Thanks to everyone who read and responded to my first post. This chapter as much a guilty pleasure as it is an apology to my darling Faith, who I love. I hope you enjoy!

[Suggested listening: Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead]

The whiskey doesn't even burn anymore as I swallow the last of my glass, squeezin' it so tight it feels like it might shatter. Good. I need something. Any kind of pain to dull the one in my chest. I'm comin' up to the dregs of this bottle, but the other unopened one is dancing in the corner of my eye, just waiting for me to dive in. I'm right there with ya, pal.

I forego the glass and just sip the last from the bottle, lettin' it do it's work as I listen to the teeming downpour outside. It's rainin' cats and dogs right now, and I only just got in before it soaked me to my skivvies. It only rains in the 'Dale once in a blue moon, but when it does? It looks like a fuckin' rainforest out there. I wonder if B got home okay . . .

"Argh," I grunt out into the room, heaving the empty bottle into the opposite wall. Stop fucking thinkin' about her, you numb skull. She's nothing, okay? NOTHING.

So much of nothin' that my bags are packed and by the door, ready for me to hightail it outta dodge at first light. Like some kinda fuckin' coward.

She's not nothing. She's everything. And I'm not even worth the dog shit I stepped in on my way back here. 'Cause my night wasn't a scream already. It took all my strength not to pound the clerk's face in at the liquor store when he asked for ID. I just did what any slut of my caliber would: I flashed him and took my shit, leavin' him standin' there solutin' me from his belt as I left without a word.

I smirk as I stumble over to the bottle on my fridge. Ma was right. She was so very fucking right. I am absolutely worthless.

It takes me forever to get the fuckin' thing open-even Slayer skills get a little Idiots On Parade after a full bottle of Jack-but I manage to pour another glass and sit by the window, watching the rivulets of water race each other down the pane. Must be what I look like right now. The tears started a while ago, but after wiping my cheeks raw, I gave up. Let 'em run. Just like me.

It's the best thing, I keep telling myself as I sip my drink. Running. Gettin' outta here. Startin' somewhere fresh. I can't look at anything in this town without being reminded of her. She's every crack on the sidewalk, every kid at the park, every shoe store on Main Street.

Sunnydale was made for B. The sunshine, the perfect friends, the mom with the pie in the window. And then there's me, the big bad evil that makes her smile not reach her eyes. That thing always lurking that doesn't belong, but has nowhere else to be. That she was made to destroy.

I chuckle and toast the air, sniffling as the tears just pour out without my consent. Well, B, ya did it. You destroyed me. Stuck me right in the heart, and now I have nothin' better to do than disappear like dust in the wind. Then you and the Scoobs can go on tomorrow like nothing ever-

Who the fuck?

I groan. No one knocks at my door but that fucking sleazebag in the office. I know I'm fuckin' behind. If I have to give him one more fuckin' handjob . . .

"I know, Rick!" I shout, not botherin' to get up. "I'll come by in the morning and take care of it. Just fuck off."

"Faith? It's me."

Ouch. So much for dulling the pain. My heart picks up like a fuckin' monkey bangin' on a drum. What the fuck is she doing here? I can't even pretend I'm not here now, she fuckin' heard me yell. Great job, Lehane, you dickhead.

"Faith, please, open the door."

She sounds so desperate, like she thinks I'm in here offin' myself. Well, close enough. I quick use my sleave to wipe my face and go to stand, but my body reminds me I'm drunk off my ass and I topple over onto my nightstand, knockin' shit onto the floor like an asshole.

"Faith?! What's happening in there! Please open the door, please!"

Whelp, here we go. Time to man up and give her the deal. I'm out. Sunnydale's yours. Just as soon as I get on my fucking feet . . .

"Faith!"

"I'm coming!" I bark irritably, trying to roll onto my feet without hurlin'. I manage to stumble to the door, take a huge breath to get myself together, and open the door.

And I'm greeted by the most heart-breaking thing I've ever seen.

B's just standin' there in the pouring rain, hair matted to her face and makeup streaked across her cheeks. The thick sheets of rain illuminated by the street lamps outside are back-lighting her so perfectly it nearly takes my breath away.

"B," I murmur, and her face crumbles as she starts bawling. And I mean she's really losin' her shit. Loud, noisy sobs she can barely contain.

I frown. I wanna reach out and touch her, but I don't want to freak her out even more. "Why ya cryin', B? And why are ya standin' in the rain? How long you been out here?"

"I . . . I just . . ."

I don't wait for her to finish as I take her by the arm and help her inside. She quietly goes with me, drippin' all over my carpet as I shut the door. Her face is buried in her hands when I turn back. "B, what happened? Some demon get the drop on ya?" I look for any cuts on her hands or rips in her clothes, but she seems just the way I left her. Only now it looks like she got pushed in a pool. "You just been standin' in the rain all this time?"

She drops her hands and looks up at me, her eyes wet and red-rimmed, and what little piece is left holdin' my heart together fizzles away. "Buffy, say something."

She sniffles, shufflin' and lookin' at my shitty carpet. "You . . . you left me there."

I shove my hands into my pockets awkwardly. "Well, I was upset."

She nods, snifflin' some more. For a moment there's nothin' but the rain hittin' my window and the creaking of the floor as we both shift uncomfortably. I realize it may be up to me to break the silence, when she whispers, "I didn't know."

