I don't own Rookie Blue (but I wish I did). Thanks for taking the time to have a read of my story, it's much appreciated and I would love a review :) This story is slightly AU. Everything is the same but Andy stayed with Luke when she found out he cheated and so Sam went undercover. Hope you enjoy!
Wanting Us
"Hello? Hello? I'm sorry, I'm in the Penny so I can't really hear you," rambled Andy. "If you'll just hold on a couple of minutes, I'll go outside where it's quiet." She couldn't really hear the reply but she couldn't hear the flat beep that they'd hung up on her.
She quickly grabbed her coat, and motioned to Traci that she was on the phone. Her friend smiled and said she'd get her another drink whilst she took the phone call. Andy smiled and walked out of the crowded noisy bar into the bracing cold bracing winds of a Canada winter. She leaned against Luke's car knowing he would probably kill her if he caught her.
"Hello? Hi, sorry about that, I can hear you now," said Andy. "Who am I speaking to?"
"It's me."
She doubled her grip on her phone after almost dropping it. "Sam."
"Hey," he said, his voice alone making her toes tingle. "I've missed you."
Andy sighed. She missed him too. It had only been three weeks since she had seen him that night at the Alpine Inn but it had felt like a life time ago. She longed to go back to that night. "Me too."
"I want you back here in my arms, I want to pretend that I'm not a crappy drug dealer again."
"You're not a crappy drug dealer though," pointed out Andy. She smiled when she heard him chuckle.
"Fine, I want to pretend that I don't have to pretend that I'm a crappy drug dealer," conceded Sam, she could practically hear him roll his eyes. "But that's not the point I'm trying to make."
"And what is the point you're trying to make?" asked Andy nervously.
"That I think you should come over."
"Sam…"
"You could get a cab to a couple of blocks over and then walk the rest," carried on Sam, ignoring her hesitation. "I'll even meet you but we'll have to circle round a few times first."
"I can't," said Andy, swallowing. "You know why I can't, Sam. You're undercover and we shouldn't have even done it the first time round. I don't want to be the girl who blows your cover twice in your career. I want to so much, Sam, you need to believe that but is it really a good idea? You won't be undercover forever."
"Not forever, no, but probably for a few more months if not up to a year. This thing, you and me, that's a long time to wait."
"I know," whispered Andy. God, she missed him so much. "But there's nothing we can do."
"That night you didn't care about the rules and risk, so why now?"
"It was coincidence, a sign and I couldn't not take that chance," gushed Andy, trying to make him understand the feelings she didn't even have a sense of. "It was the best night of my life but there will be mo-"
"Andy, babe, how long are you going to be? I need to go back to the station after I drop you off."
She looked around bewildered to hear a voice different to Sam's. Luke had popped his head round the door, with an annoyed look on his face.
"I'll be five minutes," called out Andy, her voice faltering.
"Who was that?" asked Sam, his voice deadly still. She couldn't answer. The guilt choked her up. "Was that Callaghan? Seriously?"
"Sam, it's not what you-"
"Don't you tell me it's not what I fucking think when it clearly is," growled Sam. "I can't believe you're still with that bastard. He cheated on you, Andy."
"Technically, I cheated on him with you too."
"Oh so that's what that was then? Was I the revenge fuck? A little what happens undercover stays undercover," shouted Sam. "Thanks a lot, Andy. I thought what we had was real, I thought you were going to break things off with him. Maybe undercover work has finally started to whack my instincts."
"Please don't say that, Sam, it wasn't like that, it was-"
"You know what, Andy? I think that was the sign you were looking for. The sign that maybe we just weren't meant to be."
"No please," cried Andy, tears rolling down her face. "Sam! Sam? Sam!"
She pulled the phone from her ear. Disconnected.
With a shuddery sigh she returned to the Black Penny and felt more lonely than she had ever felt before despite being a part of a crowd. It was like all the noise she had heard before had been dimmed, the only thing she could hear was Sam's voice. It was angry at her drowning out everything else.
"Andy, I've got to go back to the barn now."
Andy whirled her head around to find Luke stood next to her with the same apologetic face she had seen too many times to count.
"Sorry, what?"
"I said, I've got to go back to the barn now," replied Luke, with an impatient sigh. "You'll be okay getting a lift home with someone else, won't you? I'll probably be all night."
"I thought you were dropping me off first?" asked Andy confused.
"I don't have time now," said Luke, sounded frustrated. "It's an important case."
"Yeah it's fine," nodded Andy, not even looking at him in the eye, too scared to in case he saw how upset she was. "Traci can drop me off."
"Brilliant," grinned Luke, hurriedly dropping a kiss on her cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Andy frowned as she watched him leave the bar. Had she really turned down Sam for this? But what had she turned down? Meaningless sex? She shook her head. It wasn't meaningless for her.
"Andy, hun, are you okay?" asked Traci, appearing in front of her with a drink in hand. Andy just looked up at with glossy eyes, the tears threatening to spill. "Okay, we're off to the ladies'." Andy let Traci guide her through the crowds, barely registering it when her friend kicked people out of the toilets for privacy. "Alright, what's going on?"
"Sam called me," said Andy sadly. "He wanted me to go back to his apartment."
"His undercover apartment?"
"Yeah."
"Please tell me you said no," exclaimed Traci, her eyes widening. "You can't compromise-"
"I said no."
"But you wanted to," said Traci.
"So much," cried Andy, taking a raggedy breath to stop herself from sobbing. "It's not fair, Trace. He could be away for over a year. I can't bear the thought, I really can't."
