Harry Potter, Hogwarts student, the Boy-Who-Lived,

fighting to save Hermione Granger's life.

Then an accidental exposure to troll blood

alters his body chemistry.

And now, whenever Harry Potter

grows angry or outraged,

a startling metamorphosis occurs.

The creature is driven by rage

and pursued by an investigative reporter.

(Mr. Lovegood, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.)

The creature is wanted for robbing Gringotts.

Harry Potter is in hiding

and he must stop the world from finding him

until he can find a way to control

the raging spirit that dwells within him.

Harry's Ultra Large Kind – Chapter 7 – Abomination

As Luna Lovegood sat with Ginny Weasley on the Hogwarts Express, she was thinking about many things. The Christmas season was also mating season for nargles, so she hoped they would enjoy it, but she'd make sure there was no mistletoe in her house. Not that her father would ever allow it there, but she'd have to make sure no nargle found a way to smuggle it in. She also hoped that the yeti's enjoyed their Christmas. She also wondered where the muggles got the idea that Santa Claus used reindeer to deliver presents when it was obvious he simply used the floo, going from chimney to chimney. She idly wondered just how much floo powder he went through on Christmas Eve. Santa only traveled with his flying reindeer when he wasn't in a hurry, which certainly wasn't his busiest night of the year.

Her main focus, though, was why Harry had visited Gringotts and left as the Hulk. She so enjoyed looking at the photograph on the Daily Prophet, that she was able to ignore the actual article.

The Weretroll Attacks Gringotts!

By Rita Skeeter

As you, my loyal readers, already know, Harry Potter randomly becomes a vicious troll-like creature. You also know that when he was placed in Azkaban for his own protection, the creature broke out, allowing mass murderer Sirius Black to escape as well. While other publications have asserted that the two are traveling together, this reporter has determined that they are separate, because yesterday, Harry Potter, the weretroll, robbed Gringotts Bank with a different accomplice. Instead of working with Sirius Black, he was working with Mandugless Fetchling, an upstanding citizen with a clean record.

The weretroll escaped, leaving his closest friend behind to face the goblins' wrath. Fortunately for Mr. Fetchling, the goblins have elected not to decapitate him on the spot, which is their usual method of punishment. Obviously, they recognized that he was being coerced by the vicious weretroll. He will serve a prison sentence in Gringotts, because they refuse to let anyone involved in stealing from Gringotts get away with no punishment, no matter how minimal their involvement.

What did Harry Potter steal, and from whom, you may ask. I did, but the goblins refuse to answer. They have, however, stated that Harry Potter is no longer welcome at Gringotts, unless he pays for the considerable damage he did to the bank during his escape. We can only imagine that he must have stolen something very valuable…

"I wonder why Harry would rob Gringotts," commented Ginny.

"I think he was investigating Minister Fudge's Goblin Pie conspiracy and got too close to the truth, that some of the goblins are part of it. They attacked him, causing him to transform into that beautiful creature…" She trailed off with an even dreamier-than-usual expression on her face. "Did you notice he's still wearing the bracelet I gave him?" She put her hand on the matching purple bracelet she was wearing with a contented smile.

Ginny looked down at the picture of the rampaging Hulk to see that the gold writing on his wrist was there, declaring he was still part of the Fellowship of the Nargles. "You're right. He hasn't forgotten you, or any of us. We can't forget him, either."

"It's hard to forget him with such a wonderful picture. I'm going to put it on my ceiling."

"Er…okay," replied Ginny, not sure how to respond. She commented on the one thing she was sure of. "You fancy him, don't you?"

Luna blushed, probably for the first time in her life. "Of course I do. You do, too, and so does every girl."

"Not every girl fancies him now," corrected Ginny. "I'm certainly still his friend, but I'm not sure I'd want to date a…"

"You think he's a monster!" Luna accused, looking meaner than ever before.

"No, no. I'm just…not sure we're…meant to be." She took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to calm her friend. "I'm not as comfortable with…different kinds of people or animals as you. Harry saved my life, as the Hulk. I'll always be grateful, and I'll always be his friend. I'm just not sure I'd be the right girl for him."

"Maybe you're not," Luna agreed, looking serene.

-HULK-

Before long, the Hogwarts Express had arrived at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, bringing the students home for their Christmas break. Ginny caught up with her family while Luna looked around for the editor of the Quibbler. He wasn't there, so Luna started walking toward the exit. When she was about five feet from it, Xenophilius Lovegood rushed through the portal and stopped in front of her.