If I didn't have Slayer hearin', I probably wouldn't have caught it. But then she looks up at me through fresh tears and says it again, but louder, her tone earnest. "Faith, I didn't know. You never said anything about it, and I had no idea. I swear. I am so . . . so sorry." She starts cryin' hard and every bad thought, every nasty word I thought about her earlier vanishes like they'd never even happened. My arms move on their own and she's wrapped in them without hesitating, not caring that she's gettin' me soaked, her face buried in my shoulder as she sobs so hard I'm afraid she's gonna dehydrate.

"B, it's . . . please stop crying, it's alright. I was mad, ya know? Shh, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" She pulls back enough to look up at me incredulously. "Why are you sorry, Faith? I'm sorry! I invite you out and make you have a miserable time, I accuse you of starting fights, and then . . . and then you tell me something that you should have felt comfortable enough telling me in the first place, and I-I freak out! I completely freak out, and I make you feel like you disgust me or something and you don't! You . . ."

She trails off and I realize she's looking behind me. Her eyes widen and fill with tears and I know she's seen the packed bags. "Buffy . . ."

"You're leaving me?" she sobs, and her eyes are fucking murdering me. I open my mouth to explain but she starts shaking her head. "No, no, Faith, I'm sorry! I am so sorry for everything, don't leave just because of me!" She throws her arms around my neck, clingin' to me as she cries her heart out.

I hold her back just as tight, wanting to assure her that I'm never gonna leave her, that I'll stay as long as she needs, but I can't find the words. I shush to her, runnin' my hand up and down her shaking back. The combination of alcohol and the smell of her perfume are givin' me head rush, making my arms tighten around her. I feel her arms squeeze me back . . . then I feel somethin' else.

Her lips. Very softly brushing below my ear, her breath warm and soft.

And I stiffen like a fuckin' flag pole.

Obviously she didn't intentionally do it, she just turned her head at the wrong time, but fuck, I feel like I'm on fuckin' fire. My kneecaps are aching with the effort of not bucklin' and my arms are strainin' against themselves, not knowing whether to keep her tight against me or fling her across the room.

She's stopped crying, obviously feeling the change. "Faith?"

Gulp. She pulls back again, but I can't look her in the eyes. I'll just settle for looking at her little nose. It's so cute, how it scrunches when she's confu-STOP, look somewhere else. Fuck, not the lips, not those pouty, adorable lips, and how soft they were on my skin . . .

"Look at me."

I can't, B. This is too fuckin' much for me right now. You're upset 'cause I'm leavin', I'm drunk 'cause I love you, nothin' good can come of me drownin' in your eyes.

Her hand comes up and cups my cheek, and my eyes flutter shut, my face turnin' into her palm. Even though her skin is wet and a little clammy, it's Buffy's hand, and the heat intensifies by a jillion.

"Faith . . . you're good enough."

Boom. Eye contact. She's lookin' at me with this tiny little smile, like my reactions to her touches are the most fascinatin' thing in the world. Like I'm . . . something. But she doesn't mean . . . y'know. Buffy. Straight as an arrow Buffy. My expression must say all this because she shakes her head a little, holding my face in both hands, and my heart's beatin' so hard against my chest I'm afraid it's gonna send her flyin'.

"You're good enough, Faith," she says again with such intensity, I'm shaking. "God . . . you're more than good enough. You're perfect."

Before I can do or say anything, her lips are on mine.

HOLY. FUCK.

It's in-fucking-describable. I wanna do flips. I wanna sing. I wanna run out into the rain naked, doin' flips and singing. I'm kissing B! My mouth-oh, and now my tongue-are touchin' Buffy Summers' mouth and tongue. And she seems to want them to! How fuckin' cool is that?

We break away, panting like we just ran two Slayer-sized marathons, and look at one another. I don't even know what to say.

"Wow," she breathes.

Wow is right, girlfriend. But what is going on?

"B, wait, wait," I say as she leans up again, holding her away. "Not that that wasn't awesome, 'cause it totally was . . . but you don't . . ." I sigh, hating every word about to leave my mouth. "Ya don't gotta do this just to get me to stay."

She looks utterly confused, then she bursts out laughing.

O . . . kay.

"Faith, I swear, you're lucky you're cute, 'cause you can be dumb as a bag of hammers sometimes."

HEY. No one calls me cute. And NOBODY calls me dumb. But in the same sentence? Girl's lucky she'scute! And warm. And gorgeous. And . . . I shake it off. "First you're kissin' me and now you're callin' me dumb? Either I'm passed out drunk and dreamin' this or you're drunker than I am, B."

She's still gigglin'.

"B!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she waves, wiping at her eyes. "I just can't believe that's why you think I'm kissing you."

I'm still not getting it. She can see it on my face.

She sighs, lightly tracing my dimples with her fingertips as she speaks, and I feel like my heart's gonna explode in my chest. "Have you always been this pretty?"

Swear to God face, if you start to blush . . . "B."

"I'm sorry, I just . . . you're so pretty it's distracting sometimes."

Ah fuck it face, blush all ya want. "I don't think anyone's ever called me pretty."

She drapes her arms over my shoulders. "Well, everyone else is a stupid idiot, ever think of that?"

