Who Dares to Love? Chapter One by patricia51

(Sequel to my story Night . As the training ends and the Games begin Clove and Katniss find themselves falling deeper and deeper in love. But they both know their story has only one ending. Clove/Katniss.)

(Confusion)

(Clove)

"Oh GOD what in the world am I doing?"

I don't know that I've ever asked such a question in my entire life. I've never needed to. Since I can remember my future has been laid out. Step by step I have known exactly where I was going and the steps I needed to take to achieve that goal: to be the winner of the Hunger Games and attain a life of fame, admiration and luxury in my home District Two.

Even this little distraction I'm indulging myself in is not out of character. I've always pursued any female that Cato chases. Sometimes I win and sometimes he does. It's no big thing. He returns the favor although I'm usually more successful in my own choices. I rarely go after some girl I'm sure is completely straight. Well not at first. I have converted a couple of Cato's playmates to my side.

I suppose if either of us were to ever get serious about someone than the game would be off. That's completely theoretical though of course. Becoming serious about someone would interfere with the primary goal we share. Especially now. After all these years of preparation the last thing either of us can afford is some romantic distraction; some person our thoughts would stray to at the worst possible time; someone who might cause us to falter when our minds need to be set on surviving. Okay, killing if you have to think of it that way.

That explains why on the third night here I have blonde Glimmer from District One pinned against the wall of her suite's bedroom where I am quite frankly fucking the hell out of her. Of course Cato did the same thing to her last night. Probably pretty much the same position in fact. My hands cupping her butt, her legs around my waist and her head back so she can moan freely. Her dress is pushed up around her waist and wrenched down to give me free access to her breasts. Her panties are a torn little pile on the floor. I didn't wear any myself in anticipation of this happening. The trousers I changed into after we finished the day's training session are around my ankles. I grin to myself. We probably DO resemble how she and Cato looked last night.

Not that I'm using any artificial equipment. I don't need any artificial cock to fuck another girl. Just me. Not that I don't enjoy using a strapon sometimes. I do so love taking girls like Glimmer, girls who are sexy and know it and flaunt it, and bending them over and shoving my strapon up their butt and showing them who's in charge. But that's all part of the same idea my fellow male tribute when it comes to girls. Just fuck them. Oh sure make sure they have a good time with as many orgasms as they can muster. Wine and dine them. Get them into bed. Or up against a wall. But when it's over it's over. Wham Ba'am thank you ma'am. One of our trainers who has had access to old videos and such before the collapse calls it the "Barney Stinsom Maneuver", whoever in the world he was. But he boiled it down to simplistics for us.

"When you're done, get up and go home. Throw away any phone numbers. Promise anything but never, ever, NEVER get romantic AFTER the sex. Love'em and leave 'em."

He went on to tell horror stories of Tributes who let themselves be distracted by the guy or girl they left back home and were pinning for instead of watching what they were doing and ended up sprawled in front of the Cornucopia. He also mentioned a couple of famous instances where the year's tributes fell in love with each other and what disasters those years turned out to be.

Cato and I looked at each other at THAT remark and at the same time replied "Yuck!"

The trainer relented. After all, I've always been open about my sexual preference. "Okay it's not going to happen with you two," he admits. "But still the warning is valid. Don't get involved. Have fun. You need the release sex gives you. But that's where it needs to end." And that's never been a problem. Until now. Oh not with Glimmer; she's hot and sexy and I'm enjoying what my body is doing to hers but there won't be a moment's hesitation in burying a knife in her heart if we should turn out to be the last two survivors. Or before then if it becomes necessary. I know it and she knows it and she will do me just as fast as I will her.

That's not what's driving me crazy. I mean seriously really questioning my sanity. Because even when I grabbed Glimmer in the elevator and we staggered into her bedroom and commenced to having each other my mind kept playing tricks on me. The blonde hair keeps turning dark and the full figure slims down and then I'm no longer fucking Glimmer. Instead I'm making love to Katniss Everdeen, the 'Girl on Fire' from District Twelve.

And THAT is insane. Because for me to be thinking about another girl while in the middle of nailing another one is something I have never done before. Not once. But it keeps happening now. Once hell, her face and body have already popped up three or four, no make that five times during this stress relief session. And that means something; something I can barely face.

This is a girl I never knew existed until two days ago. And the first time I saw her was during the parade. I think I paid more attention to her costume rather than her. After all, it was a stunning display, guaranteed to bring in the sponsors.

It wasn't until yesterday morning that I actually saw her; saw her as a person. I didn't plan that either, I was just checking out the competition. And the other girls. Glimmer was pretty much marked down as the fuck-buddy Cato and I would spar over at least for the first night. Then across the room my eyes met hers and I swear my heart stopped beating for a moment.

I knew who she was. Katniss Everdeen from District Twelve, a volunteer and the only volunteer that district has ever offered. I knew why too. Was that part of the near instant attraction I felt for her? Something that set her apart from the rest of the sheep brought here to slaughter but also from the Careers like me and Glimmer. Or was it that every time I looked at her she looked back and me. Regardless, the first time our eyes met I felt something I have never felt before; a longing rather than lust, a desire to hold someone rather than simply fuck her.

The desire for something far beyond just sex has been something I have kept buried deep inside me, never letting it out and rarely even acknowledging it myself. After all, it's something for the future, once I have won the Games. I want someone. Someone forever. I want to fall in love with a girl and live happily ever after with her on Victor's Row. But that's for AFTER the Games. Not NOW for God's sake. But I can't help it, no matter how ridiculous it sounds, no matter how ridiculous it IS.

That night we both showed up in the darkness of the vacant training hall. It wasn't something we planned, it wasn't something we discussed. It just happened. Somehow we each knew the other would be there, drawn by that something I refuse to name that already was connecting us.

Oh I tried to make light of it even as I admitted how I was drawn to her; how I was determined to find her that night no matter what I had to do, no matter where I had to go. I tried to take control of her like I have so many other women. And deep down inside I rejoiced when she didn't let me, when she gave as good as she got. And she called my name and I called hers. I never do that. But the hunger was for HER, for Katniss Everdeen and I wanted her to know that. She did and she let me know she wanted me, Clove Honor.

The kisses were incredibly sweet. In the midst of our striving, our competition I realized that we weren't fucking. We were making love. And she knew it too. It was exhilarating, it was wonderful and it was as terrifying as anything I have ever known. Because there is no way this can end well. Any other time, any other place there might be a chance for us. But not here. Within two weeks one of us will be dead. At least. Both of us may be dead. Maybe that's best because my skin already crawls at the thought that it may come down to the two of us. What if I have to kill her? At that moment I hated the Capitol as I never have before. Because I found her finally and I can't help but lose her.

Somehow in all my musings and flashbacks my body seems to have forgotten what it was doing. A muffled protest from Glimmer brings me back to here and now. Without thinking I speed things up, wedging a hand between us so I can make sure to stimulate her clit, and mine, and bring this to a satisfactory close for both of us. Or at least for her. Well I won't mind getting off, I've never objected to an orgasm, but really I just want to be done with this. Because I don't give a shit about fucking Glimmer any more. I don't want to fuck any girl. I want to be making love to Katniss.

Somehow my flailing managed to set both of us off and we collapse. I'm as drained emotionally as physically as I stagger to my feet, nearly tripping over my slacks around my ankles and get dressed. Glimmer does the same. She doesn't offer a goodbye kiss and clearly doesn't expect one. She understands the rules. But I don't. Not any longer.

"Oh GOD what in the world am I doing?"

(To be continued)