Desperation

AN: This one had to come because it's a birthday present for the ever wonderful DefyGravity2502. Her birthday was back in the beginning of June so this is way late but I have already apologized so with one more I'm-so-so-so-sorry and a sheepish you-know-I-usually-write-this-crap-so-I-hope-I-didn't-disappoint-too-much I shall let the fic be.

Because everybody knows life wasn't as easy as Mr Cool Guy Mako wants you to believe. (And because I'm still a total sucker for whump.)

Warning: Blood, gore, violence and a very bad speculation plot. Go figure. Also, there may not be such an animal as a Snake-Chicken.

Disclaimer: None of it is mine at all.

"We were orphans out on the street; I did what I had to do to survive and protect my little brother."

The metal plates that made up the walls of the small structure were haphazardly stuck together and their joints left holes through which the cold almost-winter wind whistled tauntingly. Even though there was a roaring fire right in front of him the wind still caused his flesh to ripple in cold discomfort. He hated the oncoming winter with all the passion inside him; it was hard enough to survive in summer's heat and joviality as it was. Winter meant shorter days, less food, harsher weather, more hostility… more danger in every aspect of life. Even now when winter was not quite upon them yet he was feeling the cold and the shortness of food; there hadn't been anything to eat for three days. He had been searching the streets since dawn that morning, having every hope dashed by slamming doors and shooing women.

And the last of his hope had just entered the door empty-handed.

"Please tell me you got some food and you ate it on the way here," he begged hoarsely.

His brother fell by the fire and curled into a ball, shaking his head with his lip trembling. His heart constricted in frustration and worry and he had to remind himself that it would help nothing to lose his temper. Instead of raving, he went completely still, internalizing it all and trying to think of a plan. Silence stretched on before his brother could stand it no more.

"Mako, I'm hungry," he whispered pitifully.

Mako shut his eyes. "I know, Bo. I know. But I couldn't find any food today. Or any money. Everybody's hoarding up for the winter so they're not wasting half as much food. And all the jobs going need me to be at least thirteen."

"Well…at least then we only have to wait a year…"

We'll be dead by then, he wanted to snap. But he didn't. Bolin didn't deserve to get the brunt of his anger. He couldn't afford to lose control. He needed to stay calm and stoic. He needed to think.

"What did the other kids say?" he asked Bolin, curling in tighter as the wind whistled through the cracks.

"They're having no luck, either." There was a beat of silence. "Tikka thinks her little brother is dying. He won't get up."

Fear tore at every fibre of Mako's being and for the first time in months he wanted to break down in tears. The reminder that it could be him in Tikka's place and Bolin could be the one… No. No, no, no. He'd die before that happened.

"Even the triads aren't hiring," he voiced, frustration causing him to grip his unkempt and mattered hair tightly. "Not even to run numbers. Nothing."

"I offered to help a rich lady with her gardening," Bolin offered, trying to keep his natural optimism alight. "But she said no. I think maybe she didn't realize how strong an Earthbender I am."

Again Mako had to bite his tongue to stop the words pouring forth. It wasn't that Bolin wasn't strong enough; his brother was a more than average bender. It was the simple fact that he was a bender that would have turned the lady off. There were loud whisperings of contempt for benders everywhere and even rumours that a movement against benders would begin soon. Mako doubted it would ever get that far but anti-bender feelings had grown pretty strong recently and they affected all walks of life. It was one of the reasons he was still unable to provide for his brother despite the fact that he could Firebend better than most his age.

The worst of it all was that Mako could not blame them for their fear and mistrust. It had taken him almost a year to bend again after he'd watched his parents die, after all. And even when necessity had made him bend he'd hated himself for it. Bending fire was what had killed his parents and driven Bolin to the streets and yet there he was controlling the flames himself. It still made him sick, sometimes. But without his Firebending they would have died years ago; it was just something else he had to do to survive. Just one more injury he had to endure, because if he could endure…

As the sun set, the solution dawned on him.

"There is still one way I can work for the triads," he realized out loud, head lifting and heart pounding as the plan formulated and sang through his veins.