She doesn't seem to be pulling away anytime soon, so I take a chance and slide my hands up her back, pressing her closer to me. This time her sigh is kinda shaky and she closes her eyes. It makes my chest pang how fuckin' gorgeous she looks with her cheeks all pink and her eyelashes fluttering. But I'm still convinced she's drunk or somethin'. "B, answer me," I whisper to her, pressing my forehead to hers. "Come on. What is this?"

Buffy looks up at me again with her drippy hair and makeup-stained eyes, and I swear, I've never found her more beautiful than I do right now. "When you left me there, I stood there and got rained on. Like, seriously rained on."

"I didn't notice," I say, looking down at my soaked t-shirt and chuckling. She looks down too, but wasn't chuckling. I realized she was starin' at my hard nipples pokin' up through my top. Now I know I got nice tits, shit's a given. But to see the poster girl for heterosexuality practically drooling on them was fuckin' mind-blowin'. Not to mention makin' my clit throb. But I gotta hear what she has to say. I tilt her chin up with my finger and she goes red, shutting her eyes tight. "Sorry," she says quickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Hey, not complainin'," I laugh, and I swear my grin is threatenin' to break my fuckin' face in half. "Perv on me all ya like, babe. But you were sayin' somethin'?"

"Oh, right," she says, wipin' her face and nose real quick before collectin' herself. "Sorry, um. So yeah, me, rain, soaked. And I had some time to think about what you said. And about how I've treated you. How I've been treating you. And I hate . . . I absolutely HATE that I've given you so many reasons to think that I don't like you. Or don't want you around. God, you're the biggest breath of fresh air I've ever had. I mean I love Will and Xander, they're my best friends, but you and I, we've always been different, haven't we? I mean, there's this thing going on since we've met. And until tonight," she tilts her head, eyes gazing so intently up at me I can barely breathe, "I thought it was only me."

I know what she's talking about, that intensity between us that causes us to fight, to make each other laugh til it hurts, makes us move in sync like a flock of birds turnin' on a dime, but I'm still so fucking terrified that we're not on the same page. I swallow, tryin' to keep my face neutral, but the way she smiles that little smile at me tells me my eyes might as well have a fuckin' voice the way my heart's practically singin' through them.

"And the fact," she continues, shakin' her head a little, "that you think that you're not good enough for me, or good enough in general . . . is gutting me, because not only is it so far from the truth, but also my fault. My fault for being too scared to say anything. So scared that it's making you scared enough to run away, and that makes me . . . okay, if I say 'scared' one more time I think I'm legally prohibited to use it ever again."

I laugh. She's so fuckin' adorable it's unfair.

"I'm not anymore, though," she says, her eyes shining. "I'm so done with that. And you're so enough for me. I know you don't see it, but I do. Everything about you. The fact that even though you've had such a rough life, and people have really never given you a reason to trust them, you're so ready and willing to fight to protect them. How loyal you are to your friends, to your calling. To me. I mean hey, you nearly broke that guy's arm for me tonight, the least I can do is make out with you," she says with a wink and makes me chuckle, and how someone whose eyes are puffy and red from crying can still make winking look sexy, I'll never know. It's just a B thing, I guess.

But all these compliments are givin' me anxiety, and I can't really look her in the eye, so she leans down to catch mine.

"You talk a lot of game, that's just your personality, and frankly, your confidence in yourself is what draws every living person to you, but you're still incredibly humble. And I promise, when I'm done with you, you will learn to take a real compliment."

Fuck, she knows me so well. I smirk at her. "Speakin' of cocky."

"Not cocky, confident."

"Always gotta be right, dontcha?"

"Yup," she chirps, leaning up and kissing my bottom lip tenderly. Wow. The lightnin' that shoots through me just from that . . . Who needs coffee anymore? I'll just get one of those in the mornin' and pow, ready to take on the world.

She pulls back slowly and rests her head on my shoulder. "So please, Faith, don't leave. I need you here. I'm sorry it took so long to admit it, but don't leave me."

Done.

I'm staying.

I musta been out of my fuckin' gourd.

I push her back a little so I can see her and brush the wet bangs off her face. Her eyes are questioning, like she's as terrified as I am, so I cup her cheek and do what I've wanted to do since the minute I first saw her.

When I press my lips to hers, I feel the relief pour out of her in her exhale as she gets on her toes and crushes me to her. She knows it. As she opens her mouth to let me slide my tongue in, she knows I ain't goin' anywhere. What a fuckhead I was.

"I won't," I pant as we break for air, my lips brushing against hers because I can't bear to have them not touching. "I'm here, B, and I'm not leavin'."

She sobs into my mouth when we kiss again, this time so passionately I might keel over. Our tongues are duelin' and our hands are clutchin'. The flood gates have opened, people!

I realize where this is going, but I can still feel B shiverin' against me. Whether or not it's desire or the cold, she's still soaked to the bone. "B," I whisper as I break away. "I wanna do this so bad, but we gotta get you outta these clothes."

She goes bright red.

"Wait, not," I stammer like a fool. "I mean, yeah, like that, maybe, at some point, but I meant so you don't get fuckin' pneumonia."

She looks down as if only just rememberin' her soggy clothes. "Oh, right," she giggles, plucking at her wet shirt, then looking back at mine. "I guess you have to change, too. Sorry about that, by the way, I just kinda came in here with a purpose and didn't think."

