Call me Artemis Fowl

It had been a week and three days since the "incident" as Artemis had dubbed it. Though even he had to admit that was vague considering the life he led. More to the point was that girls were still making googly eyes at him along with some boys though Artemis tried not to think about that. It was getting tiring, if he knew popularity was so tedious he would have stopped the three idiots before they had a chance to reveal the home video to everyone.

Sighing, the boy genius sat down in his seat. To make matters worse he was in music class now. It wasn't that he disliked music in any way, in fact he loved it. Composing songs and musicals was one of his favourite hobbies. No, what was so terrible about the music class was the teacher; Mr Conroy. Artemis had had him for years now and the man still hadn't forgiven him for rigging his keyboard to play "Twinkle, twinkle little star" no matter what note he played. The young Fowl thought this unjustified as it had never actually proven to be him. He had done it but that was besides the point.

"Okay, class" Mr Conroy drawled from the front of the classroom, like clockwork everyone stopped their various discussions and Artemis barely resisted rolling his eyes "I'm going to give you and exciting project today"

Several chairs squeaked as students leaned forward in their seats

"I want you all to compose pieces of original music"

Easy Artemis thought I'll just use one of my old pieces

"I want it to be your own personal theme tune" Mr Conroy continued, looking ecstatic "And" he continued "I want you to pick the genre the song will be in out of this hat" he pulled a top hat out from under his desk and ignored the various groans from around the classroom.

When the hat got to Artemis he reached in blindly and only opened the folded slip of paper when Mr Conroy had finished their row.

It read, very simply in his teacher's large scrawl PUNK ROCK

He just stared at it for half a moment before slipping it into his breast pocket D'arvit he swore silently. This is going to be more difficult than I thought

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNa

When Artemis arrived at Fowl Manor he set to work almost immediately. First of course he greeted his family and Juliet and ate lunch. After that he retired to his room.

He spent a lot of time just staring at the instrument. His Mother had bought it for him on his last birthday as she knew how talented he was with music. He'd never played guitar before, he was sure it would be easy but looking down at his perfectly manicured nails he knew they would be ruined.

"Well I refuse to admit defeat" he spoke determinedly to himself and picked up the guitar, slinging the strap over his shoulders and silently mourning his hands that would soon be in ruins.

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNa

It was the day of the big reveal, finally Artemis' turn to show off his "theme song" He walked on to the stage in what he felt was appropriate attire. Actually it was what Juliet thought was appropriate attire. He was in skin-tight leather jeans and a simple loose white t-shirt and he was wearing fingerless gloves and vans shoes.

He noted that once again the entire school had turned out to watch him in what would probably be a humiliating event.

The rest of the band that he had hired set up as well behind him as he plugged in his electric guitar.

When they were ready Mr Conroy nodded from the first row "Okay, Fowl, show us what you got"

They needed no further prompting.

Artemis started in on the guitar shortly followed by the drums and he threw all caution to the wind and actually whooped. The intro had everyone captivated.

And then he started singing

"Yea-ea-eah

Call me Artemis Fowl

I never started this

But now it's getting heavy

Yea-ea-eah

It's time to devastate

Your dirty little plan

Whatever kind of trick it is

Yea-ea-eah

The name is Artemis Fowl

I'm at the start of being

Something Legendary

Yea-ea-eah

I will dominate

Your dirty little plan

(dirty little plan)

Warning!

Things I only dreamed

May be

Closer than they seem

I just

saw what I couldn't believe

I best get on the run

Something wicked this way comes

I think it's time we got the pleasantries

o-ver with

my nemesis

I'll enjoy this

Take my money all away

Still I'll figure out just what to do

I don't care what you may say

So D'arvit to you

Yea-ea-eah

Call me Artemis Fowl

I never started this

But now it's getting heavy

Yea-ea-eah

Time to devastate

Your dirty little plan

Whatever kind of trick it is

Yea-ea-eah

The name is Artemis Fowl

I'm at the start of being

Something Legendary

Yea-ea-eah

I will dominate

Your dirty little plan

(dirty little plan)"

The audience rocked out with the band at this point. Artemis was glad it was all going over well, he was a bit worried about putting a fairy word in but just as he had predicted when small use of a foreign word was thrown in most people would ignore or automatically come up with an alternative.

"Yea-ea-eah

Call me Artemis Fowl

I never started this

But now it's getting heavy

Yea-ea-eah

Time to devastate

Your dirty little plan

Whatever kind of trick it is

Yea-ea-eah

The name is Artemis Fowl

I never started this

But now I'm finishing it

Yea-ea-eah

I will dominate

Your dirty little plan

(dirty little plan)

Yea-ea-eah

Call me Artemis Fowl

I never started this

But now it's getting heavy

Yea-ea-eah

Time to devastate

Your dirty little plan

Whatever kind of trick it is

Yea-ea-eah

The name is Artemis Fowl

I never started this

But now I'm finishing it

Yea-ea-eah

I will dominate

Your dirty little plan

(dirty little plan)

Call me Artemis Fowl

The name is Artemis Fowl

Call me Artemis Fowl

The name is Artemis Fowl

Yea-ea-eah!"

The song ended and Artemis smirked triumphantly even though he was sweaty and out of breath and his nails was derelict. Everyone was still cheering five minutes later when Mr Conroy announced that Artemis had once again gotten an A.

Upon hearing this, Artemis thanked the audience them promptly turned on heel and walked briskly off the stage. Now that the adrenalin had worn off he longed for some proper clothes, and he missed his loafers.

I think I'll stick to organized crime he thought much less sweaty