Please, Penny."

She sighed and look down, her dress was peach again. "I can't." she replied.

"Kiss me, then." Her heart hammered she was so scared. He moved slowly forward until his lips were nearly grazing hers.

"Please, come with me." His mouth met hers tentatively for a moment.

"I can't." she whispered back when they parted.

"I'll take care of you." He said sotto voce.

"I'm scared." She returned.

His lips brushed against hers again in the sweetest almost-kiss.

"Don't be." He moved in, fully intent on ravishing her.

"Sheldon, please…"

He pulled her against him…

~O~

The next morning, Sheldon's ego was still smarting from the way Penny unceremoniously booted him from his apartment. He didn't even get a chance to detail the benefits. He called the university to let them know he would be working from home. After his conversation with Amy the night before, he now saw that he needed to change tactics. First, there were a few phone calls he would need to make. He was glad for having an intelligent female friend like Amy. Her suggestion was brilliant. Ruthless, but brilliant. Amy's grasp of her "bestie's" personality was astounding. He figured it was all a part of what made Amy Farrah Fowler a vixen. He smirked at himself. I was a good thing she was using her powers for good and the advancement of science otherwise, her enemies should beware…

He picked up his phone and dialed the first number on his agenda.

~O~

Priya sat curled up on the couch on in her suite. The television was on but she was distracted by the view of Central Park.

He should be calling any minute.

Loathe as she was to admit it, she enjoyed speaking to Sheldon. He may not like her much but he still treated her with some respect. All other men she interacted with could be sorted into two categories: those who were intimidated and those who underestimated her because she was born female.

Then there was Sheldon.

He never backed down (that stunt with the countdown was almost poetry). He didn't blink or waver when she tried to charm him to get her way. Moreover, if their recent interactions were anything to go on, he had faith in her abilities in contract law. High praise indeed according to Leonard. If this conversation went well, she would have an interesting side project to keep her busy when the firm wasn't in need of her services. Priya suspected he had something big planned. If she played her cards right, she would be a part of whatever it was. Doors would open. Lots of money would be made and she could get out of having to be-

The cell phone on the side table buzzed with irritation while Seether sang "Eyes of the Devil". Sneaking a look at the screen she spied Sheldon's frowning face. Think of the devil… she mused.

"Hello, Sheldon. I trust you are well." She smiled slightly at him.

Sheldon blinked at her cordiality and gave her a slight smile back. "I am. I trust you are also well."

"I am," she replied.

"Good. Let's, as the saying goes, 'cut to the chase'." Priya gave a curt nod of assent.

"As per our previous conversation, I have tendered my resignation at the university. However, I encountered a snag when I asked Leonard to be my assistant. He refused. Consequently, my plans had to accommodate a new variable. Namely, Penny." Priya's perfectly groomed eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Penny?"

"Yes. Penny." Sheldon eyed her carefully before continuing. "Leonard declined my offer but suggested Penny as the better choice. However, when I started to offer her the position, I was summarily dismissed." His voice cracked at the end of his sentence and Priya had to purse her lips to keep from smiling as Sheldon eventually got around to his point.

"With the help of Amy Farrah Fowler, I've come up with a way to get her to be my assistant." Here he paused for effect.

"You've intrigued me. Go on."

Sheldon was aware that both Priya and Penny didn't quite get along at first. But things did seem to turn around before Priya moved back to India. He hoped he could secure her assistance.

"Basically, I've planned to strip her of any other alternative and then dangle something she deeply desires in front of her to 'sweeten the deal'." At this Priya perked up and filled in the blank.

"You mean a thriving acting career."

"Very good, Priya." He gave her a genuine smile and she beamed with pleasure.

"What would you like me to do?"

"A bit of research on common contracts used by the more successful actors in the industry. I trust you would be able to find the required information."

She schooled her features into cool professionalism, though internally she swelled with excitement. "I'll see what I can do," she replied in a non-committal tone. "Is there a deadline?"

"I only need the more basic information in five days. After Penny accepts my offer, I'll consider a more permanent arrangement between us." He gazed at her for a moment and his eyes softened slightly.