"Nah, don't sweat it. Besides, not everyone can say they got Faith Lehane wet with one kiss," I smirk, winkin' at her.

This time her blush is cute, and she giggles before holding up her hand and giving herself a little high-five. I laugh loudly and can't help but lay one on her, both of us grinnin' like idiots into the kiss. I finally pull away long enough to go through my bags and pull out some shorts and a tee for her, and another tee for myself. "Here ya go. Might be a little big on ya."

"Thanks," she says, then shyly looks up at me. "Given the fact that you didn't give me a raincoat and galoshes, am I to guess that you want me to . . . stay over?"

I shrug, even though my stomach is flippin' out a little. "Well, yeah. I ain't sendin' ya back out into the rainforest, that's for damn sure."

She looks out the window and nods. "Right. Okay. I'll just . . . change in the bathroom?"

I raise an eyebrow. "You plannin' on changin' outside?"

She swipes at me with the shirt. "Stop. I just . . . I know I came over here and made with the big 'I'm totally gay for you' speech and sealed it with a big tonguey kiss, but-"

"But you think I'm expectin' to fuck ya tonight."

Lookin' at the clothes in her hand, she shrugs like it's no big deal. I move closer to her and cup the backs of her arms. When she looks up, I surprise both her and myself by kissing her gently on the cheek.

I'm no idiot. I know who I'm dealin' with. If this were any other chick, she'd have been naked twenty minutes ago and I'd have her sittin' on my face, no questions asked. But this is Buffy.

"You're not the only one in this boat, B," I say quietly. She doesn't seem convinced. "So, we have this thing. We don't exactly know what to call it, but we both have the hots for each other. And I know you know I've been around the block. I ain't exactly kept that a secret. And your love life, kinda the opposite."

She turns away, but I pull her gaze back. "And I ain't doin' anything you don't wanna do."

She looks like what just said made her melt. I was just bein' honest. "Really?"

"B, the fact that you want to, that you've even thought about it, is fuckin' incredible to me."

Her smile nearly makes the lights dim. She kisses me hard and quick. "You're fucking incredible."

"Better watch the swearin', B," I smirk. "Last thing I need is the gang thinkin' I corrupted the golden girl."

I see her eyes flash and smile drop for a moment, and I know we're both thinkin' about it. The gang. If this thing is for real, what they're gonna say, and my heart stops. Until she gives me this sexy little smile that I've never seen, at least in my direction. "Well, maybe I want a little corruption."

Lemme tell ya, if I had a dick, it'd be hard as fuck right now. My fuckin' emotions have done so many twists and turns and ups and downs tonight I'm surprised I ain't got motion sickness or somethin'. "That right?"

She bites her lip and nods. I shrug. Okay then.

Without a word, I take my shirt off and toss it on the chair.

Her eyes go huge when she sees I ain't wearin' a bra.

"Too much?" I ask after a minute or so of her jaw layin' on the floor. "I can put it back on if . . ."

"No!" she says quickly as I reach for the shirt, and I raise my eyebrow. "No, that's . . .whew, um . . . I mean not that I haven't seen other girls' boobs before, because hey, girl here, and I've been in a locker room or two in my time, so trust me, seen lots of naked girls. Not that I liked it! I wasn't interested in them, or at least I don't really know if I was since I'm only kinda coming out tonight, and I'm not even coming out lesbian, more coming out Faith-sexual so really, how would we even know if-"

"B."

"Yeah?"

"C'mere."

She visibly swallows before coming closer, her eyes going back and forth from my face and my rack. I know, honey. Go 'head. Take a good long look. They're all yours.

When she's a few inches away, she stops, staring up at me. I put my hands on her shoulders, pushin' her jacket off and down her arms without taking my eyes off hers. She's still shakin', but I don't think it's from the cold anymore. My hands go to her hips, my thumbs brushing underneath the damp material of her shirt as I lean in for another kiss. She responds immediately, holding my biceps tightly as I slide my hands completely under her shirt to run up the smooth skin of her back.

"Faith," she breathes against my lips, her hands coming up into my hair.

"Gotta get you outta these clothes, B," I whisper slyly.

Her eyes are wide as she says, "So . . . let's."

I think I actually just came a little bit. Definitely felt a little pulse. Holy shit.

Slowly, I lower my hands and grab the hem of her shirt, raising my eyebrows in question, and she lifts her arms above her head, allowin' me to slide the shirt up and off. Her pink bra with lace on the border is so Buffy, all girly and sexy and classy, but I don't move to take it off, not yet. I slide my palms up her bare sides and back, lettin' her get used to the idea that her clothes are comin' off.

Her hands are playing the loops of my jeans, but her eyes are all over my chest, and I know she's just itchin' to do somethin' but has no clue how to go about it. I take pity on her and grab her wrists, bringing her hands to my stomach and sliding them up. "S'okay, B."

Her breathin' gets quicker and deeper as I let her wrists go, and she watches her hands move up my abs to my ribs, comin' to the sides of my tits before movin' slowly over them, pressing her palms to my rock hard nipples.

"Buffy," I sigh, unable to contain the moan behind it.

She bites her lip and presses her forehead to my cheek, almost panting. "I've . . . I've never . . ."

"I know, baby," I whisper, my hands digging into her shoulder blades. "It's okay if you don't wanna."

"No, I do," she says, kissing my collar bone tenderly. "I just don't want to disappoint you."