"Sorry I'm late, pumpkin, but I just finished the new Quibbler." He indicated the paper in his hand. "I wanted to make sure our readers get to see the truth about Harry's Gringotts robbery." Luna then read what her father had written.

The Incredible Hulk: Today's Robin Hood

By Xenophilius Lovegood

Other publications have insisted that Harry Potter must have had a nefarious purpose for yesterday's robbery of Gringotts, but I know different. He and Stubby Boardman would never rob a bank just to gain money for themselves. They were happily living off the land when I met them last September. I believe the timing of this robbery is the crucial key to understanding their motives. It is close to Christmas. Therefore, I won't be a bit surprised if many children from less fortunate homes find themselves with extra Christmas presents that weren't from Santa Claus. They've obviously stolen from the rich to give to the poor…

"Daddy, I knew Harry would've had a good reason!" she exclaimed happily before giving her father a big hug. "It's great to see you!"

"And you, too, sweetheart," he replied before kissing her on the forehead. "Let's go home."

-HULK-

It wasn't long before the pair was inside the Rookery, their rook-shaped house, decorating a Christmas tree as only a Lovegood could do.

"Please pass me some of the banana peels, dear," asked Xeno.

Luna, who had just placed one in the middle of the tree, handed three to her father and continued decorating. After she'd hung two more, the door to the Rookery was blasted open.

"Stupefy!" shouted Wormtail as he entered the house, catching the unprepared Xenophilius by complete surprise. He collapsed. Luna ran straight at the strange man, dodging a spell before kicking Pettigrew right between the legs. "Ouch!" he shouted as he fell. "Stop it!" he demanded when she kicked him in the head.

"That's for breaking our door" she screamed before punching him in the face. "That's for stunning my dad!" She prepared to punch him again. "This is for…" she yelled as he transformed into a rat and ran for the door. She followed after him, only to be stunned in the side by someone else once she'd cleared the threshold. She fell to the ground, unconscious.

"I see you met a superior foe in there, Wormtail," commented baby Voldemort. "She was obviously a highly trained Auror, about to get the best of you, wasn't she?"

"If you say so, master."

"I don't say so. I say that you are a blunderer, and that if I hadn't come with, it would've been you captured, and by a twelve-year-old girl, no less! Maybe this will teach you. Crucio!"

After holding him under the torture curse for a minute, he relented. "Now, gather up our captives before they wake up. I've got some questions for Mr. Lovegood."

-HULK-

Xenophilius Lovegood woke up to an unusual sensation. It felt as though every nerve in his body were on fire. He wondered if a pack of blothfiends had caught him. It was either that, or someone was holding him under the Cruciatus curse. He opened his eyes to find out. He saw the ugliest baby he'd ever seen, and he had seen a lot of ugly babies. This hideous infant was pointing a wand at him. He also noticed he was tied up. He decided to write something in the Quibbler about parents letting their babies play with wands before the pain got to be too much for him. "Owwwwwwwwww!" he screamed. The curse then stopped.

"That is just a taste, Lovegood, of what you'll get if you don't answer my questions!" the baby yelled in a high-pitched voice. "Where is Harry Potter?"

"If you think I'll give up my source…OOOOOOOOwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" he cried, while Baby Voldemort cast, "Crucio!"

After the torture curse ended, Xenophilius asked, "What paper do you work for? I know you're not an Auror."

Voldemort actually laughed at that. "I realize I'm not in my best form, but surely you can guess who I am. Wizards still fear to speak my name, even all these years since Harry Potter caused me…difficulties."

Xeno's eyes bulged as he realized who this must be. "Y-y-you're You-Know-Who?"

"Yes, I am Lord Voldemort, and you will die very slowly if you don't answer my questions. Where is he and how can you find him?"

Closing his eyes and gritting his teeth, Xeno realized that this was the end. He'd always known that his dedication to always printing the truth would put him in a situation like this. "Never!" he declared. "You'll have to kill me!"

"Oh, I will, of course, but not until you've told me everything I want to know. I believe I will punish you a bit for your insolence before continuing this…interview." He then shot a series of mild bludgeoning hexes at Lovegood's face, breaking his nose and giving him two black eyes. "Wormtail, bring in our other guest. I believe Xeno here is acquainted with her."

"No," Xeno muttered, hoping he was wrong about their other guest, but he wasn't. Luna was violently pushed through a door, with Peter Pettigrew walking in behind her. Luna didn't look badly hurt, although both her hands and feet were tied up and her mouth was gagged.

"It seems that our friend Xenophilius is reluctant to help me find Mr. Potter. Perhaps this will loosen his tongue." He then shot out the same hexes at Luna that he'd done to Xeno.

