May 2018

Hello, all.

I've disappeared for a few years; I owe it to myself and to you all to finish and beautify this story.

It's reached my biggest audience by far, and I've wanted to complete it for seven years now. I think i'm finally equipped to do that. There's a longer, more in depth A/N in chapter eight.

I've gone back through to write this story more seriously and to tell it with a clear purpose.

So, here is the edited version of What's Wrong With Me.

Thank you all for everything.

hope

It was an average day in Amity Park. Cars honked downtown, teens kept their eyes glued to their phones, and Danny Phantom crashed into a billboard.

Yes, an average day in Amity Park.

The local hero's head popped out of the debris, shaking the rubble and dust out of his hair. He cracked his neck to the side, looking annoyed. "That was a cheap shot, Skulker."

He heard a chuckle somewhere to his left; instinctively, he shot away from the board just as it exploded into a puff of green smoke and debris. Skulker appeared from thin air, grinning maliciously. "You're different than any regular prey, whelp. There's no such thing as cheap shots when you're involved."

"What? What happened to sportsmanship?" Danny protested, floating a good few meters away.

"This is sportsmanship! One day soon, I'll have your pelt on my wall. It will go nicely with my werewolf decor!"

Danny's nose curled. "Not a pretty picture, dude." he ground out, then inhaled as he avoided a well-aimed ecto-blast. "Seriously, don't you have anything better to do? Come on, can't you just stop being you for like, two seconds?"

Said ghost responded with a wicked grin. "Never."

Danny rolled his eyes as he charged up an ecto-blast. "Unfortunately, I don't doubt that." And with that, he hit Skulker squarely in the chest.

With a startled grunt, the hunter was thrown through the wall of the Mayor's Office, leaving a large, Skulker-shaped hole in his wake.

"Oh, great," Danny grumbled at his blunder. "He's gonna have a field day with the press."

Sighing as he took out his thermos, Danny prepared to suck the dazed ghost in- and suddenly doubled over in pain. With a gasp, he looked down in surprise at his abdomen. As suddenly as it had come, it had gone. Weird.

Speaking of weird… Turning his gaze back down quickly, he saw to his dismay Skulker had fled.

He turned, annoyed, preparing to track the ghost down before he terrorized someone else, when the pain returned.

Disoriented, he dropped like a stone to the ground below, stumbling towards the building. Confused and beginning to worry, he leaned against the broken wall. "What the heck?" He groaned, bringing a hand up.

He tried to move to a better position, but this proved to be a mistake. Flinching, he held still and wondered distantly what he'd eaten last night. Thankfully, the pain seemed to fade, but all too soon Danny was faced with another.

Vlad Masters leaned against the interior of the building, arms crossed almost casually as he observed the boy through the hole.

"Well, well, if it isn't my young nemesis," Vlad smirked.

Danny scowled at the man, resisting the urge to punch the smug look off of his stupid face. "What do you want, Plasmius?"

Vlad smiled. "Why, nothing, dear boy- well, aside from you renouncing your father, myself marrying your mother, and for us to become father and son." He said innocently, before his expression soured. "But for now, I'd settle for you to NOT BLAST HOLES IN MY OFFICE!"

Danny flinched back at the outburst, before returning the glare. "Sorry about your issues, Vlad. How about this; no, no, no, and karma- OW-!"

Danny suddenly found himself on his knees, clutching his abdomen as he bit on his tongue.

Oh, man, he thought desperately, it was the burritos.

"What on earth? Daniel?" Vlad called out above him, stumped.

"Shhh," Danny moaned, not trusting himself not to barf if he opened his mouth.

"Did you just shush me?" Came the incredulous response.

Danny didn't bother answering. He just grunted, leaned against the wall, and tried to focus on not seeing those treasonous burritos again.

Breathe, Fenton, he chanted in his mind. Breathing is good. Just. Breathe.

Vlad chose that moment to shake his shoulder. It wasn't received well. The next thing Danny knew he was back in his human form and seeing stars.

Then, it was gone.

Danny breathed out shakily, stomach still rolling in discomfort. His vision cleared. He saw a pale Vlad standing above him with the offending hand raised away as though he'd been burned. Feeling hot embarrassment fill his stomach at being seen so weak, Danny scowled at the man even as his face heated. "Thanks for that, Frootloop."

Vlad's expressions turned murderous, and the same hand snapped forward like a viper. Danny felt his neck joints crack painfully as his head was thrown to the side. Shock replaced the pain, which was then replaced by fury.

Danny gaped at the man. "Did you just slap me?"

Vlad sneered down at him. "Count yourself lucky that's all I did, you scoundrel!"

"Scoundrel?" Danny repeated blankly, a hand on his burning cheek.

"Butter biscuits, Daniel, you just transformed in broad daylight! You'd best thank your lucky stars no one saw it!" Vlad threw his hand wildly to to the empty parking lot and road. "What in heaven's name was that?"

"Wait- is that a cat?" Danny interrupted, pointing to the lone kitten behind Vlad, resting contently on the desk.

Vlad's face curled into something so sinisterly ugly that Danny felt his backhanded attempt to change the subject shrivel and die on his tongue.

Okay, maybe bringing the cat up wasn't the best move. Especially when Vlad is this close.

With a deep growl that would make a werewolf nod in approval, he heaved the boy to his feet, visibly restraining himself. "I don't know who you were trying to fool, but you crossed a line with that stunt. You're lucky I'm so swamped today, else I might teach you a lesson."

"You thought I was acting?" Danny asked, stunned.

"You are many things, Daniel, but you are not a good actor," Vlad told him rather distastefully. "It's a miracle you haven't exposed us."

"I can act!" Danny protested weakly, then dropped it in favor of the more important matter. "But- I wasn't acting!"

"Whatever you say, Daniel," he said, disbelief clear in his tone. His eyes narrowed. "Now, get out of what's left of my office."

Vlad sat down at his desk, swivelling his chair around to see Danny stare back at him with an annoyed expression. The younger looked around the room pointedly, then back to the destroyed wall around him.

"You know what, Vlad? I think this is an improvement. Who knows? Maybe I'll come back and help re-decorate when you're not so busy."

Vlad merely pointed a finger and sent a short pink ecto-beam at the boy. With a yelp, the boy scrambled out of sight. A moment later, Vlad spotted a black and white blur streak across the sky.

Thank the Lord.

Still, that had been an odd exchange, even for Daniel.

Vlad glanced at the destroyed wall in annoyance. No, he was sure the boy was just being petulant.

And yet… Vlad couldn't shake the unnerved feeling that something truly wasn't right.