Green Envy

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Getting a good night's sleep inside of Aperture was proving to be one of its biggest challenges yet.

Chell growled in irritation as she rolled over again, pulling the sheets more tightly around her. With the holidays fast approaching, and not a single living relative to speak of, she had arrived quite unexpectedly at the underground laboratory several days ago and announced she would be staying for the next few weeks. Her explanation for this new development had been quite simple: Christmastime was to be shared with family, and she planned on doing exactly that.

Was she really surprised, then, that GLaDOS had made a huge show of complaining about the whole thing and yet made no attempt whatsoever to deny her the request?

Still, the sleeping part took some getting used to. Aperture was a place with no darkness, full of white light and white walls, even more so now that it had been mostly restored to its original condition. Chell had taken up residence in one of the many empty, hotel-like rooms that employees used to reside in when working on a long-term project. It wasn't uncomfortable, but she couldn't help feeling a sense of disorientation from the lack of sunlight. Night and day seemed to merge together.

Involuntarily, she shivered a bit. The sheets still weren't cutting it. How could the room be so damn cold this far underground?

God, she absolutely hated winter in Michigan.

A smug laugh came over the intercom. "Humans. The most intelligent animal, and one of the only land mammals to evolve away fur. Impractical, to say the least."

"Being smart gave us fire to keep warm, didn't it?" Chell shot back, rolling her eyes. A warm breeze had begun to enter the room through the air vent. "Can't you ever do anything nice for me without an insult?"

"I detest being nice." GLaDOS sounded serious about it, but that rarely ever meant much when it came to her actual honesty. "Nice is a flattering word for 'weak.'"

"You're nice to me though. Just me." The statement came out rather matter-of-fact. "Is it because we found out I'm the test-tube daughter of Caroline and her crazy boss? You did say that she was the reason you saved me from dying and all."

There was an offended silence for a moment. When it came to GLaDOS, silences were either sarcastic or offended, and identifying which it was had almost become second nature for Chell.

"That was a lie to get you to leave, in case that still wasn't clear enough," the AI replied with an irate sigh. "No one controls my behavior now that those parasitic cores are gone." She paused thoughtfully for a moment. "And as I've already told you, Caroline is little more than a fragmented memory. Though I won't lie; her emotions can be disorienting at times."

Chell rolled over again. For whatever reason, listening to that soft voice was making her sleepy. "Is that why you were so confused down in old Aperture?"

"The program that composed her being had been inactive up until that point. The transfer was a failure, considering I still remained the primary consciousness in the system." An unusually sobered tone had crept into her voice, as though she felt ambivalent toward the subject. "The familiar stimulus of Mr. Johnson's orders triggered a response. She had been there all along. Just silent."

GLaDOS had a way of using a verbal sleight of hand to distract from answering a question she didn't like. Actually admitting any positive feelings toward a human would be a lot easier, wouldn't it?

"So to answer your question: no, I haven't spared you because of your relation to Caroline. I can assure you I would have truly deleted her had she held that power over me," she finished, an almost defensive sharpness to her voice. "I would still have no second thoughts about killing you or anyone else if I so desired."

Chell had to hide a laugh. This subject was one of only a few that GLaDOS contradicted herself on. She liked to pretend that any feelings she didn't like must be a result of Caroline. But she had a very jealous streak about the maternal connection between Chell and the woman that had been sacrificed in the name of science. Having it both ways just wasn't possible in this case.

"But you won't," Chell pointed out, the typical defiance showing through. "Because you think of yourself as my mother. That's why you get so upset when I bring her up."

The AI scoffed at the suggestion. "You speak as though I'd be capable of such a thing. Only your kind indulge in those ridiculous notions. I have no genetic material, and thus no obligation to anyone. Thankfully so, I would add."

Chell couldn't help but chuckle at the adamant, frustrated way in which she denied it. "Maybe so, but your actions say otherwise. You don't have to be related to someone biologically to care a lot about them."

A brief, petty silence followed. Nothing else put her in the corner quite like the truth did.

"You know why I say that?" the woman went on, propping her arms up behind her head. "Because Cara Mia was your doing. You said it yourself: Caroline doesn't influence you. So who else could that be?"

"It was in her memory." GLaDOS sounded almost disgusted, but there seemed to be another emotional variable lurking there. "I had heard it before, too. The weighted companion cubes played that song. To encourage the test subjects I imagine. However, the lyrics remained a mystery, so I will admit improvising."