"You've got Luke."
"Yeah, I've got Luke," said Andy with a frown. "Luke who cheated on me, Luke who leaves me for any excuse to do some work, good, old, reliable Luke."
"Luke is a jerk," said Traci angrily. "He doesn't deserve you. He never did. We don't know why you took him back."
Andy knew who 'who' was. The rookies, the TOs, every nosy person at Fifteen… Her. "Because I couldn't face being alone."
"But Sam…"
"Didn't make a move," interrupted Andy. "So I forgave Luke. But that night; I couldn't not be with Sam. He's made his move but it was too late. I took Luke back and now I don't think I can cope with it anymore."
"Then break up with Luke, wait for Sam," ordered Traci. "Luke doesn't make you happy like Sam can. I told you to put Swarek on ice and I'm sorry for that."
"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault," dismissed Andy.
"If I'd have pushed you towards Sam though, you wouldn't be in this situation you'd have been happily with him."
"Or maybe Sam and I would have had sex and he'd have moved on," said Andy dryly. "Back then it would have just been about the attraction and the sex and now… well I know it isn't just about sex for me but I don't know about him."
"Everyone has known he has been head over heels in love with you pretty much since the moment you tackled him to the ground," chuckled Traci, causing Andy to blush. "That's why we were surprised he didn't do anything when Luke cheated."
"Yeah me too," said Andy solemnly. "But it doesn't matter now; it's too late. He heard Luke on the phone and he got really angry. He said that what we did was just to get back at Luke and I couldn't persuade him otherwise. He hates me. By the time he comes back, if he comes back to the division, any feelings he had will be totally gone."
Crap. She was late – really late. There was no way she would get to parade before Best did. There was no one in the women's locker room as she hurriedly pulled on her uniform. If she was lucky she'd be able to slip in unnoticed and if she was really lucky she'd be partnered by someone like Chris. He wouldn't bother her and would let her have a nice quiet contemplative day. God forbid she'd be partnered with Dov or Oliver.
She slid in to parade as quietly as she could, not looking up as though that would be begging for someone to notice her. People were shifted as though they were about to leave so maybe she had gone unseen.
"McNally, glad you could make it." Or maybe not.
"Sorry, Sir," apologised Andy, blushing.
"You're on patrol with Swarek today….."
Andy heard nothing after that. She felt as though she'd been punched in the stomach. Did she really hear that right? Sam… he was undercover, deep undercover.
"McNally." She knew that husky toned voice couldn't be anyone but him. Finally she looked up to see Sam stood in front of her staring at her with those intense dark eyes she'd missed so much. She swallowed. Everybody else had filed out of the room without her even realising. She felt nervous being alone with Sam, nervous of her own feelings.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice catching a little.
"Well it turns out I missed the uniform," cracked Sam with a smirk. The smile didn't reach his dimples and Andy frowned.
"Please don't joke with me, Sam," said Andy seriously. "Why aren't you undercover? Were you made? You said it was months before the case would be over."
"I walked out."
"What?"
"I walked out," repeated Sam, taking a deep breath. "I got in contact with Boyd and forced him to pull me out. He's definitely not happy about it so if he ever visits Fifteenth I'd stay out of his way because he probably blames you. Hell, I blame you."
"Why is it my fault?" asked Andy, willing the tears at the back of her eyes to stay there and not fall. She couldn't tell whether or not he was still mad at her.
"I have always been good at compartmentalising my life," explained Sam, leaning against a desk in front of her. "It's why I'm good at undercover work. I can totally immerse myself into whatever I am meant to be or do and forget everything else. I blame you because I can't do that anymore. I can't get you off my mind. I can't stop worrying about you when I'm not there to protect you. I definitely can't stop thinking about Callaghan's hands on you where my hands want to be. I couldn't last minutes let alone another year after we spoke on the phone."
"You came back for me," cried Andy, hating to hear the desperation and longing in her voice.
"If you'll have me," smiled Sam, dimples on full display. "I know you're still with Callaghan but you've got to know that you won't be half as happy with him as you will be with me. I can't promise you that it'll be happily ever after and that nothing will go wrong. I can promise you that I would never abandon you and I would never, never cheat on you Andy."
"You know, if I break up with Luke then I'll be homeless," joked Andy, finding herself drawn towards him, her hands resting against his chest.
"Then move in with me," urged Sam, resting his forehead against hers gently, wrapping his arms around her.
"Are you sure?" asked Andy, surprised. "I mean, that's big, tha-"
"I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't," chuckled Sam softly. "You know I'm not very good with words so I'm hoping walking out of a really important undercover case just for you can say what I can't. I want us, Andy. I want normal."
He closed the few centimetre gap that was between their lips and kissed her with all the persuasion she would ever need.
"Are you trying to say that you love me?" said Andy with a shy smile.
"Yeah, I guess I am," grinned Sam, tightening his hold around her.
"Good because I love you too," exclaimed Andy, before throwing her arms around his neck and dragging his mouth back down to hers.
"You owe me fifty bucks, Shaw," grinned Noelle triumphantly as they stood outside the parade room listening in on their friends.
"I can't believe he walked out," groaned Oliver, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. "I thought he'd just turn it down, but no he accepted the case so stupid me thought he'd actually follow through with it. And now you're taking my lunch money."
"You make Epstein get your lunch so stop complaining. I'm not getting any younger here, you know," said Noelle, with her hand held out patiently.
"Double or nothing there's punches thrown when Callaghan finds out Sam has stolen his fiancée?"