I can't help the low chuckle in my throat. "Not even remotely possible, B. Just bein' in the room with ya gets me ready to go. Always has."

She smiles up at me through her eyelashes, clearly pleased. Damn, that smile gives me butterflies every time. And not girl butterflies, by the way, in case you start thinkin' it. More like monster truck butterflies. With guns and shit.

"Feeling's mutual," she purrs as she leans in and kisses my lips, which quickly escalates into a kiss much more passionate than the others. I tighten my arms around her and feel a little groan as her breasts push right up into mine. One hand slides to the wet clasp of her bra, and she slows the kiss for a moment before plunging her tongue deep into my mouth.

Okay then.

I pop it open in one go. Got hands like a freakin' violinist when it comes to girls' bras. Shakin' the thought of the idea that I could have ever settled for someone less than the fuckin' goddess in my arms, I gently slide the straps down her shoulders before hooking my fingers in the cups, gently peeling them off her damp skin.

My dreams ain't got SHIT on reality. The mixture of the water and the cold made her perfect little pink nipples hard and tight. She's smaller than me, but not too much. The perfect handful. Which I will now demonstrate.

"Oh," she moans as I slowly cup both breasts, squeezing them lightly. My thumbs circle her nipples and her breath comes out all shaky. "That's good."

Her breath hits my lips as I watch her face. I can see her eyes rolling behind her lids as I pinch her nipples between my thumb and pointer, twistin' them a little. I can't help it anymore. I kiss her pulse point, moving down her throat and chest with wet kisses before I replace my fingers with my mouth.

She gives a girly squeak before letting out a loud moan as I lick first her left nipple, then her right, pulling it into my mouth and sucking for all I'm worth. I drag my teeth to the tip and flick my tongue over it. Crouching a little, I grab the backs of her thighs and lift her up without taking my mouth off her tits. She immediately wraps her legs around my waist as I walk her to the bed. Her jeans are soggy as she holds onto me. One more reason to get 'em off her.

We're both pantin' like crazy as I kneel down and gently lay her on the bed with a solid hand on her back. Buffy just stares up at me, her hair all over my pillow, chest naked and heaving, eyes the darkest green I've ever seen them. That thing I said about my dreams and reality? Well now times that by a million.

"God, you're beautiful," I say quietly as I kiss her softly a few times.

"The words 'pot' and 'kettle' come to mind," she murmurs, her voice trembling. My instincts are to laugh her compliment off again, but I keep 'em in check as I lean back in for a scorching kiss, my hand sliding down to her hip and playing with the waistband of her jeans. I can feel the button under my fingertips, but I don't pop it open just yet.

"Faith," she whispers.

"Yeah?"

"I want to . . ." Her eyes are back at my chest, her cheeks bright pink.

I nod and smile, sitting up to straddle her thighs and pulling her with me so she's basically eye-level with the girls.

She looks me up and down like a starving kid staring at Thanksgiving dinner, trailing one hand down my chest and stomach. " I don't . . ."

"I'm all yours, B, just go with it," I tell her, pushing her wet hair back behind her ears. I pull her face to mine and give her a little kiss, trying to look as reassuring as I can. I ain't ever done anythin' like this, go slow and all, but I've never been so turned on in my whole life.

She kisses down my chin and neck, suckin' a little at my pulse and my hips roll into hers on their own. She's drivin' me wild before she even really touches me. When she gets to my tits she no longer looks scared. Kissin' the inside of one, and then the other, she looks right a me before placing a real sweet kiss right on my nipple.

"Ugh, Buffy," I groan, scratchin' her scalp as she flicks her tongue out, licking over me a few times before suckin' on it just like I did. I sweep her hair back behind her shoulders so I can get a front row seat for this.

Back and forth between my breasts, sucking on one nipple then the other, and I'm so fuckin' wet I know I'm gonna need to buy new leathers. When her teeth come out to play, I nearly jackknife her into the headboard. I growl and grab her arms, pushing her down onto her back. She lets out another little squeak, but she smiles all cute up at me, her eyes dancin' 'cause she knows she's got me revvin' like a muscle car. "Goddamn, B. You sure you never done this before?"

She shakes her head and pulls me closer, bringin' her legs up outside of mine to squeeze my sides. "No, just thought about it. Many, many times."

We kiss again hungrily, but there's still this naggin' in the back of my head that maybe this is too soon. Maybe this is just the alcohol, the intensity of what happened tonight, her fear that I'm gonna leave if she doesn't. And even though the trouble-maker in me is telling that voice to shut the fuck up and let me do this, I can't ignore it.

"B," I whisper as I break away, pushing my forehead to hers. I know this is gonna make me sound like a baby-back bitch, but I know Buffy wouldn't make fun of me. "Look, this, what we're about to do, what we're doing. . . if we do this, it's a game-changer. I don't think I could go back. It ain't . . ." Here we go, my submission for The World's Biggest Pussy award. "It ain't just a fuck to me, Buffy."

We're both laying there in the aftermath of that bomb I just dropped, panting away, both watching for the others reactions. I can't read her face. Shit. She thinks I don't want to have sex with her I bet. Or that I'm movin' too fast. Or, y'know, the aforementioned pussy. If I didn't want to run before-

Wait. Why's she cryin' again? The fuck? I just got her to stop! "B, what's wrong?"

