Something my mind coughed up whilst having Writer's Block Flu.

Insanity. Complete Dialouge. Crack like none other.

Enjoy! Note: Swearing is beeped out with random noises. Don't even ask..

Trust me on this one. Also, everyone gets nicknames. See if you can figure it out xD

Edward: "I am... THE BLONDE ALCHEMIST!"

Al: "No, brother, it's FULLMETAL."

Ed: "NO! I AM BLONDE; THERFORE I AM!"

Mustang: "I'm too sexy for my gloves, too sexy for my gloves, too sexy for.."

Ed: "Royboy, what the (airhorn noise)!"

Roy: "Erm Edward did you ingest an airhorn again?"

Our favorite little Eddie: "Whose asking?"

Pyro-Man: *facepalm* "Nevermind."

Teh Short One: "WIPE THAT (airhorn noise) SMIRK OFF YOUR F (airhorn nosie)ING FACE, YOU (cow mooing)!"

*Edward, Roy, and Al look at the sky in an epic syncronised manner, cause the author said so.*

Tin Can: "OMG A FALLING PIG! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

Blonde Antenna- Haver: "Alphonse that's a kitten."

Crazy-Cat Lover Armor..Person: "REALLY OMG KITTEN WHERE CAN I EAT I- I mean...play with it like a normal little boy?"

Red-Coat Wearer of Epicness:"What the (doorbell ringing)?"

Voice from the heavens: "EDWARD F(car horn)ING ELRIC SHUT THE F(wind chimes) UP AND CLEAN OUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU LITTLE (lizard peeing)!"

Chick Magnet: "Wow, this mystical voice from the skyland regions really woke up on the wrong side of the bed!"

Sky-Talker: "Shut up, Roy."

Mei:"Hey Alphonse! Your kitten is smexy!"

Young Metal One: "Um, how did you get in there..?

Mei Whose Voice Is Weird From Being Inside Alphonse: "Oh I don't know." *poofs away*

Genderless Random Voice: "I HATE MY NONEXISTNG LIFE! I'LL NEVER MEET A GIRL!"

Man With A Miniskirt Fetish: "Aww, Mystical Voice. Don't be sad."

Protoganist Shrimp: "...Colonel what the (screaming moose) are you doing."

Flame-ed One: "Patting the depressed sky-voice, on the back, LE DUH!"

Leather-Pants Boi:"...That's my butt."

Emo Sky-Being: "That will not be mentioned! THIS IS A G RATED KIDS SHOW!" *and so, aforementioned awkward dialogue disappears into the void where unloved dialogue goes to perish.*

Elevated Boot Wearer: "Like (ninja noise) it is. This is Fullmetal Alchemist, Rated TV-14!~"

I Make Smores Whenever I Like: "I NEVER GET A SHOW ABOUT ME! WHYYYYYYYY!"

Main Character in a Suit Of Armor That Isn't Loved Like Ed: "Aw Colonel here, eat this kitten cake. It will fill you with ponies and rainbows~"

Voice That No One Seems To Question:"This is TOOOO a kids show! See!" *supposed children fall from the sky, hitting The Blonde Alchemist*

Don't Call Me Short, I'll Rip Off Your Feet and Stick Them On Your Head: "(nails on a chalkboard) (ballerina toot) (shoe burp) (strangled seal) (Mr. Krabs) (therapist from authors other fic)"

*cast faints from Ed's rainbowalishous vocabulary, then recovers cause the author got bored staring at unconcious people*

Now Un-Emo Gleeful Voice:"See! This is your audience!"

Ally Ally Alphonse:"...This is a Shamwow."

Shamwow Loving Sky Voice: "Ah, righto. Wrong switch."

*more objects fall from the sky*

RoyBoy: "...Toasters. Really?"

Solf. J. Kimblee, The Pimp: "I FREAKING LOVE TOASTERS!"

The Little Person: "Kimblee.? How'd you get out of prision?"

Boom Goes the Child: "Prision? I run a haberdashery.. *epic pause*

*pause*

*more pause*

"that sells ISHBALAN CHILDREN!"

*worldwide gasp*

"Hahaha no, I sell icecream."

First Lieutenant Trigger-Happy:"MY HEAD BLEW UP BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Sky Voice That Knows All: "Oh, hi Riza. And no, I'm pretty sure that was Scar."

Do Your Paperwork: "Oh, you mean the man who said he'd make me pretty enough for the Colonel?"

Cast: "..."

Mr. Armstrong LuvsToSparkle: "Hey since when were we in the desert?"

Izumi Kick-Ur-Ass: "I thought we were in Candyland."

I Took A Picture Of Your Mom: "No idiot we were at Kimblee's icecream store."

The Almighty Voice: "...Maes, we're in the mens restroom."

Short Ranting Short One: "I AM RHIANNA!"

Little Brother/Kitty Mother:"..But you're blonde."

Alchemy Freak: "I AM THE BLONDE ALCHEMIST!"

Philospher's Stones Are YumYum: "I LIKE TOASTERS!"

Madame Christmas: "I ENJOY GOLDEN SPORKS!"

Yay For Flames: "...Who are you?"

Bar-Lady: "YOUR MOM!"

Set My Paperwork On Fire, Like a Boss: "Pfft. Your a (unicorn indigestion) old lady."

Envy The Envious: "No..I'm a gender-confused apple tree."

I Like Sparkly Steriods: "Oh, okay. Nothing weird with a shapeshifting appletree."

I'm Just A Housewife: "Wait, what are we doing?"

Colonel Bastard: "Sitting in the mens restroom."

Sky Voice That Hasn't Made An Appearance For A Bit: "Actually no. You're dead, and this is your eternal punishment."

*Roy's screaming shakes a glass off the shelf above his desk, causing it to fall and smash his nuts, causing him to wake up rather abruptly*

"Damn, I gotta lay off the pixie sticks."

Righto ! Okay yes I misplaced my sanity.

THEY ASKED ME WHAT I WOULD DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR !

Anyway, I got bored to typing Ed: and Al: and Roy:...so I gave them all nicknames.

Please read and review!

Everytime you read and don't review...Mustang eats another pixie stick and Edward gets shorter.

PLEASE, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

~FullMetalCrayon, off to frolic in another land~