Our take on all the Black/White rewrites across the site, none of which we've actually read. That said, there will be shipping, but we try not to make it the main focus. I came up with the idea and my sister helps write and does the editing, so there are two authors you need to thank for this if you laugh as hard as I think you will.
WARNING: This story is written by a boy living in his own little world and a girl with way too much time on her hands. It is not meant to be taken seriously before the Ferris wheel scene, and if you do, I pity you.
Once upon a time, in Nuvema Town, a pair of twins were born to parents who probably weren't ready to raise two children at once. While Hilda was the one who brought home the grades from school, Hilbert was more of a hands-on learner who, while occasionally showing that he wasn't a complete moron, did at times seem dumber than a sack of potatoes.
Though the twins tried, and for the most part succeeded, at establishing differences, they shared a set of best friends that had been with them since their first day of kindergarten. Cheren was more Hilda's friend and just hung out with Hilbert because he was always there, and Bianca was probably only friends with Hilbert because she was pleased that there was someone more incompetent than she was, but when it came down to it, both of them did care for the boy in their own ways.
It was around their fifteenth year of existence that Professor Juniper called Hilda, Bianca and Cheren to give them a special mission. The three gathered in Hilda's bedroom, debating who would open the big box sitting on her desk.
"It's her house," Cheren was saying. "Let's let Hilda open it."
"Fine with me," Bianca agreed.
Hilda got off her bed to get the box, when something caught her attention. Something that shouldn't have been there. Or, rather, someone...
"Hey, big sister!"
Hilbert.
"And what do you think you're doing?" Hilda demanded, stepping in front of the box to keep it out of her brother's sight. Too late. Hilbert had already spotted it, and dashed past her to grab a hold of it. He ripped the lid off the box, and stared at the three small balls inside.
"These are Pokeballs!" he cheered, hugging the box. "Oh, you shouldn't have!"
"We didn't," Cheren said, yanking the box from the other boy's hands. "These are from Professor Juniper, and they are for me, Hilda, and Bianca."
Hilbert blinked.
Cheren stared.
Hilbert's eyes started to water.
Cheren's eyes rolled back into his head.
Hilbert let out a long, ear-splitting wail that sent the girls running downstairs to explain to his mother that he wasn't hurt, he'd just found Professor Juniper's presents.
Cheren facepalmed but didn't let go of the box.
"Mommy!" Hilbert cried, nearly knocking Hilda and Bianca back down the stairs as he ran to complain to his mother. "How come Hilda gets a Pokémon and I don't? I want a friend! I want a Pokémon! I want one just likemeeeee!"
Cheren cringed at the sound, but otherwise ignored it and placed the slightly dented box back on Hilda's desk, where the three Pokémon were left unhurt. "All right. Now that that's over with..."
"Wait," Hilda said, and she dragged the giant Snorlax doll her father had sent her from Kanto over the door, blocking it from any intrusive mothers and brothers. Satisfied, she plunked down on her bed. "OK. You can continue now."
"Are you sure, Hilda?" Hilda stuck out her tongue, and Cheren returned his attention to the box. "Well, as I was saying, it's Hilda's house, so Hilda gets first pick."
Hilda looked down at the three balls, not sure which to choose. Professor Juniper had mentioned a Tepig, an Oshawott, and a Snivy, but she wasn't sure which one she liked best.
"I'll take this one," she said, picking one at random. There was a small, leaf-shaped sticker on the ball. She'd chosen the Snivy.
Bianca grinned and reached into the box. "And I'll take this one," she said happily, grabbing both of them. She handed one over to Cheren. "You can have that one."
"And what makes you think you can make my decisions for me?" But Cheren was nearly laughing, something Hilda realized had been nearly impossible to catch him doing lately. "It's all right, I wanted Tepig anyway."
Bianca brightened at the statement. "That's a good thing, then. Now, why don't we have a battle to see who gets to be the greatest trainer of them all?"
Hilda and Cheren exchanged a look. It couldn't really hurt...
Hilbert sipped at the glass of milk his mother had given him, seemingly over the disappointment. Even the crashes and battle cries coming from upstairs didn't bother him as he tried to tune it all out.
The arrival of three nervous teenagers in the living room, however, set him off again, and he only calmed down once his mother had whispered something.
"I'm sorry about the trouble," Cheren said after they explained that Hilda's room had been completely annihilated in the battle. "We could clean up..."
"I'll take care of that," Hilda's mom promised. "After all, I need something to do when my kids are gone."
After a quick mumbled thank-you, Cheren took off to Professor Juniper's lab and Bianca ran off to her house. Unfortunately, Hilda caught the plural her mother had used. "Hilbert gets a Pokémon?"
"He gets to come along with you on your journey," her mom corrected. "I think you two should go and get Bianca before your journey starts, don't you agree?"
"But..."
"But nothing!" Hilbert huffed. "Mom said you have to take me!"
