A/N: so, this came to me at work. The immediate aftermath of Shepard's death from Liara's POV – she remembers their time together after the Battle of the Citadel. I think it's going to be a one-shot, although there may be some semblance of another chapter in my head somewhere.

Update: I've now published a companion piece to this one, from Shepard's POV. It's called 15 Seconds, and can be found on my profile page. Hope you enjoy :)

The door closes behind me, its hiss muffled, like I am underwater.

Empty. I cannot move; the blood in my veins thick as the peanut butter you so enjoyed. Long shadows loom all around, threatening to devour me if I wander too close. How can so much have changed in mere weeks? It feels like a lifetime past since you brought me here, since those shadows danced across your vivacious smile. They did not portend such torment when you pulled me into them, your lips brushing tantalizingly against my cheek. The skin of my back echoes with the ghostly caress of your touch.

My fingers sweep lightly over the wall, tracing the outline of your body. If I concentrate hard enough, I can almost feel you here, the warmth of your embrace, the breeze of your whispered words in my ear. We shared everything on this spot, too hungry to stumble the few metres to your bedroom. You opened your heart to me then, laid yourself bare, gave me everything you were, made me whole. You never said it, but for me, it was enough knowing it, feeling it as your entire being melded with mine.

I love you.

I know, Shepard, I know. I lean into the wall as my broken heart skips a beat. Did you know? Did I… did I show you, like you showed me? My desperation grows, a knife wrenching through my chest as I frantically dig through my fragmented mind. No… I was so wrapped up in you, in the peace you so desperately sought but so rarely enjoyed.

But you are not here. I am braced against the wall, my heart thundering in my chest. I struggle to breathe, my breath coming in harsh, ragged gasps. I screw my eyes shut, bite down so hard my jaw aches; you would want me to be strong. Despite my efforts my trembling body sinks to the floor. A lone pearl meanders down my cheek, before the floodgates open. My entire body is racked by sobs, my cries echoing mercilessly through the emptiness.

You were there when last this happened. I was distraught, and despite your might, I know you had never felt so helpless. You clutched in your hands a bouquet of lilies, the pure milkiness of their delicate petals a soothing sight. You stood, rooted, thousands of prepared words unspoken as I clung to you, my tears soaking your shirt, the mucus from my nose staining it. Mother would probably not have been quite so tolerant of me ruining her clothes.

But you are gone, and I have not a shred to remember you by. All I have is your soft snort, your impudent grin, your tender words. Despair threatens to overwhelm me when I turn my mind to your eyes. Your trusting, gentle, emerald eyes. I bring my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs as I lament never seeing them again. They never recovered your body; after all you did for them, they never tried.

But… maybe there is hope. You would not rest if I lay lost. You would not cower and weep, would not allow them to leave me behind.

I will look upon your eyes again, hold you, tell you, show you that I love you.

I will find you, Shepard.

I will find you.