"NO! STOP!" he shouted.

"Not unless you give us Potter. Crucio!" When his spell hit Luna, her eyes went wider than usual as her body trembled. A muffled scream could be heard through her gag, and her bulged-out black eyes began releasing tears.

"Stop, I'll talk! Let her go! I'll get you Potter and anything else you want!" he pleaded while starting to cry himself.

"Excellent. I knew you'd cooperate. We'll release your daughter just as soon as Harry Potter is dead. Wormtail, show her back to her room." The rat kicked her, causing her to role toward the door she'd come from.

"Now, Lovegood, tell me how to find Harry Potter."

-HULK-

Pettigrew had to admit that he didn't understand any of Lovegood's logic in finding Potter, but as he looked around the campsite he'd just apparated into, he had to admit Xenophilius was right. He quickly turned into a rat and ran into the closest tent, happy to see that it was Harry. He really didn't want to deal with Sirius right now. The boy was sound asleep, so Peter quickly stunned him. It wouldn't be good if he woke up early and hulked out. He then grabbed Harry's arm and apparated them away.

-HULK-

"Ow!" yelled Harry as he woke up with a stinging sensation on his wrist. He realized immediately that he was standing and tied up. He was also wearing nothing but his elastic shorts and was cold, and his left wrist had been sliced. He could still feel his friendship bracelet on his other wrist as well. He opened his eyes and realized he didn't have his glasses, either.

He squinted to see someone shaking a dagger over a huge cauldron while saying, "Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken. You will revive your foe." Harry then noticed that blood was pouring from a stump that the man had for a right arm. He realized that this man had probably chopped off his own hand a minute before cutting Harry. That thought nearly made him sick as he squinted while looking at the cauldron.

His mind went over what the man had said, and he could only come to one conclusion. Only one being would consider him an enemy and require some sort of violent, dark ritual. Voldemort. Then another terrifying thought entered the Incredible Boy-Who-Lived's mind. 'If Voldemort gets my blood, will that make him another Hulk?'

The cauldron started bubbling and soon a black midst came out of the cauldron, forming into Lord Voldemort. He slowly began breathing through his serpentine nose as he ran his fingers over his head and shoulders. "Robe me, Wormtail," he commanded, and his servant put a rather large black robe on his master. Harry realized immediately who that servant was, and just the thought of what Pettigrew had done to his family was enough to make him angry. Very angry.

"Ah," commented Voldemort with a smile. "I see you're just as eager as I am," he declared before his red eyes began to glow green as he changed. However, his skin didn't turn green. It was more of a yellowish hue. His back grew spikes that cut through the robe he was wearing, but not enough to make it fall off.

Luna and Xenophilius, who were tied up nearby watching, both thought that where Harry's alternate form was a beautiful creation, this thing Voldemort was becoming could only be described as one thing: an abomination.

"Raahhhhh!" shouted the Hulk, as he easily broke the ropes that had bound him to a gravestone. He then growled loudly at the creature that was transforming in front of him.

"This power is incredible!" growled the Abomination that Voldemort had become.

At the same time, Pettigrew was growing faint from his constant loss of blood.

The Hulk grabbed the tombstone behind him, which read (although he could not) Tom Riddle, and hurled it at the beast in front of him.

The Abomination caught it and broke it in half. "Come here if you want to fight!"

With a roar, the Hulk ran straight toward his nemesis, with it doing the same thing. Both prepared to punch the other in the face, and were both successful, causing each of them to fly backward, away from each other.

Peter passed out from blood loss.

The Hulk roared loudly as he got up and leapt back to where he'd come from. The Abomination was doing the same thing. It grabbed the Hulk in a chokehold. "Hulk will die!" the monster declared as Harry struggled. When it seemed all hope was lost, the Incredible Potter kneed Riddle in the stomach, causing him to lose his grip.

"Hulk smash!" he declared, putting both his fists together and punching the Abomination in the jaw, sending him hurling twenty feet. At that moment, a snake crawled up to the Hulk and tried to bite him. It couldn't penetrate the green skin, but did get the Hulk-Who-Lived's attention long enough for him to crush the snake's head with his heel. The Hulk then leapt after his main enemy, who was ready before he arrived. He didn't notice green smoke coming out of the dead snake, indicating the death of a Horcrux.

