.

Epilogue

It was a peaceful day in Ikebukuro.

Namie had previously thought Izaya needed some therapy or to be sent to the mental institution –

But she had recently discovered Izaya needed none of those things.

And it was not only because of the fact that Izaya would probably end up confusing the therapist anyway and taking charge of the session instead –

And he would probably have been delighted at the 'interesting humans' in the mental institution – and would enjoy terrorizing even the insane.

It was an unsaid consensus with Namie that she didn't have a high opinion of her boss at all.

She was only there for the money after all.

And for Seiji's sake.

Because everything was for Seiji.

"Namie!"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"…"

"Namieeeeeee!"

"What?"

"Nothing~"

Everything was for Seiji's sake.

And the money.

For Seiji.

And everything included Izaya's annoyingly new bubbly attitude accompanied by a new way to drive her as insane as him.

"Namie!"

Namie didn't bother responding.

"Namieeeeeeeeee…"

Namie still didn't bother responding.

"Naaaami-eeeee-"

"What?!"

Namie snapped, only to see Izaya with a childish grin on his face –

As he held up the golden retriever soft toy, which, in only a few days since its entrance to the spacious household, had gained special privilege to be on Izaya's desk.

"Isn't he cute?"

The urge to facepalm was high.

When did her annoying but male boss become replaced by a teenage girl?

And did that make her, by default, the teenage girl Izaya's 'best friend'?

Namie almost shuddered at the horror.

"Namie –"

"Disgustingly." Namie deadpanned but teenage-girl-Izaya seemed satisfied.

Namie could understand if it was a golden retriever – a real one –

But Izaya was holding a toy.

For kids.

Well – the real one was in Ikebukuro anyway, terrorizing everyone with his mere presence alone, probably barking like a dog at some unfortunate man and most definitely nowhere near the definition of 'cute'.

Though Izaya would beg otherwise; seething blond in a bartender suit throwing vending machines and all, and Namie withstood a grimace and decided to be glad he had not.

Yes – it was most definitely a peaceful day in Ikebukuro.

For Izaya didn't need a therapist or a trip to the mental institution –

All he had needed was a date with Ikebukuro's strongest man.

And hotpot with everyone.

And maybe karaoke.

Which reminded her; who knew Izaya could take singing seriously?

(And who knew the boy who had declared he loved the cliché and happy endings could sing like a rockstar?)

It was almost laughably normal.

For someone like Orihara Izaya.

Namie gave a half smile-half smirk at the thought, as Izaya's phone vibrated on the table.

Izaya's childish smile widened even further, and Namie was convinced he had expected that call.

The real Orihara Izaya was still somewhere in there after all.

"Hey~"

Though judging by the tone of Izaya's voice, Namie was also convinced it was not a business call.

"Hey Izaya." There was a pause. "Go out with me."

"…What?"

"What, I just said go out with me! I didn't ask you to marry me did I?!"

"M-Marriage? I-"

"Like I said, I didn't! Don't put words in my mouth, damn flea!" There was an inhale, "So, go out with me? Izaya."

"Woah -"

Izaya regained his composure, and he smiled, "What brought this on, Shizu-chan? What makes you think I'm even interested in you that way?"

"Oh I don't know," Shizuo's sarcastic voice said, "The kiss? The way you blushed when I held you?"

"I did not blush." Izaya said stubbornly.

"Yeah whatever. So are you going to go out with me or not?"

"Well Shizu-chan, this really is quite sudden-"

"YES OR NO?! JUST GIVE ME AN ANSWER ALREADY DAMN IT!"

"…Yes." Izaya said with a smile, in such a simple, genuine tone that Namie looked over at him.

"What, someone asked you to marry him? That guy must be crazy."

"Oh quiet," Izaya said after he had removed the phone from his ear. His lips curved into a smirk.

"The guy you're calling crazy is the monster of Ikebukuro. And he just asked me out."

"…Definitely crazy."

Izaya grinned and put the phone back to his ear. He waited one second, before Shizuo spoke.

"A-Ah." The debt collector sounded surprised. There was a cough, "Right. Then, I'll meet you at Sunshine 60. There's good food up there."

"Wah- Shizu-chan knows I like food and eating out, huh? Not bad~! Did you ask Shinra~?"

"S-SHUT UP AND BE THERE BY 2PM! GOT IT, DAMN FLEA?!" Izaya grinned, "DON'T SCREW AROUND OR I'LL DUMP YOUR SORRY ASS THERE! AND I WANT A KISS BY THE END, YOU HEAR ME?!"

"A kiss on the first date? You're such a demanding boyfriend, Shizu-chan~!"

"I SAID SHUT UP! This is our second date so you have no excuses!" Izaya blinked in surprise, "Tch! I'm hanging up now. You better not be late or I'll throw you out of Ikebukuro!"

"Yes, Shizu-chan! See you –" Izaya blinked again, then smiled. "Ah, he hung up."

He laughed and stretched his hands high above his head, then lowered them to grab the golden retriever soft toy off his desk and cuddle it to his chest.

"So cuteeee~! Shizu-chan is so cute~!"

"Yes Miss Orihara, your boyfriend is adorable, so since you're in a good mood can you do your damn paperwork?"