Then she laughs. Happy tears? She's shakin' her head, sniffling. "God, you really ARE dumb!"

So much for her not makin' fun of me! I groan and grab a pillow, sockin' her on the head with it while she laughs some more. "Faith, stop, gimme that," she giggles, taking the pillow and tossing it. "Stop, I'm not laughing at you, I swear, baby."

Mm. Baby. I like that little tingle. She wraps her arms around my back so I'm fully on top of her and sighs. "It isn't that for me either. I would never . . . just do this. I've thought about all this before. Not just the sex. All of it. The you and me together thing. For a long time, it scared me."

I can't believe we're talkin' about being together, but I don't want to stem her flow. "And now?" I ask, hating how nervous my voice sounds.

She's staring deep into my eyes as she plays with the little hairs on the back of my neck. "And now it doesn't matter at all. My mom, the gang, Giles. If they find out, yeah, it will probably be weird for a while, and it might even suck really bad, but they'll get over it, because they're good people. But if you left? I would never get over it. God, all I would ever do is replay tonight in my head over and over until I'd go crazy."

She pulls me down for a quick, firm kiss, keeping my forehead against hers, and I get the feelin' she's really crackin' her chest open with whatever she's about to say, but bein' a big brave Slayer and sayin' it anyway. "I need you, Faith. I need you tonight, I'll need you tomorrow, and I plan on needing you for a very, very long time. I don't care if people talk or stare or think we're weird, because if I have you, I'm gonna be the happiest person in the world."

My breath caught in my throat at the first 'need,' and I'm pretty sure my heart stopped, but when she reaches up to wipe her thumbs under my eyes, I realize I'm cryin' too. No one has ever said anything so . . . nice to me. She looks up at me, all happy and teary, and I can't help but giggle. I'm gigglin' and cryin' like a total chick. And the craziest part? I wouldn't even care if she ran out into the street screamin' "I MADE FAITH CRY SAPPY TEARS!" 'cause I'd be right next to her, pointin' at my tears and shoutin' with her.

Fuck me, I am in love with this girl.

I slide my hands under her back and crush her to me, kissing her hungrily and feeling her tongue duel with mine. No more hesitatin' and thinkin' she doesn't want this just as much as I do. 'Cause she's gettin' it. I am making it my personal mission to give her the best she has ever gotten.

Kissing my way down her neck and chest, makin' sure her perky little Buffy boobs get some special Faith-lovin', I sit back on my heels and pop open her jeans. She lifts her butt up as I shimmy 'em down along with her panties, bitin' her lip like I'm unwrapping a gift that she cannot wait for me to open, which is so very true. As hard as it is, I keep my eyes off her pussy til I get her jeans off her ankles and toss them somewhere, and then reward myself.

Buffy's pussy.

In my dreams, I always imagined that it would be the perfect sexual representation of the original Slayer herself. And boy howdy was I right. It's perfect. Clean-shaven with the prettiest little pink lips I've ever seen, aside from the equally perfect ones on her face. Aw, and her clit. Look at it. A sweet little button, all hard and waitin' for me. She's soaked. Glistenin' and ready.

"Look at you," I breathe as I run my hands along her spread thighs. "So fuckin' pretty, B. Just like you."

She's blushin' all happy when I look back at her face, but I see her eyes droppin' down to my leathers a few times and I know she wants them off. No worries, baby. I quick get up and shed 'em, thankful I didn't bother to wear underwear-after so long of not wearing any it starts feelin' like I got a diaper on-and let her take a good look.

Climbin' up real quick to give her a kiss (shit, I'm never gonna get tired of being allowed to do that now whenever I want!), I settle back down between her legs. I kiss her belly, where the soft lines of muscle start to v into her hips, and with a soft smile up at her, I place both hands on her thighs and gently encourage her legs apart, letting them rest on either side of my shoulders. Fuck, she smells delicious. Nuzzling my nose along the juncture of her thigh, I lean in real slowly and kiss her pussy real soft and sweet.

Her hips jut up as she gasps. Considering how swollen she is, she must be really fuckin' turned on. I slide my arms around her thighs and kiss her again, this time lettin' my tongue delve right up her slit for my first taste. Shit, I'm a goner. She tastes so good. Forget the whiskey and the vodka. Fuck, forget water. This is all I plan on drinkin' from now on.

One of her hands got my sheets in a death grip, and I feel the other one go through my hair, pushin' a little. I go for broke and lick straight from her ass to her clit, gatherin' every drop of juice I can before circling her clit.

"Oh fuck, baby," she whimpers, fisting my hair.

I lap at her clit, goin' up and down then side to side, and I have to hold tight to her hips to keep her from breakin' my nose with her pelvic bone. Part of my brain is doin' the Electric Slide at the thought that I'm going down on Buffy fuckin' Summers, and the rest is focused on eatin' her out as best I can.

See, I've done this before. Many times, with many faceless, not-worth-remembering chicks. What can I say? Faith Lehane is a giver. When it comes to oral sex, Miss Faith No-Middle-Name Lehane is the fuckin' Make A Wish Foundation. But not once has the feelin' of a wet pussy on my tongue made me this fuckin' turned on. My heart is aching as I look up at the face of this girl, this incredible woman who has completely taken control of every single thing I do every day, and I feel my pussy contract at the look on her face. Her head tossed to the side, her eyebrows scrunched, her nostrils flaring and her mouth in this adorable little 'o' as she gasps and moans with every flick of my tongue. Nothing will ever beat this moment for the rest of my life, so I quick take mental stock of it all and store it away.