As the Hulk landed, it was into a waiting fist that sent him flying back the way he came from. Voldemort jumped after Harry and kicked him in the head. He then bent over the Hulk and started beating him with his fists. The Hulk then used his legs to kick the Abomination off of him, roaring, "Hulk kill Voldy!" He then ran at the Abomination, who got up and grabbed a nearby headstone and swung it at the Hulk. The Hulk-Who-Lived grabbed the headstone and busted it over the Abomination-That-Must-Not-Be-Named's head. Taking his advantage, the Hulk punched him in the face. At that moment, the Dark Abomination kicked the Boy-Who-Hulked-Out, pushing him away.

"Hulk, die!" the monster declared as he grabbed a sharp, jagged piece of the headstone the Hulk had broken on him and ran at his enemy, intent on stabbing Harry in the throat.

The Hulk, seeing what was going to happen, put his two fists together above his head and brought them down into the Abomination's hand, causing him to stab himself deep in the stomach. "Oooowwww," he roared as blood began to flow from his mouth. He fell over, dead only moments later. With no Horcruxes left to keep his soul on this plane, it went on to the next…adventure.

The Hulk let out a victorious roar before his attention was drawn away by a female voice. "Hi, Hulk. I really like the way your bracelet matches your skin. I also like your shorts. Would you care to free us?"

He looked at her for a few seconds before finally saying, "Lu-na?"

"That's right. Now, would you mind breaking my ropes?" She then shook her hands, which were tied behind her back, and the Hulk understood what she meant. He easily broke the rope for her. "Now, you should probably relax and change back to Harry. I'd like to talk to him," she suggested as she untied her feet and then went to her father. Neither of them had been healed from the bludgeoning hexes that had been shot at their faces. Their noses were still broken, and their faces were both full of dried blood. Luna was picking up Voldemort's wand from near Pettigrew's dead body when the Hulk transformed into Harry.

"Lu-luna? Mr. Lovegood?" He then looked around. "I guess I transformed. What happened?" He then realized one more thing. "I'm freezing!"

-HULK-

After a long talk, wherein Harry was informed, in between bits about how beautiful the Hulk was and how Xeno hoped no nargles were hurt during the fight, of how the battle had gone. The Hulk-Who-Won was wearing a bright orange robe that Mr. Lovegood had transfigured from a branch.

"I'd suggest that we all join you and Stubby before he awakens and worries about you," commented Xeno, who, along with his daughter was now healed with his face cleaned up.

"Good idea," agreed Harry. "He's…" Before he revealed the location, Mr. Lovegood had Side-Along-Apparated both him and Luna to Harry's campsite.

Luna then randomly stated, "Hermione Granger is for some reason trying to find a cure for your blessing. Can you imagine that? Not wanting to become the Hulk?"

"Well, actually, ever since I found out I was the Hulk, I have wanted to get rid of it. But for now, I think it does have a purpose, so I don't want to be cured. There is more evil in the world than Voldemort. If he was this easy to beat, maybe I'll try my luck with other dark lords."

"I'll come with you," declared Luna.

"Not when you've got school, young lady!" declared Xenophilius.

"I don't have school today," she replied sweetly. "Which dark lord are we going after?"

"I-I don't know. I just thought about that. I'll have to find out about them."

"I can help with that," volunteered Xeno. "As a reporter, I can investigate without arousing suspicion."

"Well then," suggested Luna. "If we're not going after a dark lord, we should probably just kiss."

"Kiss?" asked Harry, before the girl brought her lips to meet his.

At that time, Sirius walked out of his tent to see Harry kissing Luna while Xeno watched. The couple broke apart when he asked, "Anything I should know about happen while I was asleep?"

-HULK-

Harry Potter aka The Incredible Hulk Stops You-Know-Who from Returning

By Xenophilius Lovegood

That's right, my loyal readers and friends, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named made an attempt at returning that was stopped by Harry Potter. My daughter and I witnessed the whole thing. We were simply hanging banana peels on our Christmas tree like usual, when…

Mr. Lovegood wrote everything that happened in the graveyard, but not about them going with Harry to see Sirius. It may have seemed a bit dangerous for him to even admit he could find Harry if he needed to, but neither Minister Fudge nor the Daily Prophet believed him, and thought he was just making it up. He actually grew to accept Harry dating his daughter pretty quickly, since it was obvious that Luna was crazy about Harry. He even decided to start calling Stubby Boardman Sirius Black to keep both Harry and Stubby happy. He just worried about what would happen when Luna joined Harry on a dark lord hunt. After all, dark lords were even more dangerous than crumple-horned snorkacks.

The End

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this little story.

P.S. Harry Potter and all characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

The Incredible Hulk belongs to Marvel.