Oh my God. I haven't updated in forever, have I? I'm so sorry, I just got caught up in school and real life and stuff, and I couldn't find inspiration for the longest time. But here I am now.

Competitors:

Rachel Berry

Finn Hudson

Unique Adams

Blaine Anderson

Santana Lopez

Noah Puckerman

Quinn Fabray

Sam Evans

Brittany Pierce

Mike Chang

Tina Cohen-Chang

Rory Flanagan

Sugar Motta

Artie Abrams

Mercedes Jones

Joe Hart

Harmony Pearce

Sebastian Smythe

Sunshine Corazon

Matt Rutherford

Lauren Zizes

Jesse St. James

Kitalene Crimson

David Karofsky

Chapter 7: Oh, Brittany...

Matt and Brittany were doing quite well in their hideout on the roof. Matt had recalled Puck finding a secret passage in freshman year. He had mostly used it to spit on unsuspecting students and teachers below, except for that time when the guys had a paper-plane-throwing competition.

Brittany was slowly eating an apple, staring up at the sky.

"What's on your mind, Britt?" Next to Santana and Quinn, Matt was Brittany's best friend. They had kept in touch after Matt's transfer, and had been delighted to see each other again.

The blonde girl glanced at Matt, then back at the sky. "Matt, how do clouds stay up?"

Matt wasn't sure how to answer. He had fallen asleep when they had discussed the water cycle in elementary school, depriving him of that life-changing knowledge. However, he didn't want to admit to Brittany that he didn't know something.

"So, how about them unicorns?"

As Brittany chattered about her favourite mythical creatures, Matt discreetly let out a breath.

Dodged a bullet there.

"Got any fours?"

"Go fish."

Sunshine frowned. Harmony was killing her at this game.

She couldn't understand it. Back in the Phillipines, she'd always beaten her mother at her improvised card games.

Then again, she'd made a rule so that no one over twenty-one could ever win.

Harmony got yet another pair, screaming a triumphant falsetto note. She was sure that if Rachel Berry had heard it, her eyebrows would have bristled with jealousy. From there, it was only a few turns away to a victory.

Sunshine shook her head. "At least I'm a better singer than you," she muttered.

"Excuse me? What was that?"

Crap, she heard that.

"I said, at least I'm a better Asian than you," Sunshine lied. Well, not about the Asian part. Sunshine's a kickass Asian.

"No, you didn't!" Harmony put her hands on her hips. "There's only one way to settle this, diva. Sing-off, right now."

"What are we going to sing?"

"We are going to sing the best Nicki Minaj song ever- and by that, I mean the only Nicki Minaj song that doesn't suck- Starships!"

"Oh, bring it, sistah!"

Because this is Glee, music started playing out of nowhere, and spotlights shone down on the girls, who were now accompanied by a team of attractive male backup dancers.

(I can't copy and paste lyrics here because even if I disclaimed by mentioning I don't own the song, this story would still get deleted. So you're going to have to look up the lyrics yourself. Sorry about that.)

The song finished on both of the girls belting out an ear-blasting note, becoming increasingly louder as they attempted to outdo each other.

The dancers patiently waited, hands over their ears. It was seventeen and a half seconds (one of the guys had a watch) before they gave in and took a deep breath.

When it was all over, Sunshine drew herself up to her full height (but sadly was unable to hit 5 foot). "I was better."

Harmony rolled her eyes. "I kicked your ass."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

The back-and-forth bickering continued until one of the dancers had the good sense to strangle Harmony. A cannon went off, and Sunshine grinned.

"Hey, thanks guys!"

Her smile disappeared as the dancers began to advance on her. Further... and further... until Sunshine was literally backed into a corner.

You can all guess what happened after that.

After Sunshine's cannon fired, the backup dancers slowly began to grow wings, horns and tails, gradually losing their human appearances. They each turned a flaming red in colour, and carried pitchforks.

Sue Sylvester's army of shape-shifting demons slowly began their descent back into Hell, flicking their tongues and fluttering their wings.

"NOOOOOO!" The spine-chilling cry emanated from the teachers' lounge.

"NOOOOOO!"

"NOOOOOO!"

"Blaine, shut UP!"

"NOOOOOO!"

Blaine was weeping on the floor, while Sebastian stood over him, exasperated.

"Listen to me, Blaine. We can either have more water, which we are desperately low on, or we can have your ridiculous hair gel. Your choice."

"But... but... my hair... it's a-a disaster without the gel! I just- I need..."

"No, Blaine. What we need is water."

Blaine continued to sob, mourning the loss of his beloved hair product. Sebastian ignored Blaine, leaving the lounge to find water.

It took a long time for Blaine to recover, sitting up and wiping his eyes. He sniffled, barely noticing when someone else crept into the room.

Brittany had somehow wandered from the roof, all the way down to the teachers' lounge.

"Blaine Warbler? Are you okay?"

"No... Brittany. You wouldn't understand."

Brittany blinked, and her vacant blue eyes seemed to gain a new awareness. "I believe I would. The realization that only one of us can win has hit you, and you are currently in Stage Four of the Kubler-Ross model of the five stages of grief. Also, you are in a serious moral debate over whether it is truly worth sacrificing your integrity by murdering innocent people, no matter what you stand to gain from it. You are also terrified by your one-in-six odds of winning, and your roots of low self-esteem are taking their toll, causing you to prematurely accept your mortality."

Blaine was completely taken aback. "Actually... I just missed my hair gel."

As soon as the sudden intelligence had appeared, it was gone. Brittany's expression returned to her default look of confusion. "Hair gel tastes good. I tasted it once, but Quinn made me stop."

The two discussed hair gel for a long time, the conversation eventually flowing to other topics. As the teenagers got sleepier, Brittany planted a tiny kiss on Blaine's nose.

"You're a really good friend, Blainey."

They fell asleep in each other's arms.

When Blaine woke up, the first thing he saw was red and gold. It was everywhere. It reminded him vaguely of the Gryffindor colours, but part of him was screaming to him, telling him it was all so wrong, wrong.

He opened his eyes further, seeing and feeling and tasting the endless red and gold. As the fog cleared from Blaine's mind, he finally saw it.

The gold was Brittany's hair. And the red was her blood.

The boy screamed. The blood was everywhere, spilling from the spear deeply impaled in Brittany's head. Those clear blue eyes had lost their spark of life, and that adorable smile was still there. It was just so wrong.

Blaine stood on shaky legs, feeling an odd pain in his arm. Sitting at a table was Sebastian, nonchalantly reading a book. The recently-woken boy put the pieces together. Then, he launched himself at Sebastian, fury twisting his face.

Perfect place to leave it, I know. Until next time, aloha!