"Yes yes Namie-san~" Izaya drawled with an amused smirk as he put his phone down on the table, "Hey, what's the time now?"

"It's morning, 9.35 AM." Namie said with an amused quirk to her lips, "Counting down the minutes already? You're such a girl, Izaya."

Izaya just hummed happily, snuggling into the soft fur, "Namie is just jealous because she doesn't have a boyfriend! Not like me!"

He grinned and lifted his head, resting his chin on his palm, "Ah…Shizu-chan just asked me out…Shizu-chan is my boyfriend…this isn't a dream, is it? Ah it can't be since the horrible Namie is here!"

He laughed, voice husky with something that felt like that rumoured happiness, "This is REALITY!"

"Yes, cruel reality," Namie said dryly, "To spend it in your presence."

She scoffed, "Don't worry, I'm also counting down the minutes to your date so I don't have to see your disgusting face."

"So mean as usual!"

The phone on the table vibrated, and Izaya picked it up without glancing at the screen. "Hello~?"

"Izaya!" The informant blinked in surprise, "That is, since it's a date you better not be wearing your usual stupid attire with that annoying jacket! Because I won't, not that Kasuka's present is stupid - but anyway don't give any stupid excuses, shitty flea!"

"Shizu-chan."

"Yeah. T-That's all, so I guess I'll see you later! You better not be late!" There was a pause. "Uh, Tom-san are you sure that was a good idea?"

Izaya choked on his laughter as he heard Tom's voice, "It's…normal for a date. And uh, Shizuo? You haven't ended the call."

"…Tch! Bet the damn flea is laughing on the other end."

The call ended and Izaya released his loud laughter into the air, causing Namie to say with much annoyance, "What is it now?"

"My dearest lovely Namie~" Izaya sang with a wide grin as he played with the paws of the dog, "Won't you be a dear and do me a little favour?"

"No." Namie replied without hesitation, not even looking at him.

"Aww, don't be like that! You haven't even heard what the favor is!" Izaya pointed out but Namie ignored him, causing him to smirk, "I might just raise your pay if you do~"

"…What is it? It better not be anything too troublesome."

"Oh of course not, of course not!" Izaya said, leaning his elbows on the table, "I just need you to sort out my wardrobe."

"…What?"

"You know, choose some clothes for me! Shizu-chan demands that I dress normally on our date you see!"

"…Do it yourself."

"Namieeeeeeee! I am in unfortunate need of your experienced, feminine advice regarding a suitable choice of attire for my lovely, gorgeous self~ I can't disappoint Shizu-chan~! I don't want to be thrown out of the monster's Ikebukuro! So won't you help me? Or I might just deduct your pay~"

"…You, Orihara Izaya, are such a woman. Where the hell is your wardrobe?"

And thus began a very comical experience between Orihara Izaya and his very reluctant secretary.

…

…

"Strip."

"Eh?!"

"Hurry up and don't waste my time. How will you try the clothes on if you don't strip? And put that damn dog down already."

"Well, Namie should turn around first!"

"Are you a woman? You're a man. Now stop pretending to be shy and change! You don't have anything I haven't seen before."

"How crude, Namie-san~! Well, if you insist…"

"…I can't believe your waist is slimmer than mine."

"Heh. Jealous, Namie?"

"Shut up, skinny bastard."

"…What's wrong? Hurry up and take your pants off."

"…Even if you say that…I can't when you're staring at me!"

"…Are you some girl who won't show her body to anyone else but her boyfriend? Though I doubt you'll allow him to get to that stage. Tch, it's not like you're removing your underwear."

"Namie is so harsh! I just want my privacy! And don't say it like that, thinking of doing that with a monster like Shizu-chan is disgusting."

"Disgusting, or arousing? Whatever, I'm not looking, so hurry up."

"Yes, yes."

"Are you done?"

"Yup! How do I look?"

"…Why did I give you a black shirt? Black and white, you look like some businessman. Ugh, take that off and put this one on."

"But it's pink!"

"Why do you have it anyway?"

"My sisters, enough said."

"…Well. You're girly enough to like pink. Who knows, it may look good on you."

A sigh. Rustling of clothes. Silence.

"…It's horrible, isn't it?"

"…Yeah. Your skin is too pale. Ugh. Try this brown one."

"Okay. …How is it?"

"Okay, but too plain. There should be something better…the pants are okay though. Surprisingly, white suits you, the horror of a pure color clashing with an evil bastard like you…"

"I'm hurt, Namie! Well maybe I shouldn't provoke Shizu-chan, I don't want to get blood on these white pants."

"You shouldn't provoke him anyway, seriously, do you have a death wish? Come closer, and look up. Closer, you idiot."

"Wah, Namie, are you~? I'm honoured really, but really I love all humans equally-"

"Don't be disgusting, I'm just seeing the color of your eyes. They're russet, huh."

"People tell me my eyes are red, crimson like blood~"

"Maybe under the sun. Right that solves the problem. You have a red shirt?"

"Uh…"

"You're hopeless. Wait here."

Blinking of russet eyes, raising their gaze to look up into the light which shone and made them seem red. Impatient, almost nervous tapping of a foot amongst the sound of shuffling.

Then, footsteps:

"I found two. Honestly, I'm surprised you have things in your wardrobe other than black and your furry eskimo coat. Try this first."