That came closer to a confession than usual. Maybe they were getting somewhere?

Chell felt a wry smile forming. "Was that your way of saying goodbye, then?"

"I would say more of an apology for past wrongs," the AI replied, her voice betraying an enormous amount of distaste at saying the words. "And my thanks as well. I'm not ignorant to the fact that you had no need to rescue me from that flying rat. I'm no fool. I realized that my circumstances had changed, and that the world looks significantly different from inside the test chamber."

"I still don't know why I did that, in all honesty," Chell admitted, subconsciously scratching her neck in thought. "You were just so damn horrible to me. But that didn't change the fact that I felt wrong for putting you through that awful core transfer ordeal. I just wanted to escape, not torture you to death."

"You know there isn't anything I can do to change that." There was a distinctly solemn air about GLaDOS whenever the subject came up. "Though you should find some comfort in the fact that you did kill me. Quite brutally, in fact."

"Yeah, and at the time, I never would've dreamed that you could ever be reasonable," Chell laughed. "So you do have to give Wheatley some credit for that. God knows what would have happened without him screwing everything up."

"I know what would have happened. I was planning on killing you in the next test chamber."

The woman sighed, smacking one hand to her face. "I meant it in a more rhetorical sense. I know what you were going to do."

"I didn't really want to do it, to be completely truthful." The AI exhaled dramatically, something she was rather good at. "You were by far the best test subject I ever had. It seemed a terrible waste. And yet, I was left with no choice considering your murderous tendencies."

Chell smiled, still proud of her past victory even now that they were at peace with each other. She had been pretty clever to overcome the odds stacked against her, after all.

"Hey, GLaDOS? One more thing before I go to bed." She couldn't help thinking that she sounded like a child.

The reply came out sounding rather bored. "Mm, and what would that be?"

"I just want you to know you don't have to be jealous of Caroline anymore. I already think of you like my adopted mother." Chell felt a bit awkward saying it, but it was just one of those things that had to be in the open. "Even if that does disgust you."

GLaDOS didn't respond, as was mostly expected. For the most part, she had a terribly difficult time acknowledging any emotions other than hatred and annoyance.

"You know that I'm not fond of sharing," she finally answered, her inflection full of obvious reluctance. "I don't share my facility, and I don't share my test subject, either."

"I like how you still refer to me as your test subject." Chell's sarcasm was a perfect impression of the AI. "Now I really feel safe."

"I didn't say you were a test subject," GLaDOS quickly corrected her. Condescendingly, of course. "I said you were my test subject. A very important distinction to be made."

Chell rolled her eyes. The deranged computer did everything she could to avoid being at all affectionate toward her. At least not openly. Her fondness was usually hidden deep within the things she said and did.

Well, it wasn't looking like she was going to get any sleep here. Only one thing to do.

She gathered up her pillow and blanket, slinging it over her shoulder and walking out into the hall.

"It's rude to leave in the middle of a conversation," the AI commented flatly. "Just in case you were wondering."

But they both knew where she was headed, and no words were spoken as the woman strolled into the large room that GLaDOS inhabited. She curled up on the floor beside her, a contented smile on her face.

"This isn't a slumber party." GLaDOS sounded vaguely disgusted. "And you can't possibly be comfortable like that."

Chell ignored her protests. "I want you to sing me Cara Mia."

"Absolutely not," her friend sniffed back, clearly irritated at this point. "That was a one-time performance."

The human only stared pleadingly at her, a tiny pout on her face. Just like a little child.

GLaDOS turned her body away from the woman, her tone becoming more flustered. "That doesn't affect me, you know. You're wasting your time."

Still the staring persisted. Her optic flared in annoyance, her impending loss of the battle close at hand. She couldn't possibly be begging her for a lullaby in the very same room they tried to kill each other in.

The AI sighed, shaking her head in a mixture of disgust and resignation. At least this one would be considerably less painful to endure. Only her dignity would be taking the hit this time.

"Just once. And if you ever ask me to do this again, believe me, I will kill you."

A/N: Finished! Forgive me any typos, it is late as I post this and while I have proofread, I am terrible at catching mistakes and slightly retarded, so don't think me a complete idiot.

Hope you had fun reading these, I had a lot of fun writing 'em!

Best wishes,

-FP