"This is very important to me, Priya. Please don't let me down. Good day."

"Good day, Sheldon."

With that the video chat ended but she stared at the screen for a while after, thoughts reeling.

Her instinct was correct.

This.

Is.

Big.

The man was practically the smartest person on the planet. If he was able to prove his theories, making Penny into a star should be child's play. If she could help Penny's career to get to at least "thriving", there would be more money to be had. Sheldon said he would consider her for future projects. If she met his expectations or even exceeded them, she could be well on her way to becoming an independent consultant. Her dream would come true by helping someone else achieve theirs.

Good karma, indeed.

~O~

Wyatt stared at his phone. His week had been the strangest he'd ever live through, but the most satisfying.

Although he's never said it out loud, he was proud of his youngest daughter. The girl was turning out to have a good head on her shoulders. He never thought it would be a bad idea for her to move from home at such a young age. He always told her mother she was too hard on the poor kid about her decision. Things seemed to start working out for his girl after she broke up with that Kurt fella.

He noticed some of the changes not long after she moved across the hall from those smart boys. Penny started using bigger words. Their topics of conversation expanded (somewhat) to science and even some politics. But boy, was he ever disappointed when she broke up with Leonard.

While she was with him, he worried considerably less because at least she wasn't involved with some meathead. It wasn't until after he met Leonard and that quirky roommate of his that he relaxed altogether. Wyatt saw that those three had a strong friendship. Penny got along with both Leonard and Sheldon better than she did with her own siblings. They seemed to understand and look after each other like they were family.

Yes, theirs was a gang of misfits, but a family none the less, and by extension, he considered them family as well. Just like them, he would do anything for his family. Including going along with this hare-brained scheme. He trusted Leonard and his judgment. So, if he said that his exceptional roommate accomplishes everything he puts his mind to, then he was just going to trust that his baby girl would eventually forgive what he was about to do. Her mother may not understand at first, but he would do absolutely anything to ensure his daughter's happiness. Hopefully his wife would see reason and come to the same conclusion.

The phone in his hand came back into focus. He needed to call his wife first. Then he would be able to get everyone on board.

~O~

"SON OF A BITCH!"

A loud crash echoed through the hall. Sheldon was one flight from his apartment and was filled with both glee and dread. He needed to tread carefully. He could hear Penny's profanity punctuated with the sound of objects being thrown across the room. He quickly moved up the stairs and entered his apartment as quietly as he could. Leonard was sitting in his computer chair staring at the door.

"I gather she's just spoken to her parents." Leonard's eyes widened with fear before he responded.

"Yeah, I think you're right." He hesitated before speaking again. "Do you really think she'll agree after what we've done?"

"Yes, I do."

BANG. BANG. BANG. "SHELDON!"

BANG. BANG. BANG. "SHELDON!"

BANG. BANG. BANG. "SHELDON!"

Penny was furious. Sheldon took a fortifying breath before opening the door.

"Hello, Penny."

"I'm going to kill you, Sheldon. How DARE you?" Penny's cheeks were bright red and the air seemed to crackle with her anger. "How could you do that, Sheldon? I thought we were friends."

"Penny I really need you to be my assistant. I can't have you go back to Nebraska when I need you."

"What about what I want? Doesn't that even matter to you?" Penny was perilously close to tears. "I can't believe you also got me fired from The Cheesecake Factory." Tears started streaming down her face. "Why would you do that to me, Sheldon?" she whispered the question but somehow it seemed worse than yelling.

"I did it, Penny, because I care." He took a deep breath. "You are a very proud woman. A quality which is both admirable and cumbersome in a fledging acting career. I did not mean to offend you when I phrased my offer so badly, for that I apologize. I did what I did to both make you listen and see reason." Sheldon gestured to the padded chair by his spot. Penny calmed considerably and decided that she had no choice but to hear the whack-a-doodle out. Sheldon looked at his roommate.

"Leonard, would you please make enough tea for the three of us."

"Sure," he said as he scurried into the kitchen.