First, let me say I know nothing about fishing. Second, let me point out that this fic is not about fishing. At least, not fishing for fish.

This is another in my series of fics pairing up Vala with various SGC personnel. This time, Teal'c and Jack O'Neill are the focus. The Smutfic will be next time, I promise.

Rating PG, for subtext.

Not mine and no money made.

Thanks to Vinegardog for beta reading.

Learning Experience

Vala was bored out of her mind. It was funny, really, that she found herself to be bored because she had thought that it was pretty much always a good thing to get off of the base. The invitation to a barbecue, with beer, round at General O'Neill's place had sounded like it should have been a lot of fun. The thing was… the problem was that no one had mentioned in advance that the afternoon would also involve something the Tau'ri called 'fishing.' Slow torture would have been a more accurate description. Fishing, in Vala's experience, was something people did for survival or money, in both cases using the most efficient tools at their disposal. Energy weapons and high explosives were both particularly effective, or so she understood. This version of fishing, by way of contrast, seemed to involve doing almost everything conceivable to avoid catching any actual fish.

She sighed, pulled one long, slender leg up so that her heel was resting on the edge of her folding, metal and fabric seat, tucked a stray lock of thick black hair behind her ear and checked her fishing line for any sign of a catch. After a few, wasted, seconds of doing so she took the complete lack of movement from her set of fishing paraphernalia to be a sign that indeed she hadn't caught anything yet. No big surprise there, then.

"Was it a bass, or a trout?" The teasing voice of Cam Mitchell, who was standing maybe ten paces away while he engaged in a heated piscatorial discussion with Jack O'Neill, provided Vala with a welcome distraction from the chronic lack of fish. She stared earnestly in their direction, allowing herself a crooked smile of concentration. She hoped it looked like she was trying to hear and understand what they were talking about. There were some compensations to be had to this fishing business, each of which helped to lighten the day a little. Staring at Cam's butt for a minute or two, under the pretence of paying attention to his conversation with O'Neill, was certainly one of the better ones.

Another compensation had come in the form of beer. It seemed that beer was a key part of Earth-fishing. She wasn't sure which thing had come first: did the Tau'ri drink so much beer to drown out thoughts of how bad they were at fishing; or were they so bad at fishing because they drank so much beer? She would have to ask Teal'c for his perspective in this vexing conundrum, as she suspected she would get no sense from the others.

As if in answer to her thoughts, the Jaffa loomed into view, unfortunately blocking out her excellent view of Mitchell's butt. She allowed herself a sigh in mourning for her loss.

"Are you having an enjoyable afternoon, Vala Mal Doran?" he asked in his sexy, throaty rumble. Being addressed by that voice was almost compensation enough for having her view blocked. Almost, but not quite. She blinked up at him and considered her options.

"Some parts have been rather entertaining," she licked her lips and leaned forward as she tried but failed to see round him.

"Indeed," Teal'c replied with an enigmatically arched eyebrow and a smirk as he cast a look over his shoulder towards Cam and Jack. "May I join you?" He indicated the temporarily vacant seat beside her with his beer bottle.

"Be my guest," she shrugged. She was pretty sure that, unlike everyone else present, Teal'c was still on his first beer of the day. He seemed to carry the bottle around as a social prop rather than anything else. Interesting, she'd have to think about that: It seemed that she wasn't the only one on the team who constructed and used facades.

"You do not seem to have caught anything yet..?" It was part statement, part question. Vala took a sip at her beer, then fixed her attention on the bottle's label. She worried a fingernail under one corner of the label and then began to slowly peel it back, aided by the dampness of the cold bottle loosening up the adhesive.

"I don't reckon there are any fish in this pond." She pouted.

"I have been informed otherwise. Perhaps your technique is not yet optimised?"

"Yes, well, I thought I was doing it right. But nothing seems that interested."

Teal'c observed her carefully for a while, until his gaze became disconcerting enough for Vala to flash him a questioning, slightly disapproving frown. He smiled back at her then looked away, across the water.

"It is my observation," he began "that the way humans conduct their affairs is often very different to what off worlders, such as you and I, might be used to."

"What?" Vala almost exploded with the question: His remark seemed so arbitrary, so disconnected.

"Take their fishing ritual, for example," Teal'c continued, appearing to be completely unperturbed by her confusion at his words. "I have spent much time considering this activity and have concluded that all is not as it might at first appear."

"You've lost me there…"

"I do not believe that the primary purpose of the activity the Tau'ri describe as 'fishing' is to catch fish." Teal'c smiled enigmatically at her and arched an eyebrow as he fell silent. After sparing a quick glance his way, Vala decided to hold her tongue too. She considered his meaning as she joined him in staring out across the still waters of the lake. The water remained untroubled by any sign of fish.

"What you're saying is they're weird?" she enquired. Teal'c inclined his head slightly to one side and might have given a nod and a half smile in confirmation. It was difficult to be sure.

"When dealing with the Tau'ri, adopting a different approach to that which seems most logical can often prove constructive in achieving your goals," Teal'c commented after a long pause.

"I see," Vala replied.

"Indeed. Knowledge, through contemplation, leads to wisdom," Teal'c replied, his approving nod and his tone of voice hinting that he approved of her response to his gnomic pronouncements.

'~'

"How's it going then, newbie?" Jack O'Neill's friendly drawl rolled over her shoulder. He was slouched just behind and beside her, one hand wrapped around yet another bottle of beer, the other shoved into the pocket of his loose-fitting trousers. She turned her head towards him, cocking it to one side, and, visoring her eyes against the sun with one hand, smiled up at him.

"I don't think I've really got the hang of this," she looked down at the empty fishing hook which her other hand held in her lap. Somehow her bait from earlier had disappeared without it being substituted by a fish. "I haven't caught a thing."

"Takes time," he flashed her an avuncular smile.

"So I've learnt."

"Have you tried tossing some bait out across the water? Let 'em know there's something tasty to be had. Get 'em interested." He settled into the seat next to her, arching his back and rolling his shoulders as though to work out a few cricks and cramps.

"I've tried that a few times, on and off all day."

"Good. That's a start. Then what you've gotta do," Jack put down his beer so that both of his hands were free to help Vala. "Is bait your hook properly."

"Properly?" Vala frowned as General O'Neill took the fiddly wire hook from her unresisting hands.

"Yeah. You gotta choose the right bait. Something extra-special that'll really get the juices going. Then you gotta present it." He wiggled something organic onto the hook.

"Present it?"

"Yeah. Put the goods on display, so that they're real tempting. Make it look like a real juicy mouthful that they wanna sink their teeth into." He held up the hook for her to see, smiling at her encouragingly, as though all should be clear to her now. It wasn't, at least not as far as fishing was concerned.

"I see." Vala licked her lips. She had her suspicions O'Neill wasn't really talking about fishing. Or perhaps he was? It was difficult to tell with him, he affected such an air of ignorance and naivety, quite at odds with his demonstrable intelligence and experience.

"Then, when you've got them hooked, reel 'em in. Think you've got that?"

"Mmm hmm. Yes." She nodded with sly enthusiasm. "When you put it like that, it's all pretty clear."

She winked at General O'Neil, who in reply knotted his brows in what Vala took to be a false show of incomprehension.

"OK, so, umm, cast the line," Vala pulled back her arm and flicked the baited hook over the water.

"Great!" O'Neil encouraged her. "Hey, Cam!" the General called out behind her. "You should get over here and check out Vala!" Vala smiled to herself at the thought of Cam coming over to check her out. "I think she's got it!"

The end