Yet another character is met in this chapter. How will the Survivalist deal with more of the denizens of the Land of Ooo? Will he come to terms with the new world he's found himself in, or lose his mind? And when will he meet Finn and Jake? Will I stop rambling on and get to the bloody action? Read on to find out. I own nothing of this but my OC…who is really me. Reviews please.

I awoke to the sun rising the next morning. I sat up and looked around. I was still inside my small tent made of branches and pine boughs. I yawned, and tried to remember if I had dreamed everything. It all came back to me. The nuclear war, talking worms, that weird Count Lemon guy. Was it all a dream, some insane creation of my mind? 'Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream?'

I crawled out of the small shelter and stood, stretching my sore arms and legs. A few birds flew by, and the forest rattled quietly with a slight breeze blowing through the trees. The idyllic scenery masked the bizarre memories I had of the day before. I inhaled deeply the fresh air of the pristine nature around me. Aside from random pieces of civilization lying about in random places, this new world seemed cleaner than the one I knew. 'Life after humans…' I thought to myself. 'The Earth will heal itself.'

My stomach rumbled, and I patted my pockets. Damn, should have brought food. I broke a major survival rule. I hadn't planned on being out this long. I unscrewed the lid of my canteen and took a long drink. Satisfying at least my thirst, I looked around, peering into the depths of the woods.

"Well," I said to myself, "where do I go from here?" I could go back to my bomb shelter, but that wouldn't solve a thing. I had to find some sort of civilized town, or at least a normal person. If such a thing existed, that is. I checked my shotgun for functionality, and drew my pistol, checking the chamber, and resetting the safety before reholstering the weapon. At this point, I hadn't seen much to make me believe there were real threats out there, but I had mentally trained myself to always be ready. 'Sic Vic Pacem, Para Bellum'

I began my trek through the forest, keeping on the same bearing I had taken after meeting the Lemon guy. When I would come to small clearings or thin areas of trees, I could see tall, snow-capped mountains in the distance. It reminded me of the approach to the Rockies during a cross-country trip I had taken once. But these couldn't be the Rockies, could they? They were rather to the north of me, according to the sun's position in the eastern sky. That would place me…in Utah? Southwest Colorado? It didn't make any sense to me at all, given that I was in a deciduous forest, with grasslands a short distance away. I had to start finally considering that I was not only in a different time, but in a different place as well. I had to find some answers.

I altered my course, and headed north by northeast, toward the mountains. My path soon took me once again to the edge of a savannah-like area, reminiscent of the Great Plains. Now the mountains could be seen more clearly. They jutted up from the plains without foothills to precede them. As the flat land ended in the distance, some 10 miles by my reckoning, the mountains began abruptly, towering over the plain below. I could also see that where the range began, a sort of glacier had taken hold of the land. Once again, this land was odd to me. This close to a glacier, the weather should be colder, but instead, the temperature was in the 60's. The more I saw of this place, the more questions I had. My mind began to wander into the realm of metaphysics, when I heard a voice from the woods behind me.

"Why hello there." A gentle female voice said. I jumped at the sound, and looked around for the source of the grandmotherly-sounding voice. "Didn't mean to startle ya', cutie." The voice was definitely that of an older woman, with a deep southern accent. Still, I didn't see anyone. "Down here, silly." The voice said. I looked down. There, at the base of a large tree at the edge of the clearing, was a small greenish/yellow-colored elephant. What could I do?

"Um…hello." I replied. I was talking to a two foot tall yellow elephant.

"I never seen you around here before. You new in the area?" The two foot tall yellow elephant was talking back to me. I was now sure that I was fully insane. I'd might as well play along.

"I guess you can say I am." I said. "In fact, I've been walking around this place since yesterday, without food or an idea of where I am, looking for a sign of civilization." Why was I telling my story to a talking elephant? Maybe because she (I took it as a 'she') sounded normal enough, despite being an elephant and all.

"Well why didn't you say so?" The tiny elephant smiled. "Land sakes, you must be starving, walking around Ooo with nothing to eat. Won't you come on over to my house and I'll bake you an apple pie." The more I thought about it, the less weirded out I was, actually. I was starving, and I had wanted to meet locals and learn more about this strange land I had wound up in. Oh well, what did I have to lose?

"Apple pie sounds really good right about now ma'am." I replied, trying to feign a friendly smile, as if elephants baked me desserts all the time.

"Well right this way, then." The elephant said happily. "And by the way, my name is Tree Trunks." Of course it was. It couldn't have been Sarah or Mabel, or even Gretta. It had to be Tree Trunks. Made about as much sense as anything else thus far. And so I found myself following a pachyderm Paula Dean to her house for pie.