The Princess' Jester and the War of Pranks

Yes, this story was originally written by SlytherinWalker, but they have since abandoned this story and have given me permission to continue writing it. All credit for the original idea and the first chapter goes to SlytherinWalker. Thanks.

Note: This story takes place in Hermione's fifth year.

Chapter 1

Hermione Jean Granger was a model student. She was beautiful, a prefect, a witch, and achieved the highest grades in all her classes. She was always loyal to her friends and tried to stay out of trouble, which was especially difficult as she was Harry Potter's friend. She was practically perfect. Until she made a bet.

Hermione stepped into the common room, only to be startled by a first year boy throwing up all over her uniform. Hermione sat the boy on the chair, trying to console him. He was blubbering and trying to stutter out an apology when she noticed that he was holding a pack of what looked like 'Puking Pastilles', an invention created by Weasley Twins.

'Don't worry I am not angry...not with you, anyway. I am angry at the fools who gave you theses. I suggest you go down to the hospital wing and see if Madame Pomfrey has anything to give you.'

The boy nodded as Hermione gave him a bucket and sent him on his way. He got up and walked to the hospital wing. Hermione waited until the portrait closed behind him before yelling up the stairs that led to the boys' dormitories, 'GEORGE FABIAN WEASLEY AND FREDERICK GIDEON WEASLEY, GET YOURSELVES DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!'

Seconds later George hurtled down the stairs, closely followed by his twin. When they saw Hermione they burst out laughing, clutching at their stomachs. Hermione knew that they found the entire situation funny and realised that shouting at them would get her nowhere.

'How many times do I have to tell you not to test on first years?' She scolded in an exasperated tone

'Oh come on Granger,' Fred said in between bouts of laughter. 'Stop acting like a stuck up princess and learn to take a joke!'

'I would rather be a princess than a jester,' she retorted, sticking her tongue out at him.

'I bet you have never pulled a prank in your life,' George said, smirking.

'I played a prank on my father once,' replied Hermione, placing her hands on her hips, before continuing, 'and besides, I bet I can prank you both, and show the school what fools you really are.'

'Fine Hermione, you're on,' George and Fred said simultaneously.

'What?' Hermione looked extremely confused. The twins laughed at her expression before explaining.

'George and I will prank you, while you and one other person will prank us. The first to back down loses,' Fred said, offering his hand to her

Hermione shook hands with both of the twins and announced that she would ask Ginny to aid her. The twins shook their heads before starting back up towards their dorms, laughing all the way. Hermione sat down on the sofa and started to do her homework.

An hour later, Hermione had finally completed her potions essay from Snape, her stupid DADA work given to her by the 'Pink Devil', and her analysis on the study of ancient runes. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was 9:30pm. Hermione still had to speak to Ginny about her deal with the twins.

A moment later, Ginny walked through the portrait. Ginny looked at Hermione and could see something else, besides homework, was on her mind.

'What's wrong?' Ginny asked as she perched next to Hermione on the sofa, curling her legs up underneath her. Hermione regaled the tale to Ginny, watching as her friend's expression changed from shocked to amused.

'You, Hermione Granger, bookworm and genius extraordinaire, have challenged Fred Weasley and George Weasley, my brothers, pranksters extraordinaire, to a prank war?' She asked incredulously. Hermione nodded, smiling sheepishly.

'Will you be my help?' Hermione asked tentatively, uncertain of what Ginny's reaction would be

'I would love too,' she replied without a moment of hesitation.

'Okay, that's a relief. So, seeing as you're their sister, you should know all their weaknesses,' Hermione said thoughtfully, her mind already trawling through the possible pranks that she and Ginny could pull over the next few weeks.

'Ooh, I am so excited,' Ginny squealed in a rather high pitched voice that hurt Hermione's ears. 'I never imagined that I would one day be plotting against my brothers with you Hermione. Anyways, those two have 3 weaknesses! The first is mum. Everyone is scared of her and everyone wants to please her. The second is love. They both have crushes on two girls. We can use that to our advantage. Their third and final weakness is pride. They pride themselves on being the best pranksters, and also being two of the most attractive 7th years in the school. If we could somehow wound their massive egos and take away their pride in the process...' Ginny trailed off, leaving the idea open to further thought later.

'Okay so how can we use those weaknesses to our advantage?'

'I have an amazing idea,' Ginny exclaimed before beckoning Hermione closer and whispering her plan to the brunette.

Fred and George awoke the next morning with mischievous grins on their faces. The night before they had stayed up until midnight concocting some of their best pranks ever that they could use on Hermione and Ginny.

As they walked down to the common room, they noticed that all eyes were on them. Girls whispered to each other while pointing at the twins and giggling. Lee noticed them and walked over to them.

'Whoa! Fred! I never knew you like Pansy Parkinson,' Lee sniggered, grinning widely. George nearly choked on his laughter after hearing this news.

'Shut it George!' Fred glared at his twin menacingly. 'Lee, I am not dating Pansy. We've started a prank war against Hermione and Ginny. This is probably their first prank. It's good, I'll admit that. But it's not true,' he explained carefully to his friend.

Lee looked shocked at the thought of Hermione, goody-two shoes and Gryffindor Princess, starting a prank war with the twins. 'The same Hermione who always tells you two off for your joke products?' Lee asked, slightly confused and thinking that he'd misunderstood, that they were talking about another Hermione or that he'd misheard them.

The twins nodded. Fred and George both knew that the war had begun. Both of the twins marched down to the great hall for breakfast while conjuring a plan on the way.

Luckily, when the twins arrived, the hall was packed and there was no sign of Umbridge. As Fred and George were eating their breakfast, girls continually kept turning round to look at Fred and giggle. Fred knew that he shouldn't show Hermione that the prank had annoyed him. Luna Lovegood came up to Fred and George.

'Just to let you know there will be a certain secret meeting in the Hogs Head this weekend,' Luna whispered to them. 'Is it true Fred and Pansy are going out?' George shook his head and Luna shrugged before walking back to her seat.

Fred, having had enough of the prank already, climbed onto the table and shouted for everyone's attention, and the din in the hall died down. Hermione looked up from work, hoping that the twins had backed out of the prank war, however unlikely that might be.

'Everyone, I need to tell you something! Pansy and I are not dating!" Fred shouted at the top of his voice, and

'Now do you believe me, Draco?' Pansy asked Malfoy as he ducked his head in shame. He muttered something back at her and they both went back to eating before Fred's voice interrupted everyone once again.

'However, I am dating someone,' George looked up, confused. He and Fred shared everything. But this was most definitely news to him. 'I am in a relationship with Hermione Granger. Yes, that's right. I, Fred Weasley, ½ of the Weasley Twins and amazing Prankster, am dating Hermione Granger, bookworm and Gryffindor Princess!' He announced to everyone in the hall, shocking everyone.

However, no one was more shocked than Hermione, who spat out the pumpkin juice she had been drinking only moments before. Her head snapped towards Fred and she gave him her most evil glare, to which he responded with a grin. Ginny shot her a sympathetic smile and continued to dig into her breakfast. Hermione gave George one last glare before gathering up her books and storming out of the Great Hall. She knew that disputing what Fred had said would only lead to more embarrassment for her. She left the hall swiftly, vowing to exact revenge on Fred for what he'd just done to her.