Bolin looked a little doubtful for a second but then the doubt melted behind a grin. Mako had taken care of him for years; he had no reason not to trust his brother. Mako gave a little smile back and offered no other insight into his plan; Bolin didn't have to know. The less he knew, the more he'd remain protected. Mako rose to his feet and pulled his shabby, too-small coat tighter around him. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he took off his scarf and wrapped it around Bolin's neck. He didn't want that particular item of clothing getting wrecked, after all. Bolin's grin faded as confusion took hold.

"What're…?" Mako headed toward the door. "Now? But Mako, what could you possibly…?"

The Firebender had forgotten that his younger brother wasn't six anymore. Bolin had enough intelligence now to figure out things he'd naively been unaware of before. Sometimes, Mako blessed this with all his heart as it kept his trouble-prone brother safe. Other times Mako cursed it as it made his job of protecting Bolin just that much harder. This time was one of the latter; Bolin understood his plan before he could get away.

"No!" The horror was so real that it caused the older boy's steps to waver. "No, Mako! You promised! You promised!"

"Stay inside and don't open the door to anybody," Mako told him quietly, still heading for the door.

There were suddenly cold yet insistent fingers snatching at his arm. "Mako! You can't! You can't do this!" The tremble in his voice almost swayed him. "You promised me you wouldn't do it again! Mako!"

"Promises sometimes need to be broken, Bolin," he returned in a hard voice.

"I won't let you! I… I'll fight you!" The grip became tighter.

"Bolin, let me go!"

"No! You can't! I won't let you! Mako, there's got to be-!"

"Well there isn't, Bolin! There's no other way! If I don't do this we'll starve!" He began tugging harder.

"We won't! I'm not that hungry! Mako, please! Please!"

With one vicious shake the Firebender was free. Without looking back at his brother – if he looked his resolve would probably crumble – Mako ran out the door and slammed it behind him, leaning against it as his brother flew at the old metal, pounding against it and roaring at his older brother.

"Mako! Mako, don't! Mako, Mako!"

Mako slipped the deadbolt on the door, effectively locking his brother in. The lock was something the two of them had worked on together for many days. Only they knew the exact angle and wiggle it needed to come loose and thus their little home was safe from robbery or invasion while they were out all day. It also meant that Bolin could not get out.

"If you do this, I'll never forgive you!"

Mako swallowed hard, reached for the lock, hesitated and then let his hand drop. Desperation would make a man do anything. He turned and began walking toward the edge of the city, shoving his hands in the too-small pockets to try and keep them warm.

"I hate you! I hate you, Mako! I hate you!"

Mako shut his eyes and walked faster.

The smoke in the air was so thick it made Mako's eyes water. All around him was shouting and laughter and raucous flirtation that was all made worse by the dim lighting and the way every woman seemed to be wearing as little as possible. He passed a trio of thin, scrawny children who were hurrying from table to table in desperate hope of scraps. He knew from painful experience they would get nothing. His destination was the elevated box on the other side of the underground bar/arena. Said box was even more dimly lit and guarded by thugs that glared at him and almost made him falter.

"Zolt?" His first try was too quiet to be heard over the ruckus so he tried again. "Zolt?"

Every eye in the room turned to him and he tried not to squirm. Lightning Bolt Zolt looked him over for a long while before he began to laugh. Hesitantly, his cronies joined in, some of them still looking ready to slit Mako's throat at a second's notice.

"I knew you'd be back. Little street rat like you could never stay away." Mako's face burned and his eyes lowered without his consent. "And what a great night you picked to come crawling and sniveling back! You know why, little rat? Tonight I think I may have overestimated the man I put money on. And I put a lot of money on him. So howsabout you take his place and make sure I don't lose my bet, huh?"

"What do you need me to do?" Mako asked, lifting his gaze once more.

"Fourteen minutes." Mako's stomach lurched then disappeared. Terror threatened to crash over him but he forced it back. "You do those fourteen minutes, street rat, and I win me some serious cash. Enough to give you enough money for fourteen days' worth of food. Howsabout that? One minute in there for one entire day of food."

It wasn't even a choice. Not really. "I'm in."