"…How is it?"

"Not bad, but…a darker red would be nicer. Hm this shirt's maroon isn't it?"

"You think that shirt would be better?"

"Probably. Here."

"Done. Well?"

"…Come here and see for yourself."

"…Heh~I look good~!"

"There's something still missing."

A hand sorting out the shirts and jackets, blazers-

"Alright, wear this."

"Black?"

"Yeah, and put this on too."

"Well – black, red and white, not a bad combination! Ah colors are so interesting, aren't they? They totally change the perspective-"

"Put on the damn belt, Izaya."

"Yes, yes!"

"Hm, not bad. You actually look like a man."

"Yay! Ah Namie was surprisingly helpful! Now I can go on my date! Thanks Namie!"

"…Whatever, just remember my money."

"Of course! Then, I'm going!"

Footsteps – then,

"Why are you taking that jacket? Leave that behind and let me burn it. So you can freeze to death."

"Ah Namie, don't you know Shizu-chan has to earn the right to see my gorgeous form in these lovely clothes handpicked by my dear secretary~?"

"…Whatever, girly ass."

"Hahaha! See you later, horrible woman~!"

…

…

"You're dressed differently today." Shiki observed.

"Ah," Izaya said, leaning back and crossing his legs, "Could it be, Shiki-san has finally fallen for my charm?" He giggled, giving a smirk, "Too bad, I've already got a date."

"Date," Shiki arched an eyebrow, used to Izaya's baseless teasing. The Yakuza smirked, "Heiwajima Shizuo?"

"B-ingo~! Ah how did Shiki-san know?"

"Logic. You went on a date with him and now you're on another date. Isn't that the standard way relationships work?"

"Shizu-chan and I are not in a relationship," Izaya waved the notion away, "I don't do relationships with humans."

"But Heiwajima Shizuo is a monster, according to you."

Izaya frowned, not liking being bested by his own logic. But he was soon smiling again, "Shiki-san is surprisingly curious today," he said, "Well, I didn't go on a date with Shizu-chan because we're in a relationship. I was just messing with him."

"Ah yes, enjoy messing with Ikebukuro's strongest man, Orihara," Shiki said in unhidden amusement, interlocking his fingers. "Though I am curious about your logic, dressing to impress someone you hate."

He chuckled, eyes gleaming, "I find myself almost hoping he wears his usual bartender suit on your…date."

"That's impossible, since it was Shizu-chan who demanded a change of attire," Izaya said. Shiki smirked at him and he corrected swiftly, "I'm not listening to him, I'm just a fair man, since Shizu-chan is going to finally be not wearing his precious bartender suit, it's only fair for me to change my wardrobe too, hm?"

"Obstinate as always, I see," Shiki's smirk only seemed to widen.

He shrugged, "Not that I care about your love life or lack thereof. Well, keep your precious logic, Orihara. And give me the information you're here for – I'm sure you wouldn't want to keep Heiwajima Shizuo waiting, would you?"

"Oh Shiki-san," Izaya purred as he handed the stack of papers to the Yakuza leader, crimson eyes glinting in anticipation.

"That's exactly what I want. It's Shizu-chan, after all."

…

…

Orihara Izaya, reborn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi
Well, well. What can I do for you, Orihara?

Orihara Izaya
Looks like I'm not the only one who gets bored. You can stop pretending. It doesn't suit you.

Tsukumoya Shinichi
Haha. Take it this way, Orihara, as a fellow informant, I'm sure you know how crucial information is. And Orihara Izaya going on a date dressed in casual clothing is definitely noteworthy information. Especially as it's with none other than Heiwajima Shizuo.

Orihara Izaya
So you are a stalker after all.

Tsukumoya Shinichi
Oh don't say that, I'm merely observing from a comfortable distance. Is this date for experimental purposes as well?

Orihara Izaya
What do you think?

Tsukumoya Shinichi
Well I don't know, I'm not a mind reader like you.

Orihara Izaya
Yeah, you're way worse.

Tsukumoya Shinichi
Says the one who messes with humanity to see their reactions. Well, I'm glad you're finally finding your way on the romance road, even if it is a twisted one. That man will definitely keep you in line. Like I said, the city needs a holiday from you. And who better to keep you from your twisted schemes regarding its inhabitants, than the "Monster of Ikebukuro"?

Orihara Izaya
Since you just said that, you reminded me. I was so busy with my plan for Heiwajima Shizuo, whom I do not intend to have any "romance" with, by the way. So don't worry, the city's holiday won't last long, since you just said what it needs. And since the city isn't human, I like to give it what it doesn't need, you see? Soon I'll be there telling it again, "Your holiday is over, bastard."

Tsukumoya Shinichi
Well, we will see. And why do you spurn me so? You realize without my information you would have met quite a few difficulties in your plans?

Orihara Izaya
Shut up, I pay you good money for that, because you don't like me messing with your precious city.

Tsukumoya Shinichi
True, but you're not exactly poor. In fact, you're quite rich, aren't you?

Orihara Izaya
…I'm starting to think you have a crush on me. Now that thought is highly disturbing. Well I'm afraid I must decline, but be rest assured. Like I said before, if you admit you're a human you can still have my love.

