Ok, This is a complete crack fic. I'm unabashedly making fun of Klaine, when in reality I love them. They have basically been the sole reason I continue watching Glee since season two. But sometimes, It's just SO EASY so poke fun at them.

I'm saying what, when you get down to it, really happened in each of the episodes :)

WARNING: If you're against the F-word and mentions of sex, leave. Wrong parody crack fic for you. Some chapters will be much shorter than others

Without further ado...*Kurt makes sparkles and prances around in tight clothes to announce intro to parody, while Blaine stares at a pigeon, oblivious* We begin!

Never been Kissed

Kurt: Hey, I'm new here.

Blaine: *Turns around*

The world: *slows down* literally, there's a slow motion scene.

Everybody watching Glee: Flips out because you can just tell he will be Kurt's boyfriend from one look, because Glee is kind of predicable like that.

Blaine and Kurt: Hold hands in the weirdest way possible while running. That would be awkward walking. Why are they running.

Blaine: So new kid, let me touch your chest and wink at you.

Blaine: And sing "let you put your hands on me in my skin tights jeans, be your teenage dream tonight!" in your face.

Later Blaine: What, me like you? When did I send those kinds of messages?

Kurt: *has an emotional breakdown* when did I become so sensitive?

Blaine: Well, either you can come here, but not everybody can afford it, and from the looks of your clothes….and hair style….and-

Kurt: I get it.

Blaine: So yea, maybe not. Refuse to be the victim.

Kurt: genius.

Kurt: PUNCH ME

Karaofksy: HOT! Ima make out with you!

Kurt: …

Kurt: ….dude, what the HELL? You torture me for being gay, literally physical harming me and putting me in dumpsters, and it turns out YOU might be gay?

Kurt: bwa ha. BWA HAHA. REVENGE WILL BE MMMIINNNEEEEEEE HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Blaine: I was just pushed into a wall, and look like a supermodel. Really, look at a photo of me chilling against the fence in this scene. I bet I practiced in front of a mirror.

Kurt: I've never been kissed. Well, one that counted. I was essentially just sexually assaulted.

Blaine: Dude, coffee will solve that.

Kurt: Coffee?

Blaine: Coffee.