Zolt roared with laughter again. "Of course you are, little shit. Of course you are."

It was a mere five minutes after that that Mako found himself in the arena that made up the center of the entire underground building. The sand crunched beneath his worn shoes and the sound made him feel slightly sick. He never thought he'd be there again. After the last time he'd been more than happy to promise Bolin he'd never come back. And yet… Two weeks of food. They'd be able to stretch that to almost a month, if they were careful. An entire month. It was more than worth it. It had to be.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Tonight's Snake-Chicken match is about to begin!"

A roar went up from the crowd and there was the sound of people jostling against the chains to get closer so they could have front-row seats for the entertainment. Mako refused to look anywhere but the floor in front of him. He couldn't afford to get scared now. He couldn't back out. This was worth it. It was worth it.

I hate you, Mako!

It was worth it.

"Toooooonight we have the great and powerful Tee-Lin the Terrible up against an old favourite, Maaaakoooo!"

A murmur went up through the crowd at that; they'd been expecting somebody else to be facing off against Tee-Lin. But the murmur did not last for long. The sport of Snake-Chicken happened for a number of reasons: a potential triad member being initiated before he or she was allowed in, a warrior looking for a thrill, somebody desperate for cash, two people with revenge to settle… And, in the end, the crowd didn't give a damn what the reason was as long as they still got their fun. Cheers sounded from all around and they came from the mouths of benders and non-benders alike. In a sick twist of irony, this dark, violent place was the spot in the city that benders and non-benders were most unified.

Even though it was always the non-bender on the offensive in Snake-Chicken. Or was that the reason the unity prevailed here?

"Get ready for the game!" More screams and Tee-Lin approached, sneering down at Mako from his towering height. "Three! Two! One! Start the clock!"

The giant's fist collided with Mako's face at once. The blow was precise but nowhere near as strong as it could be; Mako's opponent had underestimated him. This gave the younger Firebender hope, for if he could just keep Tee-Lin's attacks mild he might be able to survive. Mako turned his head back to his opponent and the man grunted in grudging surprise that there were no tears in the boy's eyes. His kick to Mako's stomach left the Firebender winded but still able to stand. As soon as he collapsed he'd be named 'Chicken' and the game would end. If he became 'Chicken' before fourteen minutes then Zolt would lose his bet and Mako would get nothing.

Tee-Lin aimed another kick at Mako's middle and this time the Firebender swore he felt something crack a little. He shut his eyes and tried not to scream. Every fibre in his body longed to run or at least fight back. But the second he made a move to defend himself or the second he moved even half an inch out of his opponent's attack he'd be labeled 'Snake' and he'd be disqualified. All he could do was stand firm and endure the beating until fourteen minutes were up and he could give in.

Another blow to the head sent him crashing to the ground and he scrambled to his feet instantly, spitting out sand. He tasted blood on his tongue but lifted his eyes to his attacker in mute surrender.

Fourteen minutes. He needed to last for fourteen minutes. He had to.

You promised! You promised!

Another blow snapped his neck to the side.

I hate you, Mako! I hate you!

His knees got kicked out from underneath him and he once again had to rise to his feet before he got counted out.

Mako, don't! Mako, Mako!

This time the punch to his middle left him without air for a worrying amount of time. The world started to spin sickeningly as he gasped for air that would not come and the crowd roared and laughed and cheered.

He had to survive. He just had to hold on.

Survive. Survive. Survive. Survive. Survive. Sur…

The first thing he was consciously aware of was the smell. It reeked. Opening his eyes, Mako found himself face-to-face with what appeared to be a three-week-old loaf of bread. Beside it was a lump of fruit peels. They'd thrown him out on a rubbish dump.

The Firebender tried to sit up but the action caused every inch of his body to scream in protest. The pain was so great that he screamed too, trying to curl into himself to make it stop and only succeeding in making it worse and inhaling a whole lot of garbage. Drawing breath was almost impossibly difficult; every small inhalation sent spasms of pain through his torso that made him want to claw his own chest out. Finally he managed to settle for a way of breathing that allowed him to find a balance between passing out from lack of oxygen and passing out from pain.