Tsukumoya Shinichi
What an audacious assumption, I'm merely curious about – well, I suppose you could be considered my rival. But I admit, I do enjoy teasing you – it's amusing to see you flustered and out of your element. Besides, I'm not sure if you're aware, but I have no intention of being Heiwajima Shizuo's next unfortunate victim. I'll gladly leave that to you.

Orihara Izaya
It's not as if you can see me. Ah, I see, he really is a monster if even you fear him. How amusing! Though I'm a little insulted – you seem to consider Shizu-chan a greater threat than I am.

Tsukumoya Shinichi
You yourself know that you're of no threat to me, it's a fact. Heiwajima Shizuo on the other hand, is, as you said, unpredictable. And who said I can't see you? That black blazer must be made of the finest material. I'm impressed.

Orihara Izaya
…Okay. Where the hell are you?

Tsukumoya Shinichi
Nowhere near, don't worry your pretty little head.

Orihara Izaya
Tsukumoya!

Tsukumoya Shinichi
Yes, Izaya?

Orihara Izaya
…Stop messing with me. It's highly irritating. What, am I supposed to call you Shinichi now? It's still Orihara to you.

Tsukumoya Shinichi
Hahah. How ironic, you love to observe people, but you can't stand being observed, can you? Very well. Enjoy your date, Orihara. Take some pictures, won't you? They will come in handy as visual illustration of information.

Orihara Izaya
…Fuck you.

Orihara Izaya, confirmed dead!

Tsukumoya Shinichi
That wouldn't be possible, even if I wanted to.

.

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

…

…

…

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

The words came out half hearted at the sight of the blond man's expression.

Shizuo had been restless all week, and after some discussion, Tom and Vorona had decided to probe him on the matter.

In retrospect, Tom had suspected it had something to do with Izaya, and he guessed he shouldn't be surprised considering Shizuo's and Izaya's date on Shizuo's birthday which had led to a surprisingly harmonious gathering amongst the residents of Ikebukuro at Russia Sushi (and even some karaoke).

Izaya had left halfway through, but Shizuo had brought him back.

Onto the stage.

That had been a surprise. He'd never known Shizuo's and Izaya's voices could blend so well together, as if they were singing to each other.

He hadn't known Shizuo could sound so gentle either, or that Izaya could sound like a decent person –

Even if it was just in singing.

But it was nearing February, and that night seemed like a dream.

Izaya hadn't come to Ikebukuro since, and Shizuo seemed quiet as if he was thinking, before starting to show a sense of restlessness –

Exemplified most obviously when he broke a debtor's face while yelling, "SHUT THE HELL UP, I'M TRYING TO THINK HEREEEEEEEEEEEE!"

It wasn't the only incident, but it was the incident that made Tom and Vorona come to terms that their blond companion probably needed a listening ear.

Which was how they had arrived at the current situation.

"He was laughing!"

"Like a noxious insect."

"Vorona!" Tom was appalled at the words of his 'partner in crime'.

-If crime involved getting Shizuo to open up about his newfound romantic feelings for a certain insufferable informant

"I speak only the truth."

Vorona would have said emotionlessly were it not for the smug gleam in her eyes.

Tom mentally noted that if Shizuo and Izaya were to start dating and Shizuo brought Izaya along, to not allow Izaya further influence on their innocent kouhai.

After all, if one night of verbal interaction in Shizuo's presence had done this to Vorona, what would continuous mornings or afternoons do?

Vorona relying on information like Izaya was more than enough – she didn't need more similarities to him.

Ikebukuro only needed one Orihara Izaya.

Especially if the potential second one was to be their kouhai.

Tom inwardly shivered, before speaking.

"There are some things you just don't say even if they're true – that's your senpai's future d-date you're talking about you know!"

- Especially if it makes you sound like him

"But Shizuo-senpai was lamenting about his future date– I was merely providing support."

"A-Anyway!" Tom said once he had found himself at a dead end to Vorona's logic, "Y-Your date's at 2PM, right Shizuo? Let's just get to the last one so you have time to prepare, yeah?"

"Ahhhh…." Shizuo seemed to be blushing lightly, which was a strange sight. He also seemed to have forgotten about the lamenting Vorona had claimed he was doing.

"…That's a problem, isn't it? I know I said I would come in casual clothes…but I have no idea what to wear."

"Well I'm not the best person to help you out there…but just do your best and it'll be fine."

Shizuo didn't look reassured. Tom didn't blame him. When your date was Orihara Izaya, even Heiwajima Shizuo could feel insecure.

For though Izaya never changed his outfit, he had a personified expertise in the social field and conducted himself with an elegant flair of those confident in social situations –

Unlike Shizuo who was always withdrawn, obscuring himself in corners and immersing himself in his own mind, unaware of even basic social dressing etiquette.

"It's Izaya."

Shizuo said as if that explained everything, and Tom read the rest in his eyes.

"What if he laughs at me again…?"

"You really like him huh?"

Tom said as Vorona observed silently.

"It's like…." Shizuo scratched the back of his neck as he thought about it.

"It's a date…so I want to see him in something other than that annoying fur coat for once. But at the same time, I'm afraid he'll look too good that I can't compare….or something like that."