I move off her clit, taking a moment to look at her little hole, squeezing with every flinch of her abs. She opens her eyes when she realizes I've stopped and we make eye contact between her spread legs. Panting, she watches for what I'm about to do, so I reach up and take her hand out of my hair and lace our fingers. With a grin, I wink up at her and dip down, teasing her hole with the tip of my tongue.

"Uh!" she squeals out, squeezing my hand as I circle around it, barley entering every time I swipe over it. "Faith, please!"

I look up at her. "Please what, baby?" I ask all husky and deep.

She swallows, breathing hard. "I want . . . put your tongue inside me, please."

Yup. That time it happened, I came a little.

Groaning, I spread her legs wider with my shoulders, gettin' her nice and open for me, and I slide my tongue in as far as it'll go.

"UNGH!" she cries out, and she practically tosses my hand outta hers, lettin' it join the other on the back of my head as she squeezes my hair tight. Her little pussy hole is squeezin' my tongue tight, pulsin' all over it, and I could die right now, totally happy.

There's somethin' so special about this, so romantic, even though it should be raunchy as fuck. I'm up inside this perfect girl's most intimate place, and she actually wants me there, and her body is huggin' me tight. My precious Buffy is squeezin' at me with her insides, and fuckin' loving every second of it. My heart is throbbin' in time with my clit. Fuck, my heart is about to burst.

I feel this gorgeous flood of wetness on my cheeks as I start to plunge in and out of her as strong and as deep as I can. I can't quite reach her g-spot, and fuck if I'm not tryin' my damndest, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. She's tossin' her head back and forth and shoutin' like I'm killin' her. Her thighs are clenchin' like she's fightin' so hard to keep them from poppin' my head like a piñata, so I close both arms around 'em to give her somethin' to press against.

This selflessness I'm showin' is somethin' that would have made the old me poke fun at myself, but it's all I can do. Who gives a fuck if I'm uncomfortable in this weird bent-over position, usin' all my muscles to keep her relaxed and nearly breakin' my tongue off at the root tryin' to get her off? Her juices, Buffy Summers' juices, are flooding my mouth and all that means is that I'm making this amazing woman feel better than she ever has in her life.

"Oh God, oh FUCK, Faith," she whimpers as she starts to shake like a leaf. The heat she's creating and the clenchin' of her pussy around my tongue means only one thing. "Oh my God, baby, I'm gonna . . . oh, I'm gonna come."

"Come," I whisper hoarsely to her between licks. "Come for me, baby. Come all over my face, I want it. I want it so bad."

She lets out a strangled cry at that, buckin' her hips up as far as my strength will let them. Just when I feel she's at the peak, I latch my lips around her clit and reach around, driving two fingers up into her and right up against her g-spot.

"AAAAAAAAUUUGGGH FUCK FAITH!" she screams, and her come rushes out down my hand.

I pull my fingers out and replace them again with my tongue, lapping and sucking at all her come until her hips stop bucking and she sighs like a wrung-out rag of happy.

"Faith," she breathes, her hands patting my shoulders as if she's trying to pull me up but can't find the strength. I give her pussy one last kiss-I'll be back, cutie, I promise-and crawl my way back up her body, kissin' everywhere I can, before buryin' my face in her neck. I feel her arms come up and hold me loosely, knees just barely rising to press against my hips, and for the first time in probably forever, I feel . . . safe.

I don't know how long we laid there just pantin' and baskin' in each other, but after a while she starts to stir and stretch. "Mmm," she sighs out, a gorgeous rumble in her chest against mine, and her fingers start drawing out patterns on my back, making me realize how sweaty I am. "Wow. I never . . . that was a first."

I dunno if she meant the oral sex or the orgasm. I look up at her, frownin'. "What? You never came?"

Whether her blush was from the high I just gave her or embarrassment, she looked away and nodded. Now I feel like a shit for makin' her admit that instead of lettin' the comment slide. "Hey." I raise up over her and cup her cheek, and her eyes come back to mine, shyly. "Nothin' ta be ashamed of. It ain't as easy for girls to come as it is for guys, y'know?"

The edges of her lips curl up. "You didn't seem to have any trouble."

That makes me laugh. "Nah, I'm pretty good at findin' out what girls like."

Now the smile drops. "A lot of girls?"

I don't know the best way to answer that without ruining the most perfect moment of my entire life. She knows I've been a real Runaround Sue my whole life, but I can feel it in my gut that those days are long gone. The thought of even lookin' at another chick who isn't B is downright laughable now. I take a deep breath and give her the most assuring look I can. "No, baby. There's only ever been one. And she's right here."

And DAMN was that the right thing to say. She grins so wide I'm sure she's hurtin' her cheeks and pulls me down for a sweet kiss.

I'm so wrapped up in how amazing this feels that she gets the upper hand and flips us over, holdin' my wrists down. Ha, okay, uh uh. No. I go to fix this problem but she's got me in a steel grip.

"C'mon, B, lemme up."

"Nope," she says smugly. "It's my turn."

I can feel my heart racing, and not in a good way. I've never had someone strong enough to top me. Not since . . .

"Faith?"