As soon as this was accomplished his mind began to search for memories of what had happened. The last thing he remembered was being on the ground while Tee-Lin kicked the crap out of him. Oh, Spirits… Had that been before or after the fourteen minute mark? Had he failed? Painfully and slowly Mako reached into his jacket with the arm that throbbed the least and felt around the inside pockets gingerly. His fingers touched a thick wad of money. The relief was so strong it made tears spring to his eyes: it was okay. He'd done it. They would eat. Bolin would survive.

With the most pressing matters dealt with, his mind started to register other things. Like how bad the smell actually was. And how cold it actually was outside. And how his shirt was sticking to his left shoulder in a way that meant he was most likely bleeding. Nausea rolled in his stomach and he had to fight to keep it down; his ribs would not be able to handle the strain of throwing up. Not that he had anything in his stomach, anyway.

Mako shut his eyes and tried to use his Firebending to warm himself up. His attempts were feeble at best; he had no energy left in him at all. That led him to wonder how long he'd been lying out there. The possibilities weren't promising at all. He had to get home to Bolin.

"If you do this, I'll never forgive you!"

He had to get home so that Bolin could take the money and get something to eat. Then at least his brother would be alive enough to hate him. How he was going to get all the way across town, however, was beyond him. Mako tried lifting just his head and barely managed this before it smashed back against the garbage. His temples throbbed and his vision blurred and he was forced to wonder if he had a bit of a concussion. It would be quite likely.

"Agni damn," he whispered out loud. Talking made at least three parts of him writhe in pain. Frustration and anger boiled up. "Agni damnit!" he yelled as loud as he could, choking back a cry of pain that the action produced.

Forced to admit defeat the Firebender closed his eyes, intending to get some sleep and try again when dawn came. A sound of squeaking wheels caused the orbs of gold to flash open again at once. They rested on the form of an old, withered man pulling a cart that held his measly wares. Man and boy stared at each other for a long time.

"Heard ya cursin'." Mako remained silent. "Ya got cash? I can take yer to a hospit'l fir cash."

Mako eyed him. "How much?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

"Twenty Yuans."

"Five."

The man snorted. "Cheeky shit. Ya'll die out here if ya don' git."

"Ten," Mako said through grit teeth.

The man considered. "Done."

Wincing painfully, Mako slowly reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out one of the notes, careful to make sure the man didn't see that he had more money in there. The old man didn't seem like a bad person but he was nearing desperation too and Mako was a very easy target. The man carefully stashed the note away and then leaned over and grabbed both of Mako's arms. The Firebender choked back a scream of pain; something in his left arm appeared to be sprained or cracked or something. Not noticing this, the man hauled Mako upright.

This time the boy really did scream, forgetting that his air was precious and hard to come by. Everything exploded in white-hot agony and he couldn't tell what hurt the most only that everything was tearing and burning and it wasn't stopping wasn't stopping…

There was suddenly a shuddering beneath him and he realized he must have blacked out for a few minutes. Wearily he found the old man and wondered how he'd been able to carry him onto his cart. The man felt his gaze and looked down, something twisting his face.

"Yer a lot more beat up than I thoughts," he muttered to Mako almost accusingly. "I thoughts yer was just tired… Now yer bleedin' all over me cart…"

Mako wheezed another breath in and turned his eyes to the left. "Turn left."

"The hospit'l is straight ahea'."

"Not going. No money. Home. Turn left."

"Yer crazy, kid! Yer-"

"Turn. Paid you."

Muttering curses the old man obeyed, glancing around as though there were healers glaring at him disapprovingly from every corner. Mako gave him five other short directions and then told him to stop as he recognized the alley and the warped metal of the fence that doubled up, secretly, as the wall of their hideout.

"Should I get yir folks? Where'my knockin'?"

"Nowhere. Just… Get me…"

He inhaled wrong and struggled for breath. With doubt oozing from every muscle the old man reached down and slowly helped Mako off the cart. His wrinkled hands stayed under the boy's armpits as Mako swayed, trying to fight through the pain and exhaustion and stay upright.

"Thanks," the Firebender muttered thickly.