"…But senpai is already aesthetically appealing." Vorona spoke as if she didn't understand.

"Huh? Well thanks I guess, but Izaya's gonna look better – ow. What was that for, Vorona?"

"Apologies. I had wished to snap Shizuo-senpai out of his daydream."

Vorona said after she had struck a blow to the back of Shizuo's head. To the blonde assassin, it was a light blow intended to wake the person up but to a normal person, it would probably have knocked them out.

Fortunately, Shizuo was not a normal person. He hadn't even flinched like Tom had despite being the recipient of the unexpected attack.

Tom made a mental note to never daydream in front of Vorona or he would end up in a nightmare.

Shizuo looked puzzled, so Tom decided to contribute. "Vorona's right. I mean, from a guy to another guy, Shizuo, you have a good looking face. The kind women would love. You're handsome like your brother even though you always wear that bartender suit. I mean, Izaya's not the only good looking guy you know?"

"Tall, masculine looks, baritone voice…affirmative. Although I hold no knowledge in such conventions, I nevertheless am able to determine Shizuo-senpai's attractiveness as a man."

"…I'm attractive?" Shizuo said in surprise as if he hadn't known.

Tom just sighed as Vorona blinked. "Affirmative. Shizuo-senpai is more attractive than the average Japanese male."

She held out a hand as if to indicate, but ended up almost poking into an unfortunate man's cartoid artery.

The 'average Japanese male' shrieked and scrambled away, but the Russian beauty didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah. Anyway, no worries, since there's a guy you can go to for advice in times like this!"

"Who?"

"Why, none other than the number one guy, coveted by all women of course! You two are quite close, aren't you?"

Shizuo seemed to have realized, "But I can't bother him for something like this –"

"Nonsense! You're going to tell him eventually so why not now?"

Shizuo couldn't seem to find a counter argument as Vorona inquired, "Request – who is this 'number one guy'?

Their senpai turned and gave them a boyish grin.

"Hanejima Yuuhei – number one popular male celebrity, and Shizuo's little brother."

…

And that was how Hanejima Yuuhei found himself excusing himself from the set to answer an unusual phone call from his older brother –

"Kasuka? ...I need your help."

And driving to Ikebukuro an hour later to watch in bemusement as the female assistants of clothing stores gaped at the unintentional debacle that was his brother –

And the Headless Rider gushing smoke out of her helmet as she looked over the blond man for once in casual clothes.

[You look great, Shizuo!]

"Ahhh really? Thanks Celty. Ah, Kasuka."

[Ah you're Shizuo's little brother right? Sorry, I happened to bump into Shizuo on the street and he said he wanted to shop for clothes. He said he was meeting you but you would take some time –ah I'm Shizuo's friend, Celty! Nice to meet you!]

"We've met before." Kasuka said.

[Oh…oh yeah! That time with Hijiribe Ruri at Shinra's house, sorry sorry I forgot. Anyway since you're here I'll leave Shizuo to you! I have a job from Izaya now – that bastard, sending people everywhere while he goes on a date!]

"I see. It's nice to meet you anyway."

[Likewise!]

They shook hands, then Celty turned to Shizuo.

[I still think Izaya is a bastard – but he wasn't so bad the night of your birthday when we had hotpot. I still think you're too good for him and you deserve better; but it's your choice. If you…like him, if he's what you truly want, then I'll support you all the way.]

"Celty."

[Just, don't let him drag you around or anything! Don't give in to him, or give him what he wants –]

Shizuo chuckled, "It's not like that, Celty."

[Eh?]

"You've got it wrong. It's the other way around."

There was suddenly a feral grin on Shizuo's face.

"I make him give in to me."

Celty almost shivered – which was a much milder reaction than the blushing and gasping of the other women in the store, who may or may not have had boyfriends.

And it was because she was in much closer proximity to the devilishly handsome blond man.

Shizuo was such a quiet guy when he wasn't angry that she sometimes forgot he had a wild side.

And it apparently now consisted more than throwing vending machines at his future lover.

[R-Right. That's good to hear. I have to go now, good luck with your date! Tell me how it goes, alright?]

"Yeah. Thanks, Celty."

Shizuo's ferocious grin melted into a soft smile, and Celty felt her heart melt as well.

Izaya was going to be the envy of every woman in Ikebukuro.

Except her – for she already had a certain endearing underground doctor lover in her heart.

…

Moments after the Headless Rider had left with a wave and thumbs up, Kasuka turned to Shizuo.

"Don't worry. You've got this in the bag, Nii-san."

"…In the bag?"

"It's an American saying to indicate success."

"Oh."

"Even if you were in America, you would stand out in a crowd."

Kasuka said emotionlessly but there was a slight quirk to his lips.

"Orihara Izaya is going to be blown away."

…

…

…

Izaya hadn't recognized him at first.

He had been so used to seeing the man he had known for a decade in a bartender suit that his brain couldn't quite compute the blond in casual clothes was the man in a bartender suit.

Shizuo stood near the entrance of Sunshine 60, in clothes as if he was a different person. His blond hair was brushed smartly to the side, exposing his high forehead. He wore an army green jacket with collars a darker shade turned over, over a casual white sleeveless shirt, his beige colored trousers complementing the design. There was a necklace partly covered by the orange scarf around his neck. He stood, his left hand in his pocket and a cigarette between his lips.

