The Hummel Games

Note: All characters in this story are bisexual. If they weren't, this story would be much shorter. I don't own Glee or The Hunger Games, awesome as that would be. Also, I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this.

Summary:

Everyone wants Kurt Hummel, but only one person can have him. After (not) much consideration, the club arrives at a solution: a match to the death! If you hate Kurt, this isn't for you. Also, don't take it too seriously.

Competitors:

Rachel Berry

Finn Hudson

Unique Adams

Blaine Anderson

Santana Lopez

Noah Puckerman

Quinn Fabray

Sam Evans

Brittany Pierce

Mike Chang

Tina Cohen-Chang

Rory Flanagan

Sugar Motta

Artie Abrams

Mercedes Jones

Joe Hart

Harmony Pearce

Sebastian Smythe

Sunshine Corazon

Matt Rutherford

Lauren Zizes

Jesse St. James

Kitalene Crimson

David Karofsky

Chapter 1- The Argument

"Kurt's mine!"

"No, he's mine!"

It was happening again.

Rachel Berry and Sam Evans were in an argument, glaring and screaming at each other, throwing in the occasional curse word. Honestly, the stuation was getting insane. Everyone in the club was fighting with everyone else, all over one person.

Kurt Hummel.

Honestly, everyone was smitten with him. They worshipped his luxurious hair, his colouful eyes, his delicate skin, his dreamy voice, and those erotic hips that could turn on inanimate objects.

The whole world loved Kurt, and most of them would do pretty much anything to catch his attention for just a second. Luckily for the New Directions, Kurt was in their presence pretty much every day. Seeing the wingless angel all the time only inflamed their lust, causing them to fight all the time. All the regular relationship drama was forsaken in favour of Kurt.

Rachel and Sam continued to bicker, ignoring Quinn and Santana in a full-on catfight behind them, and Puck beating up Mike.

Kurt entered the choir room, saw the fighting, and left again. What was it with them? Kurt knew he was hot, but surely this kind of reaction was not normal, even for horny teenagers like themselves. Right?

The next day, before any fighting could commence, Will Schuester stood up and cleared his throat.

"I am sick of all of you fighting over Kurt! He's a person, not some kind of object or prize. This ends now! One of you have to date Kurt so the rest will stop fighting."

Santana raised her hand.

"Santana?"

"You're crazy, Schue. Even if someone else dated Kurt, we'd keep fighting over him. In fact, we'd probably kill his new date."

"Right."

"True that."

"Totally."

"I know," the teacher replied. "That's why I thought up a plan!" He stepped away from the board to reveal the words written on it.

"..Fight To The Death?"

"Yes! You will be placed in an arena where you will fight and kill each other. The last one standing will be the victor."

Quinn frowned. "That seems awfully familiar..."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, I shall call this glorious event The Hummel Games!"

"Definitely familiar..."

And so the Hummel Games began. Will Schuester acted as the official Game Organiser, which he insisted was nothing like a Gamemaker.

First, he took down names of people who were interested. After searching all of Ohio, he could only find 23 people. Disastrous, as he wanted 24. Just like... nothing!

Just as he was about to add Sue Sylvester to the list, there was a powerful red flash of light. Will looked around for the source, only to find a young woman standing near him.

She had curly hair, was an average height and was of indeterminate age. "Excuse me," she said, "I would like to join the Hummel Games."

"Awesome!" Will cried out. "Name?"

"Kitalene Crimson."

"Age?"

"Indeterminate."

"Weapon of choice?"

"Sarcasm."

"Really?"

"No, I prefer to slay my enemies with crepe paper and birthday cake."

"Okay, you're in! Let the Hummel Games begin, and may the chances be favourable to you! Or something."