And Then I Knew

Part 1-Victoria's POV

"Victoria?"

Victoria turned, startled to hear the voice of her friend Diego in the privacy of her kitchen. His voice was full of concern for her and she tried hastily to wipe the tears off of her face. She was busy washing the morning's dishes while the tavern was closed for siesta and had not expected any company. She certainly had not anticipated anyone else interrupting her pity party. But leave it to Diego to be consistently inconsistent.

"What's wrong?" he asked timidly, as he held the gift in his hand awkwardly.

She could not help but feel slightly sorry for him despite her own low mood. Diego would have no idea how to deal with a woman's emotions, let alone hers. But he was a good friend and would certainly try his best to comfort her. And that's what she needed at that moment. Normally she would have said nothing, smiled and accepted the gift Diego obviously had brought for her birthday. But today she did not have it in her to pretend she was happy. Not when her twenty eighth birthday brought her no closer to the life she wanted for herself. Besides, part of her knew she wanted Diego to comfort her. He always seemed to know the right thing to say.

"Why won't Francisco formally pardon Zorro?" she asked in exacerbation, her labile moods evident as she seemed to switch from sad to angry in an instant. She placed the dish she had been washing back into the sink to keep herself from throwing it across the room.

Los Angeles had been a Mexican territory for almost three weeks now and her brother was presiding as the acting alcalde until a formal election could be held. He knew she was in love with Zorro. He knew the masked man had only fought against the tyranny that he himself had helped liberate them from. Then why didn't Francisco exonerate Zorro?

"I spoke to your brother about that. He said that he would not actively try to capture Zorro, and has rescinded the prize for his capture, but he could not condone Zorro's actions or it would be seen as formally condoning vigilantism. A just government cannot condone anarchy, even when it's desirable. He thinks it would be better for everyone if Zorro just faded away. It would show the people of Los Angeles that Mexico is fair, and doesn't require his brand of heroism."

Victoria smiled at Diego, when he talked politics he suddenly seemed like the man he had been when he spoke to the royal emissary about the pueblo's taxations. She almost flushed when her mind turned to the night afterward they had spent alone in an abandoned windmill. But then her mind quickly distracted her with the fact that something in Diego's tone did not sit well with her.

"You're not suggesting that you agree with him?" she demanded. Didn't Diego understand? Zorro was a hero and he deserved a hero's reward. Not to fade out of everyone's minds to be forgotten in the business of a normal life.

"I agree whole-heartedly," admitted Diego, though he appeared to be watching carefully for her reaction.

"You and my brother are both idiots then," she declared, deciding she would take some of the anger at her brother out on Diego since he was there.

"Zorro seems to agree with us too since no one has seen him since the revolution. Is he an idiot as well?"

"Well then hhe's a bigger idiot than both of you," muttered Victoria though she felt disloyal saying so about her betrothed to Diego. But she had been internally swearing at her masked lover for days and it was a relief to get some of those feelings off her chest.

Victoria smiled at her friend for a second as he seemed to find this sentiment worthy of one of his rare laughs that actually reached his eyes. She mused that Diego never seemed to laugh sincerely and it warmed her heart to see him this way.

"I don't know what you find so funny," she added after a minute.

"I finally live up to the expectations of Zorro and it's only in my ability to be an idiot," he added self-deprecatingly.

"No one expects you to live up to the expectations of Zorro Don Diego," she replied. She suddenly felt mad at herself for bringing up Zorro with Don Diego. She knew that it bothered her friend.

"Yes, but sometimes I wished I could be more like Zorro," admitted Don Diego, his voice taking a more serious tone. "It would have made my life a lot easier to be a man of action. I admit, I have been jealous of him on more than one occasion."

Victoria looked at Diego in surprise, willing him not to proclaim those things which she had fancied she had seen in his eyes on several occasions. Despite the fact that she was furiously willing him not to make her reject him for Zorro, he went on anyway.

"To openly challenge De Soto to a duel, to come riding into town on Toronado, to kiss a beautiful woman would have been nice."

Victoria flushed at Diego's words.

"Don't be ridiculous Diego, you would have gotten yourself killed, or hung afterward," she chastised hoping that he would stop his declaration but hoping he would go on at the same time.

"Exactly. That's why I could never do it. I had to use the Guardian to support my cause, I had to probe Mendoza for information under the guise of lunch, I had to hide my intentions in shadows to protect myself and the ones I loved. I had to hide my very self in those same shadows so no one would see the similarities."

Victoria stared at her friend in shock while the pit in her stomach burned with anticipation of his next words.

"It was easy playing the hero; but it was much harder playing the coward. I will gladly let Zorro the hero fade into the background if I can stop being Diego the coward. I want to be the man I was meant to be."

Victoria's voice almost cracked on the words, "Who were you meant to be Diego?"

"Not a hero. But a man you and my father could be proud of querido."

Victoria should have been angry, but her heart was too busy breaking at the sincerity in Diego's words, and the realization of what he had done. He had spent the last decade being half the man he was supposed to be. He let his father put him down. He let her tease him for being less than he truly was. Despite her fiery temper she was naturally caring and wanted to comfort him. She reached out for his hand and soon was met with the longing eyes of the man she loved.

End Chapter 1