"Lemme up."

"Okay."

Buffy lets me go without another word and I immediately sit up, swingin' my legs over the edge of the bed and breathin' hard. She lets me calm myself a little before resting her hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't . . ." I close my eyes tight and shake my head, willing the sound of rushing water to get the fuck outta my ears. "It's not you, I just . . ." A big breath comes wooshin' out of me as I feel my heart rate even out. "I don't bottom."

She rests her chin on my shoulder and slides an arm around my waist. "Baby . . ." she whispers, kissing my neck softly.

"I'm okay," I say quickly, and I feel my face burning. When did I become such a victim? I feel like one of those beat up girls on SVU gettin' patted on the head by Olivia Benson. "Just some emotional backwash from . . . y'know, when I was a kid."

I don't know when I got hit with this truth spell. Must just be a part of that safe feeling I get around B.

She doesn't say anything for a little and I feel like I've ruined everything. I don't know if I want her to stay silent or to try to pity me in some way; both seem really awful. But then she pulls me to lie down and turns me so I'm back on top of her between her legs, and she's just gazin' into my eyes.

"We'll get there together, okay?" she says with a smile, scratchin' the base of my skull.

. . . My bones feel like jell-o.

"Buffy . . ."

She brings me down for a tender kiss, and I realize that she doesn't need me to talk about it. Not now. She doesn't think I'm weird. Fuck, she's probably assumed things about my upbringing (or lack thereof) since the first time she met me. But never once brought it up or tried to find out.

How did this night go from one of the worst nights of my life, to the single best?

Her hands are sliding down my waist to my hips, then reachin' down to cop a huge feel of my ass, reminding me just how ready to pop I am. I growl and thrust up into her, makin' both our breaths catch as our pussies come into rough contact.

"Fuck, Buffy," I grunt, thrusting a little quicker.

"God, you're so wet, baby," she pants, wrapping her legs around my waist and increasing the contact. "I can feel it dripping all over me."

Her voice in my ear is gettin' me so keyed up I think I'm goin' cross-eyed.

"Oh fuck, oh Buffy," I whimper, my arms strainin' to keep me up.

"Say my name, Faith," she urges, bringing her hands up into my hair. "Who makes you feel this good?"

"Buffy . . . Buffy, oh god, Buffy." It's like a mantra being ripped from my throat. I don't recognize the voice of the animal who has taken over my body as I pound our centers together, our slick arousal dripping everywhere and mixing into the sheets.

Then I feel the fire, that heat coiling up in my stomach and spreading through my body. I ain't ever been this turned on in my life, and I feel like my head's gonna blow off.

"Faith."

I open my eyes and she's staring right into mine.

"I'm so close, B," I moan.

Her hands tighten in my hair. "Come for me, baby."

And I do.

The scream I let out almost hurts and I know I'm probably bangin' her head into the headboard, but I feel like I'm bein' electrocuted. I thrash into her again and again as my pussy convulses, coverin' her in my juices and sweat and everything that has lead up to this moment flashes behind my eyes, nearly blindin' me, and it's all too much. . . .

"Faith?"

I peel my eyes open, tryin' to piece together my surroundings.

"There you are."

Buffy's leanin' over me on one elbow, pushin' some of my hair off my face. I go to reach up, but my arms are under the covers. What kinda Houdini shit is this?

"You checked out for a few there, babe," she says, seein' my confusion.

I untangle myself from the covers and put a hand to my head. "How long was I out?" I say, and I sound kinda nervous. Faith Lehane doesn't pass out from orgasms, okay? That's some bitch shit right there.

She smiles and says. "Just a few minutes. Not even. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." And she punctuates it with a little kiss on my cheek.

I feel myself smilin' back a little sheepish. She can read me like a fuckin' book, and while that should creep me out, I like it a whole lot.

"Jesus," I murmur, suddenly feeling exhausted, and her arms come up around my neck and shoulders, pulling me so I'm lyin' on top of her, my cheek resting right on the swell of her breast and her nipple inches from my lips. Her hands come up into my hair, her nails lightly scratchin' my scalp. I feel like a baby who just got fed and burped, gettin' ready to sleep for 20 hours.

"You tired, baby?" she purrs into my hair.

"No," I yawn, makin' her laugh. "Aright, so I am. But don't get used to it, okay? It's been a busy night. Next time you better watch out."

I got a whole ton of shit I wanna do to her. Thinkin' maybe I oughta get a strap-on. Just imagining it is enough to make my mouth water, but there's time for all that later. Right now I'm gonna do something I never thought I'd do: snuggle.

I hear a happy little 'mmm' when I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss the breast closest to me. "Faith?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

All the pinchin' in the world couldn't wake me up from this dream. I feel my heart pang in my chest as I lean up to drop a kiss on her lips, cupping her face in my hand. "I love you, too. Always have."

And when she smiles back, like really smiles, I realize I've never said those words to anyone.

When tomorrow comes, I know she ain't gonna freak out or regret this. Not sure how I'm so confident about it, but I am.

We'll tell the gang, Mrs. S, G-man. Maybe not first thing, but eventually.

The pieces will fall into place.

And if they don't? Fuck 'em.

'Cause everything I've ever wanted is right here, in my arms.

And when I lay my head back down on her chest, and feel that steady heartbeat against my ear, I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be.

For the very first time in my life, I'm home.