The man let go and shook his head. "Yir gonna die. Crazy kid."

Mako swayed again and grabbed onto the fence to keep upright, watching the man round the corner before he began dragging himself toward his home. The going was slow and almost pure agony. By the time his numb fingers were fumbling with the lock he could barely breathe and there were black spots dancing in front of his vision. Finally the door swung forward and he stumbled in. The heat of the fire washed over him and the relief took the last of his breath away.

Again he was bested by darkness.

Mako was almost warm. And he was strangely comfortable. And there was a smell in the air that was not unwashed boy or garbage. In fact, it smelt suspiciously like…

With difficulty, he cracked his eyes open and was greeted by the sight of his little brother hungrily devouring a bowl of soup while a fire roared merrily beside him. Mako gave a tired, relieved smile and considered going back to sleep. His stomach, however, had other plans and let out a painful growl. Bolin turned at once and green eyes met gold ones. There was a long, awkward silence that was broken only by the snapping of twigs. Mako wanted to sit up but just the thought made his body protest.

Finally, after ages, he could take it no longer. "Bol'n…"

"Do you know what you look like right now?" Bolin's voice was quiet.

"Bo…"

"You wouldn't warm up, Mako! I had to lie on you all night and you wouldn't… And your body… You're… There isn't a place that isn't bruised…"

"Bo-"

"You could have died! They could have killed you! That 'sport' is just sick and you promised and you went and… and… and…"

"Sorry, Bo. 'M sorry…"

Bolin's anger melted away and he burst into tears. Mako wished he'd yell instead; the crying made his heart ache. Now the Firebender did try and rise but he couldn't even get his head up. Bolin instead crawled toward him and pressed his forehead to Mako's, still crying.

"I was so scared."

Mako shut his eyes. "I know. But… It got us food, Bo."

Bolin shook his head angrily, letting go of his brother as though Mako was something filthy. "I'd rather starve than lose you. Do you understand? You have to swear to not do this again. Swear!"

They stared at each other again. "I won't. Bo, if it means feeding you…"

Bolin's face tightened and his hands curled into fists. "You can't."

"I'm the eldest. I can. I will, if I have to." Bolin looked away. "Even if it means you hate me."

Bolin's lip trembled. "I don't hate you. That was a really lousy thing to say… I could never hate you. Mako, you… you…" He wept. "You're everything I have left. You're my whole family. No matter what you do I could never hate you."

Mako reached up and pulled his brother down beside him. "Shhh. Bo, it's okay. I'm here. I didn't really believe you." It was a lie; for a while he'd been sure Bolin would never love him again.

"Good!" The Earthbender hiccoughed. "Even when I say things like that I don't mean them… But, Mako…" He struggled against the emotions but lost. "You can't leave me! You can't leave me! Next time I'll play-!"

"Over my dead body," Mako growled at once, eyes narrowing. "As long as I'm breathing you will not go near that place."

Bolin glared right back at him. "You can't do that."

"Watch me, little brother. Watch me."

For a moment Mako thought Bolin would walk away. Instead the younger boy began to cry anew and he buried himself in Mako's arms, clutching his brother as he sobbed. Mako stiffened.

"Bo," he wheezed out.

"Sorry!" Bolin let go at once. "Sorry… I…"

Mako rubbed his brother's shoulder. "S'okay."

Bolin shook his head. "No, it's not."

Mako sighed painfully. "It will be, though. Bodies heal. We have food."

Bolin moved away but returned shortly with the soup. He placed the half-empty bowl beside Mako and then sat, glaring at his brother. "That's your half. And you will eat it."

Mako had to smile at the fierceness in Bolin's eyes. "Yes, sir."

"Mako."

The Firebender rolled his eyes. "You're turning into a right dictator, you know."

"I have to be. Without it you would never eat and you'd do stupid things every night. You work so hard at keeping me alive that you forget about yourself. Survival goes both ways, big brother."

"When did you get so wise?" He was trying to joke but he was genuinely awed.

Bolin gave him a slightly sad smile and then pushed the soup away so he could lie beside his brother. "When you're desperate enough…"

He didn't have to finish the sentence. Mako understood.