Hilda's left eye twitched, and her mother sensed a protest coming. But, with a sigh, Hilda grabbed her brother by the back of the shirt and forcibly dragged him from the house, hoping to get Bianca's parents to temporaily trade him for their daughter. She knew how protective her friend's father could get. Maybe if he had someone else to supervise...
''Professor Juniper, do you have a fourth Pokémon?" Hilda asked, as she followed Cheren and Bianca into the lab. "Lie to me, if you do."
Professor Juniper was not an unreasonable woman. She did have a tendency to get a little sarcastic at times, but she always had the best intentions. So, she didn't think about the answer at all, until she saw Hilbert. Then, she immediately understood. "Fourth Pokémon?" Professer Juniper repeated, feigning disappointment. "I'm sorry, I only had the three."
That's when an Oshawott wandered out from a back room, burping loudly. "Well, I guess lying's no use now," Hilda said, and Professor Juniper cleared her throat.
"I wouldn't say that," she said, nervously tugging at the sleeve of her lab coat. "This one is, how do I say it?" She made a few hand gestures as she tried to find the words, but Hilbert had already moved on to the Oshawott. He stared at it, as if studying every inch of it.
The Oshawott stared back.
Hilbert stared.
The Oshawott picked its nose.
Hilbert stared.
The Oshawott scratched its ear with its foot.
Hilbert stared.
The Oshawott made a platypus face.
"This is my Pokémon!" Hilbert suddenly yelled, causing multiple noises of surprise or, in the professor's case, horror. "I will call him Tommy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Tommy."
Professor Juniper closed her eyes to avoid watching the idiocy going around. "That Oshawott is...special," she told the teenagers. "A lot like you, Hilbert. He likes to eat things."
"That just makes it more perfect!"
"No, he eats things he's not supposed to eat, not edible things in large amounts. He usually doesn't succeed, but obviously, I wouldn't want him to go and munch on anyone's badges."
"I won't let him munch on my badges," Hilbert promised.
"Who says you'll be earning badges at all?" Hilda snapped, smacking her brother upside the head. It didn't hurt him, and he was too thrilled about his Tommy to pretend it did, so it went ignored.
Cheren ignored them for everyone's sanity, signaling to Bianca to do the same. "So, what about that Pokedex thing you were telling us about?"
Professor Juniper jumped on the chance to change the subject. "That's right, the Pokedex. I have chosen the three of you to assist with my research. I want you to study Pokémon for me when I'm busy, and perhaps you will become strong Trainers in the process."
"But what about Bianca?" Hilbert asked. "I thought Cheren and Hilda and I were chosen."
"No, I was chosen, not you," Bianca told him, flicking a strand of blond hair out of her face. "You're just here for comic relief."
"We'll see," Hilbert said mysteriously, prompting Hilda to flick his hat.
Cheren, however, didn't seem too convinced. "Professor, I'm not sure sending a bunch of inexperienced teenagers out into the wilderness to survive on their instincts and whatever help small creatures can give them is the best idea."
"Professor Oak did it with children younger than you," Juniper replied calmly. "And your Pokémon are better than you think. Still, it would be better if you have more than one. Meet me at Route 1, and I'll demonstrate how to catch Pokémon for you."
And she left the four new trainers alone in her lab. Which, looking back later, probably wasn't the greatest idea she'd ever had.
"Wait, before you go!"
Hilda turned to see her mother, who carried three items. She handed one to her daughter, and one each to the other chosen ones. "Town Maps," she explained. "So you'll always know which route leads where."
"Thank you," Bianca cheered, putting the map away in her bag.
"Yes, thank you," Cheren repeated, his Tepig repeating the statement at his feet.
Hilda opened her mouth to say the same, but it was cut off before it could begin when Tommy, the mentally-disabled Oshawott, gobbled down the Town Map before she could use it. To say that Hilda was ticked off would have been the understatement of the year. She chased the little critter in circles around the lab, and when she finally caught him, he managed to get away by giving her a Water Gun to the face.
"Mom!" the girl whined, falling over into the dirt. "Do I have to travel with that thing?"
The Snivy gave her what seemed to be a hug, with a statement that Hilda took to be Snivy-speak for "I have a type advantage. I can kill him, if you want."
"You know, you're kind of cute," Hilda said with a smile. "You need a name, too. What should I call you?" Snivy shrugged. "Maybe...are you a boy or girl?" The grass snake pointed toward Hilda. "A girl?" The Snivy nodded, pleased that she'd understood. "Well, then. I guess I'll call you Erika."
Hilda's mom smiled as the girl and her Snivy shared a moment of friendship, but then seemed to remember something. "Oh! You better head off and meet Professor Juniper. She's waiting for you."
And so, the Town Map forgotten, they left to head onto Route 1 together. Taking the first step simultaneously, the three Chosen Ones headed out to start their new adventure, Erika, Tepig and Oshawott following behind their trainers into the land of the unknown.
Hilbert hugged Tommy happily, and smiled as he watched his sister and only friends head off into the horizon. Then, he seemed to realize something:
"Wait for me, guys!"