Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

Emerald green eyes watched the American blond gulp down burgers and soda at an impressive speed, disgusted but also slightly amused. Arther glanced down at the greasy burger Alfred had given him, his nose crinkling in disgust; personally, the Brit had a preferance for classic foods, such as his homemade scones.

In fact, the only reason why he was with the American at this bloody grease covered burger joint was because, quite frankly, he needed a distraction. He'd caught Francis telling Peter about the 'birds and the bees', and after hearing a little bit of what goes on inside the Frenchman's mind...Well, anyone would want to forget that.

"Yo, British dude!" Alfred said loudly, spraying bits of hamburger on the Brit. "You ok?" The Brit looked at Alfred, surprise visible in his bright green eyes. He always thought the American was a bit on the dense side, but maybe he was more perceptive than Arther thought. "You haven't touched your burger yet, dude! Something must be wrong!" The Brit tried not to roll his eyes; of course that's what tipped him off.

Still, it wasn't exactly something the blond wished to discuss, so he tried to change the subject. "H-Hey, Alfred, what do you look for in a woman?"

The American looked up from his ridiculous pile of hamburgers, curiosity in his baby blue eyes. "What?"

The Brit mentally kicked himself; what a stupid way to change the topic!

"Boobs."

Arther stopped mid-kick and looked at the American. "Pardon?"

"Boobs." Alfred repeated through a mouthful of fries. "I'm a boob man. What about you?"

The Brit felt himself starting to sweat, fidgeting nervously in his seat; it's not like he could tell Alfred he was gay! Arther desperatly racked his brain for the best way possible to answer, his heart pounding. Alfred raised his eyebrows. "Well?"

"The-The vagina!" Arther blurted out, slamming his fist on the table in frustration. Everyone in the burger joint turned to look at the furious Brit. He slammed his head down on the table, his face turning bright red; he couldn't believe he'd just yelled that goddamn word in a goddamn burger joint.

The American laughed loudly. "You go straight for the prize? I didn't think you had the balls!"

"Shut the hell up, you wanker."

"Hey dude, why didn't you just tell me you were gay?"

The Brit's eyes widened. What?

The American laughed obnoxiously at Arther's reaction. "It doesn't exactly take a genius to figure that out! Besides, Francis told me you fucked him last week."

"I was bloody drunk!"

"That's not what Francis told meeeeeeeeeee." Alfed said in a sing-song voice.

The Brit murmered a few dirty curse words under his breath, much to Alfred's amusment. It was then that the unexpected happened; the British blond felt a pair of soft lips on his own. Arther's eyes widened when he realized Alfred was the one kissing him. Wait, wasn't Alfred straight?

The American slowly pulled away, grinning when he noticed the blush on the shocked- and rather flustered- Brit's cheeks. "Yeah, I like chicks with boobs, and though you don't have much of a pair..." His grin widened.

"I'm willing to make an exception for you."

THE END

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