Izaya wondered when Shizuo had become a fashion designer until he remembered the blond had a brother who was a famous actor.

But even the amusing thought of Kasuka's reaction to Shizuo asking him for help on choosing clothes didn't tear his eyes away from the scene. His hand gripped the end of his usual jacket, pushing it to the side slightly as he wondered if the clothes his reliable secretary had chosen were adequate.

He watched as Shizuo's sharp eyes darted from side to side. He removed his cigarette from his mouth then exhaled slowly.

He was drawing attention and probably didn't realize it, an impatient look on his features as women whispered amongst themselves about the tall, handsome man standing alone who even had several men take a passing glance.

"Oh my god, look at that guy!"

"Is he a model?"

"I've never seen him around before!"

"He's so tall! Over six feet, definitely!"

"His face is gorgeous! That serious look…"

That's right…where did you come from Mr Handsome Model and what did you do to my Shizu-chan?

Chuckling slightly and suddenly wishing he had come earlier, Izaya leaned against the wall, wondering when he should make his appearance, as his heart beat faster in his chest.

Ahhh…this isn't fair. Why are you always so unpredictable?

His hand covered his face slightly as he turned his gaze to the side.

The blond was oblivious to the fact that a guy over six feet tall and dressed as attractively as him would draw attention, and seemed puzzled when girls approached him.

It was obvious to Izaya what the girls were trying to do, and he waited with bated breath until Shizuo spoke.

"Sorry," he said, his cigarette held in between his thumb and index finger. "It's nice that you're not afraid of me, but I'm not interested. I'm already waiting for a date."

"Why would we be afraid of you?"

"Date? But you've been standing here for so long! She must be really late, you should come with us instead!"

Shizuo's eyebrows furrowed, "Why wouldn't you be afraid of me?" He said. "My date may be late, but I was the one who asked him out so I have a responsibility. So even if he's half an hour late, I'll still be waiting here until he arrives…even if it'd piss me off."

"Yeah, so…see you."

Izaya ducked his head as Shizuo walked away from the girls, going to another place to wait for him.

"Ah…such a waste."

"All the good men are always taken!"

"But he's so cool!"

"Which girl would make a hot guy like him wait?!"

"She's so damn lucky!"

Izaya raised his gaze to see Shizuo leaning back and crushing his cigarette between his thumb and index finger as his foot tapped in impatient beats.

Shizuo, Heiwajima Shizuo who considered giving someone ten seconds of his life generous, would willingly wait half an hour for him?

…Don't tempt me, Shizu-chan.

Izaya laughed softly to himself as he slid his own hands into his pockets, exhaling with a wry smile.

I'll really make you wait for half an hour you know?

Somehow, hearing Shizuo's usual gruff voice had brought him back to reality – in which he realized the signs.

The frown on Shizuo's face, his slumped shoulders, the darting eyes, the hand tugging at his orange scarf, the other hand adjusting his green jacket, the slow tapping of his foot, the crushed cigarette –

He's nervous.

Izaya choked on a laugh.

Shizu-chan's nervous!

His body shook as he considered the very apparent scene he didn't know how he could have not noticed before –

Oh this is precious.

Shizu-chan. Looking like a model out of a fashion magazine, rejecting women so directly, suddenly being the desire of every woman in the vicinity – yet you just don't have confidence in yourself, do you?

He doesn't even realize he's good looking…ah it kind of pisses me off…

- Because Shizuo's expression and demeanour was the very opposite of what his clothes suggested about him.

-Like a boy waiting for a girl who was out of his league

Well, he wasn't a girl, but he was out of Shizuo's league, for he was a god and Shizu-chan was just a monster after all~! Ah, how apt the comparison proved to be!

That was right. Shizu-chan was just Shizu-chan, even if he didn't look like Shizu-chan at the moment.

…

Why was he not bothered?

He didn't know, but he wasn't and that was what mattered, wasn't it?

It meant that somehow, their relationship wouldn't change.

-Unless it was to his advantage. Oh for example if Shizu-chan had fallen in love with him, oh the things he could make that monster do!

Just thinking about it made excitement rise in Izaya's veins. He hummed happily as he made his way to his date.

After all, it was just the start of an interesting new chapter in their twisted story of hatred and love.

One he couldn't wait to see how it would turn out.

"Hey, Shizu-chan~!"

Izaya watched in unveiled amusement as the 'man in the bartender suit' for once not in a bartender suit turned, a twitch already there in his eyebrow and that oh so familiar and amusing grin that suggested the violence he hated on his handsome face.

"You're Three Fucking Minutes LATE, I-iiii-ZAAAA-YAAAAAAAAA-KUUNNNNNN! AND I SAID TO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING ATTIRE, DIDN'T I?! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I SPENT CHOOSING MINE?! PISSING ME OFF ON PURPOSE ON ONLY THE SECOND DATE! YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, DON'T YOU!?"

"Well, I had work to do, you know? And technically, Shizu-chan, I'm late for two minutes and fifty six seconds –"

"SHUT UP! THERE ISN'T A FUCKING DIFFERENCE! AND HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO NOT CALL ME THAT STUPID NICKNAME?! IT'S HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO DAMN IT!"

There was already a signpost in Shizuo's hand and he jabbed it towards Izaya as if it was as light as a knife, his hazel eyes flashing with monstrous anger.

"SHI-ZUO! WE'RE DATING SO YOU HAVE THE FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY TO CALL ME BY MY NAME! SO NOW, RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE! SAY IT TEN TIMES!"

"Okay! Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan," the twitch in the monster's eyebrow was rapidly developing with every repeat of that name as the metal of the signpost cracked under his grip, "Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan –"

"GOD DAMN IT! PREPARE TO DIE, SHITTY FLEEEEEAAAAAAA!"

CRASH

"-Woah, that was a close one! Now, where was I? Shizu-chan," Izaya smiled as if he hadn't just dodged a signpost thrown like a javelin, and the emotion behind that smile was one only he would know.

"Shizu-chan…Shizuo."

The information broker had said the monster's name. And yet, time did not stop and life continued on as normal. Yet –

- For all the all-knowing information broker Orihara Izaya knew, he would never know Heiwajima Shizuo's heart had skipped a beat at the sound of his name from him.

- And even as the strongest man in Ikebukuro, Heiwajima Shizuo, was sure that the flea had done that on purpose to see his reaction, he was not aware that Orihara Izaya had a heart and it had almost stopped in his chest.

"…Say it again."

Shizuo broke the silence.

"Say what?"

Izaya's smile turned into his usual smirk –

"…Shizu-chan."

"…I really hate you, you know that?"

Izaya blinked, for Shizuo was smiling. Shizuo was smiling at him. So he smiled back and said his most beloved words:

"I hate you too, Shizu-chan."

"Tch!" Shizuo scoffed but the smile remained on his lips. He shrugged, "Well whatever, are we going in or not?" He jerked his thumb towards the skyscraper.

Izaya felt strange. Not because the monster was being calm and human like, but because it was the first time someone had asked him to go somewhere.

"…Ah." Izaya said. Slowly, as if he was not used to the action, he shrugged off his furry jacket, revealing the casual clothes Namie had approved. He slung the jacket over his shoulder, cocking his hip with a smirk.

"Satisfied, Shizu-chan? You have to look at the inside rather than the outside, you know."

Shizuo's breath was taken away from him – not because the clothes Izaya was wearing were flawless, but because Izaya had actually listened to him and was standing there in casual clothes for the first time.

And the flea looked good, without that stupid jacket hiding his slender shoulders, a black blazer outlining them instead, the maroon shirt unbuttoned two buttons from the collar to expose his pale skin, the white jeans fitting snugly around his slim waist.

"…You look different," Shizuo finally said.

- Since when did the fucking flea become so fucking sexy?

Izaya blinked, then smiled back, the look in Shizuo's eyes sending a pleasant warmth across his cheeks.

"You look different too, Shizu-chan."

- Who knew Shizu-chan could look so handsome? Ah I guess it's my responsibility to make him wear casual clothes now!

"Ah." Shizuo remembered. He unwrapped the orange scarf from his neck and held it out to Izaya.

"Shizu-chan?"

"Take it." Shizuo said simply. "We're going other places later. Don't want you to freeze your neck off. Since you're my date and all."

Izaya stared, and Shizuo got impatient. He strode forward and threw the scarf around the flea's neck, reaching out his hands to wrap it around Izaya.

"Never thought the first time I did this wouldn't be to some girl but you, flea."

"Like I said," Izaya managed, cheeks pink in the cold, "If Shizu-chan wants a girl he should go find one."

"And like I said," Shizuo said as he tied a knot carefully, "I already have a 'girlfriend' whose name is Orihara Izaya aka the flea."

"…I'm still Shizu-chan's girlfriend?"

"Aren't you?" Shizuo said as he withdrew, and Izaya's hands inadvertently came up to feel the soft material around his neck. "There's no way I'm going to call you my boyfriend, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

"…If Shizu-chan says so." Izaya shrugged after a moment, deciding he didn't really care. Girlfriend or boyfriend, it wasn't like they were in a relationship.

Sliding one hand into the pocket of his jeans, Izaya held out his other hand.

"…What?" Shizuo stared in bewilderment at the informant's hand.

"Aren't you going to take this hand?" Izaya said with a smile.

"I'm your date, aren't I? Shizuo."

Shizuo's eyes widened as he heard his name for the second time from the flea, and at the sight of Izaya's outstretched hand. His chest felt warm, and he cleared his throat, moving forward and stretching out his own hand-

Their fingertips touched, and a tingling sensation shot up their arms.

Izaya and Shizuo withdrew their hands at the same time – their hearts pounding in their chests –

"…Let's go, Izaya"

"Yeah…Shizu-chan."

And Heiwajima Shizuo experienced a rare moment of true peace as Orihara Izaya stood by his side and walked forward with him into the future.

Together.

…

…

Had it been a normal couple, had they been normal people, that was where the story would have ended.

But everyone in Ikebukuro knew Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya were the furthest definition from normal.

The strongest man in Ikebukuro, the Fighting Doll, that 'blond man in a bartender suit', the Monster of Ikebukuro, the God of Destruction, Heiwajima Shizuo – a man with unbeatable strength who did what he wanted for no one except Orihara Izaya dared to cross him.

The information broker of Shinjuku, Kanra-chan, Chrome, Nakura, the informant of the Awakusu-kai, the manipulator of all things happening in Ikebukuro, like a God watching his lovely humans, Orihara Izaya – a man who pulled the strings from the shadows, who always got what he wanted, unless Heiwajima Shizuo interfered.

And because it was Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya, the story did not end.

…

…

Just as they were about to enter Sunshine 60, Shizuo reached out his hand innocently towards Izaya, a shy smile on his face.

Izaya's eyes seemed to soften as he gave an innocent smile in return, reaching out his hand towards Shizuo's.

A light flush appeared on Shizuo's cheeks as he moved to hesitantly grab hold of Izaya's hand –

Which held a knife.

Stab

Which was soon embedded in his palm.

Silence.

Shizuo blinked.

Izaya smiled.

Shizuo looked as if he didn't understand what had happened.

"Izaya?"

"Yes, Shizu-chan?"

"…Did you just stab me?"

"Yes, Shizu-chan."

"Why?"

Was reaching out to hold his 'girlfriend's' hand only on the second date not the right thing to do? Did he have to wait until their third?

Shizuo wondered, and Izaya enlightened him, "Because it was fun."

"…Huh?"

"Because I thought it would be fun."

Izaya said, cheerily, mockingly, with the innocent smile of a child having fun as he drove another knife into Shizuo's hand.

"Now Shizu-chan can't hold my hand."

He said with a happy smile. By this time, the girls who had previously been swooning from afar at the sight of the two handsome men whom the crowd was looking at for a reason unknown to them, were looking rather apprehensive.

"T-That's a knife right?"

"W-Why did he stab him?"

"Why isn't he bleeding?!"

"I-Is it a toy?!"

"W-Wait! T-That's! –"

"I can't hold your hand." Shizuo said.

"You can't hold my hand." Izaya agreed.

"Why can't I hold your hand?" Shizuo twitched.

"Because I stabbed your hand." Izaya smiled.

"And why….DID YOU STAB MY HAND…?"

"Because….I thought it would be fun…!"

Izaya said, and his innocent smile morphed into a malevolent smirk, which made even the orange scarf Shizuo had carefully wrapped around him as if Izaya was his girlfriend, evil looking.

Perhaps it was because his vision was turning red, but the dark orange scarf was starting to look red.

A very dark red.

Like the color of blood.

Which was why Shizuo swung his fist to make his vision a reality.

Which Izaya dodged, hopping away like the flea he was –

Before springing to the side to avoid the flying vending machine, which incited the usual yells in the background.

"Hahahaha! Ahahahaha! This is so fun!"

Izaya laughed as he flung knives in Shizuo's direction, then turned and fled.

The signpost had flown off to somewhere unknown and the vending machine was crushed against the wall.

Shizuo gritted his teeth and shot out his fists, crushing the knives in his hands as he took off after Izaya –

"YOU BASTARD IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAA! STABBING ME ON OUR FIRST DATE AND THEN NOW STABBING ME ON OUR SECOND! COME HERE SO I CAN PUMMEL YOU TO DEATH, FUCKING FLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"HAHAHAHA! I WAS RIGHT! FIRST DATE OR SECOND DATE, OR NO DATE AT ALL, SHIZU-CHAN IS A MONSTER AFTER ALL!"

Orihara Izaya grinned, adrenaline rushing through his veins as he ran into the building, Heiwajima Shizuo hot on his heels.

…

…

Was it love? Had the two most dangerous and feared men of Ikebukuro, Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo, found their happy ending, just like everyone else?

That was a question Orihara Izaya could not answer –

And Heiwajima Shizuo would not care to answer, and would enact violence if asked

And don't ask me either, I don't have the answer. It isn't in the book, A Pedestrian's Guide to Ikebukuro, is it?

Would such information be relevant? If so, I would have to update it.

I doubt that would be possible at the moment though.

Anything can happen with those two.

Love would indeed be a foreign concept to the two men who had hated the other for reasons known and unknown to the other. Whether it would be possible -

The city would just have to wait to find out.

After all, it was just another new unexpected intriguing happening in the everyday peaceful life of Ikebukuro.

Wasn't it?

…

…

HAPPY END

…

…

…

With this, this story is finally over! Thank you everyone for supporting me until now!

This is my first story for Durarara, and it's been 3 years since it was published haha. It's such a joy to have it finally completed!

And yes they sang karaoke after hotpot 'cause why not? It's a birthday celebration after all. I imagine Mikado sang the opening song for Durarara Ten and everyone was like whoa and Izaya and Shizuo sang Kiseki! I wrote a bit of the gathering and hotpot at Russia Sushi but nowhere enough to post haha. Also Shizuo's outfit comes from a certain picture but unfortunately links are reaaallly not working on this site anymore, not even in my profile.

Super long epilogue but it's the end! This story of 3, almost 4 years is completed at last!

And of course, Happy Birthday Heiwajima Shizuo! Normal people write a oneshot or short fic for your birthday and I write a whole multichapter for 3 years LOL. I love you so much Shizu-chan, may you find the happiness and peace you deserve! (Preferably with Izaya, your flea =p)

Happy Birthday